tagHumor & SatireHarry's Unique Feature

Harry's Unique Feature


Harry Horsefeld had just turned 21 and was sitting in his dorm room reflecting on his life. He hated that he was so average. He was average height and average weight; he had average looks and almost average grades. He now wished he had joined a fraternity since the frat boys always seemed to get the nice looking girls, but he had put it off and now he was in his junior year and he knew it was too late to try to get in. He knew if he had more money in his pocket, he could do better with the girls, but he couldn't ask his father for a raise.

His father was always on him about his grades. Whenever they talked on the phone his father constantly harangued him with such epitaphs as: "Who is going to hire a college graduate with a C- average?" or "I'm pouring my money down the drain for C's." He probably could pick up his grades if he was interested enough in something, but his courses were a bore to him.

Harry knew he needed to come up with a way to earn some money. He realized that just getting a regular job like the one he had last summer was not going to work. He didn't have any special talent, so he couldn't get a well-paying job. He also found work almost as boring as going to class. No, he needed to find a unique way to make some good money.

One day while he was in the college library, where he went once in awhile to see if he could pick up a girl, he spotted a book titled, "Finding Financial Reward in Yourself." He decided to skim the book to see if he could get any ideas. He found the book's main point was that every person has one or more unique features and that by further developing or utilizing those features, a person can be invaluable to others who seek that special feature in someone. Once you become invaluable to others, you can market that part of you in order to reap the financial rewards.

On his way out of the library, he picked up an alternative newspaper from a rack in the foyer. On his way home, Harry contemplated the book he had just skimmed. 'What special features do I have?' he wondered. Harry knew he was just an average guy. When he got back to the dorm, he paged through the newspaper. He glanced through the classified section, and spotted an ad that read: "Young man available to comfort lonely ladies, call 252-6513." Then another: "Sensual massage for ladies by virile young man, call 456-3987."

Harry had an idea. His nickname given to him by the guys in the dorm was "Harry the Horse" and they hadn't given him this nickname because of his last name. That was one area he was not average in. He had also remembered seeing an ad recently while he was surfing the web about enlarging your penis. His thoughts then went back to the book's advice about further developing your unique features for profit. He jumped up and went to his computer. He soon found the web site advertising a program to enlarge your penis. It cost $36.00 to subscribe, but he figured one week's allowance would be worth it if it worked.

Harry did the prescribed exercises and within a month his ten-inch cock now measured an impressive twelve inches. He was ready to market his unique feature. He called the alternative newspaper classified section and placed the following ad: "Well-endowed college student wishes to earn some extra money, call 528-7898."

Harry then waited and waited. He ran back to the dorm after each class to check his answering machine. Finally he got the message he had been waiting for. A lady had called and said she needed some help around her place and that he should call her. He immediately followed up and set an appointment for that weekend. He found the house in a neighborhood where many of the college professors lived. 'So what?' he thought. 'I need the money.' So he rang the doorbell.

When the door opened he murmured, "Holy shit!" Harry was standing there facing his English professor from last year, the one who had given him a D instead of flunking him when he promised not to take any more of her classes. Here she was in all her glory, 275 pounds compacted onto a 5' 5" frame and dressed in a see-through nightgown.

"Hello, Miss Lester," he stammered.

"Well, hello, Harry," she replied. "I didn't expect to see you, but you never know who will show up when you answer one of those ads. Come in." She led him to the living room and sat down on the couch. He sat across from her in an easy chair.

"Well, what's your fee?" she asked. "And if I pay it I assume you're ready to do anything?"

"Truthfully, you're my first customer," he replied. "Does a hundred for an hour sound unreasonable?"

"Not if your advertising is correct. Come over here and let me see. And I hope you're better at this than you are at English."

Harry stood and did as ordered. She reached up and unbuckled his belt and then unzipped his pants. She pulled them over his hips and now he was standing before her in his boxers. Even though Miss Lester wasn't much to look at, he felt a twinge in his cock, knowing that soon it would be bared to this 50-something-year-old lady. She then pulled down his boxers.

