Graded Pt. 01

The sun hadn't risen and I needed to go to sleep; I was gonna need it, after all. I tossed on my bed one way and the other, moving over and over in hopes that my mind would outrun the nerves.

"I can't be classified as a disgraceful, I just can't." I thought.

I turned to look at the wall and squeezed my eyes shut. No luck; still awake. I turned one last time and rose from my bed. My eyes had gotten accustomed to the darkness so the clothes that I dropped last night determined to get a good night's sleep were not a problem for me to reach the toilet.

I squinted as the bathroom's light attacked my eyes just as I expected. I leaned on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. "Is it the cold?" I asked myself, noticing the trembling that my hands had despite holding onto the sink, "Well, partially."

I am rather thin and don't have much muscle, so cold does affect me easily, but the anxiety was clearly the real culprit. I took a step back and breathed deep. My eyes fixated on the loose fitting boxers that I asked my mom to buy.

I had told myself that I wouldn't think of this, that today is not the day to doubt. My hands betrayed me, they felt it far too easy to slide their thumbs beneath the elastic and I saw as they lowered the cloth torturously slowly. I knew what I was doing, I did it every morning: I lowered my boxers in hopes of seeing something different, a miracle or at least a development. Today my chest stung more than usual, though, as I saw what I had seen hundreds of times before.

"You're a small man in a very big world."

It was probably the most hurtful thing I heard from my mom despite the kind sugarcoating of what she actually meant. I relived the experience every morning, sometimes reminded by a one inch softy, sometimes by a 3 inch morning wood.

I shaved it compulsively, I knew that it didn't help but since I had heard that it made it look bigger it became sort of a rite. Feeling the stress build up I grabbed the shaving cream and the razor and got to work. If anything, that did calm my nerves.

"It's okay." I said as I slid the blade on my already smoothed skin. "I know what I'm gonna do, I'm not stupid. I'm just aiming for five inches here, a typical inadequate; no one will suspect a thing."

The whole world is pretty hush-hush about the M-class examination. Those who haven't taken it can't be explained what it is because of the "purity of the test," whatever that means.

My mom has scolded me almost every time I've asked and the one time I asked a professor that I thought was my friend, I got a suspension and a stern talking to from my mother. It was ok though, what little was told to us in our last semester let me know that it just consisted of answering questions, they told us that our privacy would be respected and that we just had to answer truthfully (A bit contradictory if you ask me but I got what they were saying).

If anything, the real question was why do disgraceful men exist at all. I guessed that some guys probably placed high grades on themselves but would be suspect when it was known on Grader that they weren't having sex, but if I registered myself as an inadequate one, I would be just fine.

It all made sense, that's why there are so little disgraceful as well, it's not that men under four inches are that rare, it's that so long as you're not stupid or greedy, nobody needs to know.

I felt my arms relax as I closed my eyes and breathed. I slid my boxers back up without seeing; I didn't need to think about that anymore. "Until the end of the day, William Lowe has a five inch penis, not quite adequate but not disgraceful either." I thought to myself.

Stress built back up after my self-pep talk. It got a bit worse during breakfast with my mom and Luna and a lot worse on the ride there. I fumbled with the door handle and jolted a bit when my mom placed her hand on my thigh.

She gave me a sad smile and told me exactly what I couldn't hear at that moment: "I know that you aren't very gifted sweetheart, and I know that you're afraid. But you just have to tell the truth and whatever comes our way, we'll deal with it together. Okay?"

"Yes, Mom." I answered and turned around hoping to be done with it, but I felt her hand squeeze my thigh once more and turned back to look at her despite myself.

"Promise me you'll tell the truth, sweetie; it's... it's the right thing to do..." Fuck! Why did she have to make everything more difficult?

I lied to her; I had no choice. She's a woman, she might've seen how disgracefuls are treated but she never had to look at her own future when she did. She was gonna get mad at me when I returned with an inadequate M-class but she'd eventually understand; it would be easier for everyone.

I tried to keep my head down while heading to the door to avoid the imposing image of the government hospital; this one being for the processing of males, it was clearly meant to impose.

