All Comments on 'Hello Father Ch. 02'

I think the father probably should have confronted his wife rather than playing the runner.

I agree that confrontation would have been best, but can anyone really blame him for running? Maybe the wife should have been more caring. After all she is the one solely to blame for the mess. The author has broched a topic that is (sadly), all too real, and has done it to perfection.

Thanks, but with her dying there is no closure....for any of them.

Wow, this is strong and well written. I appreciate you continuing with the story after the remarkable first chapter.

I actually feel bad for the mother, but that is due to empathy, not understanding. I hope everyone else survives and recovers.

Thank you

This chapter presents a different view of Sandy, enough so that I have become willing to read her story, her "reasons".

From the way she was described in the first chapter always disparaging his work and calling them "her" sons and never their sons it appeared that she had little to no respect or love for him, so to have her appear heartbroken at his leaving was not expected.

However, now that it is clear I think the story is being done well - killing off Mom by H-Fist is almost exactly like Dad abandoning his (entire) family ... a cowardly cop-out!

Agree it is (to date) remarkably non-erotic ... Hubby is happy with Sweetie (until he's NOT), Eldest Son is happy with his GF (until he's NOT!) Sweetie is getting impregnated by a series of guys, but there are NO details or rationale (yet!) She did NOT know of Hubby's sterility, and we will only know if Sweetie's impending chapter lets us hear about those details and rationales. A chapter of pre-demise history of Sweetie (knowing she will not survive know about her Hubby's and Michael's progress) sounds like morbid reading - no matter how hot and frequent and varied her insemination experiences might have been!

better than most.please keep writing your stories your way.

My dad pulled the same bullshit and walked out of my moms life leaving me to be a father figure to two boys and a girl. My only regret is that he died before I could best the holy fuck out of him for being a cowardly pussy and waste of skin.

I hate how "dad" gets to be the fucking hero after abandoning the boys who called him dad. He deserves to have his ass handed to him on a plate, not feted as though he was a visiting dignitary.

Really do think that we should hear the story from wife's point of view!

Someone below here has serious anger issues.

Great points of view.

Far too often it's the long term affects that are devastating in a scenario like this.

Great story.

Thx

Good writing and story. "Father" could have hung around and become an embittered and hateful man because of a cheating slut wife. He could also have waited for the boys and told them they were not his sons, but the sons of four other men. The bitch got what she brought upon herself. Cheers!

Let's see how Sandy explains herself. A well written and absorbing story. Looking forward to the next chapter.

One excellent story, this part 2...I understand why the mother had to die...too much guilt, but it was a pity...Let's see part 3, but knowing that she had died, take a lot of interest in part 3...

do not let the mother die

and over and out

now that she has solved the riddle to this family tragedy, and is gone, I am willing to forgive her and listen to what she had to say... willing to listen to her babbling as to what would cause a seemingly decent, good, beautiful, and loving person and woman and mother to behave in such a heinous way toward the very person with whom she literally could not live without and yet also the very one she had done every conceivable thing to destroy, while at the prime of her life, when she and he were TRYING to have kids.

I am almost sure she would tell us ---- THE AUTHOR would her tell us ---- that she went to the clinic (behind her husband's back in some way), after some time of trying to have children and couldn't, and found out his was able to have children. So, she would likely tell us, the readers, that she decided, without his knowledge ---- and, remember, he himself DID NOT KNOW THAT HE COULDN'T HAVE CHILDREN EITHER ---- that she'd fuck around discretely, to have different children by different fathers, to lessen the chance of being caught.

That's fine, although still heinous.

But here's what I am waiting to hear FROM THE AUTHOR, as to HOW he would solve this problem that HE, THE AUTHOR, set for himself:

He had our hero relay to us that HIS WIFE TOLD HIM of the various BOYS NAMES SHE WANTED, not any of those he had suggested.

Now that the AUTHOR would relay the late wife's tory to us ---- what she had written down, presumably, as she wasted away those 5-6 years, after our hero left ---- I wonder how he'd tackle that little "NAME PROBLEM" issue, as I put it.

Because WE ALL KNOW, even a cheater, if she truly "loved" her husband and was "only doing this for our happiness" (to use that kind of a Twilight Zone rationale), she WOULD STILL acquiesce to her husband, to, in a way, make sure he's not suspecting, to make sure he's happy with names he wanted "for his boys," etc.

