All Comments on 'Haven'

I loved your other stories, this one's plot/ premise is sound, but it is poorly executed. The text is rife with spelling, usage and agreement errors. The two characters' declaration of love seems both premature and immature. You've done well before, and this just seems like a lack luster effort or perhaps the publishing of a draft. I eagerly await your next polished piece.

WOW! That is quite the story. Even if is just that - a story. As I read it, I found mmyself and my wife. SHe is so much like Callie. SHe is my salvation. She takes the pain I have and makes it go away. Thank you for putting into words what has happened to my life. I need to go and tell my wife how much I love her for being my haven.

i agree with anonymous its a nice concept but your execution was off. Also the fact that it was filled with so many grammatical and spelling errors took out some of the enjoyment of reading the story. i also felt that you dragged the story out too much. Nice read otherwise.

I liked the slow pace u took with this story...the slow development of their sentiments and also the talk and how u pictured their feelings during the talk. I really enjoyed this particular story.

a story hasn't been able to touch me for a long time now - and you did with this one and 'A matter of trust'. they are both gems. I would disagree with all the other complainers that seems to make such a gigantic deal out of your spelling mistakes, you're only human! if you were a professional writer, then yes, I'd expect you to be nothing less than perfect. but you're not, so I don't know what the others are ranting on about.

I think you can definitely offer this to a publisher somewhere - with some editing here and there.

Do continue writing and take care!

They fought so hard against so many obstacles and demons to find their salvation and haven in each other! Beautiful! I love the realness of the streets and the whoring factor that many choose to do in order to survive...

Separate, every phrase, with a comma, you know?

It made the story difficult to read.

What does it mean to be dotted on? Not long after that I gave up.

You have something really powerful here, but it does read like a rough draft with punctuation, grammar and agreement problems, wrong autocorrect words and lurching development.

That is a truly memorable opening paragraph. Enter it in the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest! Atrocious just doesn’t do it justice.

Rushed ending and feels like some plot points werent taken advantage of. This is at most 2 star. You can do better, much better.