Halfway to Nowhere

"Would you have listened better when you were younger?"

She wondered how he could know she hadn't taken the news well. "No."

"I'm proof that it's more important who raised the child than who created it. Jeanette and Herman didn't care I wasn't their birth child. Maybe your father was the same way."

"When I was little, he would sit on the floor and play dolls and games with me. After I started school, he would help me with my homework and go to all my school functions," she said. "Still, I couldn't stay there, after they told me. I don't know who I am, Steve. I'm not a real Barrett. My brother is but I'm not. He has red hair, like my fa—"

Steve pulled her into his arms seconds before she broke into tears.

"Your parents made a choice long ago. They raised you—and your brother—as a family. My parents didn't want me. They handed me over and walked away. I was angry, even angrier than you are, because I didn't know who to be mad at. How Jeanette and Herman survived through those years is beyond me but they never gave up. They continued to love me as if I was their flesh and blood."

He massaged her back as he spoke, calming her until she sat up again.

"Was I wrong, to leave home?"

"I can't answer that. No one knows what was in your mind except you."

A knock at the door stopped Angie from replying. She wiped her eyes the same time Steve dropped a kiss on the top of her head. Angie tried to act as if the kiss came from a good friend.

"Sit tight. It must be Jeanette. I'll get rid of her."

"No, it's OK, let her in."

"You sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure. Unless you . . ."

The man confused her. His knowledge and attitude about life made him seem much older than he was. Conversations about destiny flowed as if he wrote the scripts. Yet she remembered Jeanette saying he just turned thirty on his last birthday.

"Good morning, Jeanette."

The woman's motherly instinct kicked in as soon as she saw Angie's tears. "If you did anything to hurt her—"

"Thanks for having faith in me."

Steve turned before Jeanette could respond. Angie saw his body shaking and jumped from the sofa. She wanted to go to him but stopped at the door instead.

"I'm fine. Did you need something?"

"I was worried when you didn't show up for a lesson with the cash register," Jeanette said.

"We were talking. I'm sorry."

Angie glanced at the man behind her. He hadn't moved. She tried to think of a way to make the woman at the door leave.

"I'll be there soon, OK?" Angie asked.

Jeanette peered around the girl as she realized she interrupted a deep conversation. Although she wanted to help both of the young adults through their problems, she stepped back, nodding her agreement as the door closed. Herman's voice reminded her that when Angie and Steve wanted her advice, they would ask. She retreated, hoping that would be soon.

"Why did she say that?"

"Let it go, Ang."

"But she—"

Three steps brought Steve face to face with Angie. His lips covered hers in a kiss that conveyed his hunger and desire better than words could. His arms closed around her slender frame in a hug both gentle and passionate at the same time. When he pulled back, she gulped in much needed air.

"She's smart, Angie. She knows you have me tied in knots."

Her heart thudded so hard she was sure it would break through her chest.

"That's what you mean about destiny, isn't it? Destiny brought us here, at the same time," she whispered. "Kiss me again."

She swallowed his groan along with her own when he obeyed her simple request. Much later, walking hand in hand, they found Jeanette.

"Don't say a word, Steven. I was wrong, and I apologize," the old woman said. "I hope you can forgive me."

Steve dropped Angie's hand to give Jeanette a hug. "Done," he whispered.

****

That evening they sat around the table for a late dinner. Steve cooked steaks on the grill while the women contributed salads, vegetables, and beverages. Angie picked at her food as she tried to find the words for what she was about to say.

"Um, I need you to know . . . I have to go home."

Steve couldn't explain his feelings for the girl but he couldn't stand hearing her say she was leaving. He thought she cared for him. He swore and went outside without a word. Angie's smile left with him.

"Let him go, honey."

"But—"

"Talk to him after he's had a chance to calm down."

"Jeanette, I need to face my parents. I acted like a child when I heard what my mother said. I should have stayed home and tried to understand better. Running away wasn't the smartest thing to do. Even though I haven't been gone long, I've grown up. I need to talk to my parents and straighten out my feelings about the whole situation."

"You know I'll miss you, Angie. In the short time you've been here, you've become another member of my family."

