Have Some Pride

"Damn it Jeff! Stop hogging all the goddamn beer nuts you sonofabitch!" Nick Howl yelled at his nearest compatriot, throwing an empty beer can at his head in frustration. Jeff Tanner didn't so much as blink as the empty can bounced off his head and clattered down the stairs of his front stoop. Nick glared at him for several seconds more, trying to see if he would react at all to his provocation, but when no returning fire came, Nick scooted back into this place on the step and grumbled to himself about how nobody listened to him anymore. Nick was always spoiling for a fight. He was known to be an ill tempered son of a bitch on his best day.

John Stedson chuckled at the usual antics of his two buddies and cracked himself a fresh beer from the case Jeff had procured. It was a typical Saturday for them. After a hard day's work at the factory churning out pipe fittings and hoses for industrial use, the trio always went out and got blind stinking drunk at a local dive on Friday nights. If one of them got lucky, then the other two usually just slept off their hangover in the comfort of their own home and showed up Monday to work to hear all the sordid details. But if they all struck out, they reconveined at one of their houses and got good and buzzed on cheap beer while they talked about how the world was going to hell in a handbasket for men like them.

Nick was in a particularly foul mood today. As he had told them earlier, a gay couple moved into the appartment above his and Nick had been kept up all night for weeks due to the sound of their supposed 'gayness'.

"You can hear it in the way they fucking walk, all soft and light footed and shit. Bunch of queers." He ranted, full of piss and vinegar. "I heard 'em giggling last night like a bunch of fucking girls. Probally diddling eachother and poking it in the ass. Fucking queers!" His rage had burned all morning and his temper didn't seem to be helped by the fact that Jeff was about as responsive as a brick wall today. John didn't quite know what was going through his head today, but it was unusual for him to take a beer can to the head without so much as a comment. John wondered if he was on drugs again. He certainly seemed spaced out enough to be. Ever since his last break up, he had been acting more squirrely than usual, bouncing off the wall and shouting curses at everything that moved one moment, solom and quiet as a man at a funeral the next.

Nick finally leaned forward and snatched the container of nuts out of Jeff's lap. Still glaring at him, Nick started shoveling them into his mouth with gusto. John felt he had to say something, if only to make sure the man was still alive and kicking. "Hey bro, uh, you ok over there?" He asked gingerly, afraid to set him off on another mood tangent.

Jeff didn't turn to look at him or acknowledge him at all, just continued to stare across the street with a hard look on his face. John gave him a light shove on the shoulder and Jeff finally turned to look at the man. He looked tired and slightly upset. He had dark circles under his eyes and his eye's themselves looked red, like he'd been crying. At length, in a strained voice, he said, "Sarah got married to some bitch. She gone fucking gay on me."

John took in a sharp intake of breath. Sarah had been Jeff's long time girlfriend not that long ago. While he didn't know all the details of their breakup, he did know it had been messy and that she had left him. It was something that had never happened to Jeff before and it was a fact that he didn't really seem to be recovering from.

"Oh shit dude. That sucks big time." John said lamely, not quite knowing how to comfort your friend from something like this. Externally he was trying to put on a show of support. Internally, he thought that was mega hot and wanted to see pictures.

Nick snorted and tossed his now empty beer can down the stairs. "Fucking gays man! They're ruining everything!" He growled, spitting each word out like it had a foul taste.

Jeff nodded solemnly. "Fucking A right they are. A relationship used to mean something. It used to be a sacred bond between a woman and her man." John saw a fire in his eyes building and braced himself for a mood swing of epic proportions. "Used to be that a fucking bitch knew her place and showed some fucking loyality to the man who takes care of her. Who goes out day after day and earns a living for her spoiled ass. Now..."

Nick clapped Jeff's shoulder. "Yeah, now we got fags running around everywhere, stealing all the good shit and fucking it up for the avarage american working man!" He spit angrily from between his teeth. "Sluts like her used to stay home and keep shit clean and junk. Now they all want 'independence' and 'equal rights' bull." The pair quietly stewed on those thoughts for a minute. Then Nick's face lit up. John didn't like that look because it meant he had a bad idea, and that usually meant that one or all of them was going to sleep the night in the county jail hotel.

