All Comments on 'Grave Conversation'

Very good writing indeed. Thank you.

one night

for you to turn a legend into a cuck

Baby steps!

4

You can write.

Wouldn't mind a follow up.

For me the writing was 5 stars.

I felt like an eavesdropper. Damn, you're good!

I liked the story, sad that theres no first part because its quite obvious in reading that theres context missing, but you've done a solid job trying to make it a one off. not a fan of race shit in my stories though, like all black men talk like possessive assholes. It's cheap heat. low hanging fruit.

The story -- "'I kind of thought with you cutting me off and the tattoo that you'd stay with him.'

'Did you think I was going to leave you?'

Terry nodded. 'You had his tattoo on you. You weren't having sex with me. I saw the pictures of him,... I couldn't compete... He was younger...a lot fitter...he had money. He had me in every way...every conversation with you...I thought each one was...you...leaving me.' -- [Which is exactly what would have happened had Terry not had an intervention with Darius and Marcus]

'Terry, I... I'm...'

'Sorry? Yeah,...'

'I never thought...that must have been horrible. I loved you, I really, really did. I know I didn't behave like it, but I loved you. -- [She keeps saying she loved him, why did her actions show everything except love?]

I wanted both of you. I knew you wouldn't share me, that's why it was hidden from you. But never, never did I want to end what we had for him.'

'Then why?'

'Why? Because I could...I had the best of both worlds. I didn't think you'd catch on. -- [Typical, Antoinette Syndrome, She wanted her cake...cheesecake, beefcake, sweet cake...and to eat it too] [Dawn is trash, simply put]

Pt3?

After the 'spicy' first chapter, this one was a bit anticlimactic.

I found it hard to believe that he'd take up spiritualism and be so forgiving to the wife after she betrayed him so badly.

Her cutting off Terry and getting a queen of spades tattoo wasn't just "a game". It was all intended as massive disrespect towards her cuckolded husband. A tattoo is permanent... her excuse that this was just a temporary fling is bullshit. I just don't see any man ever forgiving the wife and daughter after what they did.

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A far better ending would've been him moving to the far East, meeting some local girl, and starting a new family with all the marital assets he took with him. Nothing says fuck you to a wayward wife and a daughter that encouraged her infidelity, than simply replacing them with a younger woman and starting a new family.

The best way to end a fiery BtB story is with happiness and prosperity for the betrayed husband, not him living a life of self-flagellation and forgiving the unfaithful wife. Forgiveness makes the revenge totally pointless.

Let me see if I have this right. His daughter sets up a date For his wife the daughter's mother Which becomes a prolonged affair.. The wife decides to cut off her husband completely sexually and get his tattoo very close to her pussy.....

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And Somehow the wife or ex wife was stunned and doesn't understand why her husband would leave and thought that she wanted out of the marriage?

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The husband should have killed her too.

Took a while to make the connection to the other story, but it works that the reader has to realise the connection rather than have it spoon fed to them.

Quality of the writing is awesome ... very precise and on a high level. I would bet that it would read on a college level. However, the story just didn't compare to your first. Not sure why. Gave you a 3. I had given you a 5 on your first story. Please keep writing though.

I remember reading the first part. Brutal but reflective of what most men would want to do faced with that situation. Unfortunate they’ve taken it down.

Can’t wait for your next story. You’ve got a lot of potential and love your character building. Well done, 5 stars for what it’s worth.

I remember the first part, it was well written, brutal and original, and therefor a good story. This one, while still being well written, is nothing but a cliché LW reconciliation. What Dawn and Ruthie did to Terry was extreme and yet the author goes with the "I still really, really, really loved you" plot... love is in the actions you take not in that words you say. I wish LW authors would take that more into account eventhough it would probably be more of a challange story wise. And who is the father of Ruthies children? :)

I remember the first story, but it wasn't until halfway through that I realized what this was a second part to. I'm jot a big fan of over the top violence in LE stories, but by the end of the first part, I had no problem with how he dealt with those who stole his life from him...i couldn't do that, but I understand how someone could. I'll also admit that I was cheering him at the end because of who the men turned out to be - well, at least Darius. Just the way he spoke about how he ripped a man's world apart and saw it as a conquest - a game.

