Green Rose of the Underground Ch. 10

It was surprising how little time it took for the fresh open air, the wild forest scenery, and the additional company to feel even more claustrophobic than the interior of the carriage. There was nowhere to go, and very little conversation. None that was lengthy or with any meaning. Thix did try to engage Gerard with more lessons on Galtes but he seemed tense and distracted, and soon after she allowed the matter to drop. No wonder Theo had said what he did, fondling Gerard beneath the cover of their shared blanket would have at least passed the time.

The silence forced Thix to pay closer attention to their surroundings. Shafts of sunlight pierced the shaded green canopy, strange and colorful birds flitted between the winding branches and sang pretty songs, and the forest floor was even more lush with thriving plant-life than she had at first thought. It was all very pretty, and that made it worse. There was nothing outwardly threatening. It was simply that... feeling. Something was wrong. Deeply wrong and she did not know what. It was all too unfamiliar to make proper sense of.

For the next several torturous hours Thix fidgeted, occasionally stood and sat back down upon Gerard's lap, and ran over her vocabulary of both Galtes and Ruvic repeatedly in her head. The forest slowly became thicker, and darker as they traveled. It felt like a pressure was building up inside her chest. Greater and greater until she might just about burst.

What was so rotten about this place?

"Gerard?"

"Oui?"

"Please. Please. In the name of whatever gods you worship, and you may tell me about them if you want, just talk to me. I don't like this. Talk about anything. Tell me about Lumis."

"Hmm... I would not want to ruin it for you."

Unable to comfortably twist around Thix scooted forward and leaned her head back to look Gerard in the face, even if upside down.

"I will bite you. Talk."

Gerard squeezed his arm around her reassuringly.

"Alright, but I don't worship gods."

"You don't?!"

"Ssh!" Theo swiveled his head in an almost owl-like manner to glower at the two of them.

She shifted her body around once more, resting her head at the top of Gerard's chest so that she could speak softly but still be heard.

"You do not?"

"No. I have seen enough of life and of people and I think that we are alone, either the gods do not exist or do not care for us. Or maybe the gods are so different from what we believe that worshiping them does not matter."

Well, this was certainly a distraction. Thix had never before encountered anyone who did not in at least some small way acknowledge the gods, regardless of if they were their own or belonged to others.

It was even stranger to think that there were those, one of which was Gerard, who thought they might not even exist at all. They did. They must. How else would all peoples from all places settle on conjuring up stories that aligned so closely and explained so much. Many of which were not only stories, but history. How would anybody, ever, explain magic?

"What gods do you not believe in then?"

Gerard made a soft snorting noise of laughter.

"They have changed names and faces to fit Galtes, but they are the three Ruvic gods, and their... well it is complicated, I will say 'servants'. They are the god of order, the goddess of life, and the god of light, from whose name Lumis is taken. Some places in Galtes still believe in older... spirits? In the lands near the sea, to the north and west. I am sorry Thix, I do not have much knowledge or interest in gods or spirits."

"So, you do not believe me... when I say to you, that you hold my sacred debt for Vorkah?"

She could feel his muscles shifting against her back as Gerard shrugged.

"I believe you, Thix. The rest, I do not know. I will not say that I do know. I could be wrong."

Thix did not exactly like his answer, but it could have been worse. Before she could dwell much further Gerard continued on.

"If we are talking of it. Who is Vorkah? What do goblins believe?"

Thix tried to find the words. It was both simple, and very much not simple.

"A long time ago, we were of a different people. We lived as spirit and flesh. There was a great... argument may be best word. Yes, for now, argument. Many chose to live only as spirits. Some chose to live as flesh, by the light of moon and sun, but their... their wanting was too much and made them wrong. They made big cities and used magic that... that insulted nature. Insulted what they were before.

Then, there was Vorkah and his mate I'shu who had much joy in the being of flesh, but wanted little. They made a home of the earth, and the stone of the great mountains. They had many children. Their many children had many children. In time, when their flesh became old, Vorkah and I'shu taught all of their children how to live in a right way with nature. Then, they answered the song of the deepest dark, and became as spirits again.

