by Mostera1
let's hope it is a person of strong moral fiber, TK U MLJ LV NV
a good man will still function and provide for his family and loved ones. TK U MLJ LV NV
This was a roller coaster ride from word one. At first I didn't like Dylan's character but he not only survived, but grew from his adversity. Great job of creating well rounded character. There's good and bad in all of us and I think you did a great job of making the people in your story, human.
All in all, this story is well worthy of the 5*'s I gave it.
Thanks for sharing you hard work with us.
Thank You.Enjoyed this alot.You have a talent for story telling.Please keep.writing.One of the best I have read here.
This was a satisfying read. Yes it was difficult in spots. I can see and understand why you suspended voting until the last chapter. Your writing and how you put the story together was to me, masterful. The switches between character viewpoint were practically seamless. What made it hard for me was the emotional pain of two hurting people lashing out and doing more hurt. I'm glad you brought it full circle to a resolution.
Dylan Hunt and Harper-Smythe? Gene Roddenberry is spinning in his grave. LOL.
Great story, loved it!
That's not the 'half' of it. Sylvia Anderson, Gerry Anderson, Dr. Beaker, Tintin, its all through out the story. LMFAO
What a diabolically wonderful story!!!!!!!!!!!!
So clever!
Easy 5 for the cleverness alone!!!!
Awww...why did you not have Rita, hidden by a booth hearing the whole thing??? Now that would have been awesome...lmao. Nicely done.
I must say This is one of the best, that I've had the pleasure of reading in a while. Thank you
p.s. If the other readers have as low an opinion of Mari as I, you will have an up hill battle when you write her story. Thank you once again and good luck with your next story. I hope we will have the pleasure of reading many more.
but why give Mari a somewhat happy ending? Yes, she was at once very selfish and stupid, but also had some redeeming qualities. She changed the conditions of the divorce - she finally stood up to her mother . . . Does this merit applause? If she really did finally stand up to mom, kick Chris to the curb, and cut off mom, why didn't she try to call off the divorce? I think you were trying to make her less selfish, but that one fact makes her very selfish. Still, five stars if I could give it.
Mariette deserves a much crueler fate.
Your stories are always different, unique and totally you. Great job. After reading several of the comments, I had to look up the names since I’m not into sci-fi. Wow. Amazing. Glad to see you’re writing again!
And I get the feeling that Mari didn't spend ten seconds worrying about what her life would have been like had she stayed married to Dylan. And Dylan's obviously happy. And until the very end Disney couldn't have asked for a better fairy tale. Then you laid the bomb. And the story got the "1" it deserved.
Not sure why you turned off the voting option on the first four chapters, but I rate this interesting complete story as a five.
Wonderful story full of heartache and love. Woven with mastery of the written word. This is why I read stories on Literotica. You can find diamonds where there are a plethora of rocks. Well done.
This novelette is totally outstanding. You are not a sex story writer... Rather... An author. Most folk write a story about sex. You wrote a story that has sex. You should really consider screen plays. Oh and the last page of the last chapter... The Rod Stewart reference did not go unnoticed
At turns both heart rending and hopeful with a plausible plot, an evil villain and an ending arrived at without undue contrivance. Mission accomplished. Top marks.
Those early chapters were painful to read, it’s very difficult to understand how stupid and childish the characters were. Mari was simply too stupid (and selfish) to be trusted to breathe on her own! Dylan wasn’t much better for letting his pride rule his life, especially where he excluded his parents. The ending, and especially the Epilogue, compensated for the earlier tragically poor character development.
Great work - Hope you are still writing! I found out about you when DFWBeast referenced you as an editor. Great stuff all around. 5*
Note To All
There won't be any more stories from Mostera1, he passed away on 12/17/17 from a massive heart attack per his friend Laptopwriter. R.I.P. Signed: BTW
I have to say that the author wrote a very good story but will never be great until he breaks away from the bad habits picked up from reading and writing stories her at Literotica. I had a very good author tell me why they use dot dot dots and I explained that a lot of the experience in the story is the way the story is written to allow the reader to dream or imagine what is being said, without the HYPER punctuation and the signal for pause by using the dot dot dots. The story line here was very well done but the writing itself was just down right bad. I majored in English Literature, Literary Theory and Criticism, Language and Linguistics, etc, etc,,, I did not become an English teacher but an Editor in Chief. So I do have a little experience and so suggest to all who could read this as Constructive Criticism to get away from the bad habits picked up here and take some College level Literary classes, Please! Score for all five chapters? 5 BIG ASS FUCKING FLAMING NOIVA STARS for each chapter but one each for the literary side!