She shot down each and every name HE SUGGESTED; so again I am curious to see how THE AUTHOR would have HER/THE WIFE explain away that.

To me that's a very DERIVATIVE and very minor issue; and yet in some ways, it's even more important than any other "elephant in the room" issues...

Again, I would not have been interested in what she has to say, HAD SHE NOT DIED from this tragedy, seemingly via a self-inflicted wound, either physically or mentally. I am sure the AUTHOR, too, would tell us how she died. But regardless how she died, I am certain this was THE ONLY WAY the family would again put together, albeit with someone missing from it forever. The boys and even our hero would grief for her, especially the boys. But now they are bigger and are back again with their dad, so as time passes, I am sure they would let the grief and guilt go and move on to live out their lives in forever sun shine San Diego...

++++++++++++ Totally irrelevant & totally tangential notes +++++++++++++++

I am a little disappointed that Randy, that good kid who never brought home any thing less than an A was not encouraged to apply to the University of California, San Diego; instead, he was pushed towards San Diego State which is a fine public university; but it is not as "pampered" as UC San Diego, which also has the Torrey Pines golf course, La Jolla & Blacks beaches (the latter, with naked babes everywhere), and the hand-glider port, where you could jump off a 500 or so foot cliff, soaring into the air with seagulls, overlooking the majestic Pacific Ocean...

On the other hand, for OUT-OF-STATE students, like it would be for these boys, attending UC San Diego ---- even though it is, like San Diego State, a public university, too ----- WILL COST almost as much as attending Harvard, Stanford, Yale, etc. And since they were STILL NOT SURE how much their father would help them out, San Diego State, after all, was ultimately more affordable, again, especially for out-of-state students....

That's one of the peculiarity about publicly funded state universities: if you a state resident, you get quite a bit of benefit.

And because the University of California is the best public university system, and the largest in the world, if you're from out-of-state and you want to go to one of the top 3 campuses (Berkeley, UCLA, UC San Diego), you might as well apply to the Ivy League universities, too, because the COSTS would be about the same: and if you're from a very poor family who is very studious, your chances of being accepted by Harvard or Yale with a full scholarship is light years better than getting that kind of treatments by the University of California...

But the behavior of the mother in this story in no way jibes with the actions of the woman described in chapter 1. You have a tough row to hoe if you're going to square that circle.

Four different fathers = four different sperm donors. Let's hear Mom's story. Dad is going to be so mad at himself.

or a video recording,.

But the elephant is still sitting there..

As for being new to writing I have my doubts. You've gone far and above the norm in this story. Please. Keep it up. Thank you.

did not grab me like the first one, but still good. Thanks and keep writing....please.

We need the reason she had these kids, did she know he was sterile ? and why would she chance even having artificial insemination without telling the father?It seems she was not a cheater. To devoted to the boys and to broken up over his leaving. To many unanswered question . So I Quess you'll clear the air in the next chapter . It's too bad you killed her off.

Somehow she found out he was sterile and for what ever reason went to get artificially inseminated. She never physically cheated . Just wanted a family or is their something else I'm missing here. It just doesn't add up?

You had me at chapter 1, now you did it again with chapter 2 and I can't wait for the next chapter. Wonderful story, great presentation, had me hanging on every word. Please complete this story and continue making contributions to this site. Great authors are always appreciated.

Pretty powerful.

I would have liked to hear her story.

Given her deceit and vindictiveness I find her crashing upon seeing her husband's note a little disconcerting.

She cheats on him with FOUR different men, names the kids after her lovers, tries to drive a wedge between the kids and their father, and NOW she feels bad?

And she ends with keeping her son away, so now HE'S going to be beating himself up for not being there for her.

Keep it slow and at your own pace you have the makings of being one of the best writers on this site work with your editor

I agree, the woman who in Ch 2 pines away at her husband's leaving doesn't jibe with the cheating wife who insisted on naming her spawn after her lovers.

Even IF she somehow knew he couldn't father kids, why did she have to use FOUR different guys? Couldn't she at least give the boys ONE father?

and how it affect from the inside of healthy relations, TK U MLJ LV NV

You killed her off before he could find out. Why? I hope you can come back with some way to find out why she did this to him!

