Green Bean 01

Green Bean 01

Hello. I'm not happy about being known as Green Bean, but apparently, I don't have a say in the matter. So, all I'm going to say is that it can't be because I'm cut short like a green bean and with a bump in the middle or anything. Now, if there were a veggie with a pleasingly plump middle section, well, that might be a good veggie nickname for me.

Anyways, I actually enjoy dressing as the other gender and I really like the way my pleasing plump area fills out Denim, but I'm a traditional fem boy beyond that. I mean, I make the expected efforts with my attitude and I will act the part, but I'm not in it to be a girlfriend or a boyfriend. LOL, I'm in because if you're going to have a (pleasingly plumb) fat round ass like mine, you might as well highlight it in tight fitting Denim. Or stretch thin cotton to its maximum breaking point, LOL.

I'm also fortunate to have a forgiving and understanding roomie, Randi, and a nerd crew who are a little confused sometimes. Willis and Freddy like to think of me as their "female" nerd crew member, but I assure that I am not. Well, I am I suppose, but just as another nerd on the couch, who wears tight shorts and a ponytail. And makeup, but that's it, I swear. Well, except for Jacob, but that's for later.

Anyways, because I do have a real female for a roomie, LOL, I'm the king and it's always good to be the king because I have the power to keep them at bay. I mean, my nerds versus my roomie and her friends always ends up as a, well, an uncomfortable nerd staring contest, so I mostly keep them at an arm's length from my house. And by that, I mean by at least three blocks length.

Now, the beauty of all this has been a comfortable living arrangement that's almost hassle free and the world keeps rotating from day to night and back to day.

So, now that I have given you a little background, let me just finish up with Jacob. I'm not saying that he is my favorite and that I'm his favorite, but it seems that after so long, that's what we have become. And I'm not even sure how it all started, but I'm sure that using Jacob as my "judge" when I first started to cross dress had something to do with it. We don't do much and we've never been naked together, but we do, ah, roll around a lot and I have figured out which loose fitting shorts suit his needs, just the same as he has figured out how to let himself slip out and find the leg hemline of my shorts. I mean, I know it's not totally innocent, but we're quiet about it and the world keeps turning from day to night and back to day. But never naked, mind you. It's just, um, practice. And maybe practice does make perfect because I have learned how to keep perfect rhythm with his humping efforts. And Jacob usually ends up with a result, but that's all I have to say about that.

So, where does my story actually start? This past July, of course. Randi the roomie had graduated her Bachelors program in just three years, so we had a celebration party at the house for her. It wasn't a large party, but it was just enough to fill the house and keep her in the spotlight, which she deserved.

Which also isn't much of a story, but then came her friend Miranda, who had me man the vodka shot station (LOL, the Breakfast Bar), gave me a Molly (LOL, a chunk, like less than a half) and, well, shots of sparkling vodka all in a line that looked awfully tempting, so I stepped outside of myself and had a few shots.

Which actually means my story begins the following morning because much of the party was a blur, LOL, a blur with a headache, a sore jaw from Molly babbling and rubber legs because Molly gives you energy that you don't really have. LOL, energy that you do have during the party, but not so much the next day.

And as my famous last words, pick one or the other, folks. I mean, Molly is cool and vodka is cool but together, wow, I hope you have a nice comfortable bed to lay in for a while. LOL, which I do.

And when Randi the roomie came a knocking on my bedroom door, I was afraid that she was going to say something about my nerd crew attending her party and embarrassing literally everyone, so I was timid about responding to Randi.

"Roomie, are you awake? Are you alright? Green Bean???? Green Bean, answer me this instant or I'm opening your bedroom door!"

"Go away, Randi. Unless you have some aspirins."

"Well, I'm just worried about you, that's all. And I do have aspirins for you. I also made you a coffee and ran out to buy you a couple of donuts, so I'm coming inside, alright Green Bean?"

"Go away, Randi. Unless you bought me some sprinkle donuts."

