by MissLisaJones
.......you have got to write more...this can't be it!! I was enjoying it so much!!! Hope to see more!
MissLisaJones...I think I love you! OMG. I would love to read more. Keep up the good work.
Miss Lisa Jones, you know how to write, and do it exceptionally well. If Step by Step turns out as well as I'm sure it will, you'll get an honorific from me. This was a tough series to copy edit, but well worth it, despite the variable scores (which disregard, and focus on the positive feedback). Keep writing!! And, if you wish, I'll keep copy editing.
It's not half bad, but that was an awfully simplistic resolution for a character as deeply conflicted as you have made Wendy out to be. It would have been far more convincing if, say, Fran had dropped Jen off at a coach station, handed Jen her personal identification and several hundred quid, and told her to disappear. A tearful reunion after Wendy had spent the better part of a year looking for her would have been more plausible, I think. But I enjoyed reading the entire tale. Please write more stories.
Without divulging any author-copy editor confidences, I may say that Miss Lisa Jones and I did have e-correspondence during the copy editing process, which did not invariably deal with syntax, grammar and punctuation issues. That said, I cannot add to your comment about the conclusion except that I agree, to a certain limited extent.
Yes, I agree, I botched the ending. Sorry and all that but I'd painted myself into a corner and couldn't find a way out. The problem is that, when I got there, Wendy was always going to be too much of a psychopath for even Jen's love to cure.
I had no intention of making any part of our e-correspondence public. I apologize, most sincerely and deeply, if you feel that I betrayed any confidence. I take it as a major obligation of anyone who edits, whether copy, continuity, characterization, or whatever, not to reveal anything that passes between author and editor, and not to bad-mouth or denigrate the work or the author. The work speaks for itself. I may have had what comments I had, but without your permission I will say no more. being unhappy that I said even so much as I have.
I got a little nervous. The ending did seem a little weak, but over-all it was a fun story. I agree with Anonymous that separating the two for some time with a tearful or tentative reunion might have made for a somewhat more believable ending. But you had painted yourself into a corner (could Jen have really just walked away for a year with her computer rigged, etc?) Ah well. I still enjoyed it and look forward to more!
i agree with AnomolousCowherd at least this did not turn out to be a snuff story. True the ending is a tad weak, but would it have been any better if piglet had been killed or just allowed to disappear?
Personally i think the main question is, would Mistress really would have driven Herself and virtually grovelled Her forgiveness after only one week? Well all i can say is that love does seem to effect some people strangely.
Thank you MissLisaJones for ten wonderful chapters. i look forward to reading more of your stories.
I'm sad to see it end but i've really enjoyed reading this series :)
This was one of the most well written and just awesome stories I've read on Literotica. One of my very favorites! Thank you!
I thought that the whole story had a brilliant plot line, but there were a couple points that I thought let it down:
1 - Not enough detail of the characters. For me, Erotic Stories are supposed to paint pictures in your head, and for me, I like an image of the characters in my head, and your description was not enough.
2 - The botched ending was not good :/ it would have been brilliant to have seen a lot more than that for an ending, after a promising story, the conclusion was poor.
But please can you carry on writing this! There are so many great points about this that I loved, and I would love to see more of this story posted! There could be anything after that ending - could have Jen eventually being in control of Wendy for a change, or Wendy in control of Jen, and Jen in control of another!
So as I've said, great story, but still could be better if you add to it!
-x- T.B -x-
i love the d/s stories, but the problem is there always missing something. were's the love? this has to be my second if not first favorite lesbian d/s story. i don't know, its this or "Lee" they're both pretty good. i would recommend "Lee" to anyone who reads the comments btw
this was a great story....but i must agree a poor ending for a great story....please add a post script
I agree with those who found the ending lame. There could have been any kind of alternative one but having a soppy true love Hollywood ending was truly awful. Must agree otherwise it was an excellent read.
I loved the story...the characters: Jen & Wendy. Unlike most of those who've commented, I actually like the end....'Cos I didn't really see any other way †̥ end it. It's like you said: you had painted yourself in a corner!
Looking forward †̥ more stories from you.
I've loved this story from the very first rape of Jen until the very last tearfilled confessions of Wendy. I don't care about any lapses in logic or minor errors in execution, not in this story. The plot is too good, the characters too well thought out, the tale too well told and the sex is just to fucking HOT for anyone within their right mind to be worried with such little things. The only thing I would wish for was a little bit more clues in ther ending as to how piglets life became after she and Wendy got reunited. Is she still her slave, willingly obeying her every whim? you know, such things. Other than that, I found the ending to be a little bit of an anticlimax, but not at all bad. I am a sucker for happy endings and they don't get much happier than this one. Thank you for writing this story!
i'm not a fan of BDSM/slave/bondage thingy but u got me to read all up to Ch.10! That has to count for something! :)
Damn, girl, you know how to write. Excellent mix of plot and erotica. You brought the story to life. Well done.
As the title of the comment said I read it straight through and couldn't have been more entranced
This is the second of your stories that has resulted in ridiculously late nights as I could not put the story down. You mention holes in the story, I did not see them. I was just swept along wanting to know what will happen to the characters. I really enjoyed this!
That's all I ask....your an amazing writer please just one chapter
I to feel like this should continue at least for another chapter or to to show if there are any changes that go on I Wendy's psyche. Or my start a new series follow Wendy's POV after the last chapter
This series was wonderful! I was engaged through all 10 chapters. I agree with the previous comment about another chapter being from Wendy's POV, however, I think it should be during those six days that Jen is in the farmhouse. Possibly her struggle with the truth, and realizing that she was wrong. And then maybe some hot sex by the fireplace after their exchange. The ending was great, but hot sex is great too ;) Thanks for writing!
Love over turns ABUSE. THAT'S WHY I SAY. TRULY GULLIBLE!!!!!!
The ending was a bit anticlimactic, I suppose. But...tbh, it fits. This whole story has been ups and downs, lovely and sad. A disney ending is just what I wanted to be honest. I would be so depressed if they didn't end up happy and in love.
I liked fun & games and a real romance story mixed together. Even might have read this before, still great. Thanks. Please continue writing.
Still one of my favourite stories, I probably have read it more than 5 times over the years.
9 years late to the party...
Good read, bit of a roller coaster. I'm not sure I agree that Wendy is so much of a psychopath foe even Jen's love to cure. It is not just Jen who was the subject of her truth bombs- it was her whole staff. That is a bell that can't be unrung and likely the first time Wendy has not only been confronted with this but faced with continual reminder in the form of her staff? That could have been interesting to explore. Wendy unravelling, driving her staff away only to have one, or more, call on her bullshit?
Thank you for the story.