All Comments on 'He Loved Lucy'

A fun little tale of schadenfreude! My only observation is you used Lucy's name at the end not Rhiannon's.

Beyond that, cracking. Glad to see karma in action.

Glad the fake wife and her parents got theirs in the end!

5

Very good. I was wondering how much they put into his bank after she left? I hope it was a sizeable amount. 4 stars.

A flow of comedic air wafted over this one.

Although the rumour goes. Never fuck with a witch.

5 stars

Cagivagurl

Cute and original; 5* from me.

10 Big Blazing Stars for a Great Story! LOL, talk about "Karma" LOL, what a perfect story. AND the MC didn't even contribute to the BTB at all, it was all by "Karma". How perfect! Thanks for the Great Effort and good read. Buster2U

Original and well written, good story, Matt.

good story. well written. could have used one more edit before publishing to catch the several times when you wrote Lucy when you meant Rhiannon.

Well done! Many thanks!

Excellent story. I enjoyed your story. 5stars

Just the best, as always. Even the typo was fun! 5 stars and always a fan. Thank you.

Sorry to be of nuisance but "epicaricacy" is also not a native English term (word)... Although distorted, It derives from the Greek language in which it is diachronous...

Not one of your better offerings. The style was very stilted and lacking in emotion, although the core idea was good.

Nice plot twists. You used Lucy’s name a couple of time when it should have been Rhiannon - once in the middle and at the end.

Such fun to read about a bad person having bad things happen to them and a good person having good things happen.

And I learnt a new word.

You, sir are an enigma! How can you possibly know a word like 'epicaricacy' (and why the capital E) yet not understand the difference between subject and object pronouns? In several places you wrote 'between you and I' which should be' between you and me'. I'll presume that 'custardy' was simply a typo.

Great except the penalty on the ignorant wife who had no knowledge of the drug smuggling, its all make believe but that was too much, happy for her to be alone but you went too far into lala land for me.

And here’s me thinking it was going to be a story about Desi Arnaz!

Good Story Matt. 5 stars.

You switch to Lucy at the end of the story.

I don't know about "Epicaricacy" in English, never heard of it and I hope to never hear of it again, but in Greek there is the word "χαιρεκάκεια" which is a perfect translation of "Schadenfreude".

Joking aside, five gleaming stars all the way!

A good story well told as always. Not quite my thing (it was just a little passive) but 5 * nonethelss

Good read, although being taken into custardy is no trifling matter

Congrats, made me look up another word/reference. Word of the day - Epicaricacy.

Stupid story. No one gets jailed unless their complicity to crime is proven. Do you live in a banana republic?

Not bad, sorta a passive read, never got into the characters. Also twice you referred to Rhiannon as “Lucy”, that was off-putting.

Interesting Scrabble ending, otherwise… .

Good story, Matt, with the play on the name, Lucy, and Gordon (Gale), and I looked up the Lucy shows to see if one of the characters or actors was named Price. No luck there but it was an interesting concept that covered the challenge theme well and still had a happy ending. Since the Lucy/Rhiannon name switch was mentioned by others, I’ll just say the Rhiannon seemed like a more interesting character all around, even if she didn’t get that much time, and I think David moved up going from fake to real. 5* and thanks for participating in Randi’s event .

Although a decent storyline, the story needed deep editing. The almost constant mixing of the names Lucy and Rhiannon detracted from the story. If it was just once, it would have passed. But so many? Nope. 3 stars. Get a decent editor and you’ll have more luck.

Bloody good read, it did need some editing with the names mixed around, but i was able to get past it, still a good story.

There is an English word for schadenfreude, it's schadenfreude!

Been in use since the 1840s-1870s. If you want to remove that loan word why aren't you removing pyjama, typhoon, or any one of tens of thousands of loan words that have made it into the dictionary.

And "custardy", Matt. You're normally better than this.

Yeah, no way she's going to jail. If she's telling the truth and knew nothing about how he earned his money, then that means there's also no evidence connecting her to same.