"Can't miss it: Third floor. Third door to the left. Just knock and they'll tell you what to do." The receptionist said with a smile.

"Thank you, ma'am." I said as I went on my way.

"The staff is kind." I whispered to myself. I wasn't in danger; I just had to answer some questions.

I sat in the waiting room in silence with two others. I had vowed to myself not to look at them and interact as little as possible. The reasoning is simple: They look nervous, I get more nervous. They look more confident, I also get more nervous; it's a lose-lose.

The two others came and sat as I continued to stare at my interlocked fingers. Finally, 10 am came: "Please come to the other room in an orderly fashion and line up."

Was the test gonna be done in a group? Standing? That sucked, it probably meant it was gonna be verbal. They'd use peer pressure to make us be truthful. I was fine though, I had envisioned all possibilities by now.

"Jonathan Adams?"

"Yes, ma'am." Answered the guy next to me.

"Do you solemnly swear by the Femstate and all those who you care for, to answer this examination's questions with the truth and nothing but the truth?" Second time I would lie that day, it seemed.

"Yes, ma'am." He answered.

"Please swear then." She told him. "Oh! Yes. Sorry. I swear." Two others swore and then it came to me.

"I swear." I answered, no voice crack, no nothing. I was killing it.

"Very well. Please follow me." She said after the last one swore.

"No verbal standing exam, after all." I thought.

We entered another room that had five other doors. Kinda weird, but since all men go through this I guessed they had some specialized facilities.

"You're gonna be answering some questions on a computer. No one will be there with you so don't worry about your privacy and just answer truthfully."

Was I dreaming? This felt too good to be true! Nothing quite as unthreatening as an inanimate object. I made an effort to contain my smile of relief, because I was feeling good about myself.

I entered the plain room and sat in front of the computer. It looked more like a small ATM than a computer. It was built into the wall and aside from the simple chair there was nothing in the room. No decor, no windows, nothing. Just a small, dim room--maybe 6' by 6'-- with two doors and the chair and computer. I sat down.

"Please answer the following questions truthfully." I almost snorted as I clicked the "I'll answer with the truth and nothing but the truth." check box.

Did they really think that some pledges to their shitty government was gonna cut it? Nah, they probably just don't care all that much.

"The answers on this test are important to the M-classification process," yada yada. I read through it quickly just to make sure there weren't some sneaky conditions there and finally got to the questions.

Name, age, height, blood type, all the stuff I was told would come came first. I hammered away on the keyboard, ready to be done with this and go home, then came the weird ones.

"What do you see in this picture?"

"A fucking shit stain." I thought to myself. I had to take it seriously, though.

I squinted my eyes a bit and started writing.

"A man on his kn-" oh I see what they're trying to do. Backspace.

"A futuristic fortress from above." It kinda did look like that...

"A peacock." "A snake." I got the hang of it pretty quick, I could tell what they wanted me to answer but they were out of luck.

Then came word associations, they had to be quick. A lot about family, hierarchy, dominance, sex. Why the hell did they need that?

I finally got to the part that no one was willing to talk about but was obvious regardless. "Citizen's History" the computer called the section, it should be called: "Gossip Material."

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Have you ever kissed a girl to whom you felt romantic or sexual attraction?"

"No."

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes."

I didn't like the answers but I had to sell it. Just because they're dumb about their evaluation processes doesn't mean that I can be dumb when I answer them.

They got a bit more hurtful.

"Do you believe you could make a woman happy if she were in a relationship with you."

"If we were in love, yes." The computer accepted complex responses, apparently.

"Do you think you could give satisfactory sexual pleasure to a woman?"

I wasn't gonna be having sex anyways, better go safe.

"No."

Finally I got to the important ones.

"How long is your flaccid penis in inches?"

"Normally 3."

"Is your flaccid penis larger than 2.8 inches?"

"Oh they want precision now, huh?" I thought.

"Yes." I answered.

5 inches for the erect length, 4 for the girth, confirmation, done.

"Please review that all your information is correct. Any false information imputed can result in disciplinary actions or legal consequences."

Jeez, now they were really trying to scare me.

