All Comments on 'Gray Iron'

... and when not to use an inverted comma '? It is used to indicate a missing letter, or letters.

a) Your/you're? - "you're" means "you are"! 'your' means 'belonging to you'.

b) were/we're - "we're" means "we are"! 'were' is the past tense of 'be' - They are/They were!

c) who's/whose? "who's" means "who is"!

Have a read back through this story and see how many times you got it wrong.

But then I'd doubt that you do any proof reading, do you?

Get a Proof Reader to help you and to advise you.

Nicely written, even with the gramatical mistakes. Utterly predictable, but enjoyable. Keep them cumming

MS Tarot what a great story more like it please.

and with body tone cums mental stability. TK U MLJ LV NV

This was a story of victory for Dean over his weight issues and Victoria overcoming being the hardass that she tried to put herself out to be. Great writing!!

To quit your day job! Loved it!

Excellent story! Well done!

Wish this was true of me... No babes at my gym...

An excellent story!

It moved logically and gracefully, language-wise, pushing the plot and characters

along. I tend to miss punctuation errors if the story is good enough, so I must have missed every error in your story.

Whether it was predictable or not, it was really well done. Better than 95% of the stories on this site. Good job.

that it was predictable? It was in the mature section. I would kind of take that as a clue.

Duh?

good story

YOU ARE FREAKING AMAZING!!!

... I often page through most of the climatic sex scenes to get to the story. Yes, I know, this is "Literotica" and what should I expect from stories on this site. (That's my problem, not anyone else's) However, I read every word (some multiple times) of the climatic scene in this story! It became an essential element of the story and not just sex for the sake of sex. Very well done.

JR

This story is so interesting on so many levels. I'd love Chapter 2! One of the best stories I've ever read and I want to channel Dean's motivation and drive! Thank you for the story.....GREAT JOB :)

that is just amazing. Well impressed.

Liked it a lot. A couple of minor typos/proof reading errors - but nothing that detracted terribly from the story. Nice job!

Great story. Love the sensitivity and depth of feeling.

association breeds more closer introspection, TK U MLJ LV NV

Not just this story but all of your stories. You somehow seem able to get into the mind of the characters and express their thoughts and motivations, more than the basic 'I wanna fuck' that most characters on this site have.

Well done.

Loved your story!

liked it

I have always loved older women. Especially the firey kind. You know the type. Won't take guff and won't allow slacking. The ones who know their own minds. The one who when you introduce a paradigm shift theres a brilliant moment of surprise in their eyes, then they mimmedietely adjust. I love women like that. There was good progression in this story, gramatical errors...who cares? Still read read good. Good emotin to the story with enough beleivability that you could imagine something like this actually happening. I like how you showed the main character's maturity grow throw the process o f helping him become more healthy as well.

All said and done...You get a big 5 Gold Star to put on the refrigerator young man! :-)

Sincerely, Payenbrant.

...and a reminder to me to get my ass back in the gym!

...and a reminder to me to get my ass back in the gym!

The writer has never been in a real gym.

The weights in a pro level gym are 45 pounds not 50.

Wow!

"Victoria comes walking out carrying four empty weight bars over her shoulders."

Those weigh 45 pounds, each.

A very yummy story indeed! Well done! Thank you!

It's a nice, mostly well-written story. But one mistake just grates on me whenever I see it. And I saw it at least 4 times. One I could overlook. Threw is the past tense of the verb "to throw", as in "I threw the ball." The word you want is through. As in, "I read through the book."

This was absolutely fantastic read. I love it.

One of the best female bodybuilder stories. Thanks. Would love to read more.

Thank you for this wonderful story. It was fun, very engaging, and yes erotic. Gyms have been a part of my life for decades. Dean & Victoria are very accurate representations of the best kind of gym rat.

Thanks for a great story

Since you mentioned her, A search on the Lit site couldn't locate Muscle Girl, or her story you referenced. This was probably my fifth read of this great story.

Love the story. I think it is great. AAAAAA++++++