Happy Birthday

British English spelling and grammar.

Some (a lot) of you don't like my abrupt endings. Cut and paste below for your emails:

What happened next? What happened next?

***

Happy birthday!

Doris entered the café and spotted Maureen straight away. She joined her at the table.

"Did you order for me?" she asked.

"Yes, Chili con carne with crusty bread; is that all right?"

"Perfect."

Their lunches arrived.

"You're looking a bit down in the dumps, Maur. Is something wrong?"

Maureen put down her fork.

"Nothing serious; Ed is away on a business trip again and it's my birthday. The same thing happened last year."

"Oh shit! I forgot too!" said Doris.

"No problem; anyway Ed didn't forget. He did his best to get out of this trip, but simply had to go. You know what his job is like. He'll call me at seven thirty from the hotel, and has booked us into a spa over the weekend."

"Well you say no problem, but I'm sorry I forgot. What are your plans for tonight?"

"Just vegging out in front of the telly I suppose."

"We can certainly improve on that Maur. Did you come in on the bus?"

"Yes. Ed took the car."

"Well meet me in the pub next door, say five thirty. We'll get a bit tipsy, pick up a pizza, and I'll get us a taxi to yours at seven fifteen so you can take Ed's call. "

"Oh, thanks; will you stay and watch a Blockbuster movie with me?"

"Sure -- get a romantic one; and I'll pick up a bottle of wine."

***

Maureen returned to work. She hadn't told Doris that her boss and workmates had also forgotten her birthday. She didn't want to sound like a complete misery. The afternoon dragged, but before long she was in The Plough. She got there for five twentyfive. As tipsy was Doris's plan, she ordered a Jack Daniels.

"Would you like anything in that miss?"

The barman was handsome and she loved the 'miss'.

"I think I will. Drop an ice cube in and add another Jack Daniels. It's my birthday!"

The barman passed the drink and said "Happy Birthday".

Maureen shuddered slightly as it burned its way down her throat. Her skirt rode high up her thighs as she climbed onto the bar stool. Let it, she didn't care.

"Why are you shuddering, don't you like it?"

A man appeared from a gloomy corner and stood next to her; he was more handsome than the barman. And this early, there was no-one else in the pub.

"I do like it. But the first sip always makes me shudder."

"Only the first one has that effect?"

"Yes, look."

She took another sip but it turned into a gulp. She swallowed more than she'd intended and narrowly avoided spluttering.

"OK. But that was only a slight twitch. I swallowed a bit more than I should have."

For some reason that made him smile.

"It would go down easier if you put something in it -- coke for example."

"I don't want anything in it. I like the taste."

He smiled again.

"My name's Adrian, but I prefer Ade. Like First Aid, I'm here to make you feel better!"

It was her turn to smile.

"My name is Maureen, but I prefer Maur; as in more than a handful!"

Inevitably his eyes dropped to her prominent bosom, and they both laughed. Her breasts seemed to join in the fun and wobbled, straining at buttons of her blouse.

"If you'll allow me, I'd like to buy you another drink. It's a little experiment; I want to show you something."

***

Doris was getting frustrated. There was a long queue of cars waiting to pull out of the company carpark. The main road was full of traffic -- all going home at the same time. She was going to be late. At last she got to the front and saw the problem. The traffic was backed up all the way to the lights. And the gap created by each red light never quite reached the carpark entrance. She wound her window down and smiled at each male driver. Eventually someone would flash their lights and let her out.

***

"It's called Bowmore, and it's a single malt. A good one should not make you shudder at all." said Ade. "When it slides down your throat, you should not feel burning, just a warm sexy glow."

He was still standing facing the bar, but was now closer to Maureen. She had turned towards him on her stool and was thinking she'd have to try to tug her skirt down sooner or later. Her panties might be on show, but there was no need to pull it too far; this guy was seriously sexy.

"I ought to let you know I'm waiting for a friend actually." she said.

"Well he must be mad, leaving a beautiful woman all by herself like this."

So, he thought she was waiting for a man; no need to enlighten him. One drink with a good looking stranger wouldn't hurt. He'd have to make himself scarce when Doris got here.

