Heatstroked

"Speaking of being just you, are you and Dad getting a divorce?"

"It's looking like," Mom said grimly. "I don't want to go into too much detail, but I will say on top of what he did to you, I found out we've all been living off my income for the last twenty years while your father has been squirreling away his paycheck in various accounts and investments that are in his name only."

Jan seemed outraged, but I didn't really understand why. I wasn't even particularly surprised. It just fit him that he would do that.

There were a few other awkward moments, but we, strangely, had a nice visit in all.

"You could live here, you know," Mom said in another of those awkward moments. "Your father isn't here and won't be."

"Thanks, Mom. But, I pretty much work from sun up to sun down and then work out for a couple of hours in the pool after dark. I only really get to rest from about midnight until about six or so when Willard and I get up and get to work."

"My word! And what are they paying you for all this work?"

"Room and board plus twenty-five percent of the proceeds from the pool. And I'm getting an education in golf course and swimming pool management."

Jan arched an eyebrow at me. I gritted my teeth and mentally prepared for her to screw me over by telling Mom there were no proceeds from the pool and my "room" was the pool.

"And then there's his California dream girl," Jan said.

"Oh, yes," Mom smiled. "And how is the young woman who stole my son away?"

God! I really hated my sister sometimes.

Sleeping in my room, in my bed, was strange. Oddly, I had trouble getting to sleep. I missed the moon and stars overhead. I missed the West Texas wind moaning in my ear as it ruffled my hair. I missed having the pool right there so I could swim.

Mostly, I missed having Becki's darkened window in my line of sight.

--05Jun87--

"Hey, lover boy! Are you going to get up or what?!"

I tried to jump up and fell off my bed at Jan's yell in my ear. The floor was a whole lot harder than diving in the pool when Willard woke me. Jan slid down with her back against the wall cackling.

My sister could be such a bitch sometimes.

"Ow," I groaned. "What time is it?"

"Daytime," Jan giggled. "Mom just left for work and I was about to hit the road. I thought I should wake you up so you can get moving to your important job too."

"What?! What time?!" I glanced at the clock to see it was almost ten. "Fuck! I've got to go!"

"That's what I said, doofus."

Jan watched as I scrambled around pulling on clothes. I couldn't believe I'd overslept. I couldn't believe they had let me!

"Hey," Jan said. "Here."

"What's this?" I asked taking a card from her.

"My card," Jan said. "So you can reach me. I guess I can reach you through the country club."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

It felt really strange getting a phone number and address so I could get in touch with my sister. Of course, all the getting in touch we had done before had typically been touching the top of each other's heads with our knuckles when Mom and Dad weren't around. I think that's the moment it really hit me that it was all real. We were grown. I was grown. I was an adult. I wasn't just playing at being a grown up.

Jan startled me with another hug.

"I love you, little brother," Jan said into my chest.

"I love you, too, Sis. Even if you are a pain in my ass most of the time."

"You tell Becki I'll claw her eyes out with my perfect nails if she breaks your heart. Otherwise, I get to do her hair and nails for the wedding."

"Yeah, ok." I blushed and rolled my eyes. "I'll tell her."

I saw Becki's curtain twitch as I roared up and killed my engine. I swung my leg over and hurried around to the pro shop. Willard was standing at the counter. Eunice was sitting in her usual spot with her magazine.

"Well, hello dear. Did you have a nice visit with your family?"

"I guess," I said. "Mom and Dad are getting a divorce. Dad is living in Plainview. My sister, Jan, is living in Odessa and she wants to do Becki's nails and hair for the wedding. So, what did I miss around here?"

Willard choked on his chaw of tobacco.

"Wedding?" Eunice raised her brow with a smile. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

"Yes," I said, rolling my eyes. "My sister is a moron. She said that after I told her Becki had hardly spoken to me this summer. So, what have I missed around here?"

"Not a damn thing," Willard said. "I managed to get some work done without you following me around like a puppy yapping at me all morning."

"Becki came out and ate with us last night," Eunice said, her eyes twinkling. "She also sat out on the porch with us and stayed for a bit after we went in. I don't think she saw the sunset though."

"Tarnation, woman! Don't tell him all that! We'll never be shut of him!"

