Hard Landing Ch. 06

"It's okay. I'm glad to see you again too."

Jo and Blue got in the back seat and Jack drove them out of Bethesda into D.C., talking up a storm, asking Jo every question he could think of. When they pulled over to the curb in Chinatown, Jo was almost wishing they'd taken a cab. Not that she wasn't happy to see Jack, but she was feeling overwhelmed.

"Thanks, Jack," Blue said. "I'll call you in a couple hours to pick us up, okay?"

"You got it, Jill. I'm going to find a sports bar when I can grab a bite and watch the Nat's game, so I'll be close." He pulled away from the curb.

Blue linked her elbow through Jo's arm as they started walking down the street, the late May evening warm and pleasant. "You know, I've been fantasizing about taking you to all my favorite places in D.C. once you came back from Afghanistan and now here we are."

"Not quite how I imagined it would be," Jo said sourly, slouching over and looking down at her foot.

"Collins, they may be kicking you out soon, but you're still a U.S. Army Warrant Officer until they do. Fucking stand up straight and carry yourself like one," Little admonished her.

Shut up, Little! Jesus! she thought. But she stiffened her spine anyway.

Blue didn't notice her preoccupation. "It's not how I imagined it either." Blue paused on the street and turned Jo to face her, "But you're here. You're alive. And you're with me and we can figure out what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. Together, okay?"

Jo finally looked up and smiled at her. "Okay, Blue."

"Good. And here we are, which is good, I'm hungry." She kissed Jo, then took her hand and walked her the last steps to the end of the block and the restaurant there.

Jaleo's was the best tapas restaurant in D.C. Blue had called ahead and reserved one of the outside tables on the sidewalk. She ordered a pitcher of white sangria for them to share.

"I talked to Diane and she said if we keep it to one or two, you can have a drink tonight. You've been off your pain meds for a couple of weeks, but she still wants you to take it easy." Diane was Jo's treatment coordinator at Reed.

"You're just taking charge of me, aren't you?"

"If I hadn't taken charge in the pool at Virginia Beach, do you think we'd be here now?"

"Point." Jo raised her glass and Blue clinked it before they drank, smiling at each other.

Two hours and a dozen empty plates of tapas later, Jo had finally relaxed a little. Blue propped up her elbow on the low back of her chair and leaned her head on her fist.

"So... what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. We could walk around some more?"

Blue started idly stroking Jo's right calf with the toe of her boot under the table. "No, I mean what do you want to do? Diane said you'll probably be discharged from Reed in June or July and they'll process your retirement soon after that. So, what do you want to do?"

"Oh." Jo looked down at her hands in her lap. "I have no idea."

"Well, let's talk about it. Do you want to fly? I know you don't want to do charter work. Do you want to do what your dad does? The electrical line thing?"

"No, there's not enough of that work for me to do it too. Dad's only part time these days really." All the stress she'd lost from her shoulders during the dinner had come rushing back.

"What about doing medical flights? There's lots of places that have helicopter ambulances, right?"

Jo watched the traffic on the street for a while. "Maybe," she finally said. "Those jobs are hard to get. I might have to start in Idaho or Arkansas or something."

"Then we move to Idaho or Arkansas, if that's what you want."

Jo snorted. "I don't want you to have to move to Arkansas, Blue."

"Well, I don't either. But I think we need to start thinking about what comes next. Let's think shorter term. What about the band?"

"What? What do you mean 'what about the band'?"

"This year's beach tour is just eight weeks away. Do you want to go with Steve, Suzanne and Larry again this year? You don't have anything on your calendar, after all."

"Why do we have to talk about this now?" she asked Blue.

"Because we've been living together in hospitals for two months and we haven't talked once about what we want afterwards. We've just been focusing on each small step, one day at a time. I think we should start thinking about longer term. Do you want to move into my apartment with me? Do you want to go home to your house at your dad's farm? Do you want me to come with you? Do you want to go there alone?"

That brought Jo up short. "I... I don't know where I want to go. I know I want you with me wherever we go. Do you not want me to live with you?"

"Of course I want to be with you! I mean I've stayed by your side for two months, doesn't that sort of indicate my preference?"

"I guess. I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with. I didn't want to assume anything."

"Okay, see this is the kind of stuff we need to talk about. But we don't have to decide it all now, I just want you to be thinking about it. Now, do you feel like staying out longer or do you want to go home?"

"What'd you have in mind?"

"There's some live music a couple blocks over if you want to go to that. Nothing wild. A jazz guitarist who's supposed to be pretty good."

"Guitar..." Jo was suddenly uncertain again. "I think I want to go home. I've enjoyed being out with you, but I think it's been a bit much for me my first night out."