"Hmmm," she hummed. "I see you don't go in for false advertising." She took his cock in her hand and inspected it like she was buying a new watch. She lifted his cock with one hand and felt his balls with the other. "Those feel nice, too. I'm going to get my hundred dollars' worth."

By this time, Harry's cock had started to harden. She began to stroke his cock very gently and at the same time continued to massage his nuts. When she noticed some precum leaking from the tip, she moved her face towards her prize and licked at it. She enjoyed the salty taste.

Harry was starting to get into this now. He had only gotten laid once this semester and he and the girl had both been drunk, so he only half remembered the occasion. This tonguing of his cock hole was all he needed to get his 12 inches standing at attention. Miss Lester sat back on the couch and admired his rock-hard cock.

"Harry, I can't wait to get that buried into my pussy, but first I need you to get me ready." She stood and removed her nightgown. Her massive tits, with their big, dark areolas and dark red nipples, hung down to her waist. Her stomach bulged out, so he couldn't get a look at her pussy.

She put both feet on the couch and sat down, exposing Harry to the meatiest and hairiest pussy he had ever seen. All he could do was stare. "What the fuck are you looking at? Haven't you seen one before?" she barked at him. The substance, as well as the tone, of her voice brought him quickly back to reality. "Not one that looked so big," he replied


"Well, your cock looks big enough to fill it. Quit talking and get down here and use your tongue on me."

Harry knelt down between her legs. Soon his face was between her fat thighs. He had eaten a couple of pussies along the way, but none with this strong an aroma. 'Oh well, I am getting paid for this,' he thought as he ran his tongue up and down her enlarged labia. He took one of her inner lips in his mouth and sucked. Miss Lester had her head back on the couch, her eyes were closed and she was humming. Her aroma grew stronger as the juice oozed out of her pussy. He put three fingers in her sopping hole and began to finger fuck her. At the same time, he licked and probed right under her mound of Venus. Her very pink clit soon exposed itself to him. He put his lips over it and began to suck while his fingers were vigorously moving in and out of her.

"Ahhhhhhh," she cried out as her fat thighs pinched Harry's head. She had his face locked between her legs and he couldn't get a breath. She bucked and writhed, and he felt like she was either going to break his neck or smother him. Finally, she relaxed and he was able to catch his breath.

"Now I want that cock of yours in me," she hissed. She got off the couch and lay down on the floor. Harry was still hard and he maneuvered between her legs. He rubbed his cock head up and down her labia. She was just lying back and smiling at him. He then entered her easily, as she was very wet. He began to stroke her slowly and her smile got brighter. He grabbed both of her big tits and fondled them as he fucked her.

'God, she feels good, I can't believe Miss Lester is making me this hot,' he thought as he started to stoke her faster. He could feel his nut sack tighten as he was now pounding her pretty hard. Their bodies slapped together. Miss Lester was murmuring, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," This all became too much for Harry. He felt his cock start to pulsate as his cum shot deep in her belly.

Once the cumming stopped, Harry removed his cock and stood up. She sat up and said, "Come over here." He approached her and she grabbed his balls and pulled him close. She then took his cock in her mouth and sucked him clean. "That tasted good. Next time, I want you to cum in my mouth."

She then got her purse, got out her cash and handed Harry $125.00. "There's a little extra since you do fine work," she said with a smile. "Now, I would like to set up a standing appointment, every other week at this time, OK?"

"That's great, Miss Lester. I'm glad you liked my service," he said as he got dressed.

As he was leaving the house, she said, "See you in a couple of weeks. Oh Harry, I'll let you back into my English class, if you want."

"No thanks, but I appreciate the invite," he said as he walked down the front stairs with a big smile on his face.

Harry's business began to expand. Most of his customers were similar to Miss Lester, and once he serviced a lady, she always wanted him back. At the end of the spring semester, he decided to move out of the dorm and get an apartment. He had extra money now and could easily afford it. He also didn't want to go home for the summer and lose his customers, as he had about thirty regulars.