Anyway, this did a very good job of tying a lot of things up 10 years down the road, though I'd love to hear what was in the letter his mom left, and I'd love to hear the conversation between him and his daughter (not so much Marcel, though I guess he wasn't the jackass that Darius was, so maybe there was something there that made him at least human). I know others will have a problem that he could actually speak with his wife with anything other than anger (gasp!), but real life does not always mean you're a wimp or cuck just because you can't help loving someone, even when you can't stand them anymore, or that you can't let the anger go and find s way back to civil communication a decade down the road. The bitches that never regret what they've done? Burn them right out of your life, but the ones who get it and are suffering because of selfish choices they made? Forgiveness is a real thing that happens over the years.

Pretty good. Wonder why the first part got axed. D

Wow, much anger in him the B t B & B is strong in this one.

I remember reading the first story. However, after reading this part I would really like to read the first part again. Is it possible to read it somewhere else or get it by mail?

I read the previous story, must've been before it was taken down, and I liked it. Sure it was gore and very dark, but I had several good laughs about it. This, not so much. The ex wife doesn't really feel bad about what she did, since she's happily talks about how different it was, she's just sorry about the aftermath. The guy does feel bad about a lot of things he shouldn't be, he wasn't in the wrong at all. Especially the pandering about Marcel's club fans was a wtf, how the fuck he know he'd be their Ronaldo or whatever. That's not how football works, many so called young talents goes down the drain after a season or two. Also not sure why he needs to feel the punishment, sure being alive in the lifestyle is good, but the repentance? Those mofos and the women caused it to themselves, it's basically karma. He shouldn't feel bad for the ex or the daughter at all, they were asking for the situation with how they acted, hence why I don't like the tone of this story and can't really see a need for this kind of follow up.

I have a feeling the first one is the better story. Seems to have all the elements. Honestly not knowing the set up to this leaves it kind of wanting.

Well done. I remember reading your earlier story before LE pulled it. To say it was a BTB is an understatement but it was also well written. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your offerings.

Excellent part two. I was disappointed to see that the story before this was removed. If he has grandchildren then there is a follow up there. Hope to see more from you soon.

She doesn’t deserve his forgiveness and kindness. One night is all she needs to get her revenge. Don’t fall for it. I am curious about the grandkids. His daughter must be doing to Marcel what her mother did. Marcel deserves it but no child should live in this horrible family.

Quite a story, deep and sad. I will revisit it down the road. 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

Why do I think this conversation is so unecessary that it did injustice to the original story man, really borderline boring but I did manage to stay awake and finished it The mercenary former Special forces killer you managed to portray here as a wimpy SIMP . Though the couple's conversation was well-thought of and well-written but this not the kind of conversation the couple should be doing. The MC just feels so wimpy in here that I felt so disconnect with the first story. Nope the writer didn't do a good job connecting the story with the original

"You only had a part to play in what happened. We all had our own parts."

I call bullshit, and stopped reading there. ONE person made a promise. ONE person broke that promise.

I hate these "Oh, it was my fault too" crap stories. Behavior that can be measured is what counts. Especially when one is a faithless piece of shite.

Starts OK, ends miserably

I never like when the cheated on party takes responsibility, or shares responsibility. I guess his being a monk for awhile is how you got him to that point so I get it. I don't like him thinking about talking to his daughter. That would be for her benefit and not his. Lastly, why would she say the gap between him and his lover was so close? Say nothing or lie. Telling him the guy was great and passionate just rubs salt in the old wound. I like he got his physical revenge on the lovers but would have been a better BTB if he took this opportunity to tell her he hates her and is even thinking of getting back to her again for more revenge.

I liked it.

I was lucky enough to have read the first story which I really liked as well.

Took me a bit to make the connection. Wasn't until you mentioned a Florida resort that the light bulb went off.

But in the first part Terey acquires quite a bit of money. In this part he seems to be poor.

Interesting take on the aftermath of cheating and betrayal. Still, part of me says the wife and daughter have not truly suffered for their actions. What they did to their husband/father was just an evil game. He's a fool if he allows himself to be hurt again.

That's one fucked up family, but the writing's good. Feels strange having him be so blasé about such intense events, but I guess all the travelling and soul-searching must have had him finding enlightenment about how insignificant all those things are in the cosmic equation.

