Harper’s Reckoning

I opened the door, shut it behind me, and rested my back against it. I breathed deeply, not from the walk, but from the thought of what I now had planned. I grabbed a garbage bag from the kitchen and went from room to room. In the lounge I picked up a photo of me and my spouse. It was taken on our wedding day, which gave me pause, but then I put it in the bag. My desire was in control now and it seemed to be doing a good job of suppressing any guilt. For now at least. I couldn't help but add that rider. Once I had done, I put the bag in the garage. Mia knew I was married, but I didn't want this fact rubbed in her face; or in mine, if I was honest about it. I wanted to pretend I wasn't, and the thought of the deception excited me. I went back upstairs and made the master bed. Finally, I stripped the guest bed. Happy with my work, I was back at my desk long before Mia.

The afternoon passed uneventfully, but it was hard to concentrate. Whenever I turned to look at Mia, she gave me a big smile. I hoped that meant what I wanted it to mean. At five I'd had enough and suggested to Mia that we get going. She seemed surprised, I seldom left my desk before six, but quickly agreed. We gathered up our stuff and soon were walking to a nearby bar in the early evening sun.

We'd ordered a glass of White Zinfandel each. It went well with the weather. We chatted easily and the distressed Mia of earlier seemed a million miles away. She was funny. She was insightful, particularly for someone of her age. She had opinions and reasons for holding them. The drinks went down well and Mia ordered a bottle. Her treat she said. I had some idea how little the college was probably paying her and suggested I pay for half. But she said that she had a second income and insisted that she pick up the check. I'm not a big drinker and thought that I'd restrict myself to just one or two more glasses. But before I knew it, I was sipping on my fourth.

Our talk had taken an interesting turn. Mia was reminiscing about her ex, but no longer bitterly. Instead she mentioned how much she was going to miss the way she squealed when climaxing. I tend to be quite private, but here I was confiding in her that I was generally pretty quiet, except for if my clit was stimulated in just the right way.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was Mia's youthful openness, but I found myself laughing and giggling with her about sex; swapping confidences, telling stories. The conversation was such that, as we reached the house and I fumbled to find my keys, it felt totally natural that she kissed me full on the lips. I kissed her back harder, long lost passion surging. Finding my keys was suddenly more urgent. I managed the task and we were already starting to throw off shoes and undress each other as the door swung shut behind us.

There were not many buttons left on Mia's dress. I kissed her neck and then between her breasts before reaching the first fastened one. Undoing this and the next I knelt, parted the thin material, kissed her upper abdomen and then ran my tongue around her navel. Her belly button was pierced, with a platinum ring. I took this between my teeth and pulled, eliciting a moan from her.

I knelt back on my haunches and Mia slipped her dress off of her shoulders and it crumpled quickly to the floor. She stood looking statuesque, wearing only an off-white cotton thong. I had been right, her brown nipples were run through with platinum bars. What I had missed was that the retainers at each end held sparkling gems. She later told me they were diamonds. Her breasts were not large, smaller than mine, but almost geometrical in their curved perfection. Their lines were underscored by tracery. Rose vines, with delicate red flowers and less delicate thorns. This was not your regular ink, it was more a work of art. I found it deeply sensuous.

"You are beautiful, Mia. And I love the tattoos. So distinctive and so graceful."

Mia blushed. She seemed such a self-assured young lady, but my complement was clearly well-received.

"I have an artist friend who did it. I'm glad you like it. She did another one as well. Not everyone finds that as beautiful, but I love it."

She turned and I first noted that my assessment of her butt had been spot on. It had the rubbery firmness of youth. I wanted to stroke it, or -- more honestly -- bite it. Raising my eyes, I saw the other tattoo. It was between her shoulder blades and clearly by the same artist. A pair of hands, each clenched in fists, were drawn opposing each other. Wound multiple times round the wrists were more rose vines, binding the limbs together. In places the thorns appeared to pierce Mia's skin and blood drops had been inked onto her. I found it somehow moving, it had an almost religious quality to it. It would have been mesmerizing save for something else about her back. It was criss-crossed by purple-red welts, faded, but standing prominently from her skin.

Mia could tell something was amiss.

"Is there something wrong, Harper?"

"Your back, what happened to it?"

