Growth and Lust Ch. 05 - Hurt

Authors rambling (I guess?): If you don't want to read my thanks and some info jump to the authors note for some story bits to help you read my work. But thank you for coming back and reading this next one, a reader reached out to ask if I was continuing G&L, which I didn't even know I could be emailed like that. But it was really nice knowing someone was looking forward to the story, yes, I will be continuing it and there is a couple more parts after this one. It's nice seeing comments wanting more and I always feel a little heart broken that I can't reach out and be like "I'm working on it, I promise!" When ever I get really into a comic or story, I'm always losing my mind wanting more, but now that I'm the one making it. It's totally crazy trying to keep up.

I don't want to rush it and mess it up, I feel that would just kill it if you were reading it and like "There's too many conflicting storyline problems in here and their writing is terrible." So when you see I post a different story while you're waiting for this one, it's not because I'm ignoring this one. But it's because I have to take a step back, let it sit, then come back with a clean slate and reread and correct it. This process takes awhile, usually it includes me deleting out whole parts, revising parts in the end for the beginning or vice versa. It's crazy, but as long as it keeps being fun, I'll keep doing it!

AUTHORS NOTE: I don't want to break your emersion; this was the only way I could think to make the story cohesive and for you to be able to read it as I imagined it. Dots (......) end chapter, moving onto next act! Star (*) memory or dream, the characters telling a story or dreaming! Tilde(~) means a song, music lyrics being sung! Learned what that key was called today.

......

Fenrar needed a warrior, he made Ginrar, leaving her to carry the guilt of what he wanted. Making her promise that it would end that night. Teloo lost everything, gifted black horns that showed her pain. Saffee saw a monster, wishing she would vanish to nothing instead of staying under its hollow stare. A boy who just wanted to see his mother without pain, face covered red after he pulled the trigger. Peter left his life behind and picked up the name of Roke, stolen from a man who promised to stop his bad habit. He made it to Growth through the help of a four-armed woman, after a man tried to take advantage of him. A red Tallhee woman forced to take on another, breaking her solitude with something undeserved. A heart, this one not torn, but gifted instead. Returned home, tied together, a gift received.

Stolen.

In the night.

Shrieking cries of want.

'I did not abandon him!'

I'm sorry to do this, but I must put you through this.

Do not grin, come within, the night is long so hear her song, her scarlet dance while in a trance.

Threw the grove, follow the flow, they took her away but fell as her prey.

No longer a man crushed in her hand.

He felt no scorn, as is heart was torn.

Run to the stars,

Banished the brutal Ginrar.

......

779 blinked and looked around, the lights above her seemed so powerful and made her eyes wince in pain. She tried to move her head away from them but was unable to turn, 'Oh- Admin lock out.' She thought to herself, remembering that Veronica had taken away her body. Her head felt odd, she felt something on top being tugged and she blinked in pain as she felt hair on her head being pulled.

"Subject can feel in immediate area, initial test shows nerves are sending signal to the brain, what does battery life look like."

"Nominal doctor, with the low power requirement it appears it will outlast her mental stability."

"Good let's move on."

779 felt her eyes burning, she had hair again, true honest hair attached to her scalp, the pain she felt came as a relief and she couldn't help but want to feel it again. She hoped it would be her original mess she had to deal with before, but she wasn't about to stop them to ask.

"779, please try and speak."

779s mind went blank, trying to form a word, any word, "uh-gu- h-h-Hello! uh- this is-"

"Subject can speak, now move on to sensory tests of body."

779 bit her tongue and scrunched her brow together as she tried to understand what was happening, then feeling a prick in her finger and her arm reflexively pulling away. Her jaw hung open in shock, she could feel her body again, now realizing she could feel air on her skin, the lights above heating her flesh.

"Subjects reflexes work, 779 what did you feel?"

779 gathered her thoughts, trying to answer quickly as if the doctors might change their minds and take her body away again. "M-Middle finger, middle finger, right hand!"

"Good, continue tests."

"Guh!" she felt a prick on her left foots pinky toe, "Left foot! Pinky toe!" she shouted as she felt hot tears rolling down the side of her face. Her lips twisted into a smile as she silently wept in unimaginable joy, 'I have it back, my body- it's mine!' she thought to herself.

