Happily Humping Hortense

"Obviously not your first rodeo."

Hortense chuckled. "Was it the shoes that gave me away?"

"More your answer to my corny line."

It all began the night before, the first Friday after our office had returned to normal post pandemic. Most of us had not seen each other for months. The boss decided to buy the first round of drinks at the pub on the corner.

Physical distancing was still in effect at the pub, so the socializing was awkward, and most folks left after the obligatory free drink. Three drinks in, the bartender was dimming the lights as happy hour segued into more serious drinking. Only Hortense and I were left from the office crowd, sitting at opposite ends of a table.

I didn't really know Hortense. I don't think anybody in the office did. Most offices have one person like her- the book keeper in the back corner with the loose fitting shirts buttoned to the collar, the pants or skirts below the knee, the sensible shoes. Quiet. Professional. Probably still lived with her parents, except she never talked about her personal life.

Hortense got up to go to the ladies, and I took that as my cue to drain my beer and call for an Uber.

Then it happened.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

The words just tumbled out of my mouth as Hortense walked back to the table. Must have been the beer talking. Or after months of celibacy, even Hortense looked good. And her shoes did rock- ankle high with a chunky heel, but the combination of deep red and black, with red laces to match the leather against the black upper, caught the eye, and made me appreciate the slender ankle that peeked out between the shoes and the bottom of her pant legs.

I'm not sure who blushed more.

"I think they're actually boots," Hortense replied.

I noticed she said neither yes nor no in answer to my question.

"I called an Uber if you want to share," I mumbled.

"What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"One who had had too many drinks to drive."

Hortense frowned. Maybe she lived close enough that she walked to work.

"Well, such a gentleman."

She still had not answered my first question.

We walked out to the sidewalk, watching for the ride to arrive. As it pulled up, Hortense turned to me and asked, "Your place or mine?"

Now I was the one who was speechless.

Hortense continued to surprise me by grabbing my hand to pull me into the back seat. Our hips bumped as she gave the driver an address which could only be hers, since it sure wasn't mine. The heat of her body was pleasant, and I felt a tingle run through me. Blood surged into my cock. She had not released my hand, which now rested on her knee.

Her other hand reached up and caressed my chin, turning my head. Her face met mine. Her lips pressed against my mouth. Her tongue slid into my mouth, exploring my teeth and twisting into my cheek. Her fingers played with my hair.

I turned my body, my leg sliding over her knee, my hand grabbing her shoulder. I cupped the back of her neck and kissed her back, hard. Tongues tangling. She did not hesitate, pressing her body into mine. I felt the pressure of breasts that were much meatier than her chaste attire had ever suggested. As we ground together, her nipples hardened and my cock threatened to break my zipper.

My hands moved automatically, caressing her arms and her sides, them easing in between our bodies to cup her tits. My thumbs found her hard nubbins under her clothes and massaged them. Her palm was warm against my erection.

"I haven't made out in a back seat since high school," she whispered, giggling as she came up for air. The car was pulling to a stop outside a modest but modern condo building.

Grabbing my hand again, she skipped girlishly into the building and across the lobby to the elevator.

As the elevator doors slid shut, she said "we have twelve floors to go up."

"Shut up and kiss me."

I grabbed her hair and drew her lips to mine. She started grinding against me.

Then she pulled back, just long enough to rip my shirt open. I could still feel her breath, hot against my chest. Buttons went flying against the walls of the car. Instantly, all four of our hands got busy. I undid her shirt, just slightly less violently than Hortense had attacked mine. She was busy unzipping my pants.

'How much did she really think we could do in this brief ascent?' I wondered. 'Or would she press the stop button? If so, would that give us time to fuck before we risked help arriving? Or did she just want to blow me here? Or tease me enough to fuck as soon as we got to her condo?'

My cock cared not at all, demanding more blood as it surged to fullness, leaping loose from my briefs as soon as Hortense got the zipper lowered, flopping right into her hand. At the same time, she started nibbling at my nipples. My hands struggled to undo her pants. They fell effortlessly from her hips, underwear following. I had no chance to notice whether she secretly wore sexy lingerie, but her surprising sexiness made me imagine that she did.

