He Loved Lucy

David Price loved his wife, Lucy Gordon. Or rather, he had loved her. They had met at a party held by a mutual friend, Helen White, who had recently reconnected with David on Facebook.

Helen later told David that she had decided to get Lucy and him together, as she felt they'd make a 'swell couple.'

David had been a friend of Helen for a number of years, but after she had met and married a somewhat mysterious multibillionaire called Alex White, they had pretty much lost touch.

He had heard through the grapevine that Helen had developed a medical condition that would eventually lead to her death.

When David had broached the subject to her after they had reconnected at the party, she'd grinned and shook his concern off, saying: "We're all going to die eventually, David, so try not to let it worry you, as I'm living a good life. Anyway, I have someone I'd like you to meet, my good friend Lucy Gordon. I think you'll like her." Which was how David met Lucy.

David had been immediately captivated by Lucy. She was several inches shorter than his six feet, she had a soft body that demanded cuddles and her beautiful face, framed by her slightly wavy blond hair, looked to be the epitome of angelic innocence and honesty.

But it was her smile that really clinched it for David. When she smiled it was as if the sun had come out. He was truly smitten. An example of love at first sight. At least as far as he had been concerned.

She proved to be good company, intelligent and witty and she was using her business degree to good effect working for an investment house. They had talked at the party for what seemed like hours and they had really hit it off.

At the end of the party David and Lucy exchanged 'phone numbers and they dated exclusively from that point on. After six months Lucy took the opportunity of the Leap Year tradition of a woman being able to propose to a man by proposing to David.

He accepted and they both chose nice engagement rings and wedding bands at the leading jewelers in town, Solarise Helve. It was owned by some friends of Alex White.

Even after the marriage David found visits to Lucy's parents to be something of an ordeal as they never seemed to fully warm to him. Oh, they were always polite and reasonably cordial but they seemed distant and standoffish to David.

When he mentioned this to Lucy she pooh poohed his concerns, dismissing them. However he did wonder if she had said something to her parents about his concerns because he was pretty certain they were, going forward, trying to make something of an effort to get on better with him, which had some limited success.

There was something that had puzzled David about the wedding. According to Lucy and Helen, Lucy had always wanted an unconventional wedding. Lucy asked David if he had any problems with the idea of an unconventional wedding and he'd shrugged and said "Not really. But exactly how unconventional would it be?"

Lucy and Helen had both giggled and said "Oh, nothing too bad. Nothing major, that is. Nothing like the bride and groom going skyclad or anything outrageous like that!"

Lucy had gone on to explain that she would like an old friend of hers from her college days to perform the wedding ceremony. Her friend, she had said, had become a Hare Krishna devotee who, after the rulings of Swami Prabhupada in the States, was able to become a Hare Krishna priest, along with a number of other females and was, she told him, licensed to perform marriages.

One of the stipulations of the officiant was that there was to be absolutely no official wedding photographer as that would, she firmly stated, adversely impact the karmic vibrations of the wedding. Or something. Although he was disappointed there would be no official photographic or videographic record of their wedding, if that was the only issue, David had thought it a small price to pay.

The wedding was conducted on a sunny, warm day in the open air in the grounds of a mansion owned by Alex and Helen not far from the city.

The reception was held in a bar owned and operated by another friend of David's, Rhiannon, who he had met at college. She was a feisty and petite woman of Welsh heritage who had named the bar "y dafarn Gymreig" which was Welsh for 'the Welsh pub' though it was known to everyone in the local community as the Y Bar.

The reception was paid for by Lucy's parents and it had been successful, though David had been intrigued when he had seen, at a distance, Rhiannon talking animatedly and somewhat forcefully, but quietly, to his new bride. Lucy had shaken her head "no" and Rhiannon had shrugged expressively, spoken a few more words to Lucy and headed back behind the bar. He had asked Lucy about it and she had shrugged it off as "girl talk."

Lucy and David enjoyed a two week honeymoon in Carmel-by-the-Sea in California, where they stayed in the best hotel in the quaint English style village, L'Auberge Carmel, Relais & Chateaux.