And even if the feds successfully confiscated all of his holdings, he likely had insurance and since he was never *convicted* of a crime nor was actively engaging in one when killed, she'd likely get whatever insurance he had which, as a multibillionaire, was probably sizable.

In that case, she'd still have money and freedom, she just wouldn't have the man she *wanted* to marry nor the man she now *wished* she'd married.

Not even close to the usual standard.

This story was decent, but name slips on both of the last two pages are far from your usual. Lucy might have gotten what she deserved, but unless her husband had the worst lawyers ever on retainer by a billionaire, she would have never seen jail time, much less 15 years.

Haha, custardy is probably fitting considering the circus of an investigation. Characters and plot were a little too broad strokes, could have benefited from more nuance or more farce. David has zero agency, just gets bounced around by the plot. I guess he's meant to be a vehicle for the reader to travel through the story, but could have been more of an interesting ride.

Um, marriage license? Marriage certificate? Willing suspension of disbelief is one thing, but this? No, sorry even by the low bar set by BR58’s events this failed.

Top story, well thought out, well written

I loved it!!!!!!

5/5

Uh yeah, the wife going to prison is dog shit. Evidence and due process? What's that? They need a sacrificial lamb so she goes to prison? Give me a break. Unless the prosecution could demonstrate she not only knew, but assisted, there is no way a judge is going to sign off on a plea bargain based upon threats and hurt feelings.

Ruined the story imho

so he just walked away?

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no repercussions for the parents of the fake priest?

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Also what kind of drug dealer needs to worry about being blackmails for having a side piece his wife approves of?

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Also what kind of wife who likes having a mutual mistress engineers a system by which she cant ever have sex with her lover?

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What kind of mistress worried about blackmail keeping her from her lover tells the man she defrauded all about it?

.

Just how big is the dump truck we can drive thru this massive plot hole?

@Twopull

maybe she voted republican?

we know a s a drug dealer her husband would have supported democrats

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Just thought of another plot hole to go with my last comments questions

why did the UK government allow the US government to extradite a UK citizen for the crimes of another person?

If anybody understood why the fake marriage, please explain. It made no sense to me.

Lucy ,15 years no evidence, not involved in any transections. is this Russia. We normal do not put innocent people away . Seems like a far stretch from reality. What jury would convict her. Not likely . And why even prosecute.

A load of crap. The cucky fit the guy with no balls. Way longer and just as crappy.as it didn’t need to be. You should take up another hobby.

Always a great ending when the good guy wins. Putting Lucy in jail a bridge too far.

3rd line/sentence from the end: Lucy burst out laughing. You meant Rhiannon.

I know this is fiction, but the notion that the American legal system would send the wife of a criminal to federal prison for 15 years without a shred of evidence of wrongdoing on her part is too preposterous for words. The prosecutors wouldn’t render an innocent spouse totally penniless, either, although in theory they could probably seize all of the drug trafficker’s assets if they really wanted to. The retribution on Lucy here is not only totally unrealistic but also outlandish.

Erm… uhm… nevermind.

Thanks for this little escape from life’s pressures! Always a fan!! I’m not a writer but maybe I can put a smile on your face as a thanks for egis little gem.

Do you know the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi

The people in Dubai do not like the Flintstones

The people from Abu Dhabi do!!!!

Had an idea. In your next story maybe state that only comments prepositioned by a joke will not be immediately deleted. It sure would sift out the trolls. 👿 have a great one Matt

The odds of ever being able to place epicaricacy in scrabble is probably about the same as winning the lottery.

This was a pleasure to read. Nice job and a 5 from me.

Thats for a great read from one of the legends. on this site!!

Hmm - a long long way from any reality on the legal side. I found the story to be a bit stupid.

Nice try but sorry not even close to the mark.

Worthy of 5* but we never really learned why Helen hated David. You have to truly hate someone to do what she did. Maybe a small plot thread early on where he broke up with her? 4.4*

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ That is def karma.

Dang, Matt. Please tell me this was a last-minute rush.

Silly, but I liked it. I thought the Gordons were going to become surrogate grandparents.

Pretty far fet hed, but well written.except for some flu bed names, for example Lucy for Rhiannon.. four solid stars.

