Hana Pt. 01

The last thing he said came from a place of vulnerability that Rochelle could connect with. She saw it in his eyes. She rarely saw that from him these days, partly because he always felt like he had to defend himself from accusations.

Her eyes softened, her snarl turned into a sad frown. In a voice that was playfully whiny, she said, "But you don't share ANYTHING with me, Justin."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't." She said seriously. "You don't tell me how your day went so I can comfort you. We don't eat together unless I hound you. You damn sure don't fuck me. I get nothing from you. Hana gets to see you all day, every day, and all I get is a couple hours a night. That's including you hopping in the shower right after you get home."

"Ro..."

She walked up to him and gently grabbed his face with both hands. "Babe, I would love to just sit next to you and watch TV. Or take a bath together. Or even sit in the same room and read a book. I don't care what we do. I just want to be around you more."

"I would love those things too." Justin said, smiling at the serene vision his wife gave him. "And one day, we will. I promise. We're gonna do more than sleep together."

She laughed a little at that, but then her face once again turned sad. "When? When do I get my husband back?"

"You already have him. He's just busy, that's all."

"Well, can he get unbusy?" She said with a cute pout.

"What do you mean?"

She gave him an impish smile before she stood up on her tip toes, leaned in with her hands grabbing him behind his neck to pull him closer, and began nibbling on his ear. Justin could smell the aroma of her perfume; feel the heat from her mouth.

With a moan, he said, "Babe, I gotta..."

"Gotta what?" she asked playfully as her lips moved to his neck. He then felt her fingers slip downwards between them and start to work on his belt buckle.

"I...we both...gotta get to work."

She stopped kissing him and looked into his eyes. With a wicked grin, she said, "I'm down for a sick day. How bout you?"

Justin was turned on beyond belief. The thought of spending the entire day having sex with his gorgeous wife was enough to almost make him consider it.

Almost. And then, his phone rang.

Both sets of eyes traced back to the infuriating device that was sitting face up on the bed. Both of them saw the name that lit up his screen in big, bold letters.

Hana.

Justin's mind flooded him with all the things he had on his agenda to do today. He had meetings. He had conference calls. He had things he needed to check on. As much fun as playing hooky would be, it would cost him so much and put him behind.

He grabbed her hands as they finally got his buckle loose. Bringing them up to his face, he kissed them but said, "I can't Ro. Not today. I'm sorry."

Her face changed. It became contorted with anger and disbelief. Here she was throwing herself at him, and all he could do was think about rushing back to the office to be with another woman?

"Right." She said, snatching her hands from his grip. "Well, let me know when you're not too busy for me. Hopefully, I'll still be here."

"Babe..."

"You're gonna be late for work. And so am I. Excuse me." she said as she walked away from him towards their large walk-in closet. As she was stepping into her dress heels, Justin appeared in the doorway.

"What did you mean by hopefully I'll still be here?" he asked, his eyes narrowed with suspicion.

All he got was a smirk from her before she bent down to adjust her shoes. Then, she lightly pushed past him and walked out. As she left, she said, "Say hi to Hana for me."

***

This argument was almost like a normal form of communication at this point. For some reason, Rochelle could not shake the fear that her husband preferred the company of another woman; this woman to be exact. Hana was a powerful force; probably one of the most naturally gifted women she'd ever seen. Rochelle couldn't help but to envy her.

What scared her the most was the fact that Hana could probably do anything she wanted, but instead chose to be a #2 to her husband. Hana would succeed anywhere. She could run her own team, or simply work anywhere else and dominate. Justin always bragged about her, and these were words from his own mouth.

And it wasn't like she was lacking confidence and didn't realize this. In fact, Hana was so confident in herself that it didn't even seem like confidence. Her being the best at whatever she did was more like a statement of fact.

So why? Why would a person choose to stay beneath someone else when they have everything it takes to make it on their own? What would make a person forgo their own ambitions to make another person shine?

Loyalty? Respect? Or was it something more; like love?

Honestly, Rochelle believed Justin when he proclaimed that he and Hana weren't having an affair. But there are bigger dangers to a marriage than simply fucking another person. Sex is one thing. Building a connection with another person, a deep one, is something entirely more insidious.

Truthfully, it would actually be better if Justin were bending Hana over a desk and fucking her. Using her as a sex toy was far less frightening than the two of them working late hours together because they enjoyed each other's company. The thought of Justin spending so much time at the office because he just liked being around Hana more than his wife was unbearable.

