All Comments on 'Grieving Time Pt. 07'

I am really enjoying this story and would love for there to be 1, 2, or 10 more chapters. Although more of a rap-up chapter to Just a Jab would be great as well.

I am not bored! I enjoy the thinking of your mind and the talent you write with. You have been thinking of ways to continue this story. I will leave the story line to you as you have done an excellent job so far. I really like the characters and the pace of the story. I will continue to read as you continue to write. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Let it ride, the story is progressing at a very nice pace. Keep it running, it would be a shame to short shank a story before it's time. Not enough authors fully develop and complete their stories, they leave it up to the reader to finish it in their minds. I for one would read each and every chapter, keep up the great writing your doing! Thank you.

You are doing a great job. His sister seems to be able to make things happen I would let her discuss sleeping arrangements. Pregnancy I would not include other than they talk about it and decide what they want to do. Break off the other relationships

There's no need to end a good thing while it's still going.

Still a lot of great story to tell that is worthy of being explored.

Keep up the good work. When you're on a roll, why stop?

Keep going please.

Too many hints to leave us hanging. In my opinion, dump Martin in prison and make him go away :)

Too many unanswered questions.

Definitely be interested in alot more please continue

it would be awesome if he had sex with his sister, finally.

Don't forget Trish said "but you might be surprised at what I'll want from you."

Which leaves a lot of things hanging.

You have enough material for At Least another 7 parts, or more, and some of them would be quite interesting. Esp, dumping Martin for good. And as incest in today’s world is much more acceptable, it would be interesting to see your thoughts on developing this theme. Sexual attitudes are much different as well, today, so FWBs and a steady girl, and how that dynamic Could work, would also be intriguing. I like your writing style so I personally would not give in to changing it, as sadly some writers have done to the detriment of their art.

I hope you keep going there is so much that can happen with the women around him,

who knows maybe they want to form a harem.

Trish’s comment about what she might want should be explained

If you’re taking votes, I don’t think he should sleep with his sister, or anyone other than Trish. You did do a father-figure to lover twice in “jab”, but everybody wanted to be his lover. Anyhow, nice series. Please finish it.

Just read all the chapters in the course of one day.

Please continue with this story because its got me captivated.

Keep up the good writing

Please more chapters

What a great love story, the storyline flows well and the characters are very interesting. Where as the ending wasn't quite the happily ever after I imagined it was ok, but I for one believe the story should be continued. Seeing that the last chapter was was written and published just less that 2 years ago, I for one think the author should continue this love story. Well done 5 stars

1* too many unanswered questions

It is a good story apart from ending too soon and too hurriedly.

I think because so may stories on Lit have hurried endings or endings with too many questions still unanswered that being able to plan and write the end of a good story must be as difficult, or even more difficult, than coming up with the story line .

If an author raises points in a story, those points must be finished off.

Alfred Hitchcock famously said

"If you show a bomb to the audience (He was one of the finest script writers, but we would say "readers") then you must show the bomb exploding. If not, the audience feels robbed." Even unpaying ungrateful ones.

So in this stories issues that have been strongly suggested and vividly portrayed would be his budding sexual relationship with his sister and niece. Being the man with a sense of morals as he has been portrayed, one can assume that those buds would be nipped in the bud.

His sister, also a person with high standards and morals would also want it to stop if he had a girlfriend.

His friends with benefits relationship with his sisters 2 friends. With what has been written about these relationships so far in the story, I guess the best thing for him is to end it with them both and then have a full confession time to Trish with the view of her meeting Ronnie and Tina along with him and Ashley.

These 2 women are a huge part of his circle of friends and a large part of his needed support base, which he will still need despite him being "in love". They unwittingly prepared him so he could have a relationship with Trish.

As for the brother in law, well anything bad for him would be karma. So for him, anything from contracting AIDS, or becoming a paraplegic by jumping through a window after getting caught by a jealous husband, or ending up in a drive by shooting to a 20 year jail sentence. All good endings.

Another 2 or 3 paragraphs could have covered all those unanswered questions, it did not need to be a lengthy chapter or two.

Just don't leave it hanging.

Read IEnjoyErotica's comment if you think I am too far off the mark.

Good luck.

Please keep writing.

A R W

She lied to him at thecoffee shop. I would dump her

Continue please...

Good story,

I agree there are several open questions, one not mentioned was: what Trish was alluding to with "but you might be surprised at what I'll want from you."

But I don't see any easy way to wrap it all up. I'd love to see you try.

I disagree with the comment "she lied - dump her" I would have agreed until hearing the reason, basically she was subconsciously wanting to be dumped while also not. Her fear of her virginity was tearing her apart. She was afraid of getting too close to anyone.