And thats just for the ending

Why do I fell that aunt sharan is the real reason this happened.I see a leter or a video tell all comming .But I still think the aunt has a big part in this dagoatman said it cya later

the why she did it was never told. If he was so smart, why did it take so

long to figure out the kids were not his? over all it was ok tale but it could

have been so much more.

If you do add another chapter, please do not tell us she knew her husband was sterile while he did not know this and decided to secretly get impregnated by 4 separate men. 1. This is stupid. 2. Was her husband so weak he couldn't have faced being sterile? 3. Even so, how is it okay to cheat and worse foist off other men's offspring on your husband. This is the number one responsibility of a wife, to bear her husbands children and no one else's children. After murder, it is the worst thing you can do to a man. Thanks!

A story well told. I like the way you handled the various emotions.

My guess is that in your mind she realized the boys found their dad and she knew they needed to be there together. One thing I do not understand is that she knew all the boys were in thus and named them as such. Why the fucking hell did she go into such a deep depression. I mean really, that part doesn't make sense and you will be hard pressed to provide a reason to me if there is, in fact, a part three.

I am enjoying the story and no it is not erotic. However categories in LIT are like rules meant to be broken. Anyway she cheated, with knowledge with 4 guys. She rubbed his nose into it, she belittled him. Not drugged, raped, drunk. Even in the very unlikely event she found out he was sterile naming the boys after her lovers (sperm donors) was over the top.

First, the public service announcements. The dialogue was a touch stilted as was the sentence structure. As you write more, your 'ear' for that will hopefully improve (it hasn't for other writers, but one continues to hope)

Next off: Here are facts you established early on

1) Dad was damned busy and hardly had time for the wife.

2) She was getting increasingly disrespectful to him

3) she named her kids after her lovers.

4) She seemed to find excuses NOT to be home, so essentially except for his MIRACULOUS attendance at every frigging event in their lives, the kids basically lived alone because mom was partying and dad was working.

How was this woman shattered at being left?

How did the kids form such close attachments to parents who were only tangential in their lives?

And how does one suddenly become a millionaire after being mentally fucked? It is so common, I figure the authors know something I don't.

And on a related note, how does one hit every game for every child in sports, music, and scholastics without missing a one while holding up a high pressure, top secret job? I know 'stay at home' dads who can't square that circle. You don't need Saint Dad (canonized by the Miracle of being Four Places At Once) to make him a loving and caring person...who runs off on them at the drop of a hat.

So...character continuity is suffering a bit too.

Thank you for writing. It's good. Here are a few weak points to tighten up. I would continue to write this as you already planned and use these suggestions for the next story

You are doing great for a first time writer. I'm certainly engrossed.

Very interesting story looking forward to Ch 3. Thanks for sharing.

Maybe sandy and shannon planned it so that Sandy can disappear like the husband. Far fetched? Sure. But so is most of this, though very well written.

I enjoyed chat. I and was looking forward to the rest. You have developed your characters well and the story line. But it should be finished. Please.

The husband should have the why answered and her sons deserve the same. She was a bad woman, a cheater (there is no forgiveness for that. But hoping that at least the answers are forth coming. Thanks for the tale.

Overall it is well done You show how different people cope with stress and lost in a realistic manner. One may select the destructive path like Michael did.. Others Like Randy and Tim choose to immerse them selves in "work" to forget the lost. Other step up to the plate and take charge to hold the family together during this difficult times, The mom took the path of self lothing, depression, and lost the will to live, But the Father has choose to run away from his problem rather than dealing with it head on with his wife despite the impact it has on children lives (Despite some nay sayers they are his sons even though he did not provide the sperm)...

On the negative note the ending left me hanging as if life is perfect now for the sons and father and the mom dying. I have other questions. Did she die of a broken heart , lost the will to live, suicide, run over by elephant stanpeed .

I think this story could have been extended by a page or two to describe what happen to mom on how she pass... and emotions afterwards of surviving family

Looking forward to your future writing

Is as overcrowded and average as you can get. Would have been more impressed with ucsd which is world renowned and 15 minutes up the coast. Thanks for writing. Looking forward to chap 3.

Why mess with a lot of excuses on why the slut cheated? She's dead and the world is a better place. Please don't try to convince us she was raped, had she been raped the police would be involved, no exceptions.