During the fall semester, he got a couple of different kinds of assignments, including one that would significantly change his life. The first came towards the second week of September. The lady who made the appointment spoke in a heavy German accent. She told him that she would have to let him through the gates to the property, so he needed to ring the buzzer and ask for Helga. She told him to allow for four hours for the appointment and that he was to be there promptly at 10 a.m. As Harry drove into the neighborhood, he realized that he was in the ritzy section of town. All the homes were mansions, with large, manicured lawns. When he reached the gate of his destination, he rang the buzzer as directed.

"Hello," came the accented voice from the speaker.

"Helga, this is Harry for the 10 a.m. appointment," he replied.

"Come in," she said, and the gates opened, allowing him to drive up to the house. When he got near the house, which was a two-story mansion, he noticed a woman by a side door waving to him. He drove in that direction parked the car and got out. "I assume you're Helga," he said.

"Yes, I am. Follow me," she replied. 'Not much for small talk, is she,' Harry thought as he followed her into the house. She led him into a small study and closed the door. This may be interesting, as he found Helga attractive. She was in her mid thirties, had a nice body and a cute face, with her short brown hair, small nose and freckles.

"Before we go any further, I want to check you out to see if you're appropriate for the occasion. Drop your pants," she directed.

Harry thought 'She's more of an authoritarian than Miss Lester,' as he unbuckled his pants. He let his pants fall around his ankles and then he removed his boxers. "Does it get much bigger when you're hard?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"Well then, harden it up for me."

By this time, he didn't know what was going on, but he had to remember this was his anointed profession now. He reached down and grabbed his cock. She just sat and stared at him, not showing any emotion. He squeezed it a couple of times to get the blood flowing, and then started to stroke it. Soon it had extended to its full 12 inches.

"OK, you're hired," she said. "Wait here, I'll be back in a little while." She then left the room and closed the door behind her.

"Mrs. Bennett is going to pay you a thousand dollars for your services," Helga said as she returned to the study. She then counted out ten one hundred-dollar bills and handed them to Harry. He was dumbfounded; he had never made so much money at one time. 'What do I have to do?' he wondered anxiously.

"Part of the reason for the extra money is to insure your discretion. You must not say anything to anybody about being here. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do, don't worry about me," Harry replied.

"OK, here's the plan," Helga said. She went on to explain that one of the members of Mrs. Bennett's bridge group was having her eightieth birthday that day. Right after their normal bridge-day lunch, the ladies were going to give the guest of honor some presents. Harry was to be one of the presents. He would be hiding behind the heavy drapes in the dining room. They were going to place a table in front of him and the presents would be on the table. There would be one box with a hole in it. They were going tell the birthday girl she was to open that gift on the table last and she would find Harry's hard cock in the box. After that he just needed to do whatever she wanted him to do. "Any questions?"

"No. Just give me a little forewarning so I'm ready," he replied.

"OK, I will say 'we're almost done with the presents' about two minutes before we take her to the box. Is that enough of a forewarning?" Helga replied.


"OK, remove your clothes and put on this robe. Then follow me." Harry did as she directed and she led him from the study to the dining room. The servants were in the process of setting the table. Helga had him get behind the drapes and a table was placed in front of him. She then pulled the curtain back and said, "Here is the box. I'll place it right in front of the break in the drapes." She then closed the drape in front of him.

A short time later, Harry heard the ladies enter the room. After some typical luncheon chatter, he heard the food being served. After the lunch he heard the women sing "Happy Birthday" and then he heard Helga announce that it was time for the presents. Helga would take one present at a time and present it to the guest of honor at the table. When she was done opening that one, Helga would bring her another.

"We're almost done with the presents," Helga announced as she got another from the table. Upon the signal, Harry started to vigorously stroke his cock. He had kept it semi hard so he didn't have to start from scratch. When he got it rock hard, he carefully got the box and stuck his cock through the drapes and then the hole in the box. He grabbed his nuts and played with them so he would stay hard.

"For this last present Mrs. Davis, you need to come over and open it on the table as it's very heavy," Helga announced.

He felt the box move slightly as the top was being removed. Then all the women yelled, "Surprise!" He heard the woman who had just opened the box shriek.

"Is it real?" she asked.

"Why don't you find out for yourself, Grace," Mrs. Bennett suggested.