"That means a lot, Jeanette. You've helped me see that running won't give me the answers I want. That's why I need to go home."

"I understand. Can't say I won't miss you though," Jeanette said. "But promise me one thing. If you have any feelings for Steven, you need to make sure he knows why you're going home. Don't let him think you're leaving him. I've never seen him so happy before."

"I'm confused, Jeanette. We barely know each other—"

"Go find him."

Angie hugged the old woman and ran outside. She looked in all the places she thought he might be but didn't find him. Finally, she spotted him sitting in the run-down garden on an old chair.

"Steve? I need to talk to you."

He didn't acknowledge her even though she stood right in front of him.

"When I left, I didn't know where I was going. I just wanted to get away from my parents. My mother, she just seemed as if what she told me shouldn't matter. And my father, he looked so sad. After all the other places I stopped on the way, and all the people I met, I stopped here . . . and found something I didn't even know I needed. Jeanette saw I was hurting inside. Her kindness and gentle ways made me understand things I hadn't before. Then you showed up. When you looked at me that first time, without my shirt . . ."

Steve listened to her as he thought back to the moment he walked into the castle. Nothing would ever erase that image.

"Then we pretended to be engaged, and we kissed and held hands, and I wondered what it would be like if it was real. At night, in my bed, I would dream of you. Yet I was sure once those women stopped stalking you, that you wouldn't . . ."

She stopped speaking to wipe the tears off her face. He still hadn't said anything or even looked at her.

"I'm leaving to face my parents the way I should have before. However, I—"

Steve stood so fast he almost knocked her over. "I get it. You've had your fun and now you're taking off."

"No, you're wrong—"

"Don't bother making up excuses, Angie. You never planned to stay."

He walked away without giving her a chance to finish. Long hours passed as she sat on the chair he vacated. When the sun rose, she packed her bag, hugged Jeanette, and drove off.

Jeanette hadn't heard from Steven in days. He hadn't left a note and didn't answer his phone when she called. Sitting in her chair one evening, she chastised herself for the possible role she played in pushing the pair together so soon. Her rouse with the cash register hadn't been to hurt anyone. Nonetheless, she had.

Steve finally called two weeks after he disappeared. He was involved in a big case, he said, and hoped she was doing all right. Then before Jeanette could mention Angie, he hung up. As if she knew the older woman needed to hear from her, Angie called that evening too. Jeanette smiled as soon as she heard the girl's voice, pleased with how well she sounded. Seconds after hanging up the phone, she began to devise a plan to get the two young people back to the trading post.

* * * *

Angie's parents had been afraid when they discovered she was gone. They worried whether she was safe or not. Her father even talked to a friend of his who was a police officer. The man was able to offer little help. Angie was an adult who didn't need parental permission for what she did. There was no proof someone took her or that she was in danger. He encouraged them to stay positive the girl would contact them. As time passed, they accepted that their deception drove her away.

Their personal relationship suffered until they rarely spoke to each other. Stan wished he had been stronger when his wife decided to break the news to Angie. In fact, he hadn't seen any reason to tell her at all. He loved her as his daughter regardless if she shared his DNA or not. Then one evening, as he stared at the newspaper in his hands, he heard her voice.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

"Angela?"

Stan ran toward the kitchen in tears. His daughter was home. She was safe. He hugged her close and cried. Angie suddenly knew it didn't matter if he helped create her or not. He was her father.

He stepped back to look at her and smiled. "You look great."

"I have so much to tell you. Is mom home?"

"She went to the grocery store."

"Do I have time for a shower before she gets back, you think?"

Stan nodded. "Everything is in your room yet. We left it . . ."

She filled in what he hadn't said on her own. They hadn't given up on her. She hoped they wouldn't stand in her way after they heard what she intended to do next. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought of the man behind her decision.

Her bedroom felt strange. She stared at the pink walls and the endless posters and photos covering them. An old teddy bear she had when she was a child sat on her pillow. Her room was the same as when she left. The change was within her. She hopped into the shower as she continued to think. She had just finished dressing when she heard her mother's voice. Intent on getting what she had to say out before her nerves took over, she took a deep breath, then walked out of her room.

