All Comments on 'Harem Sisters Pt. 01'

I like the way this story is starting. There’s a lot of room for it to grow.

Great First chapter, I'm very interested to see where you take it.

Which was filled with run-on sentences. Skimming through the story, that seems to be the norm.

Hot story, look forward to the next instalment. Just be careful when you start a new series. In one sentence Tori refers to her brother as Nick instead of Jace or Jason

Good writing, good story, but the way he felt about his Sister and he just smile and acted all brotherly killed it for me. We can guess the conclusion that with this being an incest story but where was an detachedness from him that would have made it better in the long run when she seduce him eventually.

Can’t wait for next instalment. Needs editing though

Next chapter he gets drunk and fucks both Vicky and Tori, maybe even Liz after watching Liz and Vicky have some incestuous lesbian sex.

Excellent story so far, looking forward to more!

Like the message from Anonymous, I also stopped reading at the first paragraph. I'm not going to fight through four pages of a story that follows few accepted rules of punctuation.

Oh BOY, Oh Boy

Can’t wait for the next fucking

Too many misspelled words and broken sentences. Get a proof reader.

What a great start, when you got to the sex and the descriptions of the girls I was hooked. Great writing and i'm looking forward to the rest of the series

if the rest is as good as this, it shall be even better!

Good beginning looking forward to where it goes.

Well written back story and characters. Brief but hot sex scenes that offer tantalizing hints of what's to come.

I'm ready for chapter 2. Good job Darth_Aussie !!!!

The story is worthy of picking up from the beginning. The plot line hangs well for the genre, the characters believable, the foreshadowing moments fit neatly into the storyline, and with very few spelling or grammar deficiencies. It's working quite well after having completed the first 16 parts and I look forward to seeing more.

A nice start. I like a slow burn and the characters are building nicely. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it.

The story is good. But I wonder, if you had friends living 2 floors down, how would you visit if your key card will only alow you access to your floor the lobby and the Garage.

Very good start, looking forward to see how this develops! Lots of promise from the first chapter.

"off of

"off of"??? wtf??

it's either on or off

I sure am glad there’s another chapter l I am enjoying this. One thing I did notice, I believe you’re using a computer spellchecker. Because it’s spelling some words improperly although they are phonetically correct. if you need a good proofreader look up Old Al.I would be more than honored to help you.

I have to ask ONE OF THE MENY ANONYMOUS….the one who wrote about “off of”. , what ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I am NOT trying to give you crap. I have honestly thought about what you wrote , and I am so very confused

Off of is a very legitimate part of a sentence…. For example” Get of of the table”, she said to her cat.

You know, it goes forever…Some might be wishing I would get off of this topic. hee hee. See what I mean?

So if you could let me in on your comment, one old guy would sleep just a bit better.

Okay, not your problem (I am guessing) but there's absolutely no incest involved in this chapter other than his sister being topless in the same hot tub. I don't mind a series having incest, but lumping this in as "incest" if a stretch. Its not even a taboo subject.

Also, I am hopeful you address the past history because even if Tor is nice now does not excuse her past bad behavior. Plus, she's lived the life of a spoiled princess while he seems to have been treated as a second thought by his parents. Now he's back living off of his parents which is probably going to generate more snark from his dad.

5 stars. - a retired Vicky. lol

Today I have finished all your stories. I found them a year ago but stupidly did not log into the site. Could you please tell me if you are going to build on the 3 series. I would very much like to read them.

I do understand that some idiots want to read for free if that happens, but as a musician why should you not get paid for your creative ideas.

As I mentioned this is new to me so I hope I can keep an eye open for any more episodes, but from past experience I do know how long they take to write.

If anyone complains send them a worn down crayon to suck on.

Okay I know you are not going to read this or care, but you wrote a prologue where the MC has been abused by the people closest to him, his closest friends betrayed his trust and his family treated him like he was an afterthought at best, you spend paragraphs setting this up and the MC just shrugs and accepts it like it’s nothing and just walks back into his sisters life like nothing happens and treats her like she’s perfect, like everyone else has treated her. This is the most jarring prologue to act 1 I’ve seen in a while and makes entry into your series very poor for people that don’t know what’s already going to happen. If you delve into it cool, but for a light hearted harem/incest story it serves no value and can just be handled with a simple “me and my family never really were close, they doted on my sister, while me and her never really got a long. Which sucks because my girlfriend just cheated on me and now I’m stuck having to go back home to my family to rebuild”

i had to come back and read again whilst waiting!!

Great, sexy set-up with how you slated Vicky to satisfy him and curiously, how much Tori sweetened as she matured. Some of Tori's actions hint at sexy hijinks from her to come. 5

Sincerely hope there's more foreplay in the future installments. Having the dude walk into the shower and basically just slam it home is so unrealistic and would be painful for both of them. Water is not lubrication, especially for big dicks.

@anonymous. You are correct water is terrible to try and use as lube and if she’s dry then it will definitely be painful. However, given everything that’s happened and all the flirting and teasing, the chances of her being wet already are high.

Amazing start to the series! I like everything about it, very well done and thank you Darth Aussie!

“off of" ?

Despite what old uncle Al says below, this is NEVER a grammatically-valid construct.

It is however, a glaring example of either ignorance or illiteracy.

For example” Get OFF the table”, she said to her cat.

Or, with emphasis:” Get off the bloody table or I will show you what the microwave looks like from the inside.”

Yes, it's either on or off. NOT 'Get off of".

(you MAY be able to say "get off on a vibrator or a dildo or a porn clip" but you wouldn't say "get off on a table" would you?

Thank you for an interesting start to what looks like a good yarn.

Do we meet Abi again somewhere down the line? She seems very nice.

That was a great read. I'm looking forward to reading the next section.

Poor Vadar. SO self-righteous in his error. "The of is often criticized as superfluous, a comment that is irrelevant because off of is an idiom." qouth Merriam-Webster.

"Off of" is perfectly valid. It's also entirely irrelevant as it's understandable and has no bearing on the story itself. So you write what, and how, you wish. Maybe when some people have ANY story at all, they'll be in a position to whine.

So far, pretty good - thank you.

good, frustrating, want more!

Super...

Nice, I like it. AAAAAA++++++

Sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship, with benefits obviously, or something much more! A great start to what promises to be a well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading the next chapter. As this is my first foray into your writing and the first story you posted here I have added you to my favorites list. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Very good