He Couldn't Believe it Was All Gone

Vicki whispered through her tears. "When I asked her, Mom said you refused to pay for my college. That she was trying to get you to pay more, but you refused to."

"Okay, okay. Look, Vicki, please stop crying, honey. We will figure this out somehow. Not that it matters now, but what happened to all the money I've been sending to your mother all those years? I mean it hasn't been as much as it was, but there have been support payments for you, Vicki, right up until today.

"And, I guess your mother just forgot to tell me about Whit disappearing too as I kept sending her support payments? Where did all that money go?"

"Believe it or not, Dad, Houston isn't really a bad guy. He's just... well to be honest both Mom and he are more like overgrown kids than adults. Within a year after the divorce, they had a huge pool put in the backyard...They party more than we ever did. And he, he has a lot of toys and things, so..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." He said disgustedly. "You'll have to forgive me if I disagree with your assessment of Houston's character, but none of that helps us now, does it?" A thought struck Adrian. "What about you, Brain, do you, are you in school?"

"I'm good Dad. The government is paying for my school. I'll owe them six years after I graduate next year, but it's all good. I will be working in the US Space Force Branch of the service." He got a wry smile. "I mean, everyone still calls me Brain." And he gave a little 'what are you gonna do' shrug of his shoulders.

Adrian was impressed and proud of his son. He was too overcome to say anything, but they made eye contact, and both understood.

"And, Vicki, how much money do you have saved?"

"Only a couple thousand, Dad. I'm just a waitress..."

"Don't put yourself down, honey; waiting tables is hard and decent work." Adrian grasped the reality, that in his past life, he would have been embarrassed had his daughter been a waitress. "Some of the best people I know are waiting tables for a living. Others drive trucks. I'm proud of you, and what you are trying to accomplish."

That was another thing Adrian had to thank his ex-wife for. If it weren't for her selfishness, he would never have had the opportunity to develop the deep bond that now existed between the two brothers. Because of the gap in their ages, they were never close while growing up. And, once Adrian became enamored of money and acquiring possessions, they drifted further apart as adults.

One of the many actualities Adrian had learned after swallowing his pride and sleeping on his brother's couch was that Garland was a better man than he. When a person loses everything, they don't have a lot to do. So you have plenty of time for introspection. The truth Adrian had to admit was that he probably wouldn't have done the same for his brother had their situations been reversed.

One night when he was at his lowest point, drinking way too much, and wallowing in his misery, he asked Garland and Killy, through his alcohol induced haze, why they were helping him. They both appeared shocked at the question and responded together, "Because you're family."

Garland seemed genuinely hurt. "How could you even ask me that question, Adrian?"

From that point forward, he looked at their world differently. What he saw affected him deeply. He recognized that what he once thought a perfect world was actually an illusion based on holdings, not substance. Garland and Killy were far closer than he and Dallas had ever been. They shared every human experience, however simple it seemed. Their children had half the possessions his kids did, yet they seemed happier and more fulfilled.

He had once thought his was a perfect world, yet he never really knew how shallow it was. He didn't remember who had said it, but, 'significant change only occurs out of desperation,' was apropos to his life. All those people at AI who smiled at him, laughed at his jokes, and nodded their heads at every sentence he uttered; they only liked him for what he could do for them. They all vanished when he got in trouble.

He and Garland grew very close. When he had trouble finding work, his brother had his company higher him as his swamper. The many hours on the road allowed them the opportunity to grow even closer. They would often stop for lunch at the Denny's where Killy worked. That's where he learned how hard she toiled. When she got home, Killy worked even harder. She never complained. He asked her why once, and she told him that she had a great life, what was there to complain about? Adrian was learning that being a simple person didn't equate to being a simpleton. Simple people were more direct, appreciated and expected honesty, and helped others even when there was nothing to gain by it.

When Adrian finally was able to land a job opportunity, it would pay him more than he was making unloading trucks, but less than half of what he was making at AI. Adrian enjoyed working with Garland so much he almost turned it down. If it wasn't for Garland, he would have.

