Halfway to Nowhere

Angie scanned the receipt before tapping a few keys on the ancient register. A new total popped up in the screen to replace the one Jeanette had.

"Four dollars and twenty cents, ma'am," Angie said.

"That's much better." Nellie handed Angie the correct amount but remained standing at the counter. "I thought I saw Steven here."

In her late forties, the woman preferred younger men. Jeanette hadn't been surprised to see the woman in the trading post.

"Did you? Well, considering he grew up here, I think it's safe to assume he's allowed to come back if he wants to," Jeanette said, keeping her reply general.

"Well, you could just say if he's here or not. What harm is there in that?"

"I swear I followed those directions you gave me," Jeanette said to Angie, turning away from the woman she considered a nosy neighbor. "That machine is possessed."

"You never—"

Suspecting the woman was going to say something that would give her secret away, Jeanette cleared her throat, adding a cough for good measure. "Oh, I hope I'm not coming down with that horrible flu all the TV stations are warning us about. Do I have a fever? What if I do?" She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead and gasped.

"I have a weak immune system. Stay back! I'm leaving before I breathe more of your polluted air," Nellie said, backing away from the counter.

Jeanette coughed until she couldn't see Nellie. Then it changed into laughter.

"Ah, that was fun. Angie, the entire town knows that woman loves gossip. She makes her rounds each day to find the latest news she can pass on."

"We had a neighbor like that. She sat on her front porch every day. For people who didn't know her, they would think she was just relaxing. Instead, she was really watching to see who drove past, how long they were gone, and if anyone had company she didn't recognize. When nothing exciting happened that she could see, she would go to different neighbors on the premise of having a cup of coffee with them. That gave her a chance to learn fresh gossip," Angie said.

"I think every town has someone like that. Oh, good morning, Steve, you just missed Nellie," Jeanette said, winking at Angie as she spoke.

"You think I want to see that old . . . neighbor?"

Angie laughed. "Uh huh, neighbor, right."

Jeanette busied herself cleaning shelves, leaving the two younger people alone, even though she could still hear them. Steven's unexpected arrival so soon after Angie's had to be more than a coincidence. It was karma, or destiny, she decided as she worked out a plan to put them together somehow.

Steve watched the woman who cultivated the potential inside him with love and compassion. Of all the people in his life, she was the only one who didn't question his career choice. He thought back to their conversation on the day he left town to begin a new job. She reminded him to have faith . . . her motto for life.

"Was she always such a nice person?"

Angie's question brought Steve back to the present. He shook his head to clear the memories.

"You know, she was, even when I thought she was mean for grounding me or when she made me eat liver for dinner."

"That's disgusting; no wonder you thought she was mean. I would, too. I mean, what parent thinks liver is anything close to edible?"

Steve mimicked the scrunched up look on Angie's face. Their behavior turned childish as they stuck out their tongues and made fake gagging noises. A customer smiled as she walked past them on her way to pay for her purchases.

"You two make such a cute couple. How long have you been together?"

"We—"

"We've been engaged exactly," Steve said, looking at his watch before continuing, "twenty-three hours and twelve minutes."

Angie opened her mouth to question him when she saw a shadow at the end of the aisle. She recognized Nellie, Jeanette's neighbor, crouched behind a display of snacks.

"I'm the luckiest girl ever. He's amazing."

The woman didn't appear to approve of their engagement. Angie decided Nellie must have sent her into the trading post as a spy. Under that assumption, she snuggled into Steve's arms, dropping a long kiss on the curve of his jaw as well.

"Well, yes, congratulations then," the woman said, giving them a fake smile and walking away.

"That woman, Nellie, is still watching," Angie whispered.

Steve pulled her closer in a move that looked natural. He realized his mistake as soon as he covered her lips with his. Intending to make the false engagement appear real, his body immediately reacted to hers.

"Well, well, I never knew you got off on giving the public a show."

Angie saw Nellie approach them. She had recognized the flash of jealousy in her eyes when Jeanette implied he was involved with someone.

"I'm just so excited Angie said yes," he said, looking at her with adoration.

"How could I not? You're amazing, a perfect match for me, and on top of that, you have the sexiest dimple on your cheek."