I am puzzled by Dri/Auusy, etc. usage of bought and brought. In this story, for example, bought is used instead of brought, the past tense of to bring. I have also seen brought used in place of bought, the past tense of to buy. I just find that puzzling to me. Oh, well.

JPB NOT BOB

OK , it is your story so you can give a person with very plausible deniability a mammoth 15-year jail sentence. I did enjoy your other sentence, the last sentence in the story as it reminded me of my mother and great aunt playing cut-throat scrabble well into their 90's.

Can't sget any worse.

Best wicked game imho

Lucy in the sky with diamonds. D

Nice tale. A couple plot weaknesses in my opinion:

.

First, Helen. It really was never explained why she did that to David. Guess her being an”friend” was 100% phony?

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Second, the fake wedding. Even when a wedding is presided over by a “non traditional” officiant, documents must be signed and witnessed in all US States. And filed. No way David is so naive that he didn’t notice not signing official licenses, or having the ceremony witnessed by 2 others and then filed.

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Third, if Lucy truly didn’t have a clue about her husband’s drug dealings, she had way more than enough $$$ to hire the best lawyers to make that case and successfully defend herself. Getting a 15 year sentence IF she truly had no clue (and your story gave zero hint that she did) was a huge non-sequeitor.

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The good? The romance with Rhiannon; him not giving Lucy’s parents the time of day; him not bothering to see or talk to Lucy ever again.

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Finally — the whole scheme really made no sense. Why would Alex want Lucy to fuck David for 3 years? Why would Lucy need to appear married at all?

.

4 ****

You keep calling Rhiannon “Lucy” a glaringly obvious mistake. Enjoyed the story but you need better proofreaders!

Was I the only one who thought David should take the back of Lucy's head and smash it into the countertop, then maime her for life before going to her parents and doing the same to them? Since David had such a week response to such overwhelming evil, I can only assume Helen chose him because of his weak ass wimpiness.

Good story, enjoyed how Karma shows up and saves David. A happy ending all around, for the ones that matter anyways………….

Thanks for writing.

Lost interest ...

lucy Being charged with a crime is laughable. Any decent attorney could get it dismissed pretrial.

C'mon -- how in the world would Lucy end up with a massive prison sentence? Doesn't matter how zealous prosecutors might be, they still need that tricky thing called evidence. That ends up just being the writer screwing over his character and really undermines the believability of this story.

Not all that impressed until the end.

The last line was fantastic.

I always knew that I only read Lit for education and self improvement.

Cute ending good story! 4*

Thanks for weaving an interesting story.

Congrats you jumped the shark....

Nice story, at least most of it.

Not your better efforts though.

The more you think about this the less sense it makes.

How could a billionaire international drug lord be blackmailed for a threesome?

What charges were brought against Lucy that warranted a 15 year sentence considering they'd only been married a few months?

Less would have been more. Nothing would have been best. What a fucking waste of electrons.

\

A billionaire drug dealer, and he has no influence or contacts or informant with the local police. A wealthy sophisticated international operator and all his assets are just sitting in his name to be confiscated, with no stash of cash or legal team or financial arrangements to defend himself and his family. And of course rather than use his extreme wealth to put up a legal challenge to whatever charges he faces, he decides his best option is to engage in a gun battle, with the local police force. So what was his plan after he killed all the police, single handed, of course, with a butter knife?

\

I thought this story was supposed to be part of a writer's contest. Bawiach!

"... it might seem unfair for you to be in custardy..." Yup. Grossly unfair.

Yeah.... right.

I'm probably not the first person that to write this, but I wonder how many readers immediately Googled that word? Not bad writing, but you need to do a better job of keeping your characters' names straight. When David is at Rhe's apartment over the bar and Lucy showed up for a roll in the hay, I was more than a little confused. The story line premise is not one I remember reading before, good job. I'll continue to watch for mattblackUK works!

detroitdave

Karma is beautiful, Karma is fair, Karma sees and knows everything. God has mercy, Karma doesn’t.

Captcha

Wow, this was awful. Names mixed up, lazy plot and painful dialog.