Then she locked her heels behind my knees. I grabbed her ass, noticing that it was not flat like I would have guessed an hour ago, but had a well-toned set glutes. For just a second, I held her like that, suspended in mid-air, her weight balanced in my palms. Our loins surged forward at the same time, perhaps cued by her hand drawing my cock toward her wetness.

"Fuck me," Hortense moaned. A single tiny bead of drool appeared, dangling off her swollen lower lip. I caught it on my tongue.

As I turned her so that her back balanced against the wall of the elevator, I thought about protection. Hortense must have felt the hesitation.

"I'm on the Pill, and am clean," she said, momentarily reverting to the no-nonsense work voice she used when questioning my expense account. "Fuck me now or you'll never get a business lunch approved again."

The way she then buried her tongue in my ear reassured me that she was only kidding- I hoped. Well, best bet was to do as told. I pressed my body tightly against hers. She responded, levering herself against the wall until her wet slit slid down along my shaft, burying my entire length inside her in one stroke. She gasped as my hardness stretched her cunt, my balls slapping against her pudendum.

"That's it- fuck me with your fat cock, that's what I've needed for a long time. I sit there, in the office, looking out that stupid glass window into the bullpen, imagining which of your idiots will finally figure out how much I need a good fucking. Some days I thought someone would smell my lust." She giggled. "If only I had known sooner that three beers was all it took."

She paused, panting for breath, hands on my shoulders, her thrusts meeting my mine.

"You have the greatest cock in the world, and now that I finally have it, I want more of it."

She giggled, and then groaned. Her eyes closed as she feverishly thumped hard against my groin, each stroke faster than the last. I grasped her shoulders, my hips meeting her movement, the two of us becoming one well oiled fucking machine. The confined space of the elevator was permeated with our lusty scents. I shifted back just enough to lower my face to her chest, sucking each nipple in turn, my five o'clock shadow creating redness in the valley between her mounds, and then I bit hard on one nipple.

"Ouch!" she gasped. "Be careful. I do love a little pain, but you want them not to be so sore that it hurts later when you titfuck me."

Later? Titfucking? Straitlaced Hortense had clearly been hiding a wild side.

Her passionate words sent shivers running down my spine which I felt shoot up from the root of my shaft right to the slit in my helmet. My organ was throbbing harder than it ever had before. Our rhythms synced into a frantic pace.

Then the elevator slowed, preparing to stop.

"Faster...almost...there..." Hortense mumbled into my ear, and then clamped her teeth down on the ridge of cartilage on the upper edge. I felt a flash of electricity running through my prick as I did. My cock oozed precum at that moment, then I shot a spurt of seed into her lusty womb.

The air was pungent with our passion.

The car slowed further to a stop, and with a "ding" the doors opened. I fumbled and found the stop button. Hortense was so focussed on her impending orgasm that she did not react at all, continuing to fuck me frantically. I flexed my knees, continuing our rhythmic flexing, thrusting myself deep into Hortense as she bounced up and down in counter rhythm.

Hortense gave a quick grunt, her loins grinding vigourously against my groin.

"Your cock is so huge. I feel its tip swelling up, like it is almost filling me to my navel."

"I'm no anatomy expert, but I don't think that's possible."

"I don't care. I just wish we had starting fucking ages ago. I have had so many fantasies about sucking your dick after you've fucked me."

She giggled again, blushing down to her chest.

"Yes, I'm a dirty girl that likes to taste herself. Will you taste me too?"

I was too busy with a mouthful of nipple to answer, other than to run a finger down and press it past her sphincter into her butt. That made her wriggle and fuck even harder.

"Oh. Seems you are a dirty boy too."

Hortense moaned as my digit danced in her darkness, her body quaking with apparent orgasm. Even before the convulsions calmed, she spoke, panting.

"Come for me...your turn...don't hold back...fill me right now."

My scrotum was tight to my groin, seed urgently roiling, ready to burst forth in spite of the prior spurt. With a grunt, I rose up on my toes and thrust even deeper into Hortense's cunt, holding that position. I felt a cavalcade of jumbled sensations as great gobs of goo pumped into her womb, hr muscles milking my meat for all it was worth.

Hortense tensed briefly, apparently once again on the edge. I instinctively bit down on her ear, nipping a bit harder than she had nibbled on mine earlier. Her body reacted to the pain with a shimmy, her hips rolled vigourously, grinding her even harder against my shaft.

