Happy Nude Year

Being dateless on New Year's Eve has the aptly named Batricia planning to watch the city's New Year's Day celebration on TV. She's in no mood for visiting a sports pub tonight although she likes the hot wings and beer selection in her favorite sports pub.

Visually a man might consider Batricia enticing with her plump, inverted-heart shape ass and hour-glass figure. That's if a woman who is less than cover-girl or calendar-model material can arouse him. She looks like the horny, geeky woman she is--like one of the women who tag along with their more glamorous friends on "girls' nights out." Actually, for any interested men her simplicity and earthiness are her sex appeal.

Batricia's visage screams "Please fuck me now!" This is what the title character of a porn parody she had streamed earlier in the week, "Desperately Horny Susan," had screamed. With her insane sex drive and perpetually wet, dick-starved pussy, Batricia identifies with the character's trisexuality--willingness to try anything sexual.

Visually, the caramel-complexioned Batricia is also who you might expect to meet in a bookstore or coffee shop with her round glasses with black frames; naturally curly, black, shoulder-length hair; wide mouth with luscious lips that part when she's amused or feeling naughty into a toothy grin; brown, almond-shape eyes and an upturned nose.

Batricia is what could be called a "PGILF" ("Plain girl I'd like to fuck") if such a category were named. When she is nude and horny you see her other tantalizing assets besides her butt: Her medium-size breasts have small areola and dark-brown nipples poking prominently and resembling brown erasers. Her pubic hair is shaven into a landing strip pattern. She has a protruding and elongated clit resembling a tiny penis. Her pussy has thick labia from which her cream oozes copiously.

Besides her visual aspects hindrances to Batricia's dating life have been her being brainy and quirky. Batricia is well-read and can converse intelligently on various subjects and tends to strike many who meet her as being weird. Because intelligent women intimidate so many men, Batricia being a brainiac "weirdo" has crimped her romantic and sex life and meant more "me time" for her than she would like.

Of course, that "me time" includes much masturbating with her sex drive as it is. That is how it is on this New Year's Eve, with Batricia on her sofa enjoying a slice of the large, deluxe pizza she picked up on the way home. Flashing onto the screen of her big screen TV are the opening credits to a B-movie titled "Attack of the Killer Butterflies."

Batricia bites into the pizza slice while at once closing her eyes and smiling in delight. "Mmm," she says aloud. "If only my sex life was as satisfying as pizza from Bombadino's." She chuckles. After finishing the pizza slice and washing it down with iced tea, Batricia burps loudly. She says "Excuse ME" to herself and then chuckles. "I like leftover pizza," she says before chuckling further.

Returning her focus to the starting movie, Batricia thinks aloud "Nothing like a B-grade horror flick to ease the mind." Lost in the absurdity of the movie she forgets about the women in her workplace who disparage, ridicule and avoid her; how poorly run her company is, her overbearing boss, the lousy pay for the work required of her team; the men who reject her because of her quirkiness, braininess and not meeting their beauty standards; her mother often belittling her, her father's aloofness, etc.

The movie is just what the doctor ordered and is so hilariously bad Batricia's face is wet with tears from her laughing so hard by the time its closing credits start scrolling. After catching her breath, she thinks aloud with a chuckle, "That was definitely NOT a Turner classic" followed by further chuckling.

At 11 pm. Batricia resumes channel surfing. She stops on a cooking show on the food channel because she finds amusing the pretty, slender, brunette host's "valley girl" enunciation (pronouncing "butter" as "BUTT-errr"). This is strange and arousing to Batricia, who is easily aroused.

The host, who appears to be in her 20s, says later in the demonstration about addition of another ingredient, "This is the magic in the recipe. It makes the dish SO GOOood."

Being the dirty-minded, pervy woman she is, Batricia's mind connects "butter" to jism and pussy cream and imagines the host saying "butter" and "SO GOOood" in description of jism or the host's or another woman's lady cream.

Batricia imagines long ropes of white jism (baby butter) fiilling the host's wide-open mouth and gaping pussy.

Batricia imagines the "butter" splattering the host's face, hair, breasts, lower back and ass.