"Those fucking fags and lezbos are having a parade today. 'Faggot pride' or something." Nick smiled cruelly. "Be a real same if some real men busted up their little drag show and showed those fuckers a thing or two about how we're suppost to live in America!"

John personal thought this was a terrible idea, but Jeff pounded a fist into his other hand and said, "Fuck yeah, lets teach all them gays a lesson about fucking up another mans life."

Now, John would have rather gone home than go along with this insanity, but he knew if he did, they'd give him nothing but shit for being a pussy from now on. They might not even allow him to hang out with them anymore. John didn't have a lot of friends. Never did, even as a kid. In fact, Nick and Jeff were the only two in the whole world who ever showed any inkling of friendship towards him. So, with great reluctance, John piled into Jeff's old work truck and the trio made their way towards downtown.

The city was packed with all kinds of outlandish looking people, waving rainbow colored flags of every shape and design. Even way out on the outskirts of the city where they had been forced to park, groups of these freaks were gathered together almost every ten feet. It was hard for Nick to tell the men apart from the women with everyone wearing multi-colored tight fitting clothing and ridiculously styled hair and heavy make up. It made him sick to look at. He watched as two men pranced down the street hand in hand, shirtless but wearing more makeup than a hooker.

"My god, what a bunch of sissies!" He spat out loudly. Angry eyes glared at him from every direction but he didn't care. He was fired up and ready and the first one of these bastards who said a single word to him was going to end up taking a dirt nap real quick. While Nick was indiscriminate in his hatred, Jeff seemed to be focusing it only on the girls. The very sight of any woman was making him scowl. He went out of his way to knock a tiny girl with bright pink hair sprawling earlier and when her friend started to shout, he shoved her down too, screaming at the pair to get lost and find a real man. Nick thought for a moment that he was really going to hit them but Jeff settled for stomping on their purses until they were misshapen lumps of fabric on the ground.

John was being a wet blanket as usual, not saying anything and looking moody. It was no skin off Nick's nose but he was acting like a real bitch. Dude should just enjoy busting up some fags while he had the chance. They had it coming after all. If not for their weirdness, the world wouldn't be such a shit hole that it was. That's what the news told him anyways. And who was he to judge the wisdom of the twenty four hour news cycle?

Nick soon spied a group of gangly looking boys in loose looking black clothing huddled together, sharing drinks and laughing. Their hair was spiked and they were wearing black lipstick and eyeliner. Nick grinned evilly as he walked right up to the pack of them and shoved the nearest one to the ground as hard as he could. "Get some real close fag! Then maybe you won't be such a little bitch!" he screamed at the prone man. He was sputtering as he tried to get back to his feet but Nick kicked him in the stomach and laughed as the guy crumpled back to the ground, holding his stomach and groaning. He looked at the others and was pleased to see fear in their eyes. He balled up his fists and took another step forward, his posture daring any of them to take him on. When they wilted away from his righteous wrath, he just took it as a sign that they needed a through lesson in what it took to be a real man.

Just as he was about to attack again however, Nick found himself being yanked backwards by someone behind him. Whoever it was managed to trip Nick up and send him sprawling away. His first thought was that John had finally pussed out and was trying to stop him, but as he wheeled around, he saw a small girl dressed in the same gothic manor, though he could see some muscle in her arms that poked out of her tight t-shirt. "Go on guys, I'll catch up." she said to the group behind her. The other goth guys scooped up their friend and scampered away while the girl stayed and glared daggers at Nick. Jeff had now turned his attention to her and his own rage seemed to boil at the sight of a woman who dared to stand up to them. John's miserable face appeared at his other shoulder, a look of worry was drawn on his features.

"You clowns take the cake, you know that?" She spat angrily at them. Despite the fact that each of the guy's had more than a foot on her and probably several dozen pounds, she was standing toe to toe with Nick, staring him down like she was a prize fighter. Nick actually felt a little impressed that this little girl could man handle him so well. However, whatever positive feelings he might have had toward her were quickly quashed under his unyielding rage that anyone, especially some fag goth bitch, would dare to stand up to him.