Excellent 5*

This notion that she "still loved her husband" is preposterous. Your theory about favorite toys and breaking them as punishment is quite interesting but for some reason you failed to grasp who the toy was. Darius wasn't the toy. Her husband was the toy. She kept her husband around, manipulated him, emasculated him, tortured and abused him emotionally, because SHE and DARIUS got off on it. That's not love or respect. It's cruelty and treachery.

This is a cute little fantasy conversation and pseudo reconciliation here but it's backwards as hell and not even remotely believable. The wife may love him again NOW, but one doesn't torture their spouse and love and respect them. Any therapist worth a damn, would question a patients claims of love and respect during that period. The question is why she lost those feelings, became so narcissistic and self serving to the point that compassion and empathy were eliminated. Why she felt joy at the destruction of someone she claimed to love when all evidence is to the contrary. It's far more reasonable that her revisionist views are attempts to appease her guilt and shame.

Further, how can you write that the wife wanted to keep her affair a secret when she cut her husband off for one, and more importantly got a tattoo as well. The tattoo was an obvious visible sign of the contempt she felt for her husband and their marriage.

It's astounding that you do not seem to understand your own characters. If these are human beings then they need to represent human beings and all the emotions, motivations and ideals that comes with being human.

Ultimately, your story lacks verisimilitude.

Roundabout, but intriguing.

A 4*. I would have given a 5* but I will discount any celebration of physical violence or burning down homes. Otherwise a truly different and and well-written story.

I read part 1 while it was still up. I remember it was the most brutal, violent story I had ever read on Literotica. That is not a condemnation, just a statement of fact. I am still not sure how I feel about that story and I am of two minds about this one. I can’t decide if it makes sense given the brutality of part 1. Will there be a call to Ruthie?

I was part way, I think, through reading the other story when it was pulled. I didn't recognize that this was connected to that until the reminder of the spa, and the brutality "the cable guy" (as I recall) performed. I do distinctly remember Terry bought the spa passes to lure the women away. I was able to read until I needed the next page, and then it was missing as if it had never existed, though I thought the tale nearly done.

The first was way the heck over the top BTBs. Perhaps the story before that interlude (Dawn's fall from grace) may be possible, even if the missing tale is never posted again?

I remember the story which preceded this and can't say I am surprised it was removed, although I think many of us would have sympathised with the vengeful husband if he had been less of a psychopath. In light of what I remember, I find this sequel implausible. To go from that sort of burning rage to forgiveness and to shouldering some of the blame for her betrayal is too much, Buddhist monastery or not. And where was her professed love for him when she was having the time of her life with her lover and playing cruel games with her husband? Just too big a turnaround. Which is not to say I didn't enjoy the attempt. Thank you.

"Any mistakes are mine and I own them, view them as character tics that make me unique and special." - I assume you're being at least slightly sarcastic, but mistakes don't make you "unique and special," they can make your story unreadable.

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"without seemingly wrecking any substantial change upon it." - For this usage, you'd want "wreaking."

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I think he's being too hard on himself. If he has to be with her to keep her from cheating, what kind of a marriage did they have?

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"I could have done things to change our relationship so that you wouldn't have wanted to look outside our marriage for excitement." - Bullshit! That's a cheating wife's excuse. Did she ever complain that their marriage wasn't exciting? Did she ever do something (other than cheating!} to make their marriage more exciting?

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"Because I could, because I wanted to. I loved that he desired me." - Nothing to do with Terry!

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"He just did the easy bit and like I said, the gap between him and you wasn't that big at all." - Then it still comes down to "Why?" She had a loving husband who does it all, and she gives it up (even if she didn't think she was giving it up, she still had to know that there was that risk) for something that wasn't qualitavely better, just "different."

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"You had his tattoo on you." - That's more than "a bit of fun!"

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"Black men speak differently to women." - That's simply a stereotype. I've known several Black and mixed-race couples, and the Black men don't treat their wives any different than the white men. Maybe it's different in the Hood.

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"It was me that asked." -- As he said, Ruthie didn't have to agree! She SHOULD have stood up for her father, told her mother to get her head out of her ass.

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"They want to make things right." - How the fuck can that be done?

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"You really did cut their testicles out?" - She didn't see when she went to the room, or found out at the hospital?

I was fascinated by this story and the way you chose to write it. The French Exit was the best thing I'd read in a long time. In many respects this was even better to me. It is very exciting to see a new writer with your talent. The only other this to say is 'please wrote faster'. Five unfaltering stars.

