Hazel and Dan in the Hazy Days of Fall Bk. 07

I pulled the mattress off the beds and put folks on the mattress and box springs. I was as busy cleaning one up till about midnight when everyone was asleep.

I made a pitcher of Bloody Mary's with and without, set the coffee machine up, and turned mine on. I had glasses of water, Alka-seltzer, and aspirins put out next to the trash basket from the bathroom as Hazel got up and tossed her crayfish in the trash can as I held her hair out of the way.

I lay on the floor holding Hazel's hand, giving you water; I got the guys in the master bedroom with the same trick. Dawn came to the sound of some guy retching in the bathroom. I go and check it's Bob. I hand a glass of water and plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Well, Bob only borrowed it, and I gave him more. I hear one of the ladies going to the bathroom, same story. By ten am, I had seen the walking dead, passed out water and coffee with things for hangovers.

The bloody Mary's went quickly, but Hazel wanted to be like her Mom and asked for one, took one sip, and was back in the bathroom talking to the throne. Pops came out and asked. "Who wants breakfast? To moans. I winked at him, and he said your friends are lightweights."

I felt no need to say I held Jane's hair out of her face or watched aunt Liz talk to a trash can more than once. But then, Hazel came to me and says. "This way, you don't drink?"

I say. "Yes, it is, but hell, you ladies cut loose and burned the town down; you guys were a blast to be with."

I was trying not to recall how bad it was after five ladies tossing cookies or the smells.

Hazel says. "Hold on, who cared for my Mom and me last night?"

"I did, baby." I say.

You say. "And the guys who took care of the guys?"

"I did, baby." I laughed as I said it.

"Our Aunts?" Hazel asked.

"I did, baby." I answered.

"Wait, you took care of all of us?" Hazel asked, mouth open wide.

I say. "Yes, my love, how could I not."

"All of us?" You asked again.

"Yes, baby, I did."

Hazel gets up and goes to the living room to sounds. "No way; Dan held my hair out of my face."

I sipped my coffee, and the light changed as a room of people all tried to hug me at once. Someone grabs my butt.

Hazel goes. "Mom!" As she winks at me.

Jean says. "Behave, dear."

Hazel's GED test is Tuesday, I plan on driving you there, but I thought of waiting there, but the test is a good six hours. So I'm dropping you off and waiting for a phone call to pick you up.

Church called Saturday morning, two days before her GED test. Although we had nothing to do, we decided to go. They said they wanted to see us check on our purity and pre-marriage counseling--or Sunday school morality, as I called it. Getting there, they asked if she was a virgin, but they did not ask me if I was. Hazel looked at me as this guy who had never met lectured us on what we should or could not do. Finally, the white shirt, black tie guy says. "Let me call in someone to wait with Dan while I take her to the restroom to see if her hymen is intact."

Hazel says. "Bullshit, Dan, we're leaving."

I say. "No, we are fucking not leaving. Get your boss, The Reverend, in here Now."

Holding on both sides of his metal desk. A few creaking noises followed, then the popping got louder.

The white shirt guy says. "You can't get married without this test."

The next sound was the rest of the cheap bolts snapping off as his desktop bent and came off. That stopped the talking; he was reaching for the intercom button one read restroom, who needs an intercom in a restroom.

Hazel, behind me, says calmly. "Call your boss in here before this becomes you fucker." Your wicked smile scared even me.

The desktop snapped off and was bent beyond repair. I pulled out my wallet and placed three hundred bucks on a bent desk. He picked up the intercom and asked for his boss.

I told Hazel. "He better talk 'cause Hulk smash!"

It took Hazel only twelve minutes to run down all the salient points to the dear Reverend.

You pointed to the desk and say. "Send us a bill if it's over three Franklin's, and we will replace the desk. If this guy is still working at this church, we are filing sexual assault charges on his ass and this church. Now It's your choice."

I pick up the phone; the white shirt guy starts to take the phone from me. I laughed at him.

I asked. "The operator for the Vice department, please."

The pastor says. "The main office sent him here."

I asked. "For Danny in vice. I told him where I was and what had transpired, and he asked to speak to the Reverend."