There was a full length mirror in the hall and Mia stood with her back to it, looking over her shoulder. Her expression was rueful.

"How to ruin the moment, right? I showered and dressed quickly this morning. I was a little sore, but didn't realize that I looked like that. Sorry if I scared you."

"It's OK, the hand tattoo is amazing, by the way. But what happened to you? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Harper, please."

Mia put her arms round me and kissed me again. Then she stroked the crotch of my jeans. I began to think of things other than her bruised back. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and she accepted me willingly. I slipped my hand down the front of her panties and felt short, soft hair, then, further down, warm, slightly damp flesh. I pushed with my finger-tips and felt her tremor and sharp exhalation as I kissed her.

We broke. I had already pulled off my top. Mia now reached round and unclipped my bra. I instinctively held it to me. No one except my spouse had seen me topless since I was twenty.

"It's OK, Harper. Let me."

Mia unfolded my arms and the bra fell. Before I could cover myself, she stooped and kissed my nipples in turn. My breasts were larger than hers and time had made them a little pendulous. Mia didn't seem too worried. She flashed a smile at me.

"You are a fine looking woman. Let's go to the bedroom, shall we."

I took her hand and we ascended the stairs. I shut the door of the master bedroom behind us. Mia sat on the side of the bed and took her panties off. She tilted her body back, propped on her arms, and provocatively spread her long legs. Her pubes shared color, softness and a slight wave with the gorgeous hair on her head. They were trimmed, but not so short as to look prickly. Her outer labia appeared to have been waxed and were smooth and soft-looking. Her inner labia were not quite sealed, inviting moist pinkness peeping between them.

I unbuttoned my jeans and dragged them down, unceremoniously taking my panties along with them. I was now naked as well and felt the self-consciousness of age in front of Mia's lithe, youthful body. I wished maybe I had visited a salon to tidy my pussy hair a little. I was unkempt compared to her impeccably manicured bush.

Maybe my shyness was evident to Mia as she stood embraced me and whispered "you are so sexy" into my ear. Both the words and the tingling of her breath made me want her so much? I kissed her. But I knew I also had to ask a question.

"You are breath-taking, Mia. I can't believe I have you to myself. But you remember that I'm married. Is that OK with you, or too complicated?"

Mia didn't hesitate.

"It's fine by me. I've been with married women before. I figure it's their business, not mine. But, more importantly, what about you? Are you OK with this?"

I had already made my mind up. Something in my character made me want her even more because I was married. I felt guilty, but I embraced that feeling. I wanted to be a girl again, and I wanted to be a bad girl.

"Oh yes, I'm OK with this, Mia. I want to be with you so bad."

Something changed in me. I put my arms on Mia's shoulders and walked her backwards to the edge of the bed. I pushed her, not roughly, but firmly, and she collapsed on to her back, her legs off of the side of the bed. Her mouth was open in surprise, but she also smiled.

"Taking the initiative, Harper? I think I like that. What are you going to do with me?"

I knew just what I wanted to do with her. I climbed onto the bed and knelt across her face. A downwards glance, a half nod from Mia, and I held open my pussy lips, before dropping my groin onto her mouth. As I did so, I felt her extended tongue come up to meet and then penetrate me. I licked my fingers and started to massage my clit. Mia had a mobile tongue and she thrust it in and out of me. I rubbed harder and faster.

The sight of her brown eyes staring up at me steadily as she probed my pussy had feelings build in me so quickly. I bowed my head and felt my breath become deeper and faster. Warmth began to spread through me and to increase in temperature. Then gently, Mia displaced my digits with her own thumb, which she pushed directly onto my clit, pressed firmly and began to vibrate the tip from side to side. That had electricity surging through me. She flicked her tongue faster in and out of my vagina and the sensations of heat and throbbing rose and rose. Swamping conscious thought, releasing the primitive. I threw my head back and howled as my body stiffened, then shook, then was wracked by little earthquakes.

I fell forward onto all fours panting. I could still feel starbursts. After all these years, I could still feel starbursts. In fact that orgasm had been more of a supernova. I wasn't entirely sure if I was the same woman as before Mia had released such waves of primal pleasure in me. Maybe it was her, she was undeniably fucking sexy. Maybe it was her glossal expertise. Maybe it was me and my excitement at breaking marital taboos. But it felt like it was something different in me. Something changing. Something being set free. This was not merely rediscovering sensual pleasure, it was a whole new level. Possibilities opened up. I felt a sexual being. I felt alive.