Tremendous second part to the story (glad i got the chance to read part one before it was removed), powerful and beautifully written.

It actually took me 2/3 into tne story before I remember the first part that was pulled. Glad I read that before it was. Yeah…very over the top violence…but not, IMHO, worthy of censorship given what else gets published here.

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This story was a masterpiece. Again, with the previous story in mind, you did a fantastic job of making it standalone to compensate for the removal of part one. And this was one of the best conversation driven stories ever posted here.

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Ten years and more or less buying into a lifestyle of reflection and even asceticism seems to have allowed the MC to recapture some humanity. Not sure if the time passing has helped the slut, however. Maybe.

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You have given yourself an opportunity to explore some sort of rapprochement with his daughter…and I hope you try — even as difficult it will be to do a good job. But as this chapter evidences, you DO have the talent.

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Easy 5 *****

I'm pretty sure I read the first story and remember it well. I thought it was an excellent burn the bastards story. I'm guessing it got posted and then removed when some of the wimpy cucks/liberals on here whined and flagged it because they got their panties in a wad because of the violence. Yet rape and domestic abuse/violence runs rampant in many stories. I'm guessing the racial aspect of the first story was also part of the reason it got deleted. Can't have that in the glorious hall of Literotica now can we??

I'm kind of meh on this chapter. Number one I would have walked away as soon as Dawn showed up at the grave and I sure as hell wouldn't have anything to do with the bitch daughter and her bastard husband. The ending completely lost me when he is thinking about fucking Dawn and even thinking about talking to the daughter. No way in hell!!

What happened to the first story. I remember reading it I thought on here?? Terry needs to get as far away from Dawn and her bitch daughter as possible again. Even the thought of him getting back together with Dawn or the daughter is absolutely nuts to me. What they did to him was pure evil. He should have permanently maimed not just the two bastards but Dawn and the daughter too.

Terry has become one of my favorite characters of all time. Not so much as a man of principle but as a survivor doing what has to be done and living the life dealt to him in the best way possible... his way. And yes, I have read every Jack Reached novel. I guess both thanks and shame go to Literotica's editors. Thanks because this story would not have been written had they not axed your other one. Shame for axing your other one because I've read all and more of the alleged atrocities in other stories on this site. Torture, branding, deballing cutting off penis ', all old news per re. Your mistake was probably making the two characters black

Very interesting story. New creative approach in describing what happened in the past. Well done. I wonder what will happen in the future, how Ruthie got kids, etc. Maybe Solomon else will write a sequel and fill in some of the details.

A powerful and thought-provoking sequel to the now-disappeared predecessor story, which I remember quite well. (Presumably it was taken down because it was quite staggeringly violent.) It's a shame not to be able to go back to re-read the first part, since this one so clearly follows up on it.

But, as before, your writing is just wonderful--clear and imaginative, and it leaves spaces in between for the reader to think. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thanks, ohio

Pretty heavy and good story.. Hope there's another chapter..

Post your stories to StoriesOnLine. They're not the pussies Lit is.

I liked it. Read the 1st story. And it was damn brutal. Her betrayal had turned him...into something almost inhuman. Sociopathic.

It appears that 10 to 12 years since...he's tried to find his humanity again.

They've both paid.

It took me a ways into the story before I remembered reading the first part. Yes it was an over the top revenge tale but you should have left it up. The one part of that story I found most disturbing was the anal rape. It needed a little backstory also, but it was still good. You might consider re-posting it and make it the prologue for this one. Own you body of work.

I liked this story and gave it 5 stars. You introduced enough of the details for the reader to understand what happened but the other story makes it better.

Good yarn! It's unfortunate not to be able to go back and re-read the first story. :(

Can't conceive of ANYTHING his daughter and her lover would have to say that would help him with his pain. Talk about betrayal of the worst kind. Daughter's betrayal WAS worse than the wife's.

I think I understand why the first submission was pulled. I remember reading it and thought it pretty excessive. So, was that having your reader go through hell in the best Sufi tradition or is that St John? It’s time to take a trip through Purgatory? Because there is hope here as well as guilt, so perhaps we are still circling the deepest ice ridden plane of hell? But I am an optimist and penance can take a lifetime or an eternity, especially with the hope of redemption as yet unrealized. I appreciate the self-referential nature of the submission and that it is part two. The thing is that there is a part three and a part four, perhaps.