"LOL, I bought the hungover fem boy special, so I have two sprinkle donuts for you, so I'm coming in."

I mean, the fem boy special, right? Who was I to deny that, right? I mean, I could take a little heat from Randi for my nerd crew gawking the night before in exchange for a couple of sprinkle donuts, right?

"The door is unlocked, I think."

"Well, can you check around inside of your bed first for dead bodies, Green Bean?"

"Ugh, Miranda poked me in the eye with her big toe on her way to use my shower, so there are no dead bodies are in my bed."

Yeah, Randi's friend Miranda crashes here once in a while and Randi wasn't going to let her drive home after the party. Or go home with Bruce, apparently. And yeah, she complains about my couch hurting her back in, LOL, "that room that I call a game room", which it totally is a game room. I mean, it's totally a game room.

"There, there, Green Bean, your head will feel better in a few hours. So, go ahead, yum, yum, yum, sprinkle donuts in your tum. Anyways Green Bean, I'm sure you figured out that I slipped Miranda a few $20's to babysit, I mean watch over you last night so I could enjoy myself."

"Oh, then you should ask for a refund because I'm somehow in my jammies and not in my shorts, so someone wasn't watching the store very well."

"Oh, that was probably Miranda, but you know she doesn't care about that stuff. Anyways, this is a little weird, but we have been talking for ten minutes now and you, um, you haven't moaned about any, um, about any discomfort back there, so everything is cool, right? And by the way, are you and your freaky little friend Jacob closer than I thought? Also, what, are your other two nerd friends like stone statues?"

"Randi, Jacob and I have known each other for quite a while, so we are close, but not that way. And if your spy Miranda says otherwise, well, she was on a whole Molly, so."

"Take it easy, Green Bean and finish your last sprinkle yum, yum donut. However, since you brought it up, um, what, he likes things different? And you like to keep rhythm and all? I mean, not that I care or anything, but before the other two stone statues hauled Jacob out of here, um, well, there were a few undocumented moments in your bedroom alone with him and all. Because Miranda is a lousy baby sitter when she takes the Molly."

"Ugh, now I'm about to complain about the discomfort with this conversation, but if you leave me alone, I will say that sometimes I wear looser fitting shorts for Jacob and I'm saying no more, so leave me to sleep a little longer. And thanks for the sprinkle donuts. And the coffee. And the aspirins. And take Miranda with you."

"LOL, she's in "next day" Molly mode, so she won't bother you, but don't buy into her story about me taking a job in the big city and moving out now that I graduated. LOL, you're stuck me! Anyways (peck), I'm going shopping with my momma, so you're OK then? Back there? Not that it's any of my business."

Yes folks, I was gong to be fine. As a matter of fact, I planned on signing up for "side kick" lessons that very same day for the next time I had to kick someone out of my bed. LOL, a bed which felt like a million bucks that day.

"Anyways Green Bean, you could do worse than that little freak Jacob and I'm happy to hear that things were under control. Also, um, your stone statue nerd friends got a little attention themselves, in case you wanted to have them over again soon. I mean, teach them how to move their jaw bones up and down, but they should come back over some time and bring Jacob for you, I guess."

There's always a catch, isn't there folks? I mean, during our nerd crew meetings they never shut up, but how to get them to talk to other human beings shouldn't be my job, right?

Anyways folks, like I already said, the most that Jacob and I have ever done as we, um, rolled around wasn't all that much. Jacob just has a fondness for my (not beefy) thighs and then he likes to work himself up under the leg hemline of my shorts and he really likes the way that I keep rhythm with him and I think we both like to, well, moan, but that's all that has ever happened because we..."

"Damn Green Bean, your shower is amazing! Not to mention these towels, right? Anyways, just keep me mind for your next roomie when Randi takes a job in the big city and leaves you living single. And I'm sorry if I toe poked you in the eye this morning, but that damn thing you call a couch in that damn room you claim to be a game room hurts my back. By the way future roomie, ah, you're OK, right?"

