All Comments on 'He Never Saw That Coming'

5 stars to writer. Got confused a little till I realized that Tom was being recruited & helped thrill his divorce to his slut wife. Then on top of that fixed him up with their daughter. WOW sounds like they really respected him and wanted him to work for him. Whereas the cheating slut wife wasn't wanted by anyone anymore. I love a happy ending.

Very nice twist on an old theme.

But it was still a good story

We are all 10 IQ points lower than when we started reading this POS.

Good story line, but a little hard to follow with some jumping around, and missing details that would have helped fill out the story. That would have made it more comprehensive - and would have laid the ground work for a chapter 2 sequel??

I liked the originality of the boss's reaction to the cheating whore. His stance for integrity when most of these stories would have him employ Ali as a company whore especially since she had already done that herself was gratifying. The 1 year forward was simply unreadable. There was not a singe cohesive sentence in there. As such, there truly was no end to the story.

An original take on the "honey we need to talk" trope. I particularly liked Tom's brief daydream reaction to the news, as I totally bought this was going to be a REALLY different story. I would have given 5 stars, but as you mentioned, the grammar made a few lines unreadable. I had to read those lines several times to make sense of what I was reading and you confused the character names as well. Find anyone to read over your story, as a short one like this would take no time, and with creative thinking like this you will be getting 5 stars all the time.

Could have been interesting, but frankly, it was pretty darn poorly executed. Felt like what should have taken at minimum 4-5 pages was done in 2 highly compressed ones.

This can only get one star from me; not because I hate it, but because of the HUGE error at the end. Read this sentence carefully: "Robert spoke after Constance finished. "Robert, you have our blessings to marry Constance."

The way you have it written now, Robert who is Mr. Bradshaw and NOT the main character, is talking to *himself* and giving *himself* permission to marry Constance, who is his daughter. The second Robert should have been TOM, the guy the story is supposedly about.

The story was going great until the introduction of Amy and Robert giving himself permission to marry his own daughter. Automatically deduct 2 stars for not proofreading before publishing.

Is there a story about Robert and Rebecca out there ore coming up? If so a reference at the start would have been very helpful. The base of this story is really good, but it is missing a lot of details for the ending to have any meaning.

Very nice twist, good story until the end, I agree with what others posted, bad ending diminished a good story. You were rocking a nice story until then. Would have given it a 4, but ending makes it a 3. I hardly ever give 5's, there are a ton of historically amazing stories to live up to to earn a 5

Good story. But seemed VERY unfinishef ( like no real ending)

Very confused about the premise. What was Roberts intention of playing this out with Tom and Amy/Ali? After Tom went ballistic (rightfully so) Robert stated that Tom was the kind of man to have in his new organization. What if Tom had a different reaction? What if he was passive or just walked out? Would Robert still have given him the job? Or would his wife had gotten the job? Tom was the guy that performed all of the improvements. They alreay knew Ali stole his work and cost them business by sleeping with her clients. Why even go through the ruse of spending he weekend with Amy? What if Tom really had shot him dead? Why would keeping or firing a sales person have anything to do with the competense of an engineer? Ali worked for the purchasing company already in Sales. They would have known it was not her job to improve manufacturing processes. Why not just keep Tom after the buyout knowing he was the catalyst for the change and deal with Amy separately?

Liked the premise but the execution made no sense.

Proofread and correct the character confusions.

I have to agree with some of the other comments, the ending of this story was horrible. did you even read if after you wrote it? the story feel apart earlier with the whole contrived deception thing about the weekend, but that was mild compared to the mess you made of the “one year later” this went from a possible 4 stars at the beginning to 2 stars 3/4 way through, and ended with 1 .

The messed up ending where Robert’s name is mistakenly used instead of Tom was horrible mistake. The entire story was a typical misdirection for a surprise ending. The wife was over the top unbelievably bad and everyone else a saint. Don’t write when your drunk.

Awesome.

You had a great story going but dropped the ball on the ending. There needs to be more story.

get your characters straight

Nice tale.

Ed

Decent idea, poorly executed. 2*.

Twist.

Forgot to put the incest in the tag.

Different.

I think you mixed the names at end.

Nice story.

Ali got hers, the whore, but opportunity arose and I have to give her information on a couple UNFUCK MACHINES, because she'd easily wear just one, out. Everyone, read Omegaman's stories, he's that good!!

'..two vanilla folders.' That's funny!

Need more info on Constance's family! Especially the event between Robert and Rebecca?

The end made mo sense. Did the names get lixed up?

Was the ending supposed to mean somthing? As it made no sense.

Ali was a C U Next Tuesday. She thought she had Tom by the balls but she only had fake ones. Constance had the real ones pumping batter in her oven

Strange,Very strange. LP

It’s hard to imagine anything much stupider than this story.

