All Comments on 'Happy Birthday Jinny'

It's Jenny ' s birthday but this seems more about Amanda. Needed more about what was going on with Jenny. Jack could have used a few more words to develop him. He seemed little more than an implement from their toybox. Amanda is the most developed but sorry to say came across a bit psycho, not firm mistress or lustfull girlfriend. You have potential. Eager to see what you write next.