"Ok, so tests look good, we'll move onto the physical and ensure no cryo damage occurred during storage."

"Yes Doctor, and what about the head?"

779 felt a crack in her joy, a tearing thing of fear piercing through her, 'Head, but it's attached to my body now, what do you mean-'

"Go ahead and pull it out of the retainer, the system is showing nominal readings for life support and mental aptitude. I think Ms. Veronica wanted to have it for something."

779 felt two hands on either side of her head, she gasped as she felt them lift her with ease, 'What!' she screamed inside as her eyes darted around. She felt herself being carried through the air and held in another person's grip, they turned and the room flew past 779s eyes. Stopping to allow her to see the doctor and what he was working on, 'NO!' 779 screamed inside as her lips trembled and a stone formed in her throat, 'NONONONONO!"

She watched as a man in white leaned over her body that was laid out on an operating table, he slid a heartbeat cuff around its arm and pumped it. 779 could see it was her same original skin and bone that she had worked tirelessly to reclaim as her own. Atop its shoulders like an odd collar sat a white plate, a soft green glow coming from an LED inside. The unit seemed to be sucking in air and allowing her bare chest to rise and fall, her lungs filling with air and delivering oxygen to her bloodstream as her heart pumped inside. The doctor stuck a needle in her arm as it lied on the table, but the head in the doctors hands was the one to show the pain. 779 trying to not lose her complete sanity as she tried to understand what was happening, then she saw the doctor lift her legs and put them in stirrups.

"Hey doctor, I'll be going to lunch after I drop this off."

"That's fine, Ms. Veronica wants this thing reinforced to withstand a beating, we'll prep it for surgery once we're back. The cafeteria is supposed to have salmon today."

"What kind of beating?" the nurse asked, her voice curious with an upwards inflection on the end.

779 grit her teeth as she felt a finger enter her, her eyes burning as she felt snot running down her nose with tears falling.

"Don't know, Ms. Veronica said it would receive both external and internal abuse from some of the guards or estates animals. I didn't want specifics of what would happen, she just said make it where it won't bleed, and the pelvis won't crack."

The nurse turned with 779 still in her grip, "Ew, well, I'll save you a seat in the cafeteria!"

779 wanted to scream but knew they would just lock out her voice function, instead she resigned to just crying softly and not drawing attention to herself.

......

>>>In my line of work, truths are the blade of the guillotine, and what I am doing now is resting my head on the block, you do understand you hold the rope to drop that blade. Don't you?<<<

Ginrar stared at the screen, no longer able to work her facial expression to match the raw hatred that boiled in her gut. 'I am not one for idle talk, say what you must and allow me to move on, I need to find him, can you tell me where the Blackstars are or not?' she typed out on the Growths shuttles display.

>>>I cannot, but I am beginning to track them down through my own leads, if you have any information I may be able to use to make it faster. Please tell me, I'm here to help you.<<<

'Why help me, why do you want me to find them?"

>>>She blacklisted me and is trying to snuff out every future contract that I may be able to obtain. I'm not ready to retire from this career.<<<

Ginrar thought for a moment, then typing again, 'There is a Mohreb woman I must find, her name is Bakaree and she works for Growth as well.'

>>>I can find her, give me time and any other details you know about her.<<<

Ginrar leaned forward and pursed her lips, 'Standard Mohreb, yellow skin, four arms, white hair, carries two blades and is quite adept with them.'

>>>Standard Mohreb, anything else?<<<

Ginrar paused before typing it out, 'She is kind.'

>>>Kind? Like "Kind of-"<<<

'No, kind, as in she is a good person.'

There was a substantially longer pause in the typing than there had been before, Ginrar wondered if the person on the other end was confused about her statement.

>>>Alright, a kind Mohreb woman named Bakaree. Give me in an hour.<<<

Ginrar stood up from the console and turned to leave the ship, seeing her mother Teloo behind her. She turned her head away from her, glaring at the floor in the shuttle as she walked past her and down the ramp. Taking in the scent of the evening air as the sun touched the horizon in its retreat from them.