The white shirt guy tried to leave, but my one hand on his shoulder kept him from doing so. The Reverend started going on that she never get married in this church and lots of meaner things. I looked at Hazel, and she nodded her head. The Reverend wanted to leave a few minutes later. Again my big hands kept him from going. Finally, he tossed the white shirt guy at me and broke away, running into a police officer.

The officer says. "Well, you seem to be in a hurry, sir. That's odd; you called your Mae's friend, right?" He says, looking at me.

Hazel says. "Yes, we are Dan and soon-to-be Mrs. Hazel Bogart. These slimy ass snakes want to see If I am a virgin. I got a mad look at what I did to this prick's desk.

I spoke up and say. "Smells bad; like their taking photos in the restroom, they have a button on the intercom marked restroom. So I say let's look; you're going to show the restroom to us, right Reverend? Or do we drink coffee waiting for the warrant and the five pm news?"

I grinned and say. "Well, what happened to your silly desk?" The officer looks at the desk and then at me. I laughed. "If I had not seen it myself, I would never have believed it. Warrant or coffee, I'm easy either way."

Hazel says. "I going to pee, baby."

I say. "If you see something, don't say a word till after the police go and look and find it saw it on a cop show once. Better yet, go to the other restroom."

Hazel returned, pulled her arm back, and I stopped you. "Sorry baby, I can't let you hit him, but I understand the anger, baby."

I hold you, I hear. "I'm calm, baby."

I say. "Don't care not letting you go. I know how mad you are."

When you start crying, I take you to the hall. I saw more police come in and talk to officer Danny came over and says. "You guys go home. I come by and get your statements."

I give him our address, and he says. "Thanks for not letting her hit him. I'm sorry, Ma'am, I would have had to take you in."

I Say. "Baby, let's go home."

Hazel says in the car. "There is a two-way mirror behind the restroom and a trash can full of dirty tissues and trash from Polaroids. I'm sorry, baby; I saw my brother perving on Mae and me getting into our swimsuits..."

We got home Hazel says. "I want a shower. I felt dirty and wanted to change."

I went and told John and Ellen what happened and asked. "Please call Jean, please. Hazel wanted a shower. It might be a while. The officer is due here to take our statements."

I run up, and you are in the shower on your knees, crying, the water hitting you. You are still dressed; kicking my shoes off and dropping my shirt tossing my keys and things in my pocket on the bed, I get in and hold you.

I wash your hands softly. You were washing them, and you broke crying in my arms. The water runs cold I turn it off, undress, then dry you. I hold you in my robe. I hear a knock at the door. I go, it's Jean. I'll let you in. I change into dry things. I return dressed, brushing my hair as Hazel told you what she saw.

Jean's grim face matches mine as we held you between us. Hazel says. "Dan stopped me; Mom or I would have hurt him. I was so mad I forgot to ask Dan to do it."

Jean says. "Hazel Ellen Campbell, you didn't?"

Hazel answered you. "No, Mom, I wanted to, but you should have seen those shits face's when Dan bent a metal desk to make pretzels out of it. You should have seen it, nothing but white eyes."

Hazel says. "Well fuck this. I'll get dressed, Mom. I want coffee and cake and fucking Ice cream."

Again she breaks into tears and sobs. Again, Jean and I hold you as you cry. Then, finally, I heard a knock on the door; it was Bob, he says. "The officer called and is on his way."

Bob and Jean hold you as I move to the floor and hold your hand.

Bob Asked. "What happened?"

Jean says. "I'll fill you in later, baby; it's bad."

Jean says. "Dan, stay with her as she dresses."

I watched you, my eyes holding yours as you dressed, and you say. "Thank you, baby; let's get this over with. Fuck baby, it was my dream to be married there."

I say. "I hire a country club, an event hall, hell, a hotel, or anywhere you say Baby; I love and need you. Not a fucking place."

Hazy says. "Let's go. I love you, Dude, so fucking much."

I say. "You bet your sweet bippy you do!"

We were given coffee and a piece of dense carrot cake made with love by Ellen. Bob filled in John on the essential details. Then, Bob went and made a phone call, came back in, and says. "The Church main office has been called, but Sorry, Hazel baby, but they seemed like they may have heard this before they hung up on me and won't take my calls."

The police took our statements, the news hit, and reports were coming in on more than one story like ours.