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"Okay son, I'm gonna go a little faster... Mommy's gonna fuck you a little faster... Can you feel that?... Can you feel mommy's nasty shit hole slamming down on your hard cock?... Do you like that?... Do you like seeing that?... Huh you little piece of shit?... You like seeing your mom slamming her ass down on your big hard cock?... How about if I squeeze it, make it extra fucking tight?... There, you like that shit?... Huh?... You like me squeezing your fucking dick with my ass muscles?... Yeah?... Is it clamping down on your fucking dick?... Why don't you try fucking it while I keep squeezing it?... That's it son, fuck mommy's clinched asshole... That it baby, I'm squeezing, I'm pinching... Fuck it... Fuck me... Fuck my closed ass... Don't you cum... I don't want you to cum yet... We better stop baby... I think we should stop... I'm saving your load for later."
"All right fuck slave... It's time... The moment we've all been waiting for... It's time to make dreams come true... You wanted a bitch WELL YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET HER... Buckle your seat belt kid, cuz you're about to hear the Queen Bitch of all the bitches on the planet.
"Okay you sick twisted son of a bitch... You got your mom bent over this couch... You got my juicy ass in the fucking air... I want you to stuff your cock up my ass and START FUCKING ME... That's it, shove it in nice and deep... Oh yeah, that's a nice hard cock... Now start fucking me son... YEAH, FUCK MY ASS... Fuck it nice and hard you dirty piece of shit... Don't do me any favors and go easy on me... I want it hard and fast... HARDER... FUCK ME HARD... FUCK MY ASS HARD MOTHER FUCKER... Come on you piece of shit, FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME... Pound it mother fucker... Pound my ass... Give it all you fucking got... Come on you fucking piece of shit... SLAM MY MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE... DRILL IT... Rearrange my fucking intestines ... Come on mother fucker... FUCK ME... THAT'S IT... FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME... Fuck my asshole you piece of shit mother fucker... My dirty nasty shithole... FUCK MY SHIT... FUCK MY DIRTY SHIT... Yeah, shit bang me son... Shit bang my fucking ass... That's it, fuck that ass... Fuck that ass son... Fuck that fucking asshole... FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT, FUCK IT... Is that all you've got you fucking cock sucker?... I SAID FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME... I want you to fuck my brains out... You're a stupid dumb ass mother fucking piece of dog shit... You fuck like a girl... You like this shit mother fucker?... Are you enjoying yourself?...You like it when I'm mean and bitchy?... YOU LIKE GETTING SCREAMED AND YELLED AT BY YOUR SUPER FOUL MOUTHED MOTHER?... Does it get you off being cussed out by a real bitch?... Does my dirty foul mouth make you wanna bust your fucking load?"
"Yes mom, more than anything. I want to cum inside your ass. Please keep talking, help me cum with your dirty words."
"You about ready to cum son?... You about ready to blow your big fat load up my ass?... COME ON SON, DO IT... CUM IN MY ASS... Shoot that big fucking load up mommy's ass... Cum in your mother's asshole mother fucker... Drain your fucking balls deep in my dirty asshole you god damn nasty mother fucking piece of shit... Jack your fucking cock off with my tight dirty asshole until you explode... That's it, jack yourself off with my tight sphincter hole... COME ON MOTHER FUCKER, USE MY SHIT HOLE TO MAKE YOURSELF SPUNK... Blow it deep in my ass... Bust your fucking nut... I want you to nut right in my fucking asshole... NUT MY ASS YOU FUCKING MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT... I wanna shit your spunk right outta my ass... I wanna watch your cum shoot out my nasty shitter... I want you to watch me fart your cum out... That's it baby, give mommy your big fat load."
"I'm cuming mom... OH MOM... HERE IT IS, I'M BLOWING IT IN YOUR ASS... Ahhhhhhhh FuuuuuuuucK!"
"Oh yes, there it is I can feel it spurting into me... I can feel your cock swelling and shrinking as it blows ropes and ropes of cum up my ass... That's it baby, get it all in there... Pump mommy's ass full of your pearly spunk... God damn it baby. Yes, give me all that fucking cum up my ass. Pump it in there son. Drain your fucking balls deep in my ass. Oh god, I'm going to fucking cum... I'm gonna fucking cum with you... I'm gonna rub my fucking cunt and cum with you baby... HERE I CUM SON... AND..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHH"
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!"
"Oh my fucking god that was good. I just came so fucking hard. Here baby, watch me. I'm gonna shit your cum out. Hold out your hand. Oh there it is. Oh wait, I think there's more. Oh yeah, now rub your cum all over my tits and stomach. Oh that's so dirty. You're such a dirty boy. I love you baby. I love you with all my heart. Anytime you want me to role play like this then I'm here for you. My holes and my dirty talking mouth are at your disposal. Let's take a shower and get some rest. What do you think about ditching school this Monday?
- COMMENTS
illwindover 6 years agoAs has been said, you have to give some indication that you are switching POVs, even just a line break with three asterisks would have been enough.
Also, an inner monologue is one thing but your characters are having actual two-sided conversations with themselves. Combined with the constant POV switching, this made for an unnecessarily confusing read. It also made the characters seem mentally ill. It could have worked with the mother's "inner slut" thing, I guess. Though I would have preferred that be the focus of the story if it was going to be done at all.
In the end, it's worth skimming through for the dirty talk(I do appreciate stories that put extra focus on the dialogue) but it's painful to read otherwise.
Anonymousabout 7 years agoreally enjoyed reading this story, but i have to say this. When a word is spelled wrong once it is a mistake, but when it is used and misspelled every time, it is not a mistake, it becomes you not knowing the correct spelling. your word is "fallow or fallowed" that is wrong!! the correct spelling is "follow or followed". this is just one word that was misspelled, there were more, it makes the reader stop and figure out the what the word is and yes even some of the editors are not the best at keeping track of spelling or punctuation.
i find the spelling of words is a big part of learning or improving one's writing skills. please be aware and always check the spelling when you write as it tends to improve your skills. when you stop getting comments about spelling and misuse of words it means no one is reading. looking forward to your next story
CrankThzJackInDaBoxabout 7 years agoi've seriously do wanna literally rank this story like1ofthelike absolute best
everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i've just
truly can't because how many times you abruptly switch characters not even
bothering saying switching characters because this it'll become low ranking
Anonymousabout 7 years agodirty talk was wonderful. POV switching wasn't, figure out a way to indicate that you've switched next time. Also, the word is followed not fallowed, they mean completely different things, that was only one of many spelling and grammar issues that drove me insane through the entire story
Anonymousabout 7 years agoNot sure what story some others read.. But we have different likes and expectations.. Switching pov., horrible grammar and spelling, and dumbass dialog made this a one star boner killer.