"How many in her party, this Bakaree?" Teloo asked, she tried not to dwell on the emotional pain she was cut with as her daughter refused to even look her in the eye. She was well aware that after what she did, Ginrar may never speak to her again after she finished helping her. She wanted desperately to see her thoughts, but she kept her mind away, not letting it connect with her daughters.

"I do not know." Ginrar said as she stormed away.

Teloo walked down the ramp and let her daughter have her own space after just waking up from visiting the other plane. Teloo turned to walk towards the Moke Steed, seeing Saffee laying on the ramp as Reedus crouched on her haunches further up in the shuttles cargo bay door.

"Reedus, your rations for the shuttle, please give me an estimate."

Reedus looked at her and stood up straight, "Four months of water for five occupants, can easily cover cleaning, drinking and cooking. Food is at two months for good meals, three months for dehydrated, her living quarters have been amended with four bunk rooms but she's lost half her cargo hold. How many do we intend to take on this venture?"

Teloo nodded her head, "We'll be leaving with five, picking up at least one more before we hit our target destination, then hopefully picking up two once we find where these 'Blackstars' hide."

Saffee sat up straight, glancing and seeing Ginrars ivory crown disappear into the trees as she began to speak, "She hasn't showed the mark of loss, he's alive den, you know it." Saffee did a mental count of the number she gave, thinking for a moment on 'two' at the final destination.

Teloo looked at Saffee, "For now you are correct, but if this woman is as twisted as Ginrar fears, then we cannot guarantee he will be when we get there."

Reedus interrupted, "Hey I heard of the Mohreb woman too, but who's the fifth one we're taking from here?"

"Oh you ain't bringing that old bat are ya?" Saffee said in a low erratic whisper, spinning her head and looking for the elder. She could almost feel the craws old cane smacking her on top of her skull and making her teeth clack together.

Teloo shook her head, hesitating for a moment, "No," she swallowed and looked to the trees ensuring Ginrar was gone. "We will bring-"

Saffees eyes went wide and she leapt towards Teloo, "NO!" she shouted through gritted teeth, "No Teloo, I'm putting my foot down on this den! You will not do this to her!"

Reedus felt her face flush with worry, "Teloo, I believe she has changed," she stepped down the ramp to get closer to the mother. "But with what we are about to embark on, don't you think she might be diving back into what she once was, tell me you've felt it too."

"You will hold your tongues." Teloo said calmly.

"Reedus is right, you've felt it since she woke up, came back from the other plane den. That's not fully Ginrar the returned daughter, you've felt it...the banished one." The statement made Saffees skin craw.

"She is my daughter!" Teloo snapped.

"You didn't see what I saw!" Saffee retorted, her memory of the brutal daughter peering over her shoulder resurfaced. The cold eyes that only saw her as prey while she sat atop her own fathers cooling corpse, "Ginrar, that Ginrar, she's retur-"

"Disobey my guidance and I'll ensure you'll see the other plane this night." Teloo hissed through clenched teeth, she stepped toward Saffee and glared down on the woman.

Reedus put herself in front of Saffee, glaring at Teloo and preparing to defend Saffee.

"You do not have to travel this path, but if you do, then we do it my way." Teloo said as she looked down on the two Tallhee women. "Do not be so foolish as to think Fenrar was the only teacher who shaped her into what she was. My word is final."

Saffee and Reedus both closed their minds and their lips, shaking slightly and understanding.

......

Dawson Blackstar sat in his study, sipping the brandy he had poured for himself after a fine brunch of salmon and cream cheese. He understood that to have the cheese imported from the earth's nature preserve meant it was close to twenty times the price. But synthetic lactose supplements couldn't hold a candle to the creaminess of the real thing, he scoffed at the beef industry being ended on the original human planet. Cut short as the planet couldn't sustain life after the massive amounts of greenhouse gasses produced by the bovines. Ending the red meat rein and stabilizing the planets habitat again before being dubbed a nature preserve in the name of science.

He took a deep breath, not wanting to raise his anger over the trivial problems of man from centuries ago. Instead looking at the requisition for funding for the injured man that was down in the holds of the estate. Normally he let Veronica do what she saw fit, leaving her to her own devices like he and his late wife had originally decided to do. Now he wondered if they had made a mistake, seeing as how a prosthetic replacement had already been given and then was returned. Now requesting two more, an arm like before along with a leg.

