by nowiamhere
Nice story' but did you even bother to proof read it? So many easily fixed errors that took away from the story.
This story was pretty good, but I found that the main thing that could be improved was copyediting - the mistakes were misued words (e.g., "wondering" instead of "wandering") and not something that a spellchecker would catch, so just having another pair of eyes go over it would be best. These mistakes were distracting from the story.