"Hello, mom."

"Angela!"

Stunned at seeing her daughter there, Katherine didn't move. Angie hesitated. She had been so angry with her mother for so long.

"Stan? Did you know she was coming?"

The words were more of an accusation than a question. Stan shook his head. Katherine glared at him for several seconds before stepping closer to Angie.

"It's good to see you."

The simple greeting hadn't been what Angie expected. Then she chastised herself. She should have known her mother wouldn't react the way her father had.

"When did you get back?" Katherine asked as she busied herself with the groceries.

"Not long ago. If you're done there, maybe we can go into the living room and talk?"

Katherine didn't answer. Mixed emotions—including fear—filled her.

"For once just stop thinking about yourself, Katherine. She's our daughter."

Angie left the room. If her mother didn't want to listen, that was her choice. She would talk to her father. Changing her mind, she returned to the kitchen.

"No, you know what? I have something to say to both of you," she said. "If you don't like that, then I'm sorry. I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need your permission for what I choose to do but you should listen."

Stan silently applauded his daughter's declaration. His wife faced most problems by ignoring them or by speaking before she should.

"Please, Katherine. Even if you don't care, I do," he said.

The trio went into the living room. Angie stood near the window until her parents sat down. Then she began . . .

She told them about Martha and Harold, and Hank and Willow. She told them about the small towns she visited. Talking about Jeanette made Angie emotional but she kept going. Her father smiled several times but she wasn't sure her mother was even listening. That changed as soon as Angie talked about the reason she left home. It was important to her to make them understand she wasn't a child anymore even though her previous behavior made her seem as if she was.

"Mom, I don't think you realize how confused I felt after hearing what you said. All my life, I was a Barrett. I had a father. Then with a few callous words, you ripped that away. It didn't even seem as if you thought you had really done anything wrong. It was like oh, I slept with someone else and got pregnant, like it wasn't a big deal. I can't even figure out why you suddenly thought you had to tell me about it anyway. I mean, how did you think I would take it? That I would run over and hug you and go on as if nothing was different?

"Did you suddenly believe that telling me would somehow make you less guilty for what you did? I've spent the past months away because you told me my father was just someone you slept with, a man you didn't know, who filled your bed because you felt lonely. Did you stop to consider what your words would do?"

Stan cried at the pain he heard in his daughter's voice. She had a right to be hurt. He hadn't wanted Katherine to say anything. He had moved past her infidelity long ago and raised both their children as his own. Their marriage hadn't ever been what he dreamed it would be though.

"I didn't come home for you, mother. I guess I really didn't even expect you to answer me. All my life you've pushed aside anything that made you uncomfortable. I didn't see that until I stayed with people who were kind and gave whatever they could to help a stranger. It took leaving home for me to grow up. Nothing you can say will change my mind about what happens next. I'm going back to Jeanette's, if she'll have me. I'll talk to her tonight."

Stan cleared his throat. "You'll always be my daughter, no matter where you live. And I hope that someday I can meet this woman who took you in so I can thank her."

Katherine remained sitting when her husband hugged Angie. She blocked out anything they said and eventually left the room. Angie realized it didn't really matter that her mother didn't try to explain her actions. Her mother wouldn't change. It was time to let go of the anger that caused her to leave and to be happy again. Leaving home had been about the questions. Returning home had been about telling them she found the answers she needed. All she wanted to do next was to see Steve and tell him how important he was to her.

* * * *

Angie felt her heart pounding through her chest as she approached the trading post. It had been a few days since she called Jeanette. Steve's name hadn't come up in their conversation. Jeanette watched the door constantly. She still hadn't figured out how to get Steven home. As she so often did when she had troubles, she asked Herman for help, hoping he had even a small piece of advice for her. As she waited to hear his whispered words, the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway caught her attention.

"Oh my lord she's here," Jeanette said, getting out of her chair to greet her.

In her haste, the excited woman caught her foot on the rug and crashed against the bookshelves before tumbling to the floor. Her screams reached Angie even before she turned her car off. She ran into the woman's house to find her sprawled over a pile of books. When the woman reached for her leg and screamed louder, Angie knew she needed help.