"My friend will think I'm being naughty."

"I think you are too!" he agreed. "Here, try your Bowmore."

"You've bought me a double!" she said. "You'll be getting me drunk."

"Sorry, I thought you preferred large ones. Don't worry I've got a large one as well."

***

Doris had waited long enough. The next gap was only a half chance but if she didn't take it, she'd never get to the Plough. She shot out, expecting to hear the blast of a car horn. Unfortunately, the guy had also seen the widening space and accelerated into it. The sound Doris heard was not a horn but a crunch, as she was rear-ended. There had been no time for him to sound the horn. Her seatbelt locked and she said 'Shit!" Exactly the same thing happened to the guy behind, who also said 'Shit!" After a moment they both got out, to the sound of many horns in the heavy traffic.

***

"You're not supposed to down it in one go!" Ade said. "It's supposed to be sipped and savoured."

He placed a hand on Maureen's exposed thigh and gripped it. It was as if he was reinforcing his irritation. She noticed it but made no move to stop him; it felt nice and warm - so did she. His other hand was on the bar and she put hers over it, comforting him.

"But I knocked back the Jack Daniels."

"That was only to get rid of it, so you could try the Bowmore. You really are naughty."

"What should I do?"

"You should wait while I get you another one."

"OK. But you'll have to be patient with me. Point out where I'm going wrong."

She left her hand over his, while Ade ordered a second Bowmore. But Ade moved his other hand farther up her thigh. He didn't even pretend it was accidental. She closed her eyes for a moment as he almost made it to her panties. Better make the most of this -- Doris would be here soon and they'd leave. Her drink arrived.

"Now just sip it."

***

Doris was discussing the accident with the guy who had run into her. As a general rule of thumb, the driver who rear-ends the one in front is to blame. They were not arguing though. She accepted she should have waited for a bigger gap and had been too impatient. He agreed he'd been going a bit fast and might have been quicker on the brakes. They exchanged names and addresses. He was David Gray and had his insurance details with him. But she had left hers at home. Then he asked for Doris's phone number. She thought that was a bit odd, but he was kind of cute.

***

Maureen sipped it and grinned at him.

"You're right! It's very smooth! Now I'm being a good girl - is that better?"

"Actually I rather like bad girls. There is one naughty way you can drink single malt and only sip a little at a time. But it's really quite wicked. I don't want to get you into trouble; well, not too much trouble!"

"Try me."

"Close your eyes and open your mouth then."

She did. Ade took a mouthful of Bowmore -- his own, not hers. He sealed his lips over hers and slid his tongue into her mouth. Then he let the liquid go, a drop at a time. Her tongue twirled against his and she swallowed whisky and saliva -- little by little. Sensing her compliance, his hand crept all the way up her thigh. As it reached her panties he slipped it under her crotch. Her legs opened to accommodate him without her even thinking about it. What he was feeling was warm, and very wet.

The kiss lasted almost five minutes. Half way through Maureen reached behind his neck and pulled him in closer, then raised the leg nearest to him and got her foot on the stool's rung. With the whole target area open to him, Ade slid a finger past her gusset and into her vagina. She moaned. If Doris didn't arrive soon, she wouldn't be responsible for her actions.

"See, that was nice and warm." he said.

She licked her lips and the barman spoke.

"I think you two should get a room and celebrate the lady's birthday in comfort. While you're thinking about it, please go and take a table, in the corner.

They took what was left of their drinks to the table where Ade had been sitting when she came in. Two men and a woman came into the bar.

***

Their debate at the scene of the crash was now louder. They were still not angry, but had to raise their voices above the cacophony from the stationary vehicles. The din was interrupted by sirens and flashing lights. A police car, coming from the opposite direction, pulled over in front of Doris's car. Two officers got out and one held up his hand to stop the traffic. Then he waved forward the first of the backlog building up behind Mr Gray's Volvo. The other officer inspected the damage. Volvo's are built like tanks and this one only had a crumpled front bumper. Doris's Ford was looking more damaged.

***

"So that's what the bad girls do is it?" said Maureen.