I am curious as to the parentage of the other brothers, so chapter three might be necessary for some clarification.

Except for the last line. That takes all the suspense out of the next chapter. Sure it will probably be in some kind of flashback form and we will find out everything that we need to know. However it takes away the confrontation between the cheating wife, now dead, and the now reunited with his son's father. Damn that is the crux of the tale. I call that a cop-out. I'll still read the next chapter but I'm not looking as forward to it as I might have.

Four Stars

Well developed. I look forward to Mom's story.

Just don't fall into the weak man trap, wimps and cuckolds make poor characters. Except for other losers.

love the story so far. you can see how this could easily happen to a family but it seems pretty selfish of the mother to take that way out and not be there for her boys. hope to see her side of the story

I'd even like to read the policy options memo for the Ontario project!

Keep it coming!

Who gives a fuck about the son's story? What was needed was the wife's story. It really need a confrontation between the husband and wife. I'm gathering that you are not comfortable with confrontation. Maybe you should start by telling your boss that you expect to be treated with courtesy and respect.

the mother/wife is shown as two people. She has kids by four different men and names the kids after those men. Is there any possible way she could have humiliated her husband any more? When he leaves, she's destroyed? Why? She obviously enjoyed numerous lovers. This will be hard to explain convincingly when you give us her POV. She loves him dearly but shits all over him at least 4 times? Most find the two scenarios exclusive from each other.

Finish it.

I am confused why the wife is so destroyed.

We are taking years of affairs, intentionally getting pregnant by other men.

(in this age of birth control if she is cheating the pregnancies were intentional).

Then the very very worse, naming them after her lovers.

So the wife's response does not make a lot of sense to me. How could she have loved him even a little. And that they had basically grown up together frankly makes the betrayal worse.

However its ok because it did create a nice setting for the husbands pain, which is really the basic to the story. Good job.

I really dislike her dying, and sort of hope it was not true, its a plan of hers to disappear from their lives. Because if she died, there will never be resolution.

No matter if her story comes to light, no matter what it is, without a confrontation, or acceptance, or even reconciliation, the story cant be completed. Her dying just removes to much needed to end the story well.

... You have written a very interesting and plausible story except for the duality of the mother. Unfortunately, it seems myself and other readers are just not quite able to reconcile a cheating wife, who not only cheats but has the audacity to name her sons after the respective fathers, with the destroyed mother who might have taken her own life. Sorry, but having known my share of cheating whores through the years, I'm pretty sure these two things are mutually exclusive.

Her having four boys by four different fathers does not add up. Seems to be a great family until the discovery and he leaves without wanting closure and does not confront the wife. Did she know he was sterile and in her own way of rationalizing get artificially inseminated or is there a sinister plot her. We cannot wait for the author conclusion of this story. He has us all guessing to what was her reasoning and motive here. We only know his side and the boys. But to disappear after years of bringing up these boys and just washing his hands of them all without an explanation is so crewel. They did not ask to be born yet he was their life for 16 years. Too many unanswered questions?

Excellent story so far. A few editing issues here and there, but not enough to become a distraction.

After reading through the comments, I think that most of the readers have overlooked her job description. If we evaluate the story thus far, by the time they graduate college and move back to Colorado, they have been together for 6-8 years. There is never a mention of birth control so once she begins working for a medical practice, it would be normal for her to begin questioning why she hasn't become pregnant.

The story also does not give us an indication that she covertly had his sperm tested. However, from her reaction to his leaving, I would assume she did, she and her friend Shannon concocted their plan. So I am 90% sure she didn't have sex with any of the men who fathered her children. By naming the children after their sperm donors is the reason I am not 100% sure. If I were a guessing man, I would say that is was a whimsical idea of a 24yo girl who didn't consider the costs.

You raise some questions that require some pretty deep contemplation with the way you laid out your story. I'll hold those until after you finish the story. Shannon has a lot of explaining to do. Thank you for a great story so far and I look forward to that conclusion.

I agree with lonewolf3307, a wife cheats gets pregnant and names the children after her lovers.

That for me is the most hurtful acts she has done. Because it shows no respect for her husband and s lot for her lovers.

I am sure that this is common in the real world !

Shame on you woman who done this !