"Don't be an idiot, Adrian. First of all, you aren't that good a swamper. Second, you can't live on our couch forever. Look at it; we're going to have to buy a new one once you're gone. Third and most importantly, you will need your own place for when your kids come back to you. And I promise you, someday they will."

The day Adrian moved into his rented cottage, he bought Killy and Garland a new couch, a sleeper sofa, just in case.

Adrian's mind came back to the present. When the kids come back to me.

"Ok, Vicki, here's what we are going to do. You are going to move in with me, rent-free. Of course, you'll have to help with some of the chores around here to keep the place together. And, I'm sure it won't be what you expected, but we need to get you registered at State. It's cheaper, but I can't afford much more than that. I'm guessing though, that with your job, us applying for grants and scholarships, and me kicking in some money, we can get you through. I don't make a lot, but now that all my alimony and child support is over, I should have a few extra dollars.

"That will buy us some time so that after you get your BA we can get you into a good Master's or Ph.D. program afterward. The key though, is you keeping your grades up! You and I will work together on that."

"Dad, I couldn't impose..."

"Shush now. It's decided."

"Yes sir."

"Brain, you can sleep on the couch if you want."

"No, I'm good. I'm in the dorms."

"Ok then. One more thing. I'm hoping your mother doesn't know where I live?" They both shook their heads vigorously. "Good! Let's keep it that way. Now, how soon can you get Vic moved in here?"

All three stood and wrapped their arms around one another. They smiled warmly, and they knew everything would work out.

Epilogue:

Brain and Vicki's relationship with their mother deteriorated dramatically and rapidly. After confronting Dallas with the discrepancies in the story she had been told about the divorce things escalated quickly.

"Vicki, first of all, why are you choosing to believe your father's lies over me? After all, he abandoned us! Why haven't you been home?"

Vicki responded patiently, ignoring her growing anger. "Mother, what happened to my college fund? You know, the one that was set up with my dad's equity in the house?" There was dead silence from Dallas' end of the phone conversation. It was obvious she was formulating a lie so Vicki continued. "I mean, it's odd that I am looking at a piece of paper from Merrill Edge with my name on it as beneficiary, and it shows a zero balance? Goodbye Mother. If I never speak with you again, it will be too soon."

Brain never really communicated much at all with his mother from that day forward. After graduating college, he was stationed at Vandenberg Space Force Base across the country, in California. In fact, he hadn't seen his mother in person since the day he reunited with his father. Adrian did tell him that Dallas would be attending Vicki's upcoming wedding because he didn't want him to be shocked or cause a scene.

"Look, Brain, it will be the first time we will all be together in..."

"Yeah, Dad, except for Whitney." He sounded melancholy. His missing sister still saddened him all these years later.

"You're right, of course, except for Whitney." There wasn't much more Adrian could say about it. "But nonetheless, you understand what I'm saying. I think it's about time that you and Vic at least reestablished a minimal relationship with your mother..."

"Yeah, and what about you, Dad? Shouldn't you?"

"No, and it's not the same. She will always be your mother; I am just her ex-husband. However, if I ever do see her I can be civil. That's really all I'm asking for from you two anyway."

As her wedding day drew closer, Adrian sat Vicki down one night before bed. Vicki still lived with him. As she was in her final semester before obtaining her master's degree, she saw no reason to move out until after the wedding. She and her fiancé had already leased an apartment on a short-term basis. Vicki had recently applied for work at Cal Tech's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, California, so they didn't want to be tied down.

"But, Dad, the wedding is in five days! What do you mean you have to go away?"

"It's just for a couple of days, sweetheart. Everything is set with the wedding anyway."

"But I need you here. What if..."

"Relax, Vic, ok I'll tell you the truth. Your wedding present was supposed to be delivered the day after tomorrow, but the shipping got messed up. Anyway, I have to go to fly out to the West to pick it up. Brain will be coming back with me on Wednesday night. So just relax, will you?"

"Dad, your present to me was letting me back into your life. I don't need anything else."