Eunice slapped Willard on his thigh with her magazine. I felt like I'd been drinking. Did Eunice really just say that Becki seemed to miss me?

"I, uh, I guess I should get the pool ready," I said. "You never know. This might be the day we have customers. And I don't want to not be ready if they try to come."

"Right," Eunice said, still smiling. "You do that very thing, John."

Of course, no customers came that day either. Conscious of what I'd felt like after working out during the day, I kept my swimming light when I dove into the pool. I spent quite a bit of my time sitting on the raised platform pretending to read while I tried not to look over at the house.

After I walked the course with Willard that evening, Becki didn't join us for supper. Nor did she come out onto the porch with Willard and Eunice to watch the sunset.

Well, damn.

I worked out with my practice dummy in and out of the pool until I was tired enough to sleep.

Willard woke me in the morning and it was back to business, or rather no business, as usual.

For four days, I woke up with Willard and fell asleep after wearing myself out with that damn doll. For four days, I caught no more sign of Becki than an occasional twitched curtain or the muted sound of a screen door closing.

Then I stuck my foot in my mouth.

--09Jun87--

It was the hottest part of the day. I was standing at the counter scarfing down my noon meal dripping water on the Astroturf strip.

"So, what is Becki going to do?" I asked.

"Beg pardon?" Eunice asked.

"What is Becki going to do?" I repeated. "Is she going to go to college in the fall? Is she going to get a job doing something? She said something once about wanting to be a marine biologist."

"Well, I don't know. We haven't really discussed it much. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I've just been doing some thinking since my visit with my mother and sister about what I'm going to do. As much as I love working here, I can't expect you guys to feed me and let me live here through the winter without contributing. Even if you could afford it, I wouldn't feel right about it. Becki and I aren't little kids anymore. I guess it's time we started thinking about what we're going to do. What we can do."

Willard and Eunice both frowned at me for a long moment and then turned their frowns on each other. I didn't know what I'd said wrong, but I almost never did. I could tell something about what I'd said bothered them, though. So, I kept my mouth shut after that except to take another bite.

"Would you mind terrible running into town for your supper tonight?" Willard asked as we were walking the course that evening. "I could get you some cash from the cash box to eat at Dairy Queen."

"Uh. No, I don't mind," I said slowly. "And don't worry about the money. I've got some. Am I in trouble or something?"

"What? No. Not that I know of. Eunice and I just want to have a conversation with our granddaughter. An overdue conversation. And that's kind of hard with her hiding from you."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Reckon you've done us all a favor. We just need the one more favor of you giving us a slice of time this evening, say 'til sundown."

As we walked back to the house I could hear Becki yelling from inside.

"Ayup. She started without me," Willard muttered with a wince. "If I had any sense, I'd go into town with you to eat."

"Sure, if you want."

"No. No, I've been told off I got to be there. Don't know what for. I never was much use when Eunice and Becki's mama got into it. You go ahead on and make a run for it while you can. If I was you, I wouldn't come back out 'til after sunset for sure." Willard winced at a loud crash from inside. "Maybe midnight."

I did eat at Dairy Queen in town. And I didn't come back until after the sun was down. There was still a lot of yelling coming from inside the house. It was a little easier to ignore in the pool working out with Gary with water over my ears. By the time I got out, the house was dark and quiet.

--10Jun87--

More yelling woke me in the morning.

"I don't care!" Willard roared. "You heard your grandmother. You're coming with me, if I have to drag you around the course by your pony tail. You've got two minutes to get dressed and put your face on before I drag you out in front of your beau just like you are!"

"He is not my beau, Grumps!"

"Well, whatever he is, he's going to get an eyeful if you don't shake your tail feathers!" I heard a door slam and then Willard shoved through the screen door. "Well, boy?! Are you going to lay there looking at me too? Or are you going to grab your socks instead of your-"

I was underwater and swimming for the edge before he could finish. I didn't have a clue what was going on, or why Willard was so annoyed with me. All I knew was it was time to start my day.

"Here. Your breakfast," Willard growled as I scurried up on the porch with him. "You wait here. We're going to have company this morning."

"Uh," I said brilliantly as Willard stalked back through the screen door.

"Do you think I'm here for your entertainment?!" Willard bellowed from inside. "You have to the count of three before I dump you out of that rack. Hu-one! Hu-two!"