Sorry but this just didnt work for me. The father (not) feels guilt ie.. This is my fault. NOT he had been lied to and his life was a total farce. Then all of a sudden the mother dies from guilt and shame. She had none through years of the supposed marriage. Sorry but the story has too many holes. The best it deserves is a # 2 for the effort put forth.

Boss wins

I'm enjoying your story so please keep going. I think your doing a great job.

I know that there is more to follow, but for myself, I was hoping they could get over the problems enough to be friends while they work together to make sure the boys were okay. Her death will only make it worse. Very sad. Too real.

I am enjoying the story so far, and I am looking forward to the next part from her perspective.

She was putting him down all the time at parties, and yet she falls completely apart? Very odd. I'm guessing there will be a third part from her perspective that explains it, but with the disrespect she was showing him by cheating and insulting him her breakdown was unexpected.

This was a much better chapter, and your best offering to date. This seemed more personal and better developed. I can't wait for the final installment giving her perspective.

The mother would just lie to her kids and say that their father was a prick woo met and ran off with some bitch...

I liked the story but you need to work on your grammar. I have the same problem. Also you ended the story to abruptly. Did the mother killer herself? Was she ill? Why did she cheat and have the 4 boys? Would their father finally forgive her? Leaving one or two of these questions unanswered would be fine but I'd like to know at least some answers.

I can certainly see your writing improving as the story progresses. I like the story line too and it is developing nicely. Always remember that it's your story, and it's fiction, so if things don't go as in real life, too bad. Fictional characters are allowed to act irrationally, after all, real people do it all the time! Keep it up, looking forward to the next chapter.

Oh, bye the way, I like the way the chapters end... It leaves something to think about while waiting and keeps the interest up. Just remember to round it all out the final chapter. A story ist only as good as the ending.

Cheers

Norm

Thanks for a wonderful story. I'm looking forward to future submissions.

I don't come to this site & this heading to read this sort of subject matter, no matter how well-written it may, or may not, be. I'm here for sexual content, & from what I read there is none. Let the writer work out his personal angst in another forum, & stop wasting my time in 'Loving Wives'.

You have a good story going. Some subtle things are missing as the story sounds a bit like someone reading the "How I spent my summer" portion of the son,s part.

However, having said that I gave it 5*. The story line you have developed is good, and you have done a very good job or relaying the emotions and the results of the affair on Dad and the boys.

I look forward to more.

Thank You.

Having the mother die is just awful .I feel the story can not be completed without some kind of confrontation . The boys will never know why and the husband won't either unless there is some kind of note explaining or maybe Shannon tells them , but that is still a cop out . I want to hear it from the mom herself ........

It is beyond doubt that in real life, there are many times more women having MULTIPLE children by MULTIPLE SPERM DONORS, as the older boy here said, as compared to women who are having multiple children by THE SAME MEN.

You chances of being caught WHILE fucking DIFFERENT MEN, to give birth to multiple children, are LESS than your chances of being caught WHILE fucking just ONE MAN, to give birth to multiple children.

It is true, however, that if you're not caught WHILE GETTING FUCKED during the years required to get pregnant to many offspring, then it is easier to hide your crimes ONCE THE KIDS are born, if you had been fucking just one person.

Phenotypically speaking, the VARIABILITY among three people (wife, husband, and a third person, the "sperm donor man") is LESS than the variability among 4, 5, 6, and 7. In THIS STORY the woman had 4 boys by four different men, so IN REAL LIFE it would have been VERY UNLIKELY that the "father"/husband was totally clueless for some 15 or so years, raising those 4 boys, with very different genotypes and phenotypes...

It could be readily argued that the wife could have easily picked ONE sperm donor who LOOKED very similar to her husband so, again, it WOULD BE more difficult, though not impossible, for him to discern the offspring his wife kept having were not his.

Picking 4 men looking very similar to her husband, however, is not as easy (again, because of the larger foot prints of phenotypes and genotypes involved).

Anyway, an unsolicited note to the author:

If you're going to do a POV from the late wife, do it from a very DERANGED, very calculated woman's perspective; it is much more believable that way.

DO NOT do it from a clinically psychiatric or professional POV (that is, the way a psychologist or psychiatrist WOULD HAVE HER explain away, neatly, every problem with a whole bunch of neat but meaningless mumble jumble, where every heinous transgression ---- every fuck she did or ALL THE MANY FUCK sessions to result in ONE pregnancy ----- has one or a series of "believable" BS that turned out to be, in reality, nothing more than a house-of-card reasoning....