Vicki wasn't happy but understood. She was always a daddy's girl when she was very young and had become one again after she moved back in with him. She had also become one of the neighborhood ladies who constantly pestered Adrian to find 'someone' as they always put it.

At least once a week, he would patiently explain the difference between being lonely and being alone to the group.

"Besides ladies, I have a couple of women from work that I do things with." And he'd wink at them. He would then start hugging and tickling all of them as they tittered away at him. "I don't need anyone else to take care of me when I have all of you doing your best to fatten me up!"

This exchange would usually end when one or more of the ladies' husbands' would yell to Adrian to quit messing around and get back into the living room because the game was starting.

True to his word, Adrian returned a couple of days later and Brain was with him. All three stayed in the cottage together and had a wonderful time. Both Brain and Vicki were excited about the probability that they might soon be living only about one hundred and fifty miles apart.

Finally, the day of the wedding arrived. It was a small frugal event that Vicki and the neighborhood ladies had planned flawlessly. Somehow Dallas had become aware early in the planning stage of Vicki's forthcoming nuptials and wanted in on it. She was summarily dismissed by the 'ladies' even before Vicki could say no. All eight of the women considered themselves Vicki's mother, Having heard the story from Vicki, they had no use for Dallas.

It was a beautiful day as the assembled fifty or so guests sat patiently awaiting the arrival of the bride along with her fiancé and his groomsmen.

Brain looked a little out of place as one of Vicki's nine bridesmaids as he stood resplendent in his Class A uniform next to the neighborhood ladies. Adrian teased him that the uniform looked like he stole it from the old Star Trek wardrobe room.

Just as Vicki exited the Brides room in the church to take her father's arm and have him escort her to the altar and her future life, Adrian said, "Oh wait a minute, I forgot your present." He disappeared for a moment.

"Dad, get back here, what the...? OH...MY...GOD!"

When Adrian returned he had her sister, Whitney on his other arm. "I thought we both should walk you up the aisle." He smiled as broadly as he ever had. "Do you mind?"

The wedding was delayed for about thirty minutes. It took some time for Vicki and Whitney to let go of each other. Then Vicki had to do a quick repair job on her makeup. But eventually, all three made it to the altar. Of course, then there was another slight delay for Brain's reunion with Whitney. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Just before the pastor started to read, a loud pitiful wailing began rising from the back of the small church. No one in the wedding party even turned to look. They knew who it was and why she was so forlorn. The ceremony continued without interruption after a member of the groom's family hustled Dallas out of the church.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying the reception. Adrian laughed to himself. He thought that Vicki's husband, Anthony, must be a very understanding man indeed because Vicki spent more time with her sister than him at the reception. Whitney had to forcibly remove herself from her sister, so Vicki and Anthony could have their first dance together!

The wedding had been an amazing yet exhausting period for Adrian. After ensuring all the guests were settled and enjoying themselves, he got a drink from the bar then headed outside to the patio to find a quiet place of reflection. It wasn't all that many years ago he thought his life over, but now, it had never been so full. He was a grateful and very contented man.

"Hello, Adrian."

"bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip!"

The horrid sound of a needle screeching across the surface of a vinyl record disc that Adrian hadn't heard since he was a small child echoed piercingly inside his head. He was so startled by his Pavlovian response to her voice Adrian almost dropped his drink. He intellectually realized this would happen today but, somehow, he had hoped it wouldn't.

"Dallas." He stood without grunting and pulled out a chair for Dallas. He gentlemanly motioned for her to sit down while he remained standing. The preceding years had not been kind to Dallas. She had a precipitous weight gain. Her always petite but curvy body shape had morphed into a pear shape. Her once beautiful blonde hair was thin and stringy now with a lot of grays mixed in. It was immediately obvious to Adrian that her always meticulous grooming habits were long gone. Her matronly dress made her look even dowdier.

"Where did you...how did you find Whitney?"

Adrian wanted to snap at her but held his tongue. "It's a long story, but let it suffice to say it wasn't easy. After I located her, at no small expense, I might add, I thought I had it all worked out over the phone with her to attend her sister's wedding. But, at the last minute, she couldn't bring herself to attend. She said 'it would be too traumatic and might undo all of her efforts to overcome her issues with her childhood.' So I had to fly to Oregon to meet in person with her to convince her to come.