I read the first part some time ago on LW. Absolute theatre the way he dealt with the two lover boys. This sequel brings an added dimension to a five star story.

Please don't do a chapter 3 where they all kiss and make up. Only reason for a chapter 3 is to finish Marcel off which he should have done the first time.

Is the first story/part available anywhere? Title?

Glad to see there was one man left in Britain who was willing to take the 'bull' by the 'horns' and make a bum steer of him!

Despite your best efforts, this one didn't really work as a stand alone. However, I was lucky to have read the first part and so I enjoyed this piece. I'm a bit curious why they initially posted the first story and then took it down. If I suspect, it was a combination of the level of retribution and that you mixed in some racial tropes that drew their, or someone's, ire. I'd really enjoy the final chapter to the tale, it's clear it's needed. 4*

I, too, remember the first story, it was racist torture mutilation shit, and deserved to be taken down. You had the character tazing black men, repeatedly, breaking their legs, sodomizing them, branding them, cutting off their dicks and nuts and putting out a cigarette in one man's eye. Yeah, great stuff. One star for this and everything else you post here, racist scum.

I remember the first part, and though I was shocked, I’ve encountered much more graphic violence from mainstream literature - Nobel Prize winners even - especially! More importantly, it was well written and, although cringeworthy, still enjoyable to read. I’m saddened by the seemingly random and thinly justified justifications for censorship.

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Based on the first part, I’m surprised by the civility of this conversation between Terry and Dawn. Terry’s tone here is more reminiscent of the words and actions of Sal Calzone of your ‘The French Exit’. Makes me curious what the conversation with Ruthie and Marcel would look/sound like!?! I’m thinking 4th of July, or perhaps Guy Fawkes Night on the eastern shores of the pond.

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I enjoy your writing. Thanks for sharing.

Unfortunately, I did not get to read the first part. The story could have been good if it had been in context. Almost everything was pointing back to an event which had us just guessing at what occurred. It left the story as a disjointed mishmash a memories to which the reader was not privy.

So, to the the author, find out what caused the offense for the story to be removed and please repost.

She not only committed adultery but she was cruel and disrespectful with the tattoo and cutting him off from vaginal sex. Her, Ruthie, Darius and Marcel all conspired to treat him with utter contempt and mockery. He was the source of much ribald amusement. His violent reaction was obviously over the top, but so is the idea of any possible reconciliation with Dawn or Ruthie. No forgiveness here.

I agree with you that this story doesn't need the first one to work, and indeed I like this one without the other, as the removed story was so brutal and over the top that the violence really overshadowed the characters. Having all that happened be in the past and off stage works a lot better, as far as I'm concerned.

That said, Dawn's assertion that it was just a game and that she didn't understand how it would affect Terry rings pretty hollow.

I remember the first one. Brutal and dark but yet so fitting with the mindset of the hubby at the time. Im glad you wrote a follow up. Im very curious about the moms letter and what the daughter has to say.

Desperately needs a follow up. Never saw the 1st story. Holding my breath.

"I own my involvement. I own that I could have done things to change our relationship so that you wouldn't have wanted to look outside our marriage for excitement. "

A cheater owns their own actions. It's not the spouse's fault they cheated. This is the kind of bullshit so-called councilors like to spout off about. You know spreading the blame around. Also, call victim blaming...you must have some done something to drive them to cheat. If you'd been a better spouse they'd never cheat on you in the first place. yada yada yada! Cheaters cheat because of the selfish entitlement.

I remember the other story, Uber dark, but a great insight to the rage that he was feeling. Can’t say the assholes didn’t deserve it, but it was way over the top.

Didn’t like him trying to take “equal” blame for her selfish indulgences and his daughter’s betrayal is unforgivable. Dawn was a heartless cunt. She enjoyed fucking with his head and let the asshole brand her, all the while claiming she “loved” him - fuck her. Oh well I guess he does, but I think that is stupid.

Very well written, hope to see lots more from you.

Interesting and well done. I understand the idea of the reader gradually piecing together the backstory from a conversation in the present. However, for too much of the story I felt like I was too much in the dark, and even at the end I felt like there were too many things I didn’t understand.