Strong plot, hard to manager, but well done so far.

Very keen to read Chapter 3. I have a theory on the mother's death, but I'll keep it to myself.

What was the end game here ,the author killed her off and we will have to find her reasoning from her so called friend .this just doesn't add up . These boys would all look different from each other and the father. So why and how did she plane this, is she that sick and after his finding out she becomes depressed . And loses her life. What did she expect here. She would have known the boys would be so broken up that their father disappeared. To many unanswered questions? Every one involved in this needs closure.

One is accustomed, in this category and on this site, that the major conflict is between the husband and the wife, at least amongst such stories written as yours.

This ending event, the death of Robert's mother, offers a chapter 3 as little more than grief and denouement without resolution. Sandy can not answer, repent, nor even offend us further.

I suspect that you have some other conflict yet to address between Michael and his wife's children, or within Michael himself, but it wasn't emphasized enough to draw our focus from our habitual expectations.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter, irregardless.

Cue Foghorn Leghorn :

"Irregardless." That's a joke, son, a joke. Don't they teach you kids nothing in school?

You have developed a good story with many complications of life. It is fiction (hopefully) after all. It does require a good ending however and hopefully one will come. There are a lot of life's stresses here and so far you have developed them well.

Tiny Tim

Hanover_Fist...you have skills. Your first two chapters are very compelling. Thanx for not taking weeks to post chapter two; I really look forward to chapter three; anticipating it's the mom's story. Don't let the Anonymous turds comments bother you; they can barely write an intelligent sentence much less an interesting LW story.

BDEarth

Robert, your mom has died... really?

for a writter you are pushing too far the story.

That's the way to make the reader feel the pain of your characters!

This is a gift you want to exploit in every story you write.

You earned your 4*s.

There are a few technical issues, mis-spelled words , etc. That's not major.

I don't know if it's intentional or accidental but announcing that the antagonist is dead at this point in the story is an interesting choice. You put yourself in a dramatic

quandary. Like the Titanic, she sank. Now her chapter is more difficult. What plot twist are you going to use to sustain interest ? Where is the suspense , in her chapter

Hmmm, very bold for a memo pushing company man lol.

I can hardly wait ! Ha !

AMerryMan

I am not a big grammar reader. I am here for a good story. Granted sometimes the grammar does effect my reading enjoyment. In this story I don't recall any grammar that pulled from my reading experience. You wove a good story, a compelling story with good characters, great plot and put it together very well. Even if you left if here which I hope you don't it would still be good. I can only hope you do continue so can get all the answers from the Aunt Shannon character to create an even better ending. Right now it is more of a JPB ending which any writer can only to hope to get some of his overall work but JPB does end too many just like yours!

Please do keep writing you show a lot of skill and I will read your work again!! especially if you have a Ch.03 - hint,,,,,

So everyone moves to San Diego and just leaves the mother by herself? With her condition anyone with a ounce of sense could see this coming.Guess her kids didn't give a fuck what happened to her and husband gets zero closure as far a shes concerned. Would have been much better if it was only a failed suicide attempt so family could have gotten some type closure.

@toolman4243 ?

"With her condition anyone with a ounce of sense could see this coming."

What exactly is this condition which everyone should be so aware of?

Being a disrespectful cheater?

It is rarely fatal.

@onecoolcustomer ?

Her job?

Handling billing for an insurance company.

Not sure how that would give her any special insight into not getting pregnant.

But as a story series, it sucks ! big time !!

You create a wife who willingly has 4 boys each from different sperm donors (cheating is implied), and more or less has obvious contempt for her husband by this and other behaviors all through the marriage.

This kills any idea of the wife having affection/love for the husband and the 2nd part shows her as heart-broken and depressed that the husband has left. Disappointed may be is believable but not depressed.

Did the wife have a "Hello Jesus" brain-wave the moment hubby scooted out after scorning the husband all through the ~16+ years of marriage ?

Changing the cheater's character traits 180 degrees has ummm sucked the oxygen out of the story series(no pun intended)....

She got no less than she deserved. One could be passed off as just a flight of fancy; but four. What a slut. Unfortunately many women think just the same way this one did.