"And, I had to hide what I was doing from both Brain and Vicki because I wasn't sure I could get her to return. By the way, you are going to have a lot to answer for with her. Even more so, than your other two children.

"I know you aren't with Houston anymore. But if you see him, you might want to let him know, that unless I miss my guess, there is no statute of limitation on the 'issues' Whitney is dealing with. She is still coming to grips with your role in it all, too."

Dallas thought it better to change the subject. "Thank you for the invitation. I know it was you that made it happen. When I thanked Vicki for inviting me she told me it was your idea. She said if it was up to her, I wouldn't have been here." And she began to cry. "Why did you invite me, Adrian?" she struggled.

"I didn't do it for you, Dallas. I did it for our children. They need to have a relationship with their mother, if for no other reason than to allow them to let go of the past.

"As for me, well, I really don't mean this as harshly as it will sound, but, if I never see you again, I am completely ok with that."

Dallas choked back another fit of sobs.

Adrian softened his tone a little. "Don't misunderstand me, if, in the future, our paths should cross I can be cordial. I won't even go out of my way to avoid you. It's just that I think of you as only another person whose life once intersected with mine a long time ago.

I didn't go after you legally for the money you and your 'friend' stole from your children because that would have dragged you back into my life. I didn't want to waste my precious time and energy with that negativity.

"I would like an answer to the one question that has still bothered me all these years later though. Were you always an immature, self-centered narcissist and I was just blinded by my love for you? Or, did something happen at some point after we got married, that made you become that way?"

"I understand your anger with me, Adrian, but really does it matter now?"

"I didn't think it did, but yes, it does matter to me. A great deal, as a matter-of-fact." He was surprised at how calm he was. "I mean, you purposely set out to destroy my life. I would at least like to know why? For Christ's sake, one minute I had what I thought was the perfect wife, and the next, my world fell apart. Things just don't happen like that!"

"Believe it or not, Adrian, I didn't set out to destroy you. And, no, things don't 'just happen.' I really wasn't that happy for a long time. I realized at some point that my whole existence consisted of supporting others goals'. There was no me, and I wanted there to be more to my life.

"The thing with Houston, just sort of happened. I met him at the gym. He was funny and carefree. He flattered me to the point where I felt like I was back in high school. After we started having...I mean, we became intimate...well that's when I got stupid. I don't know why, but somehow I thought you wouldn't mind it so much, as long as nothing changed in your world. I figured your image was more important than your ego.

"When I told you about it, I figured you would be angry, but I thought we could talk it out. When you reacted the way you did, I guess I just snapped and turned into a vicious shrew. After I realized we were done, I guess I just decided to make you miserable and worry about my own happiness."

Adrian just shook his head. He knew she hadn't honestly answered his question. Over time humans tend to rationalize their bad behavior to allow themselves to live with what they had done. She probably actually believed the crap she was selling. If she didn't, then like most people, she couldn't lie to herself any longer and still, think she was a good person.

But, Dallas's tears of regret were genuine and flowing freely, as she wept unabashedly. It took several minutes for her to calm down enough to speak.

"I'm sorry I ruined your life, Adrian. I-I-I was such a fool."

"You didn't ruin my life, Dallas, you saved it." He ceased speaking for a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing. "Turning my children against me was unforgivable. But, everything else you took from me, I found I didn't really need anyway.

"Do you know that the job I've had now for longer than the one at Austin Industries still only pays me about half of what I made before? Yet, I feel like I'm richer than ever. I spend my money now on important things, instead of designer suits, fancy cars, exorbitant vacations, and so forth. Frankly, I like the person I am now, much better than the one I was before."

Adrian couldn't help himself. "Do you remember what you told me all those years ago, Dallas?"

"No?"

"I said, at least I had my self-respect, and you told me you had everything else. Well, I still have my self-respect and so much more. What do you have left?" Adrian turned and walked away.