WTF?? Does Terry now dementia?? That's the only way I could figure out how he could remotely be civil with Dawn and much less think about talking to his bitch daughter after the vile thing they did to him. Stop before you turn him into a wimp.

This was perhaps better not getting to read the first half of the story that ended up not being published.

You have a great story telling ability. The pace at which you reveal the past, details, emotions, is a talent almost never displayed in the website.

Thanks for the great read and I hope to read many more in the future!

5 stars from me. Seems to be general agreement that it was extremely well written. But some disagreement on the plot or more specifically Terry’s mindset and responses. I thought they were the interactions of two people who have known each other very well for a very long time. If you haven’t been with someone for decades you don’t understand how close that relationship becomes, you almost - almost- become one person. This story reflected that.

I read the first story when it came out.

IT IS GREAT!!! To bad some folks got their feelings hurt reading it. Someday, all the snowflakes will melt and I will dance in their puddles

Cheating sluts don't deserve any mercy. 1 star.

Great follow up. Not sure why they had issues with it. They apparently do not look at non consent reluctance category often. Great follow up took a second to connect. I hope you continue with this one there is a lot of story left.

1st let me say that this author has a real talent. I hope we see more of his works. I'm impressed and I don't impress easy.

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however the ending is unbelievably bad. Specifically the dialog between Between the ex wife and the husband. When you show a series of horrific psychologically and emotionally destroying and emasculating events that the wife and the daughter did to the husband dad.... It has to generate a certain kind of reaction.

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Of course it's your story and you can do what you want with it but then people are going to take a giant shit on it.

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The mistake this author is making here is this is that In the vast majority of REALISTIC LW stories....The author often has the husband take out his revenge whether it's financial or psychological or physical or physical or emotional on the Wife's boyfriends or lovers.

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But then invariably it turns out at the end of the story that the husband still has some sort of emotional attachment to the Ex wife no matter how extreme and hateful and damaging and cruelShe happens to be.

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That is exactly what you did here. Why would the husband want to see her new tattoo? Or want to have any conversation or hold her hand?

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again speaking from perspective of realism.... If you had a wife who INTENTIONALLY went out of her way to destroy her husband in every possible way... To have her pussy tattoed... Then claims the whole thing was some sort of gag or joke and that she was never really going to leave him.... and Claims to have been shocked or stunned that he actually filed for divorce.....

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Then why would any husband want to have any conversation with her .... or hold her hand or want to see her a new tattoo implying a new level of intimacy or sex? My concern would be that she might poison me or drug me or kidnap me or stab me.....

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Instead you have him professing that he still has some kind attraction to this deranged horrible cunt like bitch.

Very well done sequel to a very well done original. The only thing that I can’t get around is her getting his tat and cutting him off. If she really expected to have both she would have hidden it better.

Than most husbands are in these stories, his daughter had no real respect for him to set his mom oh my gosh. Stupid bitches both of them. Sad tell for him. I would like to see how he confronts his stupid daughter.

Damn better then the first part! Wait to read more of you stories.

Difficult reading because of the content, not the writing. Builds nicely. The wronged husband shows both strength and frailty in dealing with his (ex) wife.

Now here’s a character who knows how provide justice! Brilliant story. If he’d cut her tits off it would be 100%

I liked part one and I like this one even more. 5 stars

Good story,

I would liked to have read the first part. It sees like there is something missing here. I still liked this story.

Thank you and keep writing.

@sbrooks103x,

The questions you ask and sometimes answer them as well would change the story! If you want to change the story ask the author, he may give his blessing.

The way people respond to different things that happen life have to be different. The way they respond may not be how you would respond. It would terrible if they did!

So why not accept a story as written, and be on your merry way.

If you are writing fantasy you succeeded.

Love him?!!! Tattoo and cutting him off from vaginal sex!! And he put up with it. A wimp and a slut and a Judas daughter.

Definitely not any love.

Kept waiting for him to remember the men's punishment and take more on her.

So stupid sometimes and forget to read comments first and save my time

The original story was published to LIT and then removed (by whom I don't know). Very dark, brutal torture and revenge on his wife's paramour and daughters boyfriend. I felt it was over the top, too violent for my taste. Yet, this is a very good story about the wife and husband meeting again.

Looks like we have a few of the pussies that got the first part taken down commenting on this one also. You know what I do when I don't like something?? I move on. You liberal cock suckers should try it sometime.