"Damn it, Grumps! I can't walk all over this course! I have one leg!"

"I count two if you put the one by the wall on! Move it, maggot! Move! Move! Move!"

Eunice came out on the porch. She was wearing her housecoat. She looked tired. And sad.

"What's gotten into Willard?" I asked.

"I asked him to dust off his drill sergeant hat," Eunice said. "Becki needs it. We've coddled her too much. But, I just couldn't do it."

"There you are!" Becki spat as she stumped out onto the porch. "Are you happy, now?"

"Uh, good morning, Becki. You look, uh..."

Frankly, she looked like Jan on one of her bad mornings. Her hair was all over the place and she had bags under her eyes. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts. I don't know if it was her breath or what, but she could have knocked a buzzard off a manure wagon.

"I look what, John?" Becki snarled. "Like a girl that should have died two years ago? Like a poor handicapped freak show? Go ahead, John. Tell me how I look!"

"Uh, like you're ready to get to work," I said. "Are we ready, Willard?"

"I'm past ready," Willard muttered. "You two sleeping beauties are the ones wasting daylight. Let's go already."

Willard didn't actually plan on making Becki walk the course. He walked us down to the carts and had us get in one. For the first time I was aware of, he drove the course instead of walking it.

That was probably the most uncomfortable morning of my life. Becki didn't say another word to me directly and her replies to Willard were shrewish. To my relief, Willard didn't make Becki actually do anything, but let her sit in the cart and watch us work.

Becki's missing leg and hand didn't bother me. Her amputated personality did. Whoever was riding around in that golf cart with us that morning was not the girl who had been my first real friend and the girl I'd fallen in love with.

When Willard looked up at me and sent me back to "base" about nine or a little after, I was all too happy to flee.

"Eunice, what is going on?" I asked as I entered the pro shop.

"Hmm? Nothing much." Eunice peered at me over the rims of her glasses. "Same as every day. No customers yet."

"I mean with Becki."

"Oh, that." Eunice gave me a sad, sweet smile. "Well, you got me and the buzzard to thinking. You were right. You and Becki are both adults, not children. But, you're also much too young to have to count on us. What if something happened to us? Then, who would take care of Becki if she doesn't figure out she can take care of herself? So, we decided it was time to shake her up a little bit. Get her to thinking about what she can do instead of what she can't."

"Oh," I said. "I guess that makes sense. I think she's mad at me again, though."

"That's what makes Willard better at this part than us," Eunice said gently. "You and me, we care about what Becki thinks of us."

"Willard doesn't?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. He loves that little girl. But, he loves her more than he wants her to like him back."

"That doesn't make sense, Eunice," I said.

"Oh, it makes perfect sense. I just can't do it. Not to Becki. Not yet. He loves her so he wants to make sure she can manage without him. So, he's going to push her, even if it makes her mad. In his mind, if he didn't push her, he doesn't love her."

"Okay," I said doubtfully. "I guess I should see about putting my lifeguard cap on."

When Willard and Becki came back, they were walking. The cart they were using had run out of juice. I happened to be standing at the counter and caught a glare from Becki as she waited for Willard to get another set of keys so they could go back out and tow it in.

Becki sat on a stool next to Eunice fuming the whole day while Willard stood at the counter. Every time I stepped up to the counter, Becki glared at me until I went away again.

When we closed down for the evening, I wasn't sure I wanted to, but I rode with Becki and Willard as we turned the water on the greens and looked around to see what we needed to fix the next day.

Becki sat with us at the dinner table that night. I was too intimidated by her constant glare to speak to her. Becki was too furious to speak to anyone. Eunice looked back and forth between us and started to open her mouth several times, but changed her mind and closed it. Willard was probably the only one happy since I suspect if he had his way nobody would ever speak to him or ask him to speak.

For the first time, I didn't help Eunice do the dishes since she co-opted Becki in my place. Willard snorted as I fled.

At least Becki didn't join Willard and Eunice on the porch to watch the sunset. I think my nerve might have completely broken if she'd been sitting there glaring at me and I would have gathered my things and climbed on my bike to ride off into the sunset.

How the hell had everything gone so incredibly wrong?!