"Yessss..." She screamed as I ran my tongue down along her throat, leading my teeth to the tip of her shoulder, where I gently gnawed. Her thrashing continued.

Her second climax subsided just as the car alarm started to sound. I found the door open button, which stopped he alarm. We sank to the ground, Hortense's body relaxing against mine. As the doors opened, I grasped her ass firmly in my hands, this time lifting her off my cock, which was well coated with our cocktail of love juices. Even after my explosion, my cock remained massively erect.

I lifted Hortense in my arms, carrying her into the hallway, her head resting on my shoulder. I cared not whether anybody saw us, clothes shredded, cock boobs and cunt on display.

"My unit is straight in front of you," Hortense instructed. "Can you dig the key from my purse?"

I carried her into the unit like a groom taking his bride across the threshold, wondering whether the mix of booze and spent hormones would make her pass out. Perhaps she would wake up, regretting what had just happened.

No fear of that it seemed.

As soon as I lowered Hortense to the couch, she slid off it again, dropping to her knees, her hand grasping my still tumescent cock.

"I need to taste more," she said, and then started to bathed my fluid soaked cock with her tongue.

She swirled just the tip of that tongue around my mushroom shaped head as her delicate fingers encircled my throbbing shaft. She then flattened her tongue and ran it down the underside of my prick before lifting her body just enough to rub my slit along her erect brownish nipples. Holding my shaft in one hand, she licked the fingers of her other hand, looking up at me with a naughty grin. She proceeded to run the wet fingers across her tits, following the trail of gunk left by my cock. Several times, she brought the fingers back to her mouth, inserting them deep into her cheek. I could see her tongue bathing them before she took them out for another round.

"Want a taste to see if I got myself clean?" she asked, offering the fingers to me.

I dropped to my knees slowly so that she never lost hold of my cock, and sucked on her digits, which had just a faint musky flavour. Once I could not taste that anymore, I pulled my head back, but Hortense grasped my hair.

"Not so fast- you have somewhere else that needs checking."

She guided my mouth to her tits. I started by licking all around the curves, trying to remember where my cock had rubbed. Soon she guided my lips to her nipples one by one. She did not rush me, mewing kittenishly as I slowly suckled each in turn.

Finally she tugged me back again, her nipple pulling a bit in my teeth, then releasing with a plop.

"You aren't clean yet," she said.

First, she tipped me back a bit and then she slid so that she was resting prone, her head and shoulders raised on her elbows.

She teased my scrotum with her baby finger, which made her giggle. Then she pumped her fist once up and down my length and then licked me again, this time slowly, tracing along my main vein with the tip of her tongue. She lifted my weapon upwards and bathed the underside, spending extra time licking all around the ridge where helmet meets shaft. Her teeth grazed the frenulum- the flap of skin tying the two segments together.

"Oops, is that okay? Or will you have to spank me for being naughty?" she teased.

"Sure I'll spank you later, but not for using a little teeth. Maybe not every guy you suck off likes that, but I happen to. You seem to have an instinct for just the perfect touch. I'm guessing that you've done this before."

"Is that a surprise? Did my conservative style at work fool you into not seeing me as the slut I am?"

"It is a good disguise. I'm happy you finally dropped it."

Hortense proceeded to wrap her tongue around my shaft, licking in a spiral motion from top to bottom and up again. I could feel my balls tightening again. She wrapped her fingers around my root and caught a single bead dripping from my cock.

"I think I'm clean and if you aren't careful, I'll explode in a second. Then I won't be good to go again for a while."

"That's okay, because next you are going to lick my pussy clean."

She deep throated me, releasing her grip on the base just as her lips reached bottom. Another stream of seed surged into her mouth. She swallowed hungrily until my load was depleted. Only then did she lift her head and grin up at me, her lips glistening.

"How about I lie on the couch?" she suggested.

Without waiting for a reply, she crawled up to the couch, shedding the rest of her clothes along the way. She lay on her back, hips spread, one leg dangling off the couch so that it was easy for me to crouch beside her on the floor and reach her pussy.

