All Comments on 'Having Fun With My Aunt and Mom'

I thank the author for making things crystal clear in the very first paragraph; it killed the story for me in the very beginning, so I didn't have to waste my time reading the kind of story I dislike.

Definately want to see where this progresses. Please continue.

fantastic, i loved it

Way too much useless info in the first like 6 paragraphs and I don't want Ricky's cousin to fuck Ricky's mom just have Ricky help his cousin fuck his own mom

I liked it. Hot story.

Get Grammarly. It will help you in a lot of ways.

Listing everyone's heights and physical attributes sounds like some kooky police report. You use "pissed" and "pissed off" twice in the same paragraph and "curves" and "curvy" three times in another paragraph.

"Why, what is wrong with my dress?" - People don't speak in this formal way in casual conversation. They would say, "What's wrong..." You do that a lot. Try reading it all out loud to find out what doesn't sound right.

All numbers under 100 need to be written out, e.g. "forty-five" and not "45".

There is a lot of missing and incorrect punctuation. If your first language is not English, I suggest you get an editor or just write in your own language. I hope this is helpful.

Interesting story. The grammar problems interfered, though your previous stories were much better.

It's okay to use contractions in your writing.

First of all thank you all for reading my story and for your comments. Regarding the grammar mistakes, English is not my first language. I will try to do better on my other stories.

the aunt should get pregnant and Frank will get Beth pregnant because he missed out then will have and orgy with the boys lot of hot milky action!

Ricky is a rapist in the making. I wish i hadn't read this at all. Don't continue.

Not bad still needed some proof reading I saw some errors that were missed

You say English is not your first language, so here are a few tips:

"You are coming with us and that is final." my dad said angrily. "Now go and pack up your stuff."

"It is not all that bad honey" my mom said. "

People don't use this formal manner of speaking in everyday conversation. They use contractions. Listen to people around you speaking or even to TV characters talking casually.

Should be:

"YOU'RE coming with us and that's final." my dad said angrily."

"IT'S not all that bad(comma) honey" my mom said. ".

This one is particularly glaring:

"OK, let us go." he said. "You will drive."

"Okay, LET'S go(comma)" he said. "YOU'LL drive".

Your whole story contains this stiff, formal speech, even in the middle of sex: "I am cumming". I hope this is helpful!

such a hot story! what lucky women to know and be related to such a horny stud. i fingered off reading and dreaming about the lucky trip camping!

What is it with this pervert getting off on a couple of fat assed women???

Rapey. Definitely in wrong section. Rubbish story, poorly written, despite English being second language.