Dawson grimaced remembering how the severed limb looked so serene in the white canvas it was wrapped in. But a sharp eye could see that no medical implement had touched the appendage to remove it. It had been cut through by something akin to a beast, tamed enough to not drive tooth or nail into it needlessly. But to abide by its masters command and render the user free of the manmade appendage. He wondered for a moment if Peter had found an ally to use in his time away, he remembered how he had used another at the estate before leaving.

The woman that Veronica had taken her wrath out on for touching Peter, Dawson had seen that his daughter didn't blame Peter. But instead blamed the thing she called "779" and punished her, saying she had seduced the man and laid with him the night she was away. He had originally thought the matter of Peter Hammerstead would end there, a man who would be seen as a fling. Who put his hands on the staff he used to be a part of then fleeing the estate in shame before Veronica would come to find out. It was a nice dramatic bow to wrap up his daughters infatuation with a man from the lower class, a man she should not have even taken as her own.

Dawson knew full well what his daughter was capable of, she had done well hiding the scars. But having so many on ones person, it was only a matter of time before they were found and questions would arise. So Peter taking the proper credentials and fleeing was seen as only common sense to Dawson, but Veronica had fell into a spiral. Refusing to let the man vanish from her so easily, claiming that she loved him and would take him back in without any reservations.

Dawson had not been so welcoming to the idea though, trying to get his daughter to leave him behind and advance the family. If she would only follow through with her duty, he understood that it was a burden to fulfill. But one that many behind her had done before, a duty that would bring respect to her and the house for the next generation.

Veronica stepped into her fathers study, smelling the rich leather of the seats and seeing him with his signature brown liquor in hand. She pursed her lips and wondered if this was the drink that made him more pliable to her needs, or angry at her speech. She stepped forward, standing behind the chair that was sat next to his and placing her hands on the back rest. "Daddy, have you had a chance to see the request for Peter?"

Dawson closed his eyes, trying to ready himself for the conversation that he knew would lead to anger from her. "Dear, please sit."

Veronica knew this wasn't going to lead to the answer she wanted to hear, "Daddy I-"

"Sit." He stated calmly.

Veronica bit her tongue, abiding by her fathers request and stepping around the chair to sit in it.

Dawson took his time thinking of how he wanted to word the next statement, wondering if this would lead to a shouting match. "We will assist Peter, giving him the replacements. But after that, we will wash our hands of him."

Veronica glared at her father, "Daddy, we will do no such thing; he's only just returned and-"

"This is not a debate; you will marry Noah Blackstar as originally planned. You will bear a child for the Blackstar household and that will be your shining and respected duty for the family." He said before raising his glass for another sip.

Veronica seethed with anger, every fiber of her being refusing to be an heir producing cow for some other member of the family. "I refuse, I will not be subjected to being another mans baby making whore and surrender my life as forfeit for some child!"

"You will do as you're told and advance this family as I see fit!" he boomed back.

"No!" Veronica yelled as she stood to her feet and backed away.

"You will not have anything else to do with that man!" Dawson boomed, he stood from his chair and let his drink spill to the floor. "You have mangled him physically and mentally, he will not be a member of this household! I let you have your petty revenge on the security and staff, but I'm putting a stop to all of this now. I know you are still putting that woman through hell and I am sorry for what happened to you. He sought comfort in another, and I know that hurts, but he is not now, nor has he ever been Blackstar material!"

"You can't do this to me, I'm Veronica Blackstar, I am the heiress to this estate and I should not have to be subjected to this. I am more than a baby making fool that throws her legs in the air-"

Dawsons hand flew swiftly through the air, striking her cheek and crumpling the screaming woman to the floor. He looked down at her, almost pitying his daughter before remembering what she had done to the ones who crossed her. She may look like her mother, but she was nowhere near as gracious and loving as that woman was. It broke his heart to see the wrath that she could deal on the ones she deemed worthy of it. He had often wondered if it was him who taught her how to act so cruel, but rather than dwell on that idea he instead resigned to that being her nature.

It was Veronicas nature to be cruel, it was her prerogative to be spiteful, her wrath was nothing more than her favorite indulgence. It made his stomach turn, "You will due as you're told, or I will use force to ensure you are the quiet and obedient woman you should be."