I'm going to hold off on scoring until I hear her side in Ch. 3. You've really painted yourself into a corner with her in Ch. 1, followed by SERIOUSLY inconsistent behavior in Ch. 2. How you tie it together will determine whetjer this is a good story or not.

I, too, think having her commit suicide is a cop out. No closure for him, no forgiveness or condemnation for her. Just a cheap way to avoid writing the final scene. That alone lost you a star, only because I think you are capable of more.. . .

Unfortunately the kids also suffer in a divorce situation, which is one reason why I hate cuck stories. Interesting story. I respect HDK's comments, but I'm not sure I care about the wife character enough to hear her side of the story.

for herself and her boys that she never got over the guilt. I was hoping for a better ending...

This is an example of a well written believable story. There is not much more that I can say. Well Done and looking forward to Chapter 3!

BTW, where ARE those policy options memos??

Why did you killer her? I was looking forward to her telling Her kids...about their Bios'. Looking forward to how you move the story along in Chp 3.

5x5

She had to have a pretty good idea of what was going on when all 4 boys suddenly moved to San Diego. She knew that she was going to loose her boys.

The really sad part is that regardless of her reasons, he would be childless and a lot lonelier if she hadn't done it. They are his sons and have been since the first time he looked down into those little eyes in the birthing room.

It's pretty obvious from her insistence on naming them after their bio that she knew exactly what she was doing.

We can only hope that in chapter 3 he and Margo spend the rest of their lives with the boys and then the Grand kids enjoying some of the best scenery and weather on the planet in San Diego.

CrisInGA damn I wish I could remember my password.

There are some major questions though that need to be resolved. The wife from the first Chapter and the wife from this Chapter are seemingly two different women. Some of the discrepancies can be explained by the different point of views used, but others are simply too glaring to be ignored. Naming the kids after their biological fathers (as is implied here) is just pure evility. Her disrespect of his job and other slights indicates a wife with no respect for her husband. Her total breakdown in Chapter two, in light of this, makes no sense. I can only assume that these conflicts will be resolved in the next chapter.

Dialogue and grammar had a few minor issues, but nothing too distracting. I look forward to seeing you resolve this story and any other stories you submit.

Very good story so far. I given 'Hello Father' 1 & 2 5*. However, the story needs resolution. What did mom die of? How are Dad & boys--Michael in particular--dealing with it? You really need to write a ch 3.

And I'm sad to read sandy died. But I will read the next chapter.

To the last anonymous commenter, It's better to keep your mouth closed and have people think you a fool, than open it and remove all doubt. Maybe you understood what you were saying, but no one else did. Good story, by the way.

HOW!!!!! not when, TK U MLJ LV NV

for atonement of un-payable transgressions, TK U MLJ LV NV

Gutless coward and his sons have paid and are paying the price for his being a giant pile of chicken bleep. Not good.

But she got exactly what she deserved. She cheats on her husband for her entire marriage, has 4 kids by 4 different fathers (that makes her a slut right there), lies to her husband since the first day, and lives her life as the town whore. And then she's surprised and upset when he finds out and leaves her? Hard on the boys? Of course. But why is he expected to drop everything he believes in so she can live her life the way she feels entitled to? If he was to stay and confront her in court, he would be made to leave his house (although he would have to pay for it), he would have limited visitation with the kids, and would have to support the slut. He would, however, be allowed to live in a small apartment, have Mac 'n cheese for dinner, and basically live like a minimum wage hamburger flipper until his boys graduate from college. All this so the slut can have a happy life fucking anyone she wants. She obviously only had remorse for getting caught, not for what she did. If she was really sorry, she would have told the boys what happened and why. She decided to hide everything. Tough shit for her.

I expect the next chapter to be 'I'm so sorry, it didn't mean anything, I never expected to get caught, I had to have children and it wasn't happening, I got drunk and don't remember what happened, and my friends pushed me into it.'

So according to you he should have stayed. Would you insist he stay married to her also.

My perspective, they would have divorced. Boys would have been told what a slut the mother was, but would have remained in her care.

Pretty sure that would not have been pretty either

Husband left her money, her dignity and HER SONS-AS SHE SO CRUELLY ALWAYS INTRODUCED THEM PLUS NAMING THEM AFTER THEIR FATHERS

So far mother has yet to tell sons anything. No mention why she intentionally got pregnant by other men