It drove her insane with jealousy.

***

PRESENT DAY:

Justin flopped down in his chair like all life left his body. It was an extremely long day, and he had an even longer one tomorrow. He glanced at the clock to see that it was already 9 at night.

"Rochelle is gonna be pissed!" he thought. But then, he remembered that she was out of town at that conference, the one that was two weeks long. She'd already been gone for a week.

He hated to think it, but it felt a little bit relaxing to have his wife gone. He loved her more than life, but it was exhausting to have to always defend the amount of time he spent at work. He loved his job, he was good at it, and he wanted to succeed. He wasn't a normal 9 - 5 person. He didn't clock out and leave his troubles at the office. He was driven to be more than just the average worker drone.

That was one of the things that attracted Rochelle to him in the first place. She loved how passionate he was about what he did. It made him interesting. It's just ironic how - 5 years into marriage - it's the thing that causes the most arguments between them.

As he flopped down, the slight vibration caused his laptop to awaken. His eyes glanced at the lit up screen, and what he saw made him do a double take. Then, he quickly leaned forward to get a closer look.

It was an email from Hana.

Justin had to calm his expectations down as he clicked it open. He couldn't help wondering if his prayers had been answered, and if he was going to get his Hana back. Lord knows he needed her!

What he read left him somewhat confused.

Justin,

I have known you for many years now. We've worked side by side and done many great things. You recruited me right after grad school, and I haven't left your side since.

I was there for you. Before Rochelle, before the success, before the money, I was there.

I'm hurt that you couldn't understand how much Chris hurt me. You know how difficult it is for me to have relationships because of how hard I work. You know how difficult it is for me to connect with people because most of them end up being resentful of how driven I am. You know this because we are practically the same.

I was at your wedding with Rochelle. I was so happy for you because I know how hard it is to connect for people like us. But I'm also looking for the same.

Chris hurt me because he pretended to be that person for me. He made me believe we had that connection, when in fact we didn't. I can't work next to someone who did that to me. I can't look at him every day knowing that the connection I thought we had, he had with other people.

How could you not understand that? We are the same.

But maybe you will after you open the attachment to this email. Maybe you will feel what I felt.

For the record, I'm truly sorry for this. But you have to know. I unblocked you, so call me when you're ready. We have a lot to talk about.

Hana.

With that, Justin clicked on the attachment. What opened before him was life changing.

There were over a dozen pictures. It was his wife, only she wasn't alone. In every picture, there was a man with her. And by the looks of it, he wasn't a friend or a casual acquaintance. He was a lover.

In some of the pictures, she was in a bikini, one that Justin had never seen before. Some of them had her wearing a sarong over her bottom half, but in the ones without it, Justin could clearly see that her bikini was a thong.

In other pictures, she was wearing a slim fitting cocktail dress. This series of pictures were taken in different settings. A couple were in what appeared to be a night club, some at a restaurant. The night club ones caught her dancing closely with this mystery man. The restaurant ones had her sitting across from him, smiling over a meal and a glass of wine. There was even one with the two of them leaning across the table, meeting in the middle, and kissing.

Yet and still, none of those pictures stabbed him as deep as the last set. These weren't nearly as lavish or flamboyant as the others. No, there were three pictures of her in a simple outfit: white shorts, a T-shirt, and some sandals.

In the bikini pictures, she and her lover were enjoying time by the pool. A couple had her and this guy sitting in a lounge chair. He was leaning back, and she was sitting between his legs, laying back into him. Even though the shots were just frozen moments in time, Justin could see how much she was enjoying whatever they were talking about. The smile on her face was either in mid-laugh, or just permanently there due to her loving the company she was with.

The cocktail dress pictures seemed to be where she was having the most fun. Dancing, drinking, more laughter, and then eating at what looked like an expensive restaurant.

But those final three photos are what did him.

They were taken from behind, but Justin could tell that this was the same couple from the others. He knew Rochelle's body shape from anywhere, the curve of her neck, even her ponytail.

The couple in these photos walked side by side, hand in hand. In two of them, she was turned and looking in his direction. In the final one, she was leaning her head on his shoulder.

Never before had he felt so much pain. It was like his stomach hollowed out, and everything inside of him was replaced with acid. It was an empty yet burning sensation that made him feel like this couldn't be real.

Only, it was.