Blue stood and held her hand out. "Okay. I don't want to push you." She called Jack and ten minutes later they were in his car heading out of Chinatown.

"Wait, this is... are we not going back to Reed?" Jo said looking out the window as they drove through Adams Morgan.

"We will. Tomorrow morning," Blue said as they pulled up to her apartment building. "Thanks for the ride, Jack! Glad the Nats are winning," Blue called as she pulled Jo out of the car.

"See you later, Jo! Bye, Jill!" Jack called out the window as he pulled away.

"So, we're staying here tonight, huh?"

"Yep!" She hooked her arm through Jo's again and pulled her up the steps. "I just have to have you back for your first PT session and it's not until 9:30 in the morning."

Once inside Blue's apartment, the memories of the short day they spent together here back in January flooded back into her mind for the first time since she'd woken up from her coma. She knew that they'd done something the night after she sang to Blue, but she hadn't been able to remember details.

Now she recalled that most of the time they'd been here together, they'd been naked. Jo turned several shades of red thinking about it.

Blue led Jo into the bedroom. "Get yourself undressed. I'll be back in a second," she told Jo.

Jo pulled her pants and shirt off and sat on the edge of the bed to take her 'foot' off. She was in her usual boy shorts underwear and her tank top when Blue opened the bathroom door.

She was wearing the lace socks Jo had bought for her in Virginia Beach, but somewhere she'd found a matching underwear set. The white lace panties were high cut and had little bows on the hips in the same powder blue ribbon that was woven through the cuffs of her socks. The bra was matching lace and virtually see through. She struck a pose, leaning against the door frame and rubbing one foot up and down her other leg. She looked breathtaking, with her cascade of blue hair draped over her shoulder, covering one arm.

Jo looked at her and her lip quivered, then tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Jo! What's wrong?!" Blue was quickly at her side. She sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around her. "It's okay! If you aren't ready it's okay! I'm sorry, I just thought we haven't, you know, since your crash, we haven't had any privacy or time alone and I thought..."

"No... it's..." she was struggling to control herself as she held onto to Blue. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just... I wasn't sure..."

Blue pulled back and put her fingers under Jo's chin to raise it up so she would meet her eyes. "Jo. You weren't sure about what?"

Jo met her eyes for a second then looked down again, as a tear dripped off her nose. She whispered something.

"Jo, what? I couldn't hear you."

She whispered again, barely louder. "I didn't know if you would still want me."

"What? What on earth? Why would you say that?!"

"I'm... I'm maimed, Blue! I'm disfigured!" she cried out, gesturing to her leg. "I feel like only part of the person I was, and I have this huge scar on my stomach where they put the piece of my skull, and I have this huge scar on the back of my head where they took it out, and I'm missing half my leg, and I didn't know... I wasn't sure... you'd... still... want me." She started crying harder, burying her face in Blue's hair.

Blue just held her while she cried herself out. When she stopped, Blue reached up, and cradled the back of Jo's head with one hand, her fingertips gently stroking the line of the scar beneath her hair, and pulled her in for a kiss. She made it last, caressing Jo's tongue with her own. Then she pulled back and stared into Jo's eyes.

"Jo. I love you. And of course, I want you. I want you so badly. I've wanted to make love to you for weeks but I wanted you to be ready. Physically and emotionally. Every day when I help you shower I have to restrain myself from being all over you."

"Really?" Jo whispered. She seemed desperate to believe it.

"Really, Jo. You're so beautiful to me," she started pulling Jo's tank top off, "and I've needed to get my hands all over this body since the day you left me at BWI. Nothing about that has changed."

She pushed Jo onto her back and ran her hands over Jo's abs, then stopped to trace the line of her scar there. It was about six inches long, running up vertically just to the right of her navel. Blue leaned down and licked Jo's stomach, tracing her tongue around Jo's belly button, drawing an intake of breath from her Army girl. She looked up at Jo as she licked the line of her scar.

"This doesn't make you any less beautiful, Jo. It's a part of you, a part of your journey through life. A journey that brought you here. Back to me. Right now, in this moment."

Blue got up on her knees on the bed. With one hand she grabbed Jo's fingers and with the other she pulled her panties to the side. She pulled Jo's hand towards her and guided Jo's fingers between her legs. Blue was soaking wet, and Jo's fingers easily slid inside her.

"Do you believe me now, Jo?" She gasped.

Jo felt the hungry look come over her face. The look she'd had in the pool in Virginia Beach when Blue had taken off her bikini top. The look she'd given Blue when she'd come out of the bathroom wearing these socks the next night.

"My god, Blue... What did I do to deserve you?" Jo said as Blue rocked against her hand.