Page 1

Hugs? Fuck that. Spit in her face.

Page 2

A witch. Really? Well fuck. 🤦‍♂️

Sure, Come in the witch. What could possibly go wrong?

Completely plausible. 😁

The end.: Yeah, not over the top at all.

Could have named hubby Ricky Ricardo.

"As I intend to be living with Alex most of the time" -MOST of the time?

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I wouldn't have responded to her hug, I would have pushed her away.

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"I knew she wasn't all that she pretended to be!" - I wondered about her argument with Lucy, wondered why he didn't ask her.

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Can't Alex now work with the blackmailer to reveal the fraud?

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"You told me that Lucy said you could continue living in her house? How fucking generous of her!" -They should at least give him the house. As it stands, they could kick himout at any time.

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"But then she'd have had to come up with a plausible reason for you not selling your apartment without giving the game away."- How about keeping it as a rental?

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"Jill and Son were pros, they bought collapsable boxes with them on such jobs" - I would hope so! I really shouldn't bear mentioning.

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Since Lucy presumably lived with Helen and Alex before Helen became ill, wasn't she familiar with the lifestyle?

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They'd need a lot more than wanting a "sacrificial lamb" for her to get ANY jail time, let alone 15 years.

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@offkilter, I was also wondering about a marriage license. While I assume the "no official photos" was to eliminate physical evidence of the marriage, but there were still unofficial photos.

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@lujon, good point about why would Alex worry about the blackmail?

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"But where's your 'lovely' wife?" - She doesn't know yet about the bull shit, so why is she making air quotes around lovely?

I wonder how many readers had to look up the meaning of Epicaricacy?

The ending was weird, and the prison sentence made no sense. You'd have been FAR better served for the various governments to seize all of the wealth, and for Lucy to end up back at home with her parents with nothing. It would've at least made sense. 3*

"Lucy burst out laughing and said..."

You should change that and resubmit

@dave221039

*raises hand*

Ha, Epicaricacy! Those english speakers have a word for everything.

Good story! 5 stars.

Damn good story Mr. Black, damn good, thanks. 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!

I liked it! Thank you!

-

Be well!

Well but I don't know.

A couple of points. First, in most places in the US, a couple is considered to have a common-law marriage if they've lived together for 2 or more years. So David could have used that fact to screw up the big plan. Secondly, unless there really was some sort of evidence that Lucy knew about and participated in the drug business, any decent lawyer could have likely gotten her off. So 2 big plot holes.

So many holes that swiss cheese comes to mind. How many people witnessed David and Lucy's fake wedding? They all could have been named in a lawsuit. How much money did Alex put in Davids bank account? That money connected him directly to the drug dealer, sending the FBI to Davids door. And on and on.

Custards? Like, she was in a dessert?

Great story, five stars.

I thought it was well-written, but the cosmic justice, described as the book quote "Life's a bitch and her stripper name is Karma" is a bit different from the way I've always heard it: Karma's a bitch... and her stripper name is VENGEANCE !!"

Forgive me, but I like my version better !

LOL...

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

I liked the story.

But it had a few cracks.

Like, how do you not know if you're married or not?

Don't know the rules in UK,

but where I come from

there's official paperwork.

Still, the story was original

and fun to read.

4 out of 5 from me.

I was about to comment about the absurd situations and dialogue in this. Like a cuck ending the reveal conversation with a hug to the slut, just being a bit grumpy. After learning his whole marriage was a sham. Just a bit of grumpiness and worry about not enjoying Christmas! Then witches entered the fray and realized none of this matters. This could have been in the fantasy section and it would fit right in.

Loved this story and the emotion I had reading it.. A 5 star thanks from me.

Loved this. Glad she got what was coming to her after deceiving her husband for 3 years.

It was a very enjoyable reading time! Some twists I did not see coming which made it an even better reading. Overall well written, good characters, dialogue and story. Most of all I was entertained. I will point out that MattblackUK’s writing has definitely improved since first appearing here - well done. Improved writing and unique storytelling - well earned 5 stars!

Please do keep writing and I will keep reading.