When they returned to the city, they had set up home in a townhouse that had been gifted to Lucy by her parents several years before she had met David. David had lived in a modest apartment he owned, which he had sold when he moved in with his new wife.

Lucy continued working for her investment house and David carried on working as a software developer and programmer from home, and they had a fairly wonderful three years of married life. When David had raised the prospect of children Lucy had said: "Oh, David... I'm not ready for children yet. There's plenty of time for raising a family later."

David had no family, he was an only child, his parents were dead, so he and Lucy spent every Christmas during their marriage at the home of her parents. They treated him well, but he always felt as if he was considered as something of an intruder or an outsider. A guest, rather than the husband of their daughter. Lucy denied that and claimed her parents were not very demonstrative and that it was just their way and that he should just ignore that part of their personalities.

After Lucy and David had been married for three years, Helen eventually succumbed to her illness and she passed away in the June of the third year.

The funeral took place in the cathedral of their city, and Alex had really gone all out in ensuring his wife had a very good send off with the service being conducted by the archbishop and the wake held in an exclusive country club.

Over the next six months, David noticed Lucy seemed distracted and appeared to be distancing herself from him. When he asked her if anything was wrong she denied it, claiming she was having difficulties getting over Helen's death.

David accepted her explanation, but was concerned she seemed to be distancing herself from him more and more, and that their previously vigorous and enjoyable sex life had fallen off a cliff.

Lucy always had a reasonable explanation as to their lack of intimacy and David felt like a heel for bringing it up. After all, Helen had been a dear friend to both Lucy and himself, and Lucy obviously keenly felt her loss, perhaps even more than David?

Come that December, Lucy seemed even more distant: troubled, in some way that David could not divine.

Things came to a head on the afternoon of Christmas Eve. They were sitting at the table in their dining room, drinking coffee.

Lucy looked pensive. After regarding him for several long moments, she said, "David... I won't be spending time with my parents this Christmas."

That took David by surprise. Shocked him, even, as Lucy's relationship with her parents was really strong and loving and she had spent every Christmas of her life with them, as far as he knew.

"Oh, really? Okay. What are we doing instead? Going to a resort hotel? Spending a romantic Christmas here, together? If it's the latter, we don't have any holiday foods in but I'm sure we can run out to Wholefoods Market or even Walmart and get some foods for our Christmas dinner? Get an Amazon Groceries delivery? Or we could see if we can make a late booking for a table at one of the restaurants in town, if you'd rather?"

She shook her head and said: "I'm sorry David, but I obviously wasn't clear in what I said. I won't be spending time with my parents this Christmas, but you will be spending time with my parents this Christmas."

She pursed her lips before continuing, noticing the confused look on his face. "David, Alex White, Helen's widower has invited me to take one of his his corporate jets to his private island and to spend Christmas and New Year with him there."

"Aren't I invited, too? After all, I was Helen's friend as well."

"David, damn, this is hard for me to say... but, you aren't invited because Alex has proposed marriage to me and I have accepted his proposal and we are going to be wed by a Pastor friend of his in a private ceremony in a chapel attached to his house on the island. I'll spend Christmas and New Year and most likely the first half of January with him there, as his new wife."

David's initial shock was starting to be replaced with anger. "Aren't you and he forgetting that you and I are already married? That we are already husband and wife?"

She looked at him, sadly and shook her head, gently. "David we are not married because the officiant at our "wedding" was not really a Hari Krishna priest, she really was an old college friend of mine, but she was on a drama degree course when I first met her. She's an actress.The whole wedding was a hoax."

"The fuck?" was his response. Never before had Lucy heard two words so imbued with anger, loss, sadness and incredulity. She'd always known this moment would come and that it would be difficult for both her and David, but she had to steel herself for the difficult task ahead.

"What about your friend Helen? She's hardly been dead for only five minutes and you and her husband are already getting married? What the hell would Helen think about this crazy idea?"

Lucy looked at him with sympathy. "David, the truth is that not only did Helen know all about this entire situation, having you as a sort of false husband was Helen's idea in the first place."