At least I had people who were concerned about me, right?

"So, is that what you and that little freak do? I mean, it's none of my business and I didn't text Randi with everything I witnessed, but he absolutely seemed to know what he was doing and well, you were right there in rhythm with him and I promise to not judge in the future. When Randi takes a job in the big city. And leaves the door wide open for me to move in. And what do you do with the mess? Because there was obviously going to be a mess. Not judging, of course, future roomie."

Well, Miranda may have the edge as a candidate for my new roomie if Randi does take a job in the big city because she didn't press me to answer any of those questions. I mean, ugh, Jacob does leave a mess behind, but everyone deals with that, right? It's just part of things, I guess.

And by the way, just so I don't get sold short by what Miranda just said, I think my skills of keeping "rhythm" with Jacob's funky little thigh humping is just as absolutely amazing too. I mean, practice makes perfect and we practice a bit, so I know what I'm doing too! But with shorts on, mind you because we are not the other way. LOL, yet.

"Anyways Green Bean, before I leave for work, well, I know that protecting your pleasingly plumb (fat) ass is important to you, but I think he would be happy to wet hump your plumb lips and I guarantee you that you would find the same rhythm with the bobbing back and forth with your head, I'm just saying, future roomie!"

Stupid other sex positions with other stupid rhythm!

"LOL, and Green Bean, the world will continue to rotate between day and then to night and then back to day and LOL, it's a sure-fire way to, you know, take care of his mess!"

Stupid sex advice from my stupid future roomie! Right?

Anyways, as always, I cleaned up the house and told the nerd crew that they could come by around Noon because they were at a real party where there were real people (girls) and they would die if I didn't let them carry on about things. I mean, they call it a team nerd crew meeting, but I just refer to it as "hurry up before my roomie gets home" meeting.

"Order in the game room, which sucks as a game room, but order anyways. Green Bean, we the nerd crew, minus Jacob, of course, are here in protest. I mean, you're living with female flesh and your roomie has female flesh friends and we are always held back at bay. I mean, Jacob's not, but still, Freddy and I are in protest!"

You know, a swift back handed slap to the groin always helps speed things along, right? And no, I don't have a boyfriend named Jacob the nerd. I already said that we roll around and we all know that boyfriends are allowed to, you know, poke around.

Swoosh, slap.

"Fine, we demand that you figure out how to get some of those girls to submit to us and I'm invoking all known nerd codes! I mean, we were here holding up the wall, so we're popular now and we demand the submission of the babes!"

Swoosh, slap, slap, smack! Smack!

"Or the two of you Willis and yes, I'm keeping Jacob out of this silliness, you and Freddy can continue to have Allison Doll submit to you (smack)."

"Well, Freddy and I tried to gang bang Allison Doll at the same time and we blew her seams out. I mean, plastic blow up dolls versus silicone wives, right? Anyways, we demand some sins of the flesh!"

Pow, pow, gut punch, smack.

"Well, Jacob is spoken for and Casey has an interest in Freddy, so Willis, that leaves you to buy an air mattress repair kit from the hardware store (light whip smack). But if you tag along next Friday when Freddy comes by, dressed nicely, by the way Freddy, well Willis, you might be surprised if you tag along, but do not show up unless I text you with the details. Any questions, Willis?"

"Well, I'm kind of in trance from hearing what you just said, but during the next nerd crew meeting, well, you could slap my groin with an open hand or something."

"Geez, (faggot much?), um, Freddy, what say you? And Casey is cute, by the way."

"Oh, well, I'm all in, but would you mind smacking my butt a few times like my online Mistress Tonya does?"

Not that I could figure out how that works. I mean, does he just back up to laptop screen or what?

"So, guys, is the nerd crew meeting adjourned now? Except for Jacob. Who promised to stay behind and help me re-arrange this whip ass game room into, well, into a real game room, I guess."

And that's how you adjourn a nerd crew meeting. And get one more roll in the hay, by which I mean my bed, I suppose.

End Green Bean 01