I rolled onto my back next to Mia, lent across and kissed her. Me breathless, her mouth smeared with my juices.

Then I heard the bedroom door opening. Standing in the frame, holding a small suitcase, was my spouse.

She had a horrified look on her face.

"Laura... I... Why are you back so early?"

Laura ignored me totally, instead addressing my companion.

"Mia, what the fuck are you doing with my wife?"

I basically fell off the bed in shock and and grabbed a robe throwing it round me. But Mia seemed less panicked by the situation. She moved up to the head of the bed, pulling the bedding along with her, and sat up, the sheets covering just her lower half, her lovely breasts on display, almost defiantly.

I now found myself standing between my wife and my lover. My head was a blur and it was Mia who spoke first.

"Hi Laura, it's pretty obvious that I'm fucking her, I suppose. Clearly I didn't know. I have my kinks, but this isn't one of them. I'm sorry, I guess."

Feeling unable to process things, I thought I should at least try to say something. I turned to Laura.

"Mia and I work together, you know I told you about the new girl. She was having some relationship problems and I offered her a place to stay, at least while you were away. Well I guess it got out of hand. I'm so sorry."

I began to cry. Things that had seemed important over the last few days suddenly weren't.

"I'm an awful person. I don't know what I was thinking. Please forgive me."

Laura seemed shell-shocked rather than angry. She had a temper and I was expecting expletives to be flying by now. Trying to pull myself together, I struggled to speak.

"Laura, I can't imagine what you are feeling. We need to talk."

I turned back to the bed.

"Mia, can you give us some time. Please stay, I know you have issues at home. But just give us a moment."

Mia said nothing and showed no immediate sign of shifting out of the bed. Instead she was staring intently at Laura.

A small break appeared in the clouds of my shame and panic. A question shone through it.

"So how exactly do you two know each other?"

Again, Mia answered.

"You need to tell her, Laura. Or I will."

Laura seemed unable to talk. She opened her mouth and closed it again.

"Tell her, Laura!"

Mia was insistent, her gaze still fixed on my wife.

"Laura, Harper is my friend, you're just a client. Tell her."

I span confused between the two women, feeling the Universe was imploding.

"Client? What the fuck do you mean by client? Laura...? Mia...?"

Laura bowed her head and, without looking at me, found her voice. But, when she spoke, she was faltering, she sounded broken.

"It's me who should apologize, Harper. I've been... seeing Mia for over a month. Most weeks. The charity...Well, I haven't gone to that in a while."

I couldn't believing what I was hearing. But I had more questions.

"So are you two... having an affair? Are you... together?"

I wasn't sure what answer I wanted. My own guilt was being overtaken by a rising tide of anger and betrayal.

Laura still wouldn't meet my eyes and said nothing. Instead, I heard Mia answer from behind me.

"I said she's a client, not my girlfriend. She pays to see me. To tie me up and do things to me. I'm a part time sex worker, Harper. Lesbian BDSM is my thing, I'm a sub and Laura likes to be dominant. Didn't you know?"

My mind was doing a passable impression of a centrifuge. My wife, paying for sex. Doing BDSM. We had fooled around. Spanking was another thing we had tried to get our sex life back on track. But I had no idea. She had never talked to me about needs like that.

Laura finally raised her eyes. She seemed to guess some of my roiling thoughts.

"I was ashamed, Harper. I felt dirty. Dirty about me, but also the thought of wanting to tie you, to hurt you. I love you, I still fucking love you. I didn't want to drag you into my degradation. I hated myself for it. I didn't want you to think of me that way. I was ashamed of my desires. I lied. I cheated. I used our money to meet my own sordid needs. I disgust myself. I'm so, so sorry."

She dropped to her knees and sobbed.

I didn't feel sympathy, only burning anger.

"You fucking lying, selfish bitch. How could you do this? How could you do this to me, to us? And with a fucking whore?"

Thoughts of my own recent infidelity, with the same whore, had disappeared. In any case, she had cheated first. And for longer. And with a fucking hooker. My tears turned hot with rage.