They are with us always. It is said, Vorkah and I'shu are sometimes born again and live amongst us for a time. That is why it is very important to... to care for each other. If a goblin hurts or insults another goblin, they may do so to the Mother and Father and that would bring much evil. A great curse. Still, it happens. Much much more than it should."

A thought struck her then, a very troubling thought. One that she'd never had reason to hold before, and now that it was in her mind, she very much wanted it out. Thix was afraid to speak it, but more afraid to carry it unsaid within her being.

"Maybe goblins of other clans do not believe as strong as mine. Maybe they think as you do, and do not believe in Vorkah or I'shu. That they are only stories."

"Maybe."

He spoke idly, without concern. The ease with which the word passed Gerard's lips rattled her.

"That would be very bad! Like not caring for family!"

"I care little for mine, and they do not care for me. Not so bad."

He should not say these things! Should not think them! What must have happened to make him this way? For that matter what must have happened that would make him, or any man, give away the gift of fatherhood? It clawed at her insides that this was certainly not the place to ask. Never was the time right. Thix cast about for some way to move past the subject. Thankfully Gerard must have felt the uncomfortable silence too and sought to fill it.

"What do they teach? Your Vorkah and I'shu? What do they want of their many children?"

She had to consider her answer carefully. She wasn't a shaman, or a chief, and certainly not one of the Deep Thinkers who ventured into the furthest darkness to bring back wisdom to all of their people.

"They teach how to be happy. How to live with balance. Teach what things are bad, evil. Teach that we must make ourselves small."

"Hmm. You have done well on that last part."

"Not like that!"

Thix groaned with a mixture of amusement and frustration.

"Small inside. Not wanting too much. Not be... I do not have the words."

"I understand."

Gerard stroked the top of her head gently, running his slender fingertips through her hair.

"I would like it, if they were with us. If their teachings made you as you are, then they are good enough gods for me."

When Gerard made to take his hand away Thix reached up to grab him by the arm, pulling it back down to her head again.

"Don't stop. Please?"

His chest shook with laughter behind her, and he continued lightly petting her. A bloom of warmth filled Thix's chest and she snuggled into him as closely as she could. Occasionally one of his fingers or his palm would brush against the sensitive base of her ears and she would feel the heat within her bloom outward, and ever lower. It was a sweet torment, the tension mingled with a feeling of security. It lasted, for a little while. Until Thix came to realize how quiet it had become. At some point, the birds had gone silent. The rustling of wind through leaves became only a whisper. There was simply... nothing, and the oppressive silence of the forest filled every moment and every breath.

Thix thought she knew what the falling of the sun and settling of night felt like. She had lived through enough of them. None of them were like this. The sun, in all its merciless rule, might as well have been in another land entirely. There was no shifting of white, to orange, to purple, and onto the deep blue of night. There was just an ever deepening of shadow, until the vibrant greens of the forest faded into a shifting mass of grays and blacks.

Their little caravan stopped long enough to light lamps, before continuing on their way for a while longer. Theo set theirs upon a post that slotted onto the front of the carriage, the metal and glass box swaying. She hated the damned things. The fire made the shadows even blacker. That was the curse of light.

As much as it revealed, it also blinded.

She wondered if they would be traveling through the night, but once they'd found a large enough space in the road from the trees Claude's wagon stopped again and it was made clear they would be making camp. Few enough words were exchanged. Gerard prodded Thix to climb down, and she was glad enough to stretch and work some life back into her little legs. Due to the lamps the darkness between the trees was as absolute as the deepest unlit chambers of her clan's cave, but there was no comfort to be had in that. Thix found herself peering into the unfaltering void, expecting... something. Some motion. Some noise.

It became a welcome distraction when she was put to work gathering all of the tools and canvas necessary for them to later erect their tents. Theo fed, watered, and sought to calm the horses as best he could.

Gerard joined Guy and Claude's three young men gathering stones and wood for a fire. She felt a little ashamed that she hadn't volunteered, given her eyes were better than theirs, but couldn't bring herself to speak up about it.

Claude rolled out more carpets for everyone, the same as he had before, and chatted lightly with the dark-haired Solène and her boy as she sat down. The child fidgeted in the tight grasp his mother had on him, both her arms encircled protectively around his midsection. Thix noted how she humored Claude's conversation, but the stiffness in her body and expression remained.