"That's part of it. Really wicked girls wait till I go and get fresh drinks and they slip out to the toilets and take their bra and knickers off. But I doubt if you'll dare do that if you're really waiting for a friend. Are you?"

She looked at her watch.

"God, it's nearly six thirty! What's happened to her?"

Maureen was like a bitch on heat. She had never behaved like this before. It wasn't her fault; birthday blues and whisky. She didn't know what to do, so she would let fate decide for her.

"Here's the plan then." she said. "I do need to go to the loo, and you can buy me one more drink. If my friend arrives, I have to go -- sorry. But if she isn't here by six fortyfive, you can take me home in a taxi. It's not far and I'll make it worth your while."

***

"We've got your car back into the carpark madam, but you'll have to call for recovery assistance." said the officer.

"Why?" asked Doris. "It will drive ok. I'll clean up the broken glass."

"I'm afraid you cannot proceed on the highway with broken brake lights."

"But I have an important meeting at the Plough."

"Well you can probably get a tow there. I'll get the station to call a rescue vehicle."

"What about me?" asked Mr Gray.

"No significant damage to your vehicle sir. You may go."

***

Maureen sipped her whisky; was this her third or fourth? Her nipples were prominent now her bra was in her handbag. And she was a little concerned that she was creating a damp patch on the back of her skirt. Who cared? She'd been let down by everybody; even Doris had forgotten. And now there was no reason why she shouldn't have some fun. Every girl deserves an orgasm on her birthday. And Maureen's orgasm wasn't far away. Ade was staring at her nipples and could hardly fail to notice she had undone another button on her blouse - or was it two?

"You can order us a taxi." she said.

"Excuse me being so forward, but I ordered one while you were in the Ladies'. It'll be here any moment."

The cab driver had seen couples like this before; though not usually this early in the evening. They were flushed and giggling and the tart's unfettered tits were nearly falling out of her shirt. She looked like she'd turned her skirt over at the waist. He tilted his mirror and got a brief view of Maureen's vagina as she flopped into the seat, and her knees parted. The guy joined her and and tried to squeeze both her tits at once. He soon got tired of that and his hand pushed her skirt all the way up to her belly. There was another glimpse of paradise and then he covered it, appearing to get at least two fingers up there. Lucky bastard -- she was really pretty!

"I see you liked my suggestion. I can't wait to taste it."

"There are two rules." Maureen whispered. "The most important is when my husband calls you must remain absolutely silent. No kissing or squeezing -- just back off. If he thinks I've brought a man home, he'll kill both of us."

"What's the second?"

"No need to prolong the agony; I'm almost coming now. Just fuck me hard and fast. And when you come, say 'Happy Birthday!'."

"Can I stay all night?"

"I'll be disappointed if you don't!"

***

"But your car shouldn't be on the road," said the driver. "I have to take you to the garage."

"Please can you just stop at the pub carpark? I'll only be a minute. I have to tell my friend why I'm late."

She jumped out and ran into the pub.

"Has my friend been in?"

"Is she a busty girl - short skirt?"

"Er, yes."

"You just missed her. I don't think she'll want to see you though. Not unless she's into threesomes."

"What?"

The truck horn sounded.

"Oh, never mind; I have to go."

***

Maureen's blouse was off before she reached the sofa. She pulled her skirt up to her breasts and sat in the middle, with her heels on the leather. Ade stood in front of her and she pulled his trousers and pants off quicker than he could have done it himself.

She sucked in about half his dick. Then she reached round his buttocks, pulled, and sucked in the rest. Moments later she took it out and grasped the base firmly. Squeezing tight, she slid her forefinger and thumb up to the head. A drop of glistening pre-cum emerged and she licked it off.

"Now fuck me!" she said hoarsely

He shoved her knees further apart and thrust into her vagina. Two minutes later she climaxed and gripped his arse. She dug her fingernails in as she pulled him deeper. Then went off like a hand grenade.

"Happy birthday!" he yelled.

"Happy birthday!" came the reply. The kitchen door burst open and in came her boss and workmates. There were balloons - and silly string coiled over her breasts. Then silence as the revellers took in the scenario. Her husband stepped forward, white-faced.