Angie placed her hand on his bottom as she spoke. Steve's heart rate jumped at the idea of the saucy brunette in his bed.

"I never knew you had a dimple," Nellie said, moving closer in an attempt to separate the couple.

"I'm sure there are many things you don't know about me, Nellie. Now, excuse us, my fiancée and I have some planning to do."

They walked hand in hand, both deep in thought, leaving out the back door. Nellie kicked a display of magazines as she left the trading post. Jeanette pretended to be busy until the woman drove away.

"I'll be," she mumbled. "Those two might just connect without my help."

Angie worked her fingers free from Steve's as soon as she could without having it appear awkward. She sat on the old picnic table while clearing her thoughts.

"That might keep the witch away from me," he said with a chuckle.

"She was livid when you said we were engaged."

"Nellie has a few issues. She fails to see any reason for keeping her marriage vows even though she expects her partner to remain committed to her. She's a lot like Tess that way."

"Did you ever date her?" Angie asked.

"Are you serious? She's always been annoying. Besides, do you see her as my type?"

"Not really, but I just met you, so how much do I know?"

"Does this all seem odd to you?"

She cocked her head to the side to show her confusion at his question. Angie realized she had only been in Rolla a couple days but both Jeanette—and Steve—treated her more like family than a stranger passing through town.

"You're a stranger. Yet Jen offered you a job and a place to stay. She never lets anyone stay in the castle and she's been quite protective of me for a long time. But she has us sleeping a few yards away from each other," Steve said. "Herman and Jeanette opened the Totem Pole in 1933. That was thirty-one years ago. Who do you think has been operating that cash register since Herman died?"

"What are you saying then, that she's pretending she can't use it? Why? What point is there in faking it?"

"For whatever reason, I think she's decided you need to be here. Herman and Jeanette opened their home to strays for years. They took in unwanted and most often unruly kids. The discipline wasn't in the form of belts or paddling the way so many of us had experienced from our birth parents. They raised each one of us with love, using far more patience than anyone I've ever met.

"Herman spent every spare hour with us. He learned how to jump rope and dress a doll just to be able to interact with the girls. Jen threw the meanest fast pitch in town. They invested their hearts and their lives to us."

Angie saw the devotion on Steve's face. She remembered Jeanette telling her Steve came to them as a young boy.

"You loved them."

"Once I grew up a bit, I did everything I could to make them proud. Because of them, I'm not bitter or angry at my birth parents anymore. I realize not all parents have the skills to raise a child. Without support from family or the community, it's overwhelming, to the point where giving that child to someone else is the only answer they can see."

His words made her wonder about her birth father. Her mother slept with the man while married, an affair she claimed to end after a few short months. Angie hadn't thought much about the man before listening to Steve. Yet she realized her mother hadn't said whether the man knew he was going to be a father or not.

"I . . . it can't be easy, giving a child away," Angie said, still not sure she wanted to talk about her own family.

Steve suspected she wasn't ready to share. His years living with the couple he considered his parents taught him not to force a discussion but to lead the person to opening up on their own.

"I promised Herman I would do my best not to get into a situation where I jeopardized a child's future. That old man was a gem. He could tell when I needed space even before I knew I did. He was the kind of father I want to be."

Angie looked around the small area behind the store. The picnic table, though old, was sturdy. An empty milk crate appeared to be there as a foot stool. At first glance, it all looked stark until one noticed the climbing roses along the old fence. She pictured her parent's home and the miniature roses her mother spent hours pruning each week.

Everything reminded her of home, she realized. She missed her room. When she allowed herself to admit it, she even missed her brother. Two years separated them. Danny's hair was the same fiery red shade as their father had.

Angie gasped at the sudden comprehension that she and her brother had different fathers. She had been thinking of herself since she heard the news. Her brother hadn't been home when her parents talked to her. He had moved to California with several friends soon after graduation. The last time she heard from him, he had been talking about karma and spending his days surfing.

"Oh my god, that's why I don't have red hair," she whispered, the realization making perfect sense.

"I've either gone deaf or you left something out."

"I, no, I'm sorry. I was thinking."

"Nothing wrong with a pretty girl who's smart," Steve said.

