All Comments on 'Graduation Trip'

Superb, well written story that held my interest throughout. Thank you

I though it was well written. I am looking forward to reading more of your work. And, possibly more on the adventures of Lauren and Mark.

Great story. Very well written, describes the beauty of the parks that most people (non hikers) never get to experience. Get busy & do some more writing. Best story I've read in a long time!

Your story was extremely well-written, and your main character was well fleshed-out. I'm very similar to Lauren... it almost felt like the story could have been written about me! Great read with a nice build up and naturally developing romance.

The IDEA of this story is great but honestly it just sucked. It's a generic story. The characters barely had any personality, let alone a face. IE is Lauren's face round? Thin? Slightly baby-faced? breast size? What about Matt? Chiseled/sculpted like face? Height? Etc. Ther words "I" and "me" are much too frequent. Also there's not nearly enough dialogue. What little dialogue there is is frankly cheesy and... Well lame. Who seriously talks like that consistently? There should've been more descriptions and conversations about their lives, not "we talked about this and that" and that literally being it. Also, the the moon phases really bothered me. You're not ever going to see 3 different phases of the moon in one week. Another thing that was extremely unrealistic was sex so much while being hot, sweaty and gross. Not only would there be a TON of chaffing, there would also be unpleasant, burning to the touch, rashes. Yet another thing, Laruen is so concerned about Matt having a clean shaved face (which by the way facial hair would have to be shaven more than a couple times a week to avoid stubble) never once does the story mention that she shaves herself. And where is the romance??? A fire, cuddling and wine does not make this a romance novel. To be completely honest it seems like this story was written by a teenager that's in 8th or 9th grade. I don't understand how this story has such good reviews and high rating. Not a good read. It was definitely hard to finish. Next story make it more real and personable.

It wasn't the best and it wasn't the worst....

And it certainly shouldn't have been in the romance category; as there wasn't any. If Lauren does eventually fall in love, she'll realize her fuckfest with Matt has cheapened it immensely and what she did with him should have been reserved for the love of her life.

I thought the story was well written as far as the writing goes. The problem I have is that about half way through, it becomes repetitious and therefore uninteresting. Reflecting back on the whole of the story, it reads more like a travel log. Went hiking, camped, had sex, slept, repeat! At one point you brought up Lauren thinking about having anal sex but nothing happened. Another time was the hotel room with the big tub. How come they didn't use it? For me this story was not up to the standard you set in your other 2 submissions. And finally, unlike your story about Karen and Erik, this story leaves me hanging as to how things proceed once they get to OSU. Unless you are planning on writing a sequel.

commenters are tough. I've been to all the national parks but Glacier and enjoyed reliving the parks through your descriptions. Your opinions I found agreed with mine. Grand Teton is, I think, my favorite. I enjoyed the story. Found the sex to be necessary especially as they were both 18 years old and exploring their first serious relationships. Yes some parts were a bit repetitive. And I don't recall them doing laundry for such a long trip. So what. I enjoyed the story. Thank you.

But a long story just to be an "Erotic Coupling" story. Romance, not so much...

It needs another chapter to be the romance it promises. They don't need to try other people to see for sure. Janet your writing is much better than just leaving it to our imaginations of how things will go...

Agree with Dragonfire.

I would love to read a follow up story to see if this grows into love. Based on the start, I hope it does. You have a real talent for writing characters that feel totally real!