Batricia imagines the host saying "It's SO GOOod" after swallowing the "butter" that spurted into her mouth from a long, hard, dick she has sucked to an explosive finish.

Batricia imagines the host grinning deviously while watching a man masturbate and ejaculate onto some food and the host then eating it and saying "Oh, my GAWD! This is SO GOOod! Your BUTT-err adds SO much FLAvor-r!" Batricia says aloud "I'd like to try that." Thinking about what she said she says "Oh, my god! I'm so perverted!"

Batricia then wonders how the cooking show host's pussy looks and whether it was moist during the show's filming. She imagines her and the host nude together, her tonguing the host's pussy, them dildoing and tribbing each other to explosive mutual orgasms and them moaning, gasping and whimpering throughout.

Batricia imagines her in the host sharing a man and sharing his jism by tongue-kissing after he has come into their mouths.

By 11 p.m., Batricia is now sitting spread-legged on the sofa in the short night shirt she is wearing without panties. Her dirty thoughts have her pussy dripping, and she jokingly yells breathily while looking down and seeing the dripping pussy juice "Bad pussy! You behave!" She spanks it once, causing a squish.

Batricia suddenly recalls some of the hotter scenes from "Desperately Horny Susan" and moans. One scene, a "bukkake" scene, had Susan sucking and being fucked in all holes by five men she pulled from a park and then being covered with their flying jism. Another had Susan teaching an all-nude, coed, community college human sexuality class and showing and describing parts of her pussy and how it responds to sexual arousal and stimulation to the class. She masturbates and is later fucked by a male volunteer before the class, and eventually the whole class engages in an orgy.

At 11:30 p.m. Batricia decides it would be fun to ring in the new year with an orgasm, even if it's one she must give herself. She turns to the local channel showing a live telecast of the city's New Year's Eve festivities. She rises from the sofa and walks to her bathroom, where she retrieves a towel before reentering the living room.

Batricia lays the towel on the sofa cushion, removes her nightshirt and sits nude spread-legged on the sofa. Her nipples are as hard as bullets and her pussy is drooling like Pavlov's dogs.

Moaning, Batricia pinches her erect nipples and squeezes her breasts. She bows her head and lifts her breasts to her mouth and sucks on her nipples one at a time. She does this for a while until her pussy can no longer wait for attention.

Batricia dips one, then two and then three fingers into her pussy. She then pulls out her fingers that are coated with her copiously flowing nectar and sucks them clean before reinserting them. She again pulls out her fingers, briefly raises her butt from the cushion so her grool can drip into the palm of her hand.

Batricia licks her pussy nectar from her hand and then replants her fingers in her flaming pussy.

The room is filled with the slurping sounds of Batricia's wet pussy and her gasps and moans as she rubs her clit. "Oh, fuck!" she says.

By 11:55 p.m. Batricia is furiously masturbating on her sofa. She thrusts three fingers in her creaming pussy. Her pussy loudly queefs (farts) in time with her moaning and gasping. Anyone who stood outside her front door could hear the queefing, and she wishes and thinks it would be so hot if someone would.

It is now 11:59 and Batricia is in a masturbation frenzy, sounding like a wild animal as she rubs, fingers and spanks her pussy. Her pussy is queefing loudly and creaming onto the towel. She would be a hot spectacle if anyone could see her.

Batricia's legs are spread over the sofa arms and thick cream is flowing out of her queefing pussy as her eyes roll upward into their lids making her look demonically possessed. All the while she is moaning, gasping and yelling: "Oh-h-h!" "Oh, fuck!" "Oh, shit!"

At 11:59:50 the countdown starts: "10, 9, 8, 7..."

When the clock strikes 12 a.m. the celebrants on TV yell "Happy New Year!" as the furiously masturbating Batricia yells "Happy Nude Year" with her voice cracking and her pussy exploding in time with the fireworks, squirting hot juices above her head. Throughout her intense orgasm she moans, grunts and yells: "Mmh!" "Mmm!" "Oh, God!" "Ugh!" "Gasp!" "Oh, shit!" "Oh, fuck!"

Batricia, amid the after-quivers, says breathlessly "Well, I guess you could say orgasms are the safest fireworks, and they're all legal too."