I went through the data. A little typo at the beginning but no other corrections. I wanted to get over this, I was set.

"Thank you for your time." The screen said before it turned dark.

As I was about to get up, a robotic feminine voice filled the room.

"Please proceed to the next room."

That was new, what was the point of that at the end of the test?

I opened the door to the room. It was the same size, just a couple of changes: No computer this time and a fixed, weird looking chair.

"This section of the exam is normal. Rest assured: the chair only serves to analyze your vital signs and other bodily data. It has certain other functions but none of these are used in standard procedures. All examinees go through it just like you will. The chair has been adapted to fit your size. Please make sure that there are no objects or clothing covering your face and roll your sleeves past your elbows if you have any."

I did as told and noticed my arms starting to tremble.

"What is going on now?" I wondered in my mind.

"Please sit with your palms facing down on the armrest, your feet in the feet receptacles and the back of your head in contact with the headrest. If you are confused or the chair is ill fitting, simply say so to receive appropriate aid."

I approached the chair and looked at it. I had never seen anything like it, it looked alien and... comfortable? uncomfortable? I couldn't quite tell. it did seem like everything would sorta fit perfectly but at the same time, that in combination with the back being completely vertical in that position made me anxious.

"Welp, everyone else has to do it and it seems to just check the heart rate or something." I reassured myself in silence while I sat down.

Everything did fit freakishly well. My hands entered their slots palm down and remained slightly curved as if relaxed thanks to the globe-like armrest ends. My feet were placed on the shoe shaped grooves on the floor and my back, perfectly vertical just as I thought, was held straight thanks to the cushioned cavity where my head fit.

"Please confirm that you are appropriately seated."

It was weird to answer a voice that seemed so omniscient, the sound filled the room and I couldn't tell from what direction it came.

"Umm... y-yeah, confirmed." I stammered.

"Please close your eyes and remain still."

I was getting more scared by the second but shut my eyes anyways.

Bzzz, click, clack. What was that? I didn't dare to open my eyes but I could feel the slight pressure on my hands, my wrists, ankles, forehead, not to mention the change in lighting that I felt through my eyelids.

"You may open your eyes." The voice said.

I squinted in reaction to the bright light as I did and was greeted by what seemed to be three small cameras hanging from the ceiling with some articulated mechanical arms that were looking at my face from different angles.

The light was far stronger and I wanted to look around but my head was firmly held in place. I could only see my hands, now buried in the armrest and further secured by some mounted shackles that kept my wrists in place.

What was this? A torture device?

"Examinees may feel stressed by the restraints. Remember to breathe, relax and remember that this stage of the grading process should be short. You simply need to answer some questions."

I did as told. I breathed deep. It was best to just go with the flow; not to draw any unwanted attention.

"What is your full name?"

"Are you kidding me? I already answered!" I screamed inside my head.

"William Lowe."

It was the same basic questions as before. A fucking waste of time! When a new question did come up, though, it was not one that I expected.

"Are you familiar with the term: polygraph test?"

"The what?" I asked reflexively.

"Polygraph test."

"Umm... No."

"Have you ever heard the word: polygraph?"

"I haven't."

I was getting really weirded out. Was I supposed to know this? I couldn't lie about it, what if it asked me what the darn thing is?

"Could you describe what you think a polygraph test is?"

"Umm... A test about... comparing different graphs?"

The computer remained silent for a while.

"Perfect, Mr. Lowe. Do not worry, the polygraph test is something that you are not supposed to know about and, much like all of your other experiences during today's grading process, you are expected to never mention or discuss it again. In your upcoming Grader orientation course, the potential reprimands for doing so will be explained to you."

"Ok..." I answered.

"What did you know about this examination process before today?"

"Umm... Well... Just that you're supposed to answer truthfully and that it will determine what M-class I'm placed in."

This was getting bad. Something told me that lying right now would be far riskier and it seemed like I was gonna be doing it anyway.

"Are you sure that you didn't know anything else?"

"Well... We were told that it was just about questions... That our privacy would be respected or something..."

"Has anyone ever told you or attempted to tell you about the grading process?"

"Uh, no. Not about anything serious at least. Just the stuff about truthfulness and all that."