Interesting follow-up to the first story but you're getting very close to neutering Terry. For god sakes DON'T do another chapter and completely neuter him by having him talk to the shanky daughter and forgive her. Somethings are beyond forgivable and what they did is right there at the top of the list.

Good writing but some really ugly characters.

I read the other story. It was so dark but so human also. This leaves a lot hanging for me. Will there be a follow up?

Absolutely laughed my fucking ass off at this inanity.

You write well but you write some ridiculously dumb shit.

She gets a tattoo and claims how much she loved him and didnt realize what he might think? Seriously? You ARE a fuckign cuck arent you!

Lets also clarify this 'I never stopped loving you. I still haven't. He wasn't a threat to us" Sorry Dipsh*t the tattoo says waaaaay otherwise. Every affair IS a threat, you used the typical cliched cuck writing tropes to the maximum effect on the easy impressed.

Clearly you need to take a class on what love actually is, because nothing I read even comes remotely close to love in this shit storm, other than she loved to fuck him over.

Well written Epic fail.

I had the chance to read the first part before it was removed. Quite brutal, but definitely worth the read. I liked this second chapter. He's moving on, you never really totally move on. I am happy for him, and also am glad she is still beating herself up over it. The daughter is a piece of shit. If I were him I wouldn't call, let her know that her mom spoke to him and asked him to call, but never did.

I read the first part before it was pulled and was hoping for a part 2. Odd that it was pulled after publishing here - thought they screened everything before making public.

I enjoyed it. Would have been good to see happened between him and the daughter.

I remember the first story also. He certainly took care of the cheating bitches lover and the other guy too. After all that, I can’t see even speaking to her again.

I read first chapter before it was removed. This second chapter like the first is very well written. Well written as this stand alone story was it did not capture the rage that drove Terry. And his brutal violence against his wife’s and daughter’s lovers was not conveyed by this story.

I encourage Patrickson to treat us to his next story as soon as possible.

I think this plot has run to completion with no need to submit a next chapter. Well done!

I guess they pulled the first story but I did read it. I considered it one of the finest pieces of literature on this site. I can't possibly imagine what his ex-daughter might have to say to him. Terry might enjoy taunting Marcel about having someone else knock up his wife because he lacks the equipment to get the job done. But there's nothing for Terry with any of these worthless pieces of shit. Wife, daughter or her asshole husband. And why the hell does his mother take in the whore who shit all over her son? That makes no sense.

I remember that story, and the violent treatment the husband meted out to the two men.

I am glad to read a kinder gentler ending to the story, beautifully told.

Thank you for both.

This is a bullshit emotional raac. The solution daughter is married to a dickless eunuch? The first part was published and it was great. This is sappy, feminist nonsense.

Holy hell that was a great story. Absolutely fantastic. Thank you.

Pathetic

Whoa, what a sad tale of pain from a cheating wife, and terrible revenge on her lover. 5 stars to writer good job.6

The story was a good read and made me wonder about the first one. I read a number of comments that suggested the first one was missing from this tale and would be welcomed back with whatever changes were necessary to get it 'approved' The softer part of me would like to see a resolution if not reconciliation as the betrayals and reprisals were harsh and permanent. I can't see any way his daughter could explain her actions but it would be good to hear her try. His 'wife' would have a harder time of it and Ruthie's man would be a sticky situation, but would be interesting with enough skill.

Chapter 1 was classic American; fitting it took place in Florida. Chapter 2 was disappointing British; fitting it took place in a grave yard. His wife and daughter became monsters, sociopaths, but he became a waif, a ghost. In chapter 1 he was the avenging angel of the wife and daughter's destroyed lives. In chapter 2 you make his life poetic, even theological, but no less pathetic. That's British: when you plan revenge dig two graves.

But why? He nutted the assholes, took their money and their dicks, and left his wife and daughter to reap what they had sown. I suppose the cops in Florida might have some interest in him, if he fell into their laps. But how much do the Brits care? Really? He had enough money to recreate himself anywhere in the world, and having the wife and daughter discover that recreation would have been so much more satisfying. I vote for the wife becoming a decomposing alcoholic and the daughter and Marcel minor drug addicts/dealers. And somehow they discover their father/husband with a new wife, new family, new life. I hope someone writes that sequel some day. This one was disappointing. But thanks for the effort.