All Comments on 'Goodman, Dorsey, Miller...'

Hmmm... a rare miss for me from a JB44 story.

Christy is a sympathetic character in the beginning. But ultimately a coniving manipulator along with Samantha. Their plot is what lead to Robbie's death.

Only likeable characters in the story are ancillary ones. the always enjoyable process server Richard Boudreaux, and the two lawyers Penny and Eric.

Maybe Richard should get his own story.

pure crap.

What an incredibly boring stupid pointless story

-"To clear up any confusion"

I was so confused with the lack of detail or exposition, even after reaching the end of the story. The fact that you have to explain your story support that.

Then I realized, almost all characters have backgrounds that readers have to find out in other stories. Unlike Mustang's bubblegum-chewing server running gag, I suspects your characters' backstory from other story are substantial to this one. Unfortunately, that makes this hard to follow and cannot on its own be a stand alone story.

YAWN, incredibly boring! And what is with the obsession upu have of knowing females bra sizes? How gthe fuck would you know? Couldn't finish the first page.

I did not see the ending coming. Two stories in as many days, it's like Christmas in June. 5* as usual and thanks!

Very poorly written and it rambles. Is the writer a 3rd grader?

So the cheaters won

but, still a good story

I am glad that you put in the last paragraph that explained what was going on

Far too much CRAP nearly gave up on page one. More Amerian shit.

more femiest manhateing bullshit

That was atrocious.

There were far far far too many characters and the story was nonsensical.

Pretty soon the authors report of where you can find all the incidental characters will be longer than the story.

The green eyed monster strikes again!

5

Congratulations! This is the first story I've read on this site in which all of the characters are utterly loathsome pieces of trash with few or no redeeming traits. They all deserved to die, yet only one of them did and the two that deserved it most got instead to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. 3 stars for the overall quality of this work, 1 star for the repulsive outcome.

It's a very good story but you lost all character sympathy with the end.

A clever black widow honey trap twist on the ‘girls night out’ trope. Left me grinning. Thanks much.

It seems that some of the women in your story are still in the non-human category. You wrote a good story and I'm glad i read it.

Men got screwed in the store I’m just saying like when is the husbands turn in all the stores they get screwed every time lol

When I got to the 32E breasts I burst out in laughter and pulled the plug. They had to have been like footballs hanging off a 32" diameter torso. How did she not have chronic back problems lugging those things around?

Only 4* because even when Robbie been too touchy feely with Chrissy, he didn't deserve to die. However, it has been better than the lawsuits he was facing.

And that his wife and Chrissy don't feel any remorse shows they are heartless bitches.

This is a mess . No story here bud

Thank you. Your stories are always entertaining. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I’m sad, sometimes I cheer. Good writing, good characters, good dialogue. I look forward to your next story.

Piss Poor Jim Bob. Yet another man fucked over in LW. 1*

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

I am not dinging the story itself but the writing. I found it disjointed and did not flow well.

Other than Chrissy wearing sexy lingerie to the office there was never anything mentioned about Robbie doing or saying anything inappropriate with Chrissy.

Man had to die because his wife and PA wanted to run off together??? Damn.

Ignore the detractors , good story

Glad these disjointed messes entertain YOU. Because they don’t entertain many ith3s.

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Poorly written….dumb plots….and when you feel 5he need to explain all of your characters in a passage almost as long as the story….

.

2 **

Good story

Not one of your better stories.

After leaving a recent comment I checked you Bio and see that you are from Louisiana so that might explain my thought that your writing has a Cajun quality to its flow. Not a negative comment but it does explain why I can't follow the wording pattern...maybe I need to spend some time in Pineville. Now that I can slide my thinking into the needed mode I'll read more of your stories.

While I admire the desire to write dialogue in the vernacular in which people speak, it went overboard. And the plot, story, characters- pure confusion.

Got lost. Way too many characters for me to keep track. Maybe that's on me though.

Not a fan of the south in general and definitely not a fan of the southern dialect in particular. It was the highest rated lw story this morning so I tried, but it was not my cup of tea. Another wasteland on lw today.

Now that was an unexpected twist at the end. OK story but certainly not what I expected. My biggest question is how any woman would ever marry someone like Steve??