For five days, I lived in hell. Every morning, I would wake up to Willard getting Becki up and moving. Every evening, I would flee after taking my supper dishes to Eunice and Becki at the kitchen sink.

Becki didn't speak a single word to me during those days. Her only communication with me was a glare she didn't use sparingly. My own mood soured tremendously. This was the woman I had thought I loved?

Finally, I broke.

--15Jun87--

"I'm sorry, Eunice," I said as I stood behind my chair at supper. "I can't do this tonight. It looks delicious as always, but... I'm sorry."

"Oh, all right," Eunice said.

Willard just snorted as I turned and walked back out the screen door.

I rode into town and ate with my mother. She was happy to see me. I think she was lonely in that house by herself. The divorce had gotten acrimonious. Mom just wanted out. Dad was fighting for half of the house and their joint accounts and suing for alimony on top of it.

Mom asked me not to see Dad until after the divorce was final which struck me as just ridiculous. I had no intention of wasting money by spending my gas riding up to Plainview and looking for him so he could black my eyes for me or bust my lip again.

I didn't spend the night again. Mom did ask, but I didn't really want to spend another night there and I didn't trust her to get me up so I could make it back before dawn.

The sun was down, and Willard and Eunice were inside when I pulled up. Becki, however, was sitting on the porch, glaring at me.

"Have a good date with your girlfriend?"

"What girlfriend?!" I snapped, driven beyond endurance. "I ate supper with my mother who is divorcing my father. I thought I had a girlfriend once, but I guess a shark ate her personality."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Becki yelled.

"David lost more of his leg than you did and his eye, but he didn't let it turn him into a dick!"

"What?" Becki frowned. "You never said David lost a leg and an eye."

"Because it didn't matter! It wasn't who he was. He didn't let it slow him down and he didn't act like he had PMS all the damn time. Well, okay. He did give me his motorcycle since he claimed he couldn't ride it anymore, but I will bet every penny in my pocket against everything in your pockets he damn well could have if he'd still cared to try and he just wanted to give me the bike to be nice.

"You, on the other hand. You haven't even given me a smile, much less a hug. God, Becki! I have loved you for so long and missed you so much, but now I honestly don't remember why!"

"Because I'm handicapped! Because I'm fat and ugly!"

"You're not fat! You're not ugly other than your personality! And the only handicap that bothers me is your personality has been amputated! You've done nothing but kick me and your grandparents in the balls since you showed up this summer, no matter how nice we've been to you! Well, guess what, Becki? I'm done trying to be your friend until you act like you want to be mine. When you want a friend, you come find me and we'll start over. Until then, I've got a workout I need to do."

I turned and stalked away before Becki could make yet another grand exit through the screen door. And, before I could take back what I'd said or soften it in any way.

I glanced back as I opened the pro shop door and saw Becki still standing on the porch, leaning on her cane, looking my direction. I took a certain vindictive pleasure in slamming the metal door.

For some reason, Becki sat there on the front porch all through my workout. I didn't realize she was still there until I was done and clambered up on the raised platform after slinging my sleeping bag up there.

I frowned at her, but since she didn't say anything, I didn't either. I fell asleep watching her sitting there watching me.

--16Jun87--

"What the Sam Hill are you doing out here, girl?!"

I blinked awake to see Willard standing in the screen door and Becki still sitting in the same spot.

"Sorry, Grumps. I couldn't sleep. I've... I've been kind of a shit to you and Grammy since I got here."

"What makes you say that, Grumpkin?" Willard asked softly.

"A friend pointed it out," Becki burst into tears. "I'm sorry, Grumps. I'm so sorry! I don't... I don't even know who I am anymore!"

"Why don't you and John go ahead on," Eunice said coming out the screen door in her house coat. "I think I'd like to spend a little time with my granddaughter today."

"Oh, Grammy!" Becki wailed as Eunice sat down beside her and gathered her in a hug.

"Well, boy?" Willard said uncomfortably.

"Yes, sir. I'm coming."

Willard met me at the pro shop door. As we walked away, I glanced back to see Becki still rocking in her grandmother's arms.

"What in tarnation did you say to her, boy?"

"I, uh, I might have accused the shark ate her personality," I said, blushing. "And I might have said something about it being her time of the month the last two weeks. Sorry, Willard. It won't happen again."