"I'm calling for an ambulance."

Angie couldn't think. She'd been in Jeanette's house many times. Yet suddenly she couldn't remember where the telephone was. She frantically looked around the small house until she spotted it on the wall in the kitchen. Relieved when a kind operator assured her help was on the way, she took a deep breath, trying to put her fear to the side.

"They're on the way. Don't try to move," Angie said, crouched on the floor next to her.

What seemed like forever but was only a matter of minutes, Angie heard a siren. She ran to the door and waved to the paramedics.

"She's inside. I told her not to move."

They nodded and went to work checking the woman for injuries. After only a short time, they put a brace around her ankle for support. Angie did her best to answer their questions but wasn't much help. She stood by as they carefully put the woman on a stretcher. Tears filled the young girl's eyes as the ambulance drove away.

It took her a few minutes to shake away the crying and do as Jeanette had asked. "Call Steven," the woman had whispered, clearly still in pain.

Her hands shook as she opened the small book next to the telephone. She tried to calm down but she was so afraid. Calling Steve to tell him Jeanette fell and was on the way to the hospital hadn't been what she envisioned as a way to let him know she was back. Both hoping he would answer and praying he wouldn't, she dialed, then listened as the phone rang. When it went to an answering machine, she took a deep breath.

Her message had been short and to the point. She wanted to get to the hospital to check on Jeanette. Ignoring the pile of books on the floor, she left, following the directions one of the paramedics gave her to find the hospital.

The next hours were a blur. Angie waited where directed while the staff took x-rays and ran blood work. She paced. She cried. Most of all, she prayed Steve would appear. It had been four hours since she left the message for him. Soon, she kept thinking. He would be there soon. Then it occurred to her she wasn't even sure where he lived. Maybe it was so far away he would have to take an airplane. Her head hurt trying to figure it all out.

After a long day at work, Steve debated whether to stop for dinner or just go home. His growling stomach won. The small diner he spotted didn't look busy. Once inside, he smiled at the woman behind the counter, and slid onto the first empty stool.

"Coffee?" she asked, holding a steaming carafe in her hand.

Steve nodded as he scanned the plastic menu. Spotting a house specialty burger, he ordered it, adding French fries as well. It wasn't the healthiest, he decided, but he could always spend more time at the gym to make up for it. He sipped his coffee and waited. As they always did, his thoughts went to Angie, and the first time he saw her. He swore at how he ran once he heard she was leaving. It wasn't an adult way to act, he finally admitted. No longer hungry, he opened his wallet, pulled out a few bills, and tossed them onto the counter. Then he went home.

The first thing he spotted was the flashing light on his answering machine. Few people called him other than Jeanette. So far, he had been able to ignore her most of her calls. However, the constant flicker irritated him . . . and gave him a bad feeling. He pushed the button and waited.

"Hi. It's, ah, it's Angie." Several seconds passed in silence. "Jeanette said to call you. She fell. They took her to the hosp—"

The beep of the machine cut off the last of the message. Steve heard enough though. He ran to his room and packed a bag. Jeanette lived five hours away. If he pushed the speed limit, he could make it there in less than four. Once on the road, he tried to figure out how Angie knew about Jeanette. He assumed she had gone home. Had her parents kicked her out? Had something happened to her? The concern he had for Jeanette doubled as he worried about the person who stole his heart.

The bright lights of the hospital were a direct contrast to the darkness of the night. He didn't even know if he would be able to get in since it was so late. Luckily, the nurse at the desk recognized him and brought him to Jeanette's room. A benefit of living in small towns, he realized.

She looked pale even from the doorway. It was the first thing he noticed. Of course, it was late, and according to the nurse, they had given her something to help her sleep. He turned around and went in search of answers.

Angie crouched deeper into the sofa as soon as she saw Steve. The hospital wasn't the place to talk to him, especially considering he was there for Jeanette. She waited until he turned a corner before sneaking outside. Unsure what to do, she drove back to Jeanette's. Once there she took one of her suitcases into the castle with her. The rest could wait.