All Comments on 'Happy Birthday, Mrs. Freemont!'

half of it is about not finding directions, how is it relevant to the story? a piece of crappy writing. Don't give up your day job.

don't listen to the naysayers. You have talent. stick with it.

Good story. I'd like to see another with John and Amy.

for sure there shoud be another part to this story it could be great. "jakk"

in response to the person who wrote asking about the first half of the story and voted 0 its called a plot something that sometimes if not moretimes than not in these stories is left out it makes the story more realistic which is a good thing i think . "jakk"

I thought this was great. Totally turned on by doing the friend's mom! There should be a sequel. Don't listen to the punk who criticized your writing, the build up made it better.

This story needs a sequel....badly! Amy and her husband don't have sex anymore, and she is still young enough to make a sibling for Paul, and you have given her a romp in bed that she thoroughly enjoyed. Go back to her when Paul ain't around and give her that little seed in her belly that will make it swell, move her out away from her limp-dicked hubby and give her the desire to be good wife for you and a good mommy for you two's baby.

I really can't think of enough superlatives to describe your writing & I hope to see, very soon, another story with John & Amy heating up the sheets, a blanket, the sand or the BARE GROUND! The next time, I don't really think that John needs the other band members cramping his style, though.

I just had to leave a few words of appreciation to all you guys who enjoyed my short story. Thanks so much, I'm really glad you liked it!

To those who didn't: Too bad, but you are of course entitled to your opinion. My response to the comment about the part about "not getting directions" being irrelevant: For one thing I wanted the story to have a proper build-up, otherwise it would just be two people without a background going at it (i.e. porn). Second, the story is about John being completely taken by surprise by his friend's hot mom, so starting out with the car ride is my way of setting the reader into John's mood - he's not expecting a romp in the sack that afternoon...

As for a sequel, I definately think one is coming up pretty soon. There are a few ideas brewing in my head, but I haven't decided on one yet... If the next one is equally well received though, it might even evolve into a series! :)

Comments and suggestions are very much welcome and appreciated! Any ideas or wished about setting and/or environment? Any special situation you'd like to see John and Amy in? And what about the clothing, accessories etc? How did you like the satin and pearls? Something else that could highlight Amy's mature body? Or something for John, perhaps? Just drop me a line!

Using italics to indicate dialogue? Isn't that what quotes are for? And the whole Rand McNally thing at the beginning made no sense at all. But writing comments on your own story is a nice touch.

Not enough of action with Amy. She definitely needs to get pregnant, hopelfully with several of her horny firneds.

You've been absent too long!

Brilliant story, I liked that it had a plot unlike a lot of other stories on here; that makes it a lot more erotic.

This story is a perfect example of writing and not just of sex as Mr. anonymous who gave you zero would have liked. it was a great plot with a nice build up and a wonderful sex scene. i liked the progression of things and it was as good as reading an excerpt from a Jane Austen book. i also liked the fact that you appreciate your readers and their comments and welcome them whether good or bad. as for a sequel bring out the sister in a chapter. she was missing after the introduction. you may say she heard everything and was a viewer to the whole thing as she was following him to talk to him and see if he had any interest in her cause she was attracted to him. then bring her in as a blackmailer to break up the band with the news if he doesn't do what she says. i have more ideas on developing this if your interested

This story is a perfect example of writing and not just of sex as Mr. anonymous who gave you zero would have liked. it was a great plot with a nice build up and a wonderful sex scene. i liked the progression of things and it was as good as reading an excerpt from a Jane Austen book. i also liked the fact that you appreciate your readers and their comments and welcome them whether good or bad. as for a sequel bring out the sister in a chapter. she was missing after the introduction. you may say she heard everything and was a viewer to the whole thing as she was following him to talk to him and see if he had any interest in her cause she was attracted to him. then bring her in as a blackmailer to break up the band with the news if he doesn't do what she says. i have more ideas on developing this if your interested

' 'Not here. I don't want to do this in an uncomfortable bathroom', she said with a wet look in her eyes." '

Very nice! Brings back a similar memory.