"I told you," Blue said, panting. "You've deserved more than you've let yourself have." She moved down, and Jo made an unhappy sound as her fingers slid out of Blue's pussy. "But now, I'm going to show you just how much I want you."

She lowered her head between Jo's legs and licked at her. Jo sucked her breath in again. Blue lifted Jo's legs over her shoulders. As she continued to stroke Jo's clit with her tongue, Jo started rubbing Blue's back with her feet. Well, with her foot and her other leg.

Blue paused in her oral ministrations and slid a finger into Jo while saying, "Jo, there's no one... no one, who's hotter to me than you are."

Jo finally had enough of being passive. She grabbed Blue's shoulders, pulling her up and flipping her over onto her back while rolling on top of her. Blue rewarded Jo's effort with a surprised "Eep!" but managed to keep her fingers inside Jo. Jo quickly joined her, stroking Blue's clit with her hand. They were kissing frantically as they approach their orgasms together, Blue running her free hand into Jo's hair and grabbing a fistful.

"That's my Jo," Blue said, panting. As the wave crashed over them both, they pressed their foreheads together, crying out and holding on to each other as if it were their first time.

Much later, as they lay in the afterglow of their lovemaking, Blue rested her head on Jo's shoulder, idly stroking her stomach and tracing the scar there with her fingers. She said, "So I've been thinking. You've making amazing progress in your physical recovery, don't you think? I mean you're walking and you only had to use that cane for like a week."

"Yeah, I guess so," Jo said, tangling her hand in Blue's hair, watching it as she twirled a lock of it around her fingers.

"Only because Tony made you use it that long." Little hadn't been a fan of the cane.

"But I think we need to focus more on the other parts of your recovery. You need to get your self-confidence back."

Jo dropped Blue's hair and flopped her hands to the bed. "Fuck, don't I know it. I'm gun shy about everything these days. I was terrified just walking out of the front door of the hospital tonight. I'm terrified of trying to think about the future. I'm terrified when... I just seem to be terrified all the time."

It was a startling admission. The old Jo would never have said it out loud before the crash. Or even to herself. It was a testament to both how well her sessions with Dr. Allen were going and how much she'd opened up since coming out of her coma, but also how insecure she'd become.

"I don't know... Every time I think about the future... I just freeze up. I've never been like this before. When I decided I wanted to be a pilot in the Army, I just charged straight ahead and beat down anything that got in my way. I wasn't afraid of anything. Now all I can do is obsess about what's in my way or what could go wrong instead of trying to figure out what I want and how to get it."

Blue sat up. "When you started getting all... muscle-y, did you do it by yourself or did you have a trainer?"

Jo laughed. "I had the best trainer of all, Drill Sergeant Evans and sixteen weeks of basic training."

"Okay, then, I'm going to be your drill sergeant, starting tomorrow. I'm going to whip you back into confident Jo."

Jo managed to look both amused and apprehensive at the same time. "My drill sergeant, huh? What's your plan for beating all this doubt out of my head?"

"Did your drill sergeant in basic tell you everything they were going to do to you for the next sixteen weeks the first day you got to basic?"

Jo snorted. "They didn't tell us what we were going to be doing five minutes ahead of time."

"Well then, I'm not telling you anything except that I have a three-part plan for you. We'll start tomorrow after your day of PT is over but before you group session."

Jo closed her eyes and threw her arm over her face. "Is it stupid that I'm afraid of trying to do something that will make me less afraid of trying to do things?"

Blue hugged her fiercely. "No, that's not stupid. You've been through something that could have killed you. Would have killed most people. But being courageous isn't about not being afraid. It's being afraid and then doing it anyway. You don't need me to tell you that, though. You probably know that better than I ever could. But I'm going to be with you every step of the way."

Jo started to tear up again. "I don't know if I'd have made it through all this without you, Blue. I'm still not sure I will."

"You will. You've been telling the world that you're the strong one all your life, even when you were hiding pain. Now your brain just isn't letting you hide it anymore, so it's easier for both yourself and others to see it and you have to adjust to that."

"I know... I hate it."

"I know you do. But it'll get better."

Jo sniffed. "I just wish I wasn't so up and down all the time."

Blue grinned at her. "That's all part of the song, Jo."

"What?"

Blue started singing.

"I'm feeling the way you cross my mind, and you save me in the nick of time!

I'm riding the highs! I'm digging the lows!

'Cause at least I feel alive!"

Jo grinned back at Blue, then reached out to twirl a lock of her blue hair around her finger again, and joined her with the harmony.

"I've never f-a-a-a-c-e-d, so many emotional d-a-a-a-y-s!

But my, life is good! I'm feeling y-o-o-o-u-u-u!"

To be continued.