Harry felt a hand grab his cock and immediately let go.

"Oh, it is real," cried Grace.

"Well, you've been talking about how much you miss having sex lately, so I thought this is exactly what you need," Mrs. Bennett said.

Harry heard the table being moved and then Helga opened the drapes and said, "Come out here and take off the robe." He did as directed. There he was, standing nude in front of these rich, old ladies with a raging hard-on.

"Go ahead, Grace, he's all yours. And we can't take all day since we need to play bridge," Mrs. Bennett, who was seated at the table with the other two ladies, announced.

Only one of the ladies was standing, and Harry presumed this was Grace. She had her gray hair expertly coifed and she wore a very expensive-looking dress and a lot of jewelry. She was on the slim side. All in all she was an attractive elderly women. She walked towards him and grabbed his cock again, but this time she didn't let go.

"You certainly have a nice, big cock," she said to Harry with a smile. "I bet you know how to use it." She then led Harry by his cock around the other side of the luncheon table. There was a fully made bed that had been moved to the room right after Grace got her surprise. "Lay down and I'll join you in a minute," she directed.

Harry got on the bed and lay on his back. His cock stood up like a flagpole. The women at the table had turned and all of their eyes were on him. Helga was assisting Grace to get undressed. Once she was naked, she got on the bed with him. She leaned over and kissed him while her hand found his cock and stroked it. She then stuck her small tits in his face and his mouth found a nipple. She seemed to enjoy his sucking, and she began to moan.

Harry then got her to lie on her back and he moved down to her groin. He got her to spread her legs and then went to work on her pussy. He ran his tongue up and down her labia. Grace was now getting hot. She felt her nipples get harder than they had been in years. Her pussy tingled from the tonguing she was getting. Her body soon convulsed with pleasure and she cried out, "Ohhh!"

Her friends at the table were enjoying the show. They all had their dresses hiked up to their hips and their fingers were rubbing their pussies. Once Grace came, Harry got between her still spread legs and guided his cock towards her wet pussy. When she felt him enter and bury the 12 inches deep inside her, she came again.

Harry began to fuck her as he looked down at her face, which was contorted with pleasure. As he pounded away at her, everyone in the room, besides him, was moaning. He noticed that even Helga was sitting in a chair fingering herself. Turning these women on was a big rush for him. He felt his orgasmic desires building, which caused him to stroke faster. The faster he stroked, the louder Grace's moaning got. Finally he went over the edge and his cock pulsated as his warm cum filled her pussy. She was delirious with pleasure when she felt him cum.

When Harry stopped cumming, he took his cock from her and got off the bed. He was met with a round of applause from the women sitting at the table. "Wish we had some time so we all could get some of you, but we need to get on with our bridge game," Mrs. Bennett said.

Helga handed Harry the robe and took him back to the study. "When you're through dressing, you know how to get out, don't you?" Helga asked. When he nodded his head, she left the room without saying another word. Harry left the house with a smile on his face and one thousand bucks in his pocket. This had been a good day.

About two months after he did the bridge club engagement, Harry got a call from the classiest sorority on campus. They scheduled him for Friday night at 8 p.m. Harry wondered what this would be all about. 'Well, who cares, as long as they pay me,' he concluded.

He knocked on the sorority house door and when it opened, there stood Claudia. She had been in a few of his classes and he had fallen in love with her from long distance. She had long, dark brown hair, baby blue eyes and a figure most women would kill for.

"Hi, my name is Harry."

"Hi Harry, my name is Claudia. Have we ever met?" she asked. Harry had the hots for her, but she didn't even remember him.

"Well, we were in a few classes together," he replied.

"I thought I had seen you before. Well, come on in and I'll tell you what you're being hired for." They walked through the foyer and into an office. Claudia closed the door and offered him a seat. "Tonight is pledge initiation night," she began. "One of our rituals is that as part of the initiation, each of the pledges must deep throat some stud. If you pass my inspection, you will be that stud. If you don't, I'm going to have to get my boyfriend over here real fast. So stand up and drop your pants so I can see if you're as well endowed as your ad states."

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