Laura curled forwards, head on her knees and wailed. So she should, fucking unfaithful cow. My anger was incandescent, unreasoning. And I didn't fucking care.

I heard a rustle behind me. Mia brushed past, still nude, and crouched next to my wife, an arm round her shoulder. Laura lifted her torso and buried her head against Mia. Her voice was muffled when she next spoke

"I'm sorry, Harper. You are right. I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me. It will never happen again."

Mia spoke softly to her, but loud enough for me to hear. Loud enough for her words to penetrate my righteous rage and begin to fracture it.

"But it will, Laura. You can't deny stuff like this. It's part of you. What you need to do is talk about it with Harper. For what it's worth, you are probably my nicest client. I always thought you were thinking of me. Not like some."

Mia raised her eyes to me.

"The marks on my back are from a much less considerate client. There are some real bitches out there. Laura isn't one of them."

She paused. Collected her thoughts and plunged on.

"Listen to me both of you. I like each of you. Hell, I just fucked Harper with no money changing hands. She's actually a tiger, Laura. You must know that."

The red mist was turning pink for me. I saw the woman I loved, the woman I had also betrayed, now in a ball of agony on the floor. Memories were also flooding back.

"I used to be a tiger. When we were first together. Do you remember, Laura?"

Laura raised her tear-stained face and nodded.

"How did we lose that, honey?"

Laura shook her head silently. Tears flowing down her face.

Mia seemed to decide that someone needed to take charge.

"Look, I'm twenty-two, what the fuck do I know? But people talk to me. Clients. You'd be surprised how many women want to tell you about why they are there with you. Who want to unburden. To justify maybe. I used to take bookings from guys as well, until I paid off my college loans, it was the same with them."

Again she paused.

"So the common theme is marriage is fucking hard. Long term relationships are fucking hard. People let all sorts of shit get in the way. Things said. Things unsaid. Things done. Things not done. External shit, nothing to do with the relationship. If there was a Creator, which I seriously fucking doubt, then She made us to fuck, have children and die at thirty. Not to be together in perpetuity. That's the cis folk anyway, maybe people like us are just here because She likes to watch women fuck. Everyone has their kinks, right? My point is, you have to fight like Hell to make it work. Most of my clients have given up, or are too tired to keep trying."

She gave Laura another hug. Then directed her words at me.

"They aren't bad people. They are hurt, lonely, confused people. Lost people. Just like... well, just like you two."

She stood up.

"Look, it's not my place. But you are both nice people. Laura, you aren't disgusting. You are the opposite. What we did isn't sordid. For me, at least, it's beautiful. Harper, you are an exciting, yet kind lover, you are also a good friend. At least I hope you still are. But you need to speak up for what you want. I think you also likely have some kinks you don't want to acknowledge. And both of you, just be honest with each other about what you feel, what you need. Please do that, for fuck's sake."

Suddenly she laughed.

"Maybe you just need a kink seminar. Be totally open about what you want. I'm betting you find each other much more understanding than you fear. And if not, what the fuck? Either accommodate or break up. It's not like you are in paradise right now, is it? But, with the little I have seen of both of you, I think you might be able to fix things. I think it's worth trying, I really do."

The youngest person in the room was clearly the wisest. Or at least the only one thinking clearly. I reminded myself how desperately I had wanted Mia. How a part of that was because she wasn't my wife and the illicit appealed to me. I tried to put myself in Laura's shoes. Was she just braver to do what she did first? I didn't know, but I did know that I still loved her.

When I finally moved, I was quick. I threw myself on the floor by Laura. Seeing what I was doing, Mia gave me room, but stayed close. I took Laura's head in my hands and raised her eyes to mine. I looked into them for a few seconds silently, tears still welling up and then spoke.

"This is so fucked up and broken. I'm so angry at you, but at me too. I don't know how to fix this. But I know I at least want to try. How about you?"

Laura uttered just one word, but it was enough.

"Yes."

I kissed her. Kissed her in a way I hadn't done in years. Kissed her like I kissed Mia. Mia! I wanted to say something. To apologize for dragging her into this. To say thank you for knocking our heads together maybe. I turned to speak to her, not realizing how close she was and found her face two inches from mine.