by JaneX
I like this chapter quite a bit. The first chapter I couldn't really relate to, as virgin stories don't really turn me on, but I kept reading because your writing is very strong. This one was a lot more intriguing, and I appreciate your attention to detail. I will enjoy reading on.
I'm not sure you really need to separate the chapters, though.
The story? could have put chapters one and two together and still would of had no story, if chapter three is no better then you need to give it up.
But both chapters so far have been too short. For what it is worth I think you need to flesh out both the characters and the plot. For me it works as an outline but not a full blown story.
Please keep going perhaps build up on further episodes.
Best Wishes
Tom D