With such vague developments, a twist was already there

These southern dialect stories are so irritating to try and read, even when the story might have a chance of being good.

That's just one problem though, you introduced irrelevant characters, skipped what kinda seemed like important stuff, and had a few irrelevant scenes, that it all just kinda came together as a poor mishmash.

And then of course, the rather ridiculous twist at the end. Just dumb.

Pretty sure you've written better.

You can argue about the subject of a story, but not about how to tell a story. For me it was a wild mess, in which I could only determine one thing for myself: How can two people build a common future on the "partially caused" death of another person?

I really enjoyed the local color, made for entertaining reading! My quibble is with your portrayal of Robbie. Until the bar scene, he was written as fairly straight-laced, with no indication that he had anything beyond a bit of eye-candy interest in Crissy (or any of the alternative candidates for the job). If anything, he seemed more big-brotherish with his concerns over the signs of abuse. Then, out of nowhere, boom, he has his hand on Crissy's butt in public? Perhaps this is consistent with your characterization in an earlier story . . . but I haven't read your earlier stories.

Really convoluted and confusingly written.

I used to think some of your stories would make a great movie, but I’m thinking “miniseries” now! Carefully crafted and interconnected stories like yours are awesome and keep me engaged. It’s like I KNOW these people.

Enjoyed it, still struggle a bit with the Cajun dialect. No idea why Chrissy put up with Steve. Robby was a victim of his wife’s plan to have Chrissy seduce him. Too bad he was killed off and the treacherous bitches got everything. Still I didn’t see the twist coming, so props for that, JB.

Had potential, but became a hot mess of confused story lines. 2*

Law of unintended consequences. Appreciate your stories. I know some people have problems with the dialects, but that's an acquired taste.

I enjoyed the overall story arc but the narrative was a little too direct in style for me to fell a connection to the characters. I really enjoy your stories, and especially the twist at the end on this one. That said, best I can give on this one is 4*.

I can’t believe some readers! Complain, complain, bitch, moan and complain… The story was very good, the dialect wasn’t really a problem (I mean, have they ever read any of your other stories?) and the story line was kind of fun. Two women, seemingly in a secret lesbian relationship, plotting against their husbands.

They turn out to be a bit cold — that some of the collateral damage is that one of the husbands is killed doesn’t appear to bother them that much (thank heavens he had a big life insurance policy for his erstwhile wife to inherit! LOL)

The real problem for readers of this story was: there weren’t any real heros, everyone was just varying shades of villains. No bitches were burned; indeed, the bitches end up happily relocating at the end — their contribution to the outcomes not recognized! Too much like real life stories that one sometimes reads.

Definite 5*

PostScriptor

Most underrated author on this site. The best understanding of Cajun dialect, patois and mannerisms since James Lee Burke.

Always liked hearing about what's happening down in DeGarde Louisiana.

Thanks JimBob for the updates.

there was no need to explain the ending to those not hare brained. But that's my only complaint. Jim Bob is just about the best on Lit.

A clusterfuck for sure.

No justice for Robbie left the story flat. Perhaps a part 2 where 10 years later Steve got a clue and goes looking for the cheating bitches.

Absolute shit

5 Stars! Good story, nice to hear from some characters from previous stories. Thanks for sharing your work with us.

You shift days and locations without any type of distinction. A larger break, a dotted line, something would help. You have two people talking and the next line is someone not there, then you realize it’s the next day, etc. very confusing. And to be honest, this had potential but was was too structured. No nuances. It was like reading a journal entry.

Twisted Sisters... I'm thinking plan still worked as the first shot (swing) is fired. Affording a $25 shot in the end it did. "Love it when a plan comes together" works in the South too Yankees.

Still batting a big zero. your stories are like the version of a migraine.

Another excellent story from a prolific author. Nicely done.

Seemed a bit of a holy mess, ya hear.

I didn't like this story👀.... my 1st time not liking a LW story of yours😒

What is germane to the story is character development. What you have here is a failure to communicate and a crazy story ending. What would have been better is for the tragic protagonist to be killed instead and then your warped sense of timing could have really screwed up a story line and created a threesome. Jeez try again and this time create a theme and trend outline.

