by Dorado
Not sexy at all. In fact I think of this story when I'm having sex so I won't cum too quickly.
Rambles with no sense of direction. Good start but no follow through.
well written, and I appreciate the slow tease and his attempt, albeit weakening, at restraint.
While I'm a very big fan of story and plot to my erotic literature, you can arrive at a point where you're no longer teasing you're just leading. I was hoping for a great romp on page 2 and well, nothing happened. If you're just starting out I have some praise for your build up, but as you've written before you should know you left us sitting without the glow of arousal but the painful sting of a blunt end with no fun.
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I may have the lexicon to write, the grammatical skills, even the will and want; but I refrain because I don't want to produce something like what you did here.
To summarize, a full chapter of this story could be paraphrased as "sister-in-law moves in, brother-in-law lives with a perpetual hard-on, sister doesn't seem to mind," and not a lot more, ...