Clearly, Thix wasn't being as careful as she thought, because the human woman turned her head to meet her eyes. The look of her seared Thix like hot iron. The woman's grip seemed almost to tighten as she drew her boy closer to her, dragging him protesting into her lap. The lamplight made the lines of her face deeper and sharper. No number of words could have more clearly conveyed the suspicion and fear the woman felt towards Thix. Monster. Eater-of-babies.

She quickly broke her staring and shuffled over to stand closer to Theo where he stood idly stroking a hand brush through the manes of the two great beasts that had been their silent and indispensable companions.

Before too long, a central fire was lit, and dinner shared. Thix had never had a bread and cheese soup before, but it was surprisingly good. She made a promise to herself that she would try it again someplace less upsetting so she could better appreciate it. As before, the desire to crawl up into Gerard's lap and hide herself away against him became nigh unbearable the further that dinner went on.

At last, Thix could no more stomach the continuous exchange of unintelligible conversation in Galtes and broke away without a word to assemble the tents herself. Theo was quick to assist her, which she was grateful for, and together they made short work of the task.

"Gerard. I go to bed."

Thix turned back to the fire, and caught a single picture of all the various looks before they slid away from her. Gerard, in his concern. The woman, Solène in her silent and distant mistrust. Her boy, who only glanced out of the corner of his eye, making an act of appearing disinterested. Claude in his unruffled curiosity. That one of the three boring and unremarkable men who Thix realized did a disturbingly good job at being forgotten. Whose dull brown eyes took her in behind a neutral expression on his human face, framed by the brown locks of his hair. While the other two sat, and talked comfortably with each-other, she felt his hungry eyes upon her.

"Oui. Bien. I will come to bed soon."

Quickly. Anxiously. Thix removed her shoes before crawling still clothed into the canvas shelter.

Sleep did not come. Not even when her handsome human man finally joined her. It was still too quiet.

Had they noticed it? The stillness? Not even wind through the trees anymore. Before her closed eyes swam the shadowed trunks and branches of the oddly bent and gnarled trees. The darkness was foul here. A vile scent of the mind. Thix felt that she wanted to weep, and could not understand why. A formless longing so deep it bordered on violent raked its claws through her, leaving her insides raw and cold.

She could almost be back on the rough wood floor of the old man's house in Frankarland. Emptiness. Hopelessness. The slow horror of everything being stripped from her. Until she was no longer anything. No longer a thinking feeling thing. No longer a goblin. No longer Thix. No longer alive. Only one thing had not been stolen from her.

Suddenly she wanted Gerard to take her. For him to lose himself, and go mad with desire. Push her onto her back, or her front, fuck her hard and without mercy. Hard enough to purge her body of its agitation and her mind of its worried thoughts. Painfully if necessary. He would not. Thix knew this with certainty. Not without some encouragement. Not without his word either, but that was a welcome thing.

"Gerard?"

"Oui?"

It shook her, how awake he sounded. Thix thought that surely, he must be on the edge of sleep himself, and was momentarily thrown from the path of her mind.

"Can we... uh... can I..."

Why couldn't she just say what she wanted?! What did she even really want? Thix rested her forehead against Gerard's firm chest, her hands gripped him as tightly as she dared. He began stroking her hair again, and that helped her think. Helped clear away the terrible wrongness. No. She had to ask him first. Had to know what he was feeling, before anything else.

"Is it bad for you too? This place?"

There was a very long moment before he answered, Gerard's hand motionless upon her head.

"Oui."

It was more a sigh, or a gasp, than a word. An exhale ragged with some unknown sorrow. She felt terrible that she asked. She felt relieved she was not alone. It made it easier to endure how absolutely inappropriate and absurd her next request would be.

"Gerard?"

"Mhmm?"

"I want your cock."

"Really? Here? Now?"

Gerard sounded absolutely baffled. Thix almost giggled at that.