His breath quickened. His heart raced. He felt like he was dying. It didn't take him long to realize these were the symptoms of a panic attack, the same he used to suffer through as a kid after his parents divorced.

Divorce. Divorce. Divorce divorce divorce divorce...

Fuck!

He had to pull it together. He had to get his breathing under control. He had to fight the urge to jettison himself out of the 8^th floor of this building.

It took him about 10 minutes. 10 minutes of panic, of rage, of despondent hopelessness before he pulled out his cellphone and called Hana.

She answered on the second ring, like she was expecting this call. She didn't even say hi when she picked up. Her first words were, "Did you see them?"

"What do you think?" he snapped back angrily. There was a pause between them until he asked, "Is this real, or are you just fucking with me to get back at me?"

Hana snorted at that, like the mere question offended her. "Of course, this is real. You know me, probably better than any other person. Would I make something like this up?"

He didn't answer that. He didn't have to because her rhetorical question went without saying. Instead, he asked, "When were these taken?"

"Last week."

"What the fuck?" he thought. Aloud, he asked, "Where?"

"On a cruise ship, though some were taken when the ship pulled into Barbados."

A cruise ship? In fucking Barbados? With another man? What the hell was going on? How can she be on a cruise when she's at a conference in Memphis?

"None of this makes any sense." He said, though the words falling from his lips felt empty. Even as he said them, he thought to himself, "Justin, you're an idiot".

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Hana asked.

"Uh...she called me a couple nights ago. We talked for about 10 minutes."

"Uh huh. Probably because the ship pulled into a port at Barbados a few days ago. It's gone back out now."

Justin's brain started working overtime to put together these pieces. Rochelle's job sending her out of town wasn't anything new. However, these "trips" had been more frequent lately, and for longer periods of time. What was once a couple days now took a week or two.

As for her calling, that was something she used to do every night when she was away. She always said she missed him and just wanted to hear his voice before she went to sleep. But lately, he'd be lucky if he got three phone calls the entire time.

Come to think of it, the phone call the other day seemed a bit odd. She did her usual checking in thing, but there was a complete lack of emotion from her, like she was distractedly talking to him while trying to do something else. She asked all the questions (how was your day, how are things at work, what did you eat today) but it was like she was checking things off on a list. He doubted she even heard his answers.

Of course, he didn't notice it at the time because he was so preoccupied with figuring this project out without Hana's help. He was kind of glad to get off the phone because when she called, he was right in the middle of a few tasks. But now, looking back, he could see that she couldn't have cared less.

"Fuck, Hana!"

"Yeah." she said emotionlessly. Then, with a bit of sarcasm, she added, "Trust me, I know how you feel."

The swirling anger that was raging inside of Justin suddenly had a place to go. Here it was that his life was completely falling apart. His job was in jeopardy. His marriage was on life support. The fact that some part of Hana was enjoying this sent him over the edge.

"You know what Hana? Fuck you!"

"Fuck me?"

"Yeah!" he bellowed. "FUCK YOU!"

She should've expected a visceral reaction. She probably would've from anyone else on the planet. But she and Justin had never shared a harsh word between them. Even when they disagreed to the point of shouting over each other, their words were never harsh.

Justin continued. "I've known Rochelle for 5 years. We've been married for 3. You think that her cheating on me is on the same level as Chris treating you like a booty call for 6 months? That just shows how full of yourself you really are."

She tried to cut in, but Justin wasn't finished yet. He was just getting started.

"For the record, I warned you about dating him. I told you it was a bad idea. You've had tons of men falling over themselves over you, but you pick the ONE asshole out the bunch. That's on you, not me. Secondly, what you wanted me to do was unethical on so many levels. You wanted me to open myself up to a wrongful termination lawsuit because some dipshit hurt your little fee fees? You really expected that, because once again, you are full of yourself. Thirdly, you quit on me right when you knew it would hurt not only me, but the rest of the group the most. If this project fails, we will all be out of a job. Not just Chris. Not just me. ALL OF US. But you don't care because you've reverted back to a teenager who got stood up for the prom. So, you know what? You win! Congratulations! You got your revenge! My bitch of a wife is cheating on me, and you got to drop the whole steaming pile of shit in my lap for your entertainment. Now go gloat somewhere else and get the fuck off my phone!"

Hana could do nothing more than breathe angrily on the other end of the call. She wanted to scream at him, to laugh at his calamity, to call him all sorts of names. But before she could do any of that, the line was dead. Justin was gone.

***