Halloween in the Cemetery

Love a good revenge story but was surprised by her being so sexual in her acts prior to the cook off.

I saw the review for this on another site and didn't think this could possibly be that bad. I've read it myself now and I don't really know what to think about it. There are obviously a lot of mistakes, but I'm not really bothered about that. I don't know why she'd want to fuck the guy that did that to her sister though, that's kind of fucked up and weird. I think you wrote this a while ago, so as long as you don't make the same mistakes in your newer stuff then it's no big deal, I suppose. But this isn't a great advert for your newer stuff as it's got a lot of problems. I think you need to be careful with stuff like this as if people see this story, I think it's the kind of thing that will cost you readers in the long run. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.

"Oh my goodness, I'm flattered - "the basic storyline here is a condensed retelling of Edgar Allan Poe's “The Cask of Amontillado", but without an eye to the destruction of the individual who chooses the path of revenge."

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No actually. Apparently I spent too much time on what the tale might have been. If that is left aside, my basic point was that this tail of revenge has been written many times before and in more worthy fashion. Your story was a rather condensed version of the tale with little originality to recommend it. The purpose of the "shocking rape" that is at the center of the tale appears designed to justify the concept of "suspension of morality and humanity" for the purpose of vengeance (an eye for an eye) as a substitute for justice. In this the tale fails and becomes a rather sterile parable with, perhaps. a lesson as old as Confucius himself.

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The tale becomes a depiction of the surviving sister reenacting the original rape and murder of her twin in all of its horror and obscenity. The deep and fulfilling enjoyment, she derrives from this act appears to closely parallel Ted's since much of it is not associated with her desire for vengeance. In the end, one is left to ponder what differentiates the two crimes; what differentiates either individual from a sick, rabid animal. Hence Confucius' observation recorded so long ago.

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This leads to my conclusion that if Ted is truly the killing monster the tale depicts, he may well take solace, as he meets his rather grizzly end, in the fact that he has destroyed both twins rather than just the one that loved him.

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The only character then that evokes sympathy is Julie. Her dying wish, as the tail unfolds, was to protect her twin sister from the mindless violence and insanity represented by Ted. The result is that of the tale seems to almost inadvertently chronicle how the frailties and flaws in the surviving sister conspire to rob Julie of even this small victory. In the end, it renders Julie's ultimate sacrifice meaningless. In spite of being silent even at the cost of her own life, her beloved sister was ultimately destroyed by Ted.

A tale too unfocused and not certain as to its purpose. Perhaps simply a savage tale of vengeance that looks to satisfy the savage beast in each of us while hiding from us the complexities of our choices. In this latter regard it seems a fitting tale for our generation.

Oh my goodness, I'm flattered - "the basic storyline here is a condensed retelling of Edgar Allan Poe's “The Cask of Amontillado", but without an eye to the destruction of the individual who chooses the path of revenge. " Sadly, I have nor read anything by Poe, so any similarity is totally coincidental, but I'm surely going to read “The Cask of Amontillado" now. I'm afraid I didn't really see vengeance destroying the remaining sister, so much as being very satisfying for her, ensuring her sister had her revenge. But yes, the consequences would have been something to explore. Ah well, in another story perhaps....

First time reading this- excellent combination of genres!

I apologize in advance for any remaining mistakes in this review. I have been through it a number of times now and I have an early day tomorrow. I have strong feelings about this story and want to see it submitted.

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I found the story well written, but snuff porn, seriously? I'm extremely disappointed. Apparently you have written other tales of revenge here, but this is the first one I have run across

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As far as I can see, the basic storyline here is a condensed retelling of Edgar Allan Poe's “The Cask of Amontillado", but without an eye to the destruction of the individual who chooses the path of revenge. This tale is made more "compelling" perhaps, by the surviving sister's righteous and legitimate anger over Julie's particularly gruesome rape and torture, but it fails in the end to examine the character of the surviving sister and how vengence destroys it.

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The unfortunate fact remains that the act of raping the rapist, and attempting to serve the cause of justice as a vigilante reduces the surviving sister to the monster on whom she seeks to take vengeance. At least near the end of Poe's short story, Montresor admits to a feeling of a sickness of heart, although he dismisses it as a reaction to the dampness of the catacombs. In this case, there there is no introspection. as to what the main character has become.

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I am certain that you are familiar with the quote:

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“Before You Embark On A Journey Of Revenge, Dig Two Graves”

— Confucius

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I mention it here because whether intended or not, you have penned a tail of the destruction of both sisters. In the end Ted has destroyed not one, but two twins as the surviving sister coldly and methodically reenact his his gruesome crimes. If he is truly the monster he appears to be, a man caoable of torturing to death a woman who loved him, he may well take comfort, during his helish end, in the fact that, in the end, he managed to destroy both twins.

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Make no mistake, i find rape to be a brutal obscenity and I have held too many sobbing friends, a d acquaintances in my arms after they have been raped; in some cases by a man who claimed to love and respect them. What I find problematic here is how rape to drive a tale of revenge without introspection. You short-change the reader by using the horror of rape and torture to distract from the the corrosive nature of the act of revenge on the one who seeks it. No matter how righteous the motivation, it destroys the one who seeks it.

Dude totally deserved it. Great story!

Why repost / new notification for a story that is years old..... long story, but someone complained about underage in the original content (justified I might add - there was a reference to the protagonist as a young girl) and Literotica took it down. Pretty petty complaint but whatever, I fixed it and resubmitted. Glad you re-enjoyed it though.

Another odd instance of receiving a new notification for a story that is years old.

Opening “returning home” scene perfect - set stage; could feel/anticipate coming horror. Blend of erotic and revenge well done in this piece. So, must say, the lengthy negative comment by Stachnash seemed shrill; bit pontificating — just saying, to each her/his own. More importantly, am curious — same piece posted some years ago. Why repost? Hey, your prerogative; not complaining. Maybe I missed something. You know I enjoy your wild/crazy/thought provoking writing.