Helen's Story

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TheDok
TheDok
279 Followers

An autopsy revealed that he had died of natural causes, and in due course, he was returned home to Canada.

In the late summer, early one evening, four people came to the base of the tree where the body had been found. Two of them, a man and a woman were in their sixties, whilst the third and fourth were a much younger couple. They had with them an urn containing ashes which they emptied at their feet. Then they stood and said a prayer before turning and walking away.

***

A week later, Park Ranger Jim Wallace, was talking to a colleague.

"It's the damnest thing. Last winter I was up at the Rockefeller Forest Loop Trail. It was a freezing cold day and there was nobody about. Then I saw a young woman walking amongst the trees. She was beautiful with freckles, big brown eyes, and black hair but no way was she dressed for the weather. She wore jeans and a white blouse... No coat or anything. There was no car in the lot, and I couldn't figure out where she'd come from. I tried to talk to her, but she ignored me completely and walked off. I went after her, but she was nowhere to be seen. I Searched for maybe forty minutes but there was no hide or hair of her, and I figured she must be camping somewhere. I hoped she wouldn't turn up dead, but she never did.

Then last week, I saw her again, in the same place I saw her last. This time she was with a young fella. She was wearing the same jeans and blouse. He was wearing a blue Seahawks jersey with a number ten on it. They only had eyes for each other. I tried to talk to them, but they turned their backs on me and walked off. He had "Zorn" on the back of his jersey. Funny thing there was no car in the car park."

"Rockefeller Loop Trail. Wasn't that where that dead guy was found in the spring," said his companion.

"Yes, it was, and if folk insist on walking in the forest improperly dressed and ill-prepared there are going to be more of them."

***

TheDok
TheDok
279 Followers
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16 Comments
jlg07jlg075 months ago

What a beautiful pure love story. Thank you for writing this! 5*

LudvigBlomSELudvigBlomSE5 months ago

Whith eyes running after reading your story I was seeing the comments by Overcritical and wondered if we had read the same story. To me there was no jerkiness at all! Every thing flowed in a natural flow most of it a happy flow until it became very sad causing the tears;-)

Keep up your good work, thanks you! 5*

TheDokTheDok5 months agoAuthor

@ overcritical Your moniker is certainly well chosen since you frequently criticise stories popular with a large number of other readers. I am intrigued to know whether you are like a food critic who doesn’t cook or whether you contribute to this site under another name shielding yourself from tot for tat feedback. You are of course entitled to your opinion but would ask you to consider the effect the kind of feedback you sometimes leave can have on an aspiring author who might be persuaded to stop writing. My shoulders are broad and negative criticism of the sort you sometimes offer is water of a ducks back although I suppose I should be grateful you didn’t give me a 1 score

OvercriticalOvercritical5 months ago

Some people like a touch of the supernatural in their Literotica, but I'm not one of them. It makes for a silly, unrealistic story and the quality of this tale was marginal to begin with and this didn't help. I'm not clear if the author was trying to be efficient with words and get to the heart of the story quickly, but it made for herky-jerk reading. Everything happened so quickly and then the monstrous blow of the car accident and Helen's death. I know there is a huge number of traffic fatalities every year in the US, but authors on this site really like the car accident idea to clear the decks for[ further action. It is efficient, but it is a little trite. I have no idea why so many commenters waxed eloquent over this inadequate attempt, but I'm not convinced. 2*

DreamsOfHopeDreamsOfHope5 months ago

This story is why I come here. Beautiful. Thank you.

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