David shook his head. "And to think I wasted my time and energy mourning that bitch. Just shows what a fucking idiot I was, doesn't it? And I thought Helen was my friend, too. Why did she have me set up to be made a fool of?" He sounded bitter.

"You weren't made a fool of, although I can see why you might think that. And Helen really was your friend, no matter what you might think.."

"Helen was no friend of mine. And what was the point in having a fake wedding? I don't understand?"

Lucy said: "When we were a bit younger, Alex, Helen and I had a menage a trois. When we found out that Helen had a terminal illness we decided that after Helen died Alex and I would marry. But a business rival of Alex found out about our somewhat 'interesting' lifestyle and tried to use that information to hurt Alex.

"We had a brainstorming session and we surmised that if I appeared to get married, Alex's rival wouldn't be able to blackmail him as what the blackmailer had on us would be negated, because we'd be able to point to the fact that Alex and Helen were married and I was married, too.

"Helen came up with the idea of me pretending to get married with an actor playing the role of my husband, but we realized Alex's business rival might get wind of that. We'd given the idea up until Helen said that if we could sort of trick someone into marrying me in a bogus ceremony, then we'd be safe from the blackmailer and Helen said, 'I think I have the ideal person to play the unwitting part of your husband, Lucy. Leave it with me."

David shook his head and spoke bitterly. "So that's why the fucking bitch looked me up on Facebook? She was looking for a sap, a damn dupe and I fitted the bill. You and they played a wicked, cruel trick on me. And I'll just bet you three had a damn good laugh at my expense."

Lucy shook her head. "No, I can promise you that we never laughed about you. Look, this whole thing went on much longer than we three had expected. The prognosis for Helen was pretty bleak back then. According to her doctors she was expected to last no longer than three or maybe four months after you and I were married. But she rallied, she responded well to a change in her meds and as a result, the marriage between you and I lasted not the three months we'd expected, but for three years, instead."

"What difference would that have made, Lucy?"

"It meant that the pretend marriage between you and I lasted for much longer than we had intended. Instead of a brief marriage and a relatively simple, quick parting of the ways for you and I, the situation grew out of hand. Alex, Helen and I have talked about it and we realized that the pain and upset you would have felt at three months into the phony marriage must be way worse at year three into it.

"Not long before she passed Helen said that she was wishing she hadn't come up with the idea in the first place, but that there wasn't really anything we could have done now because no matter what happened, you would end up being the person who was hurt by it all. But she had no idea when she launched the idea that she would live for another three years, and that the situation would have gotten so big and so badly out of hand and needed to be put right. Or as right as we could."

"Out of hand? You three conspiring to make me to be nothing but a laughingstock is what you consider to be out of hand? Anyway, what plans have you come up with to put it right?"

Lucy shrugged, and said, "Yes, we have worked out some plans. As I intend to be living with Alex most of the time, you can stay living in the townhouse for literally as long as you need or as long as you want. After all, we all felt that you being made homeless by my marriage to Alex would have been wrong. Also, because there's no legally binding marriage between us, there'll be no alimony on either side.

"But having said that, Alex and I feel there's no justice in you just being shunted out of the way with nothing to show for the three years of marriage between you and I, so we're making a cash settlement. Or rather Alex is. He told me he'd make a substantial payment into your bank account this week."

David shrugged. "Paying his way out of trouble? Sort of typical.

"Anyway, why do you want me to stay at your parent's home this Christmas? After all, they've never warmed to me, but then they would have known I was a fake husband, which would have been why they wouldn't bother getting to know me."

"They weren't happy with the situation, but they wanted me to be happy with Alex, eventually, when we married after Helen passed. I want you to stay with my parents over Christmas because I don't feel it would be right for you to spend Christmas alone. I really don't."

"Really? Why? After all, I'll have to be alone eventually."

"Yeah, but Christmas is kind of special, isn't it?"

"Maybe. But not for me. Not now."

"I hope in time that Christmas will be a good time of year for you again and that Alex, myself and you will become friends again."

"I doubt that will happen, to be honest."

Lucy stood up. "I'll have to go now. Can I have a hug?"