"Have you ever asked someone about the grader process for classified information while knowing that this was not allowed?"

"No." I answered quickly, the lies had started again.

"Please answer truthfully."

Fuck! they had my history. Fuck that teacher!

"Umm... Sorry, I forgot: I did ask a teacher once. I was suspended for that."

The machine stayed quiet a few seconds too long.

"Mr. Lowe, the device that you are sitting in can detect lies with near perfect certainty. Please refrain from lying as other individuals need to use this device. If you continue to lie or refuse to answer, punishing stimuli might be applied."

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It can detect lies? How did I not know about that? Is that what polygrade test, or whatever, is? Ok. I'd just be truthful so long as the questions weren't about my size. It said near perfect certainty, right? If it asks about my size I'll take my chances. I just need to relax.

"I will restate the question: Have you ever asked someone about the grader process for classified information while knowing that this was not allowed?"

"Y-y-yes..."

I was nervous beyond belief. Was I fucked? Was this it?

"Who did you ask about this?"

"Umm... my mom and a... uhhh... professor at my academy."

"Was it a one time thing?" The robotic voice continued.

"Oh uh. I'm sorry. No. I asked my mom a few times."

"Did she answer about any classified information?"

"No! Umm... No, not at all."

"Did you lie in the previous phase of the exam?"

I was so fucked.

"Ummm, yes... Sorry."

"Did you pledge verbally and digitally to not lie during this grading process?"

So fucked.

"Umm... yes..."

"Did you not understand or was otherwise confused by the promises you made?"

"No. I was not."

The computer paused.

"As you were informed earlier. This part of the process is to be short and the grading in general is to be as non-intrusive as possible. By breaking an official pledge to the Femstate, you have lost these privileges, and the treatment you receive during the rest of this grading will be altered to ensure that you are compliant. Do you understand?"

"...Yes."

"The entire set of questions will be asked once more. To ensure that you do not waste the Femstate's time and resources any longer, any delay in response or detection of lies will be met with punishment stimuli. Do you understand?"

I started to cry.

"Uhh... yes..."

"What is your full name?"

I answered the first questions all the same, interrupted only by occasional sobbing. Then the images came. A visor lowered and locked in front of my eyes and the same pictures showed up.

"What do you see?"

"Uhh... a fortr- AHH!" The first shock to my hands came. "A kneeling man! A kneeling man!"

I kept answering truthfully, the shock was painful and my senses were on 11 from the stress. I noticed my responses were painting a damning picture:

"A man being stepped on..."

"Someone kissing a boot..."

"A mother spanking his son..."

The word associations weren't much better.

During the history most of the answers I gave were the same as before, although when I said that I could make a woman happy, I was shocked and changed my words to a simple "No." But the dreaded moment came not long after.

"What is your erect length?"

"A... a-arround fi-AHHH!" the shock came.

"What is your erect length?"

I couldn't be a disgraceful. I wouldn't!

"It... it's a bit less tha-OOOGH!" The shock was stronger this time.

"What is your erect length?"

"F-four po- AHHH! AHAHNN!" It was seriously painful now, I couldn't think straight.

"What is your erect length?"

"It... i-it... it's 3 inches... AHH! OHHH! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's 2.8! 2.8 inches on a good day I swear!"

After the machine was done, I was trembling aggressively against the restraints. Finally the chair let go of me and I jumped when the voice spoke again.

"Please step into the next chamber."

I didn't want to, I really didn't. But at this point, did I have a choice? Clearly I had no idea of just how bad things could get, and if I had just done as told from the beginning I would've been done with this hell minutes ago.

I fearfully opened the next door to find a shower-sized room with a sort of trash can on the side and a small box above it next to some wall-mounted tool, full-body mirror on the opposite side.

"To assess your case of misbehavior. A human employee will be conducting an extraordinary examination for your grading. Please remove all clothing and place it in the compartment to your left with your other possessions."

I couldn't believe it.

"Umm... I would rather not undre..."

"By breaking official vows to the Femstate, you have committed a punishable offense and forfeited your right to bodily privacy. Please remove all clothing and place it on the left locker."