"Your turn to taste me from the source," She said, grasping my head again to lead my face to her honeypot. "Though I guess really, you'll be tasting both of us. In the morning, I'll shower and you can taste me fresh."

I resisted her grasp, freeing my head, sliding up her body. I started by placing my lips on hers, offering a simple kiss. She opened her mouth and tried to offer me her tongue, but I had already moved along, licking down her chin and along her throat, recalling how much she had enjoyed that in the elevator. She tasted differently now, dewy and tangy from hormones. The couch rocked slowly as she wriggled. One hand slid along her flank and cupped her breast. At first I avoided the nipple, just gently hefting the flesh, listening to her moans.

My teeth found one nipple as my fingers grasped the other. I tugged them both away from their mounds, enjoying how that made Hortense whimper, her hips starting to thump up from the couch. My hand moved from her tit, sliding along her smooth belly, pausing to explore the light fluff of well tended pubic hair. This made her moans more passionate. My thumb parted her labia, followed by the rest of my fingers. She began fucking herself with my hand, her clit dancing on the tip of my thumb.

My mouth worked down her tummy, pausing to kiss her navel. I allowed just a single heartbeat's worth to appreciate the way that, with the folds of her flower peeled back like petals, the nubbin stood triumphantly upright, just like a tiny cock. We shared a smile before finally I buried my entire face between her thighs. She was so wet that I felt it on my cheeks.

As soon as my lips found her clit, Hortense shuddered, her hips heaving upward, yet another climax wracking her body.

I hung on, riding her waves, intent on completing her request and thoroughly cleaning her cunt. The taste I had already enjoyed as I found her button confirmed that her sweetness mixed well with my saltiness. I suckled each labia and then dived deeper, slurping more nectar from within.

"I'm going to come again," she sighed. "I've never had sex so great before."

I swirled her clit inside my mouth and then to lapping at it with a flattened tongue, bobbling it towards her head. Her back arched up as she thrashed around my tongue, her hips writhing. I switched to teasing her labia with my teeth, working toward the bottom of her slit.

in a single fluid motion, I flicked my tongue up through the gash, bobbing her clit on the tip. My lips closed around her pearl and I captured it in my teeth, tugging at it a bit harder than before. My fingers slid under her bottom, stretching her anus open. A fingertip probed that forbidden space. That triggered another series of groans, and a gush of fluid out her gash.

As her spasms subsided, I lifted my head and smiled at Hortense. I noted that her hands were around her mounds, fingers gripping nipples as if she had been twisting or pulling them as she responded to my oral attentions. I slid up her body and we shared another deep tongue twisting kiss. Hortense really hadn't been kidding about enjoying the flavour of both semen and her own juices- a trait we shared.

"Ohmigawd," Hortense exclaimed once she caught her breath, "you're hard again."

My erect cock was pressing against her damp thigh.

"What should we do about that?" I asked.

Hortense surprised me momentarily by shoving me off her body and springing up off the couch, giving me my first good look at her nude body, which had just the right curves to compliment those tits she took so much trouble to hide. Her flat stomach suggested a lot of gym time, which had also produced attractively developed arms and calves.

"If you can catch me, you can fuck the one hole you haven't filled yet," she laughed, turning and sprinting into her bedroom.

I caught up to her just as she reached the end of her big California King bed. I shoved her forward on to the mattress. I gave her buttocks a fast, hard smack.

"That's for being a naughty girl," I growled as she mewed in pleasure responding to the sharp brief pain.

She raised her hips higher, her face down, her weight on her forearms. I crawled up onto the bed behind her. My arms reached around, squeezing her tits. I gave her nipples another hard tug until she winced. Her wriggling hips confirmed that she was still enjoying the activity. My meat was rubbing against the small of her back.

"Fuck me now. Fuck my ass," she begged.

First I buried two fingers deep into her asshole, opening it wider while she moaned. I slowly probed Hortense's hungry hole, nudging my fingers deeper, until I got past a knuckle. Then I slowly drew them back, and thrust even deeper, and then repeated it, but harder.

"That's it," she purred. "Use those fingers to open my ass wide enough to take that big fat cock."

I shifted enough to slip my cock under her body, sliding it along her cunt until I was wet with her juices. The whole time, Hortense kept pleading with me to stop teasing her and just fuck her ass.