But before he could unleash his venomous vitriol on this gothic girl, she started in on him with a verbal assault of her own. "Are you turd's really harassing people at a friggin pride parade? Get a life you pack of losers! I mean, is your precious manhood so threatened by a bunch of rainbow flags that you have to come down here and beat up people half your size just to 'prove how big you are'? It's fucking pathitc!" She then shoved Nick back with surprising force, given her size. He was stunned that she could have moved him at all, let alone stager him to such a degree. "Grow up!" she shouted at them.

Rather than helping him regain his balance, Jeff shoved Nick aside and stepped forward, a mad gleam in his eye. His hands were twitching at his sides as he advanced on her. "Bitch, I'm about to show you how much of a real man I am." He then lunged at her suddenly, looking like a tiger going in for the kill. Yet she effortlessly dodged him, moving out of the way with the grace of a dancer.. Jeff went sprawling onto the pavement hard, tearing the front of his shirt in the process. Nick, having steadied himself once more, decided this was his best chance and tried to jump her too, only for her to side step him with ease. Nick managed to keep himself up right, but only by a hair. He was pretty wobbly from all the drinks and thus it took him much longer than it normally would to regain his composure.

The goth girl put her hands on her hips and sighed. "By all the god's, you lot are a sad bunch. I've had enough of this. You assholes really need to walk a mile in someone else's shoes." She declared. Jeff was still down on all fours when he tried to lunge again. It was a half assed effort, born out of frustration and rage then clear thinking. It failed miserably as the goth girl dodge out of the way in a graceful twist of her waist. This time, Jeff went sprawling face first into a trash can. With a loud CLANG, Jeff collided with the aluminum container and went down again, this time with a healthy sprinkling of foul garbage covering his prone body.

As Jeff sputtered out a series of vulgar curses, Nick steadied himself for his next attack, determined not to let this bitch get the better of him. But just as he was about to charge, John grabbed his arm and held him back. "Bro, let it go! Jesus, are you really about to try and woop a fucking girl, man?" Nick reacted instantly, cocking his fist back and slamming John in the chest as hard as he could. John let out a slight 'oof' sound as his body twisted away before collapsing to the ground.

Nick blinked. He hadn't meant to hit John, but in his wild state he had just reacted. His mind was still fuzzy from his anger and the alcohol flowing through his system wasn't helping him think any clearer. Taking this moment to look around, he saw John fumbling around on the ground, trying and failing to get his feet back under him. Jeff was laying on his back, holding his chest and groaning. Nick whirled around, trying to see where the goth girl was now, but he couldn't see her anywhere. After looking around for a few seconds, he realized she was gone. But he saw something on the ground that fascinated him for a second.

A short while later, the boys were trudging through the streets with their heads hung low. John was lingering back, more than an arm's length away from Nick now. Jeff was sulking, dragging his feet as he plucked pieces of trash out of his hair. As for Nick, he was staring at a black rose he had found on the ground before he had helped Jeff back up to his feet. Its pedals were as black as midnight and its stem was the color of ebony. He thought it was a fake at first, but upon touching it, he knew it was a real rose.

Jeff saw what Nick was holding and growled. "Where'd you get that fucking flower? From that goth bitch? Are you her fuck boy now?"

"Fuck off, shit for brains." Nick snarled. "Unless you want me to shove you back in the trash can I plucked your dumb ass out of!"

Jeff reared up to his full height and Nick started to square up, but then both men were shoved by John. "Knock it off!" He bellowed with a force Nick didn't know he had in him. For a moment John looked furiously at the both of them like he might say more, but then just shouldered his way forward past the pair. After a moment, Nick and Jeff started off after him, back to their moody silence.

It didn't last however, as they rounded a corner, the trio saw a huge crowd of people wearing all manner of flamboyant and gaudy clothes marching down the street, smiling and waving. In their misery, they hadn't noticed that they had been trekking towards the center of town. They had managed to walk right into the very parade they came to bust up.

As soon as he saw the fags on parade marching down the street, smiling and laughing, Jeff had a wild urge to leap out into the middle of the pack of them and start swinging. He was full of hate and anger and just wanted to hurt something badly. But as he started to will his body forward, the image of the goth girl knocking him on his ass and calling him pathetic filled his mind. If she could mess him up so easily, what could the rest of them do? And so he simply glowered at the passing group, silently cursing at them under his breath.