"Do you believe in karma?"

"Where did that come from?"

"Just, well, my brother talks about it all the time. He moved to California and I haven't seen him in a few years. When he calls, though, he's always making some weird comment. There was one time, about six months ago, when he tried to get me to move there with him. He said it was his destiny to keep me happy. I didn't even understand what he meant."

Steve was older than the girl sitting across from him, yet in the short time since his arrival at Jeanette's, he saw more than her attractive attributes. He recognized the same wounded soul in her that he had as a child. Because he did, he accepted that he would need to take his time if he wanted a chance with her.

"Karma has different meanings, depending how each person interprets the word. Think of it as similar to destiny. We're destined from birth to have certain characteristics. Even the flaws we have are part of it. We can absorb a great deal of knowledge but if it's our destiny to be a farmer, that's what we'll be."

"It sounds confusing, sort of."

"That's where the different meanings fit. There's a simpler way to think of destiny and karma."

Steve recognized the moment as his opportunity to plant a seed on relationships. He leaned his elbows on the old table and smiled.

"Two people meet in a city far from their homes. They fall in love, marry, and live in bliss forever. How can that happen if destiny didn't plan for them both to be in the same place at that same moment?"

Angie forgot to breathe. She stared into his eyes and read the message of hope in them.

"Is destiny ever wrong?"

"Never ever," he whispered, watching her face as he spoke.

"I'm leaving soon."

"Soon isn't here though, is it?"

Steve wondered how long he could postpone soon. A crash from inside the trading post had them both rushing to their feet and running inside.

"Jen, where are you? What happened?"

He looked down every aisle with a sick feeling building inside him. Jeanette was stubborn. She didn't ask for help. A scattered display of snacks near the front door had him fearing the worst.

"God darn nasty thing, you get your skanky ass right back out that door!"

Steve stopped so fast Angie slammed into his back. He lunged forward a step before catching his balance. The sight in front of him changed his fear to laughter. Cowering in the corner was a small dog.

"Aw, he's scared." Angie moved around the others and began speaking to the animal. "I bet you're hungry. You didn't mean to cause trouble, did you? Look at how pretty you are. A bath would feel so good. First is something to eat though. Would you like Steve to find something for you?"

The dog, a puppy from what Steve could see, slid deeper into the corner when the man reached for a package of beef sticks.

"Don't be scared. He's just opening some food. I think you're going to be gorgeous after a bath. I'm sorry you're so hungry. I wish you could tell me why no one took care of you."

Angie felt Steve's hand near her shoulder. He transferred several pieces of spicy dried meat into her fingers before opening another package. She rolled the sticks within a foot of the dog.

"Go ahead. It's OK to eat in front of us. We'll be fine."

The puppy whimpered before taking half a step. Angie smiled when the animal began eating.

"There you go. Steve has more, too. I would like to help you. Will you give me that chance?"

Jeanette watched the magic happening between the young girl and the puppy. The distance between the two narrowed as Angie inched forward. Steve gave her another handful of the beef sticks before easing back a few steps.

"Here's a little more until we can get you some proper food. I hope the spices don't bother that cute little tummy you have there."

It crossed Steve's mind that it was a good thing there weren't any customers in the store to scare the pup any more than it already was. In fact, he worried the animal might attempt to bite anyone who approached it.

"I really think you need a name but what if I choose one for a boy and you're a girl? Help me out here. Give me a clue if you can. Maybe you could wink at Steve if you're a girl. If you're a boy, you can wink at me. See how easy that would be?"

Steve smiled at the idea of the animal winking. He looked at Jeanette to see the same expression on her face.

"I wonder why you came here, to this place, today," Angie said as the dog continued to eat.

"Destiny, Ang. It's the dog's destiny."

Steve spoke from his spot behind Angie. His words took her back to the picnic table and his explanation. She shivered at the connection.

"Perfect," she whispered, holding her hand out to the dog. "Hello, Destiny, I'm very honored you chose this spot to present yourself."

The puppy's tail thumped the floor. With a little food to help the hunger, and Angie's calming voice, the animal moved closer. Her fingers stroked the once clean fur while the little dog sniffed her arm. Determining she wasn't an enemy, the animal dropped at her side and went to sleep.