Another outstanding story! You have created a world as alive and “real” as our own.

Well written and interesting story of anti-heroes with a surprise twist in the end . 5 star material

There is no indication that her husband experienced some great change in character or ethics, so she got what she married. Then somewhere she started fucking her boss's wife, but the husband is conveniently depicted as too stupid and lazy to notice that his wife has become a Lesbian? But just maybe the husband had determined that his wife no longer loved or respected him, and finally decided to find out who she was now giving her heart and soul to. So both women are selfish lying cheaters, but they are not satisfied with just admitting their change of sexual preference. No, they want to arrange to make others bear the blame for their adultery and pay for their deceit and corrupt souls. Nice. Is that your opinion of most Lesbians?

If you wanted to make the two taco eaters look clever or crafty you failed. They are evil people and will live fucked up lives. I hope someone writes that sequel. Anyway, thanks for the effort.

Kill'em all and let God sort'em out.

Good twist at the end, but was dragging like all hell till it kicked off.

Bearing witness to the interactions of a group of poorly educated, mean spirited Cajuns as they selfishly seek to pursue their own petty interests, typically at the expense of those around them, is unfortunately neither entertaining nor erotic. The best use of this submission might be as the basis of a class discussion for an introductory course in Abnormal Psychology at Nicholls State or LSUA. That assumes, perhaps mistakenly, that the instructors at those august centers for higher learning would not see these characters as well adjusted individuals.

But they set both of them up. Just wow.

Love Me Some JimBob44...BUT

In almost all states the marital privilege, which bars a spouse from testifying against a spouse, can be asserted by the nontestifying spouse. That means Steve could prevent Crissy from testifying against him in the trial.

...BUT, Louisiana is not a normal state from a legal point of view, so maybe...

Sorry too self indulgent, details that added nothing to the story.

Well, we always knew Steve was an entitled ass (too many athletes like that, too few like Arville Brodt). Samantha & Crissy set him.up pretty well though. This was pretty well set up & plotted out, and it gave a nice closure to a few more old familiar characters.

I would of like more details about the plan before hand.

Great story with a twist at the end. I like seeing familiar characters interact with new ones in your stories. Looking forward to more!

Entertaining as always. Oh yeah, love it when the entitled asshat trips over his dick.

I would have liked the twist more if you hadn't tried to paint the woman as a nice person in a bad situation.

She went from sympathetic character to causing a murder and being happy about it because she'd get paid.

The twist was there, but didn't feel earned in any way, like it was just there to be there.

Enjoyable and entertaining read as almost always since you take a quote from the author and change it - I read what I want to read for my enjoyment 😁

This was well worth reading and as always love the ending with breakout of where characters and place have been used before - Righting a wrong is still one of my favorites of JimBob44 stories - damn just noticed 371 stories written WOW!

Please do keep writing what you want to write and I will keep reading!

This was an unusual twist, well done.

So Robbie’s wife Samantha gets Robbie killed so she and Chrissy can live happily ever after, bullshit!

Great ending, aii the more for being unexpected.

Thanks for sharing your work!

Terrible .

One star

Another one nicely done... 5 !

EastCoaster

Just what the hell just hit? This was not a story, it is a cluster fuck, and it's the reader that gets the fucking. LP

What the flying fuk was this mess. completely unorganized and abrupt changes in theme and characters. Trash.

Another good read. Thanks.

What evil women

What a story. Well done, thanks.

One of the least likable attempts at a story. Disorganized and in desperate need of an editor.

What a fucking shit show of a story.....NOT WORTH READING

Not for me⭐️⭐️

Well told story. Great ending.

Didn’t care for it,

Hard to follow, especially during all the Court stuff.... Overly complicated lost the flow and intent.

\

3.4*** hooyah

Maybe I am not bright enough to follow and enjoy. So I won't be to critical or mark it down, but it wasn't for me.

So its sounds like Chrissy and Samantha was having a lesbian affair you should have put that in detail like how it started why it started and so forth

Usually like all your stuff, this was a giant swing and a miss. 1 star.

Excellent twist, shame some of the others just didn't get it.

The twist was just not believable. Sorry.