"Please. S'il vous plait, Gerard. You need not do a thing, if you do not want. Tell me no. I will not force. Only - I want to - I want to use my mouth, and make you feel good, and fill myself with painful wanting. I want to feel - I want to feel wrong in that good way, because I am maybe a bad goblin who needs your big human cock too much. I want to be... to be drunk with your heat, and taste, and smell. I will beg. If it is what you would like, I will beg and make myself small, though likely not how I'shu intended. I want very much not to think of this cursed place."

Oh no... she'd said too much again. The last silence had felt long, this one was near torture. Finally, Gerard resumed the gentle caressing through her hair, his fingertips drawing lines along the top of her head. Thix took in a sharp breath as he slowly stroked the back of one ear from the base all the way to the tip in a way that made her whole-body shudder.

He did it again, slower, delicately with both thumb and forefinger now. Gerard froze when her ear trembled in his grip, but didn't let go. Her damned ears!

Thix's cheeks grew so warm that she felt them throbbing to the beat of her heart. Once more again, downward until they touched that sensitive spot at the bottom that caused her to whimper.

He muttered something in Galtes that was both too soft and too heated for her to make out. Thix felt the rise of his chest against her face, and the fall as he breathed out slowly.

"Undress."

A rush of heat and energy filled her at the single hoarse word from his lips, and relief and guilt did battle in her heart. She had pushed him to this... Thix had said she would be patient, but it was too difficult and she'd asked even though he'd said he needed time. Those thoughts were driven out of her head as she made to sit up, only to feel Gerard's firm hand slide behind her neck and hold her in place.

"No."

Her mouth felt dry, and Thix's stomach began fluttering in what was becoming a pleasantly familiar way.

It was not easy, wriggling out of the dress while laying on her side. Gerard helped her a little, pulling the fabric up past her head and shoulders. The undergarments came easier. She shimmied and kicked the fine light fabric down past her knees and off her legs, and with them the blade and buckle upon her thigh. With Gerard's helping hand Thix shrugged free of her unclasped brasserie.

"Now. Undress me. Slow. Show me how much you need this."

He still rested his hand upon the back of her neck, but more lightly. The message was clear. Stay close. Keep herself pressed against him. Thix became incredibly aware of her naked body by the touch of the chill night air upon her skin. Even sheltered by their tent, she felt an intense and shameful thrill at it.

Thix gave herself over to his command. Slowly, allowing Gerard to keep his grip upon her, she wriggled lower until her face was level with his stomach. Slow, he'd said. She lifted the hem of his fine shirt higher, higher, until bare skin was exposed. Thix started by planting a reverent kiss right upon the furry trail that led beneath his undergarments. Soon. Not yet. Patiently she went along, rolling the cloth upward as she did, and leaving a zigzagging line of kisses across his abdomen. Then higher. Her lips became wetter, hungrier. Practically attacking the firm muscles of his chest, drawing lines along his skin with her tongue as she gripped his shirt in two tight fists.

Gerard released her so that he could extend his arms upward. Thix made sure to keep her cheek flat against Gerard's warm skin as she awkwardly wriggled against him, pushing the shirt up and over his head. Her chest rose and fell desperately in labored breaths. It had been a warm day and Thix was overwhelmed by the strength of his natural smell, so delicately accented with the light fragrance he wore. She buried her face in the nape of his neck, breathing deep and seized by a strange compulsion began to lick him from the collarbone to the underside of the jaw. Salty, but not only. Mmm... what if she licked him all over? She could bathe him that way. Would he like that? Or think it too strange?

A hunger that had nothing do with her stomach compelled her to nibble him, though Thix took great care to be gentle. Her teeth bracing and sinking slowly into the hot flesh of his shoulder, as her lips pursed around him and applied a moist suction. She felt the sharp heaving of Gerard's chest beneath her as he gasped. She opened her mouth and latched on with her mouth again, upon his upper arm, then across to the side of his chest. His scent was so much stronger here, but she faltered, resisting the urge to bury her nose into his underarm.

His hand was back upon the top of her head. Patiently but insistently urging her downward. It was almost silly, how that was all it took. The anticipation of what was to come sending waves of heat and pleasure radiating out from her lower abdomen and between her legs. Thix clenched her inner thighs together tightly, and became aware how slippery they were from the leaking juices of her sex. The moisture clinging to her skin and increasingly soaking the dark forest between her legs.