"That dog is filthy. You don't know what's happened to it or if it's healthy. I think we should call animal control," Jeanette said.

"I can wash her. She's just a little thing, I bet she'll fit in the cleaning bucket. We can put an ad on the door to see if anyone claims her."

"We need to get her out of here and clean this mess," Steve said, keeping his movements slow.

"Is there some rope in the trading post? I should make a leash of some kind so she doesn't run away again. Oh, and a collar . . ."

"Way ahead of you," Steve said. "Bring her out to the shed but hold on to her."

The pup brightened and squirmed once out of the store. Because the road was quite close to the store, Angie held tight so the little dog didn't run in front of a car.

"I can't see her cleaning this place out, and last time I was in here, Herman had some rope hanging in the back. One of us kids always had a dog we found somewhere in town. He started keeping supplies for us."

They worked together to secure a leash and collar for the puppy. Angie smiled when Steve walked at her side once they left the shed.

"Where should I tie her up, though? I want to be able to check on her."

Steve veered off the path toward a small fenced-in enclosure. "I know there's a bunch of weeds in it, but this should work. Herman kept it for all those strays we had. See if you can tie the leash around a fence post. That will give her plenty room to move around."

Angie spoke to the puppy as she followed Steve's directions. He disappeared only to return with a bowl of water and one of dry dog food. While the pup ate, they filled a bucket with soapy water, taking only minutes to clean the dirty fur. Angie laughed as the pup shook her wet fur.

"I'll take care of the store. Go shower," Steve said.

Angie looked down at her dirty clothes and nodded. She didn't even argue before she ran to the castle. Steve swore. He wanted to follow her. He wanted to be in the castle when she stepped out of her room. He kicked a dead branch and swore again. Once inside the trading post, he saw that Jeanette had already taken care of the mess the dog made there. She was at the counter talking to one of her friends. Because he knew she could handle the place on her own, he left. Without a destination in mind, he got in his car and drove away, hoping to cool his racing thoughts. Angie returned to the trading post, unaware she was the cause of the man's disappearance.

"Time to close," Jeanette said. "I think I'll take a magazine with me and call it a night. Grab whatever you want for dinner, Angie, or send Steven out for something later."

"I'm going to check on the puppy then relax, too. I'm exhausted."

They parted at the path after locking the store doors. Angie waited until Jeanette went inside her house before backtracking to the enclosure. Expecting to find the puppy inside, she couldn't hide her disappointment when only the collar and leash remained. She swore, thinking she hadn't put the collar on tight enough, then remembered the discussion about destiny.

"I guess you weren't meant to stay," she whispered.

She dropped the collar and went inside the castle where the evening dragged. Soon after darkness fell, she undressed and crawled into bed, hoping to sleep away her sudden bout of loneliness.

Steve remained in his car even after he turned the key to silence the motor. The trial brought him home in time to meet Angie. Yet he knew so little about her. He went inside the castle, making as little noise as possible, doubting he would sleep.

****

Angie stood in the kitchen the next morning thinking about her life. She hadn't heard Steve return in the night, but she sensed when he walked into the room.

"If destiny brings a person to a certain place, then what is it that makes them leave?"

"It's destiny in reverse," Steve said.

"So when I left the places I stopped at, it was my time to go?"

He nodded. "Do you question it?"

"I worry about the people, the ones I, ah, met."

"Do you believe you should return to wherever you were and explain something?" he asked.

"They helped me."

"But you didn't do anything in return? You just took their help and left?"

"No, it wasn't that way. You don't understand, Steve."

"I can't understand what you don't tell me," he said, taking her hand.

She looked into his eyes before nodding. "It might take a long time."

"Then let's sit on the sofa. I'm too tired to stand."

He smiled, hoping to relax her. She curled into the corner of the cushions.

"My parents lied. All my life, they lied. My father . . . he's not my father, but I didn't know . . . my mother cheated when he was gone, fighting in the war. She was pregnant, from someone she barely knew, when he got back. All my life, she never said anything. Neither of them did, until one day, they decided I was old enough to know. They could have told me before or made it seem less sordid."