David got to his feet and responded to her hug, but the lack of passion from him worried Lucy. "David, although I wasn't your real wife, I hope I played the part well, to the best of my abilities. It might sound trite, but I hope that in some way, I was a good wife for you. I'm sure that you'll be able to find someone worthy of your love who you can marry who can be your real wife. Maybe have children with. Incidentally, Alex and I will provide funding for counseling and therapy to help you reach that goal."

David said: "This answers the question as to why you didn't want children. You do want children, but not fathered by me, your loser fake husband."

She shook her head, tears started to form in her eyes, but she couldn't deny what he had said.

Tthen she was gone and David felt more alone than he had in many, many years; in fact, since the loss of his parents.

He briefly considered getting drunk but decided against that idea because why let those bastards continue influencing how he lived his life?

What did he do instead? He made himself a pot of tea, opened a pack of chocolate chip cookies and began writing code. Ironically, he was very productive.

He decided against sleeping in the bed that he had shared with his not-a-wife. Instead, he chose to sleep in one of the guest rooms. He slept reasonably well and if he had any dreams, he couldn't remember any of them.

He awoke the next morning and went about his day just like any other day, although without having a wife to consider and he was not feeling in the holiday season mood. He ate a bowl of breakfast cereal, although he wasn't feeling hungry. After breakfast, he decided to go on a walk. He had no firm destination in mind.

Even though it was Christmas Day, the weather wasn't particularly cold. On his walk he saw several people, seasonal greetings were exchanged with some, mainly "Happy Holidays" with a few "Happy Christmases" or "Merry Christmasses," too.

Eventually, by chance, he found himself at a familiar landmark, in the street outside "y dafarn Gymreig." He looked at a notice on the door: 'Christmas Day opening hours 11AM 'til 3PM.'

He looked at his watch. "It's ten minutes to three," he said to himself. "I wonder if Rhiannon still owns it?"

He opened the door and stepped into the Y Bar. There were several people in the bar scattered throughout the large room, sitting at tables. It looked pretty much what it was. A bar with a few patrons still in it, winding down, waiting until it was time to go home.

Suddenly there was a squeal of recognition and Rhiannon shouted his name. "David! It's so good to see you. But where's your 'lovely' wife?"

He walked over to the bar and embraced her, wondering why Rhiannon had sounded so disdainful when she had mentioned Lucy. Had Rhiannon heard about the fake wedding?

"She's not here. Not with me. In fact, it turned out Lucy and I were never really married in the first place."

The shocked expression on Rhiannon's face told David that she hadn't been aware of the fact the wedding had been faked.

She snagged two clean glasses with one hand, a half filled bottle of Bourbon with the other and handed them to David. "David, just hold that thought for a little while and take these glasses and the bottle through to the room behind the bar and pour us both a drink whilst I get the last of my customers to go home, lock up and set the alarms."

Five minutes later, she followed David into the office and staff room and accepted the drink David proffered her. She took a gulp and said: "David, just what the hell happened? You aren't really married? Why not? Did someone screw up?"

Before he started recounting his tale, David took a sip of his drink. As he outlined all that Lucy had told him, Rhiannon became more and more angry.

"The fucking bitch! I knew she wasn't all that she pretended to be!"

"How did you know, exactly?" David was intrigued.

"Before I tell you, why not take ourselves up to my apartment? It'll be more comfortable up there," Rhiannon said.

In the apartment, they sat on a comfortable leather sofa. Rhiannon grinned, and said, "Now, we'll start on the good stuff!"

She presented Daid with a glass of whisky from a decanter, saying, "This is some Penderyn Welsh Whisky. One of their special casks, quite a rarity here in the US."

They sat in silence sipping their Penderyn until their glasses were empty. Then David related to Lucy the story of how Helen, Alex and Lucy had used him as a fake husband in order to thwart a potential blackmailer.

After he had finished speaking, Rhiannon had refilled their glasses and said, "There's so much about this that I don't understand, David. Helen was supposed to be your friend, you knew her for some years before she introduced you to Lucy, so how could she do that to you? And if they were worried about blackmail, why didn't they just call in the police or the FBI? This whole thing stinks. What a set of assholes!