All Comments on 'Heat of the Night Pt. 01'

I love it. Looking forward to part 2.

...for a start, the spelling is much simpler. I don't know if I should be ashamed to admit this but I didn't know the Pat Benatar song and so I googled it before reading the story. I was impressed. And of course I was impressed, as always, with the start of this new story. Everything rang true to life, especially the old-fashioned Irish Catholic notion that if anyone is different, have the Little Sisters of the Riding Crop or the Holy Brothers of the Knuckleduster beat it out of them. Looking forward to the next chapter, Shaima.

Enjoying this so far. Looking forward to chapter 2...3...4...?

and third person viewpoint. I like your personal first person vignettes, but your writing ramps up when you write as here. Please take your time, I like these women.

I expect nothing less from....Ok now that I’m hooked how long before chapter 2 comes out

And I really look forward to the next part. Thank you for sharing this with us!

You great at writing characters and setting and so i think maybe you should move past writing erotic stuff and dig in for a proper story with a plot not centralised on erotic stuff.

And yes the 80's have been the most exciting years ..... With all shades in every direction ..... But yes i will use "frankie goes to hollywood" WAR WHAT IS HE GOOD FOR ..... But still after decades or after thousands of years we still do the same ..... This must be intelligence

So, we're back to streams of unclear she/her.

"She bumped her hip against her."

How many times are we supposed to read that in order to *guess* what you meant? Make yourself clear. After you write it, set it aside for a week and forget what you were thinking when you wrote it. Try to read it again as if you've never seen it.