Looking at the other two, he saw that Nick had a similar helpless disgust plastered on his face. John, on the other hand, just looked doggedly tired. Jeff turned his attention back towards the parade and saw a tall buff looking woman holding another girl on her shoulders as the second one waved a rainbow flag furiously. The pair were giggling and laughing and as he watched them, the tall girl reached up and grabbed at the other girl's tits, giving them a firm squeeze.

Jeff scoffed. "Fucking disgusting. Can't they keep that shit in the bedroom where we don't have to see it? And what is up with all the fucking rainbows? These bitches wouldn't know style if it bit them in the ass." He grumbled loudly. Nick murmured in agreement. "Wouldn't kill them to put on some real makeup as well. Nobody wants to see their ugly butterfaces anyways."

As the pair grumbled on, neither noticed that Jeff's hair suddenly had turned a pinkish purple or that Nick's face was now adorned with layers of pink eye shadow and lipstick. Jeff continued on, "Yeah, and what's with those outfits? Booty shorts? Thigh high boots? Is this a fucking hooker convention or what?" Nick let out a short laugh. "Yeah, if they're wearing anything at all. Most of them are dressed like fucking hookers." The changes continued as Jeff's wardrobe shifted, becoming a rainbow colored jacket and hip hugging shorts while Nick changed into a tight pink bikini top and hot pink plaid skirt.

John chimed in. "I don't know... some of those dresses are really nice you know." He said as his clothes morphed into a long dress with a thick heavy shawl draping around his neck and arms. Blue eyeshadow materialized over his face followed by thick layers of foundation and blush. Dark pink lipstick slathered its way across his lips as a long cigarette holder sprung into existence in between his fingers.

"Oh and that hair!" Nick piped up in a higher pitch than his normal bass tone. "It's like, hello, ever hear of a solon?" Jeff and John nodded in agreement. "Oh totally, some of these girls are sporting like, total rat nests. It's called conditioner honey!" Jeff agreed. The trio giggled at that comment as their hair started to change, Nick's lengthening over just his ears while Jeffs streamed down his back. John ended up somewhere in the middle as his stopped just as it reached his shoulders. Jeff unconcounsously pulled his hair back into a ponytail as his shoes stretched into a pair thigh high boots. Nick and Johns sprouted into high heels and as such, both of them gained several inches. Not that they noticed. They were so engrossed in their comments about the parade that they didn't feel a thing as Nick and Jeff sprouted boobs, as their asses and hips expanded. They didn't feel a thing as their waists pinched in, as John gained a corset squeezing his sides to better give him an hourglass shape. They didn't even notice when Jeff and Nick lost some vital parts of the male anatomy and had it replaced with its opposite number or when their faces morphed into something decidedly more feminine. All they cared about was the parade that was passing before them and the way it made them feel on the inside. And even that was shifting as well.

As the parade rolled on, a group of drag queens traipsed down the street, wiggling feather boas at the crowd and blowing kisses every which way. Joanna sighed as she watched them go by. "Sigh! I wish I looked that good in a dress. My ass is so flat, it's depressing." Nikki lightly slapped her shoulder. "Hey girl, you look damn fine in what you're wearing. Don't be such a bummer on yourself!" Justina piped up as well. "Yeah, don't bitch about having a flat ass. Do you know how hard it is to squeeze this ass into pants anymore?" She said, gesturing to her thick booty that was protruding from her backside.

Nikki snorted in laughter. Grabbing her massive F-cup tits, she squeezed them together and thrust her chest out at Justina. "Here, I'll trade you. Your butt seat for my pillow toppers." The trio giggled furiously at that. Looking up, Joanna realized that there weren't any more people coming down the street. "Over already? Aw, what a bummer. I wanted to get some more ideas before my next drag show on Sunday!" She whined.

Justina rolled her eyes. "Oh god, what monstrosity of a dress are you planning for this one?"

Joanna blew her a kiss and winked. "I'll only tell you if you buy me a drink, sweetie."

Nikki perked up at that. Grinning from ear to ear she pumped a fist into the air. "Oh, hell yeah! Theres a pretty cool gay bar around the corner. Lets hit that up, I could use a top off!"