by TornConflict
I won't be reading Ch. 2 as I know sequels are never as good as the original....hate condoms.....since when does a fantasy have a condom in it......hmmmmmm.
It is hard to believe that was your first story, Very well done.
Great story. 5*, favorite story and author. Keep it going. You are a great storyteller. An editor would help. Typos are distracting but don't pull down excellent stories.
I'd like to see more of this story. You made me like the two main characters, their wit and chemistry seem to work well together.
I hate harping on editing, but... this piece needs work. I still gave the story 5 *s.
Thank you for the feedback. I was much happier with my second story too. I plan on improving this story a bit in the next chapter.
Torn, Nice job first time out of the gate! Actually, read your current story then went to your first. Enjoyed both but must say, the second was a better written piece. Thank you for your efforts and for the 'escape'. jntiques
Nice to see someone comment. I also received several pieces of feedback too. Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read. Working on chapter 2 already. Hopefully post in the next few days or so.