I really like the "honey we have to talk" genre. This one was a surprising twist, so points for originality on the theme. I also like that it went to the action on the first page, making it an easy read. However, it also pretty much ended on the first page, with an all-to-simple resolution. For me it didn't really evoke any emotion or tragedy or pain.

LOVE IT! A great twist. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW

Haha

Loved the twist - it was original. Ali is lucky. That's a hell of a severance package.

Good story with a twist. Looks like Tom will be fine for the trauma. Thanks for your writing.

quote which sat at Georgia's northeast corner during the summertime. unquote

Where did it sit the rest of the year

Ali found out she wasn't the genius she thought she was. Good, Constance will give him babies and take care of her family, like a wife/mother should. Wonderful story, 10 stars!

Yep, that's the best twist in the 'we have to talk' style stories I have ever read.

It's so good to find a man with money AND morals, even if he's a fictional character.

Second read. Just as good.

Liked the story that, in the end, surprised me. How the tables turned when it's Tom getting the job & not Ali. How Ali's world changed from dictating to her husband how things'll be to praying to keep her marriage. She showed what a whore she is, doing anything for that dollar. However, one note: proof read your writing. In a couple places but especially at the end, "Robert spoke ... "Robert, you have our blessings..."" when it should be "Tom, you have...". Just saying. Otherwise, the writing's good, story well written & surprising. 4 stars Bob

I can’t believe it! You perfectly captured the real dynamics of a failing relationship! All of my friends have this scenario happen to them, too. So far, seven of the wives in our group have announced out of the blue that they were going off with other men to have weekends of pleasure with giant dicks. They all said it wouldn’t matter and it was just sex.

We’ve had to buy our own graveyard to save money.

/s

Seriously, you’re such an idiot. And so are the chuckleheads who love this shit.

You do know that omega is the last letter of the Greek alphabet, right? As in, the bottom of the heap? Tail end Charlie? Last across the finish line?

Ruttweiler.... you are the idiot and not just an idiot but a faggot cuckold to, your taste in stories is disgusting the only thing worse is your understanding of pretty much everything, you are an uneducated punk who thinks he's smart, but it is beyond obvious you are just another ignorant goof who's opinions are just as empty of factual knowledge as your head! Oh and Omega is the last letter but it DOES NOT represent last place it represents (the Ultimate Limit) where alpha is first omega is everything! ie: God is the alpha and the omega

@Ruttweiler. You mentioned Omega as the last....You forgot one... the last man standing. the survivor.

"You're offering me a job to fuck my wife to ease your conscious?” The word is “conscience.” A frequent mistake of various authors.

It’s hard to imagine that anything could top this story. Keep on doing great with the tales you write about.

WOW! Great Turn about, on "Honey, we have to talk!" Totally unexpected Ending! I loved it! I really loved Hubby (Tom) imagination of getting his Glock and shooting them both. That would have been my "Go To" also, keep my Glock by my side 24/7 lol. Regardless, What a turn about! The whore wife was due to be fired for fucking customers. LOL Of Course, that was behind her husband's back. So Tom would was a divorce for that. Then he would want it also for her telling him she was going to spend the weekend with her Boss! LOL Poor stupid woman thought she was going to cuckold her hubby, but all she did was turn red in the face when her boss started handing out pictures! What a Great Great Story.5 big blazing stars to the writer. Great story, and even better ending. Going to read all your stuff now! Buster2U

Oh, brother...

A good story worth four stars. Try to keep Robert and Tom's names straight.

JPB

A very different kind of powerful boss and cheating wife story. Great twist.

Overall a good story with a great and unique twist, but the very ending was abrupt and a bit disjointed.

Great twist - very well done!

In a word? Crap.

Ha... it all comes undone when someone who can do anything, good or bad, turns out to be honourable.

A nice change to see that someone with success chose not to be an evil predator.

If there were more people like that the world would be a better place.

@nixrox,

1 star for a sub-standard BTB with no new twists..... -

Did YOU READ the story? I mean the same one everyone else read!

Unique

Nothing interesting here

No explanation of the rift!?

Very nice, the bitch gets burned but not,in a really bad way. Maybe she learns for her next boyfreind/husband.

It stretched credibility beyond understanding

Sure it would appear to be implausible ofnread stand alone. But you need to read Robert and Rebecca's 5 part story arc. Robert and Rebecca are awesome! 5 stars just because we see them 15 years later. If you want to learn a out the challenge to their marriage, read their story "A Perfect Marriage" by same author.

Sorry meant "The Perfect Wife" by the same author.

A rubbish story.

I loved this story the 'boss' turns out to be a great guy and the bitch wife gets what she deserves!

5 BIG ONES!

Loved this one!! 5 stars.

Good to see the boss was a good guy and had a good family