Help Me Dear Diary

I sent him a nude. LOL This makes me so horny. I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager. So I stripped off completely, then put on stockings. I only have one pair, but all the girls in porn seem to wear stockings, not tights. I put on high heels too, but wore no bra or panties. Then I grabbed a couple of toys, one glass dildo and one slim butt plug.

Okay, yes I've gotten more into ass play. I like it and I bought more toys after my first experimentation. I wonder if David wants to fuck my ass?

I'm rambling ...

I put the butt plug in my ass. It takes a bit to ease it into place. You have to push it deep enough that the ring of your sphincter clenches around the neck, which leaves only the much wider base. But it won't slip out that way. It took me a bit of experimenting. It's weird, there is resistance when you push it in, of course, then you reach the neck and it seems to suddenly get sucked the rest of the way in. That's when you know it's lodged in properly.

Anyway, this isn't meant to be an instructional diary...

So I masturbated for a few minutes to get very wet. I didn't need to, just doing what I was doing had me soaked. But I wanted to masturbate some more. David's cock would have been better but ... needs must. Then I pushed the glass dildo up my cunt.

Then I took my camera and click, click, click. I rolled on my side, on my back. I spread my legs, I pinched them shut. I took a three or four dozen photos. I was only going to send David one, but ... in the end I sent almost a dozen to him.

Do you find it weird my typing all this out? I can't talk about this with anyone. Brian would ... well I'm hardly going to admit to cheating on him right? And I'm not exactly going to discuss this with my daughters. And the girls. Sometimes I think Heidi would understand but not Lisa (she almost got divorced over being cheated on). Tamara I can't read.

David is, of course, not an option either. He'd be biased if just to continue to have access to my pussy.

Thirteen years. Did I mention that he's older by thirteen years? That fact kind of turns me on too.

What have I learned in the past couple of weeks? OMG only a couple of weeks.

1. I like older men.
2. I get off on being verbally abused.
3. I get off on porn and masturbation.
4. I get off on anal sex.
5. I get off on cheating.
6. I get off on bareback sex.
7. I get off on cream pies and cuckolding.

Is that everything? It's enough. That list alone makes me horny. It should disturb me.

Before all this, I thought sex just felt good.

I just re-read everything I've written. I wish I could explain it in real time. It seems like it's wham, wham wham and that David cums on my face, in my mouth and in my pussy in the course of an hour. It isn't that way. We spend all day in bed together. If he cums three times, it is only because its an hour or even two between orgasms.

And the rest of this is happening much slower than it appears here. Like, I started this diary over a month ago now, now, seven weeks. Holt shit, it's been seven weeks!

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Cuckolding. This is, apparently, the act of a woman having sex with another man while her husband/boyfriend either knows and is belittled while it happens or doesn't even know about it. Then is forced to have unwilling sex (or not) with the person previously reveling in the arms of another.

I think. I didn't actually look this up in websters, it's just what I've gathered from the video's that David and I have been watching. If you're curious search for Creampie eating cuckolds.

He has perverted fantasies about impregnating me. About Brian getting sloppy seconds. He'd like Brian to be there while he fucks me, then for me to straddle my husband and squeeze his fresh cum out of my cunt over Brian's mouth while David kisses me. Then have me grind down on him coating his face in David's cum straight from my cunt.

God help me I want to do it! After I've fucked David I'll go home, and, far from being satisfied, I'll masturbate fantasizing about Brian walking in and catching me, diving down on me, licking me clean and never knowing that he's eating cum.

I've done it to Brian several times now. Gotten fucked, come home and not showered properly before seducing him. But ... there is too much time between fucking and being eaten. I'm not ... messy, it's not fresh cum. I want ... I want Brian to watch me get fucked, I want him to see David on top of me, and have David cum, with just the tip of his cock in me, splash a shot or two in me, then pull out and spray more cum over my cunt, on my labia, over my clit. I want to rub his cum into my pussy with my wedding ring hand, and then I want Brian to lick me clean. Lick his cum off my labia, off my clit. I want to squeeze the cum out of me for Brian to catch on his tongue, spread it over my pussy, then lick me clean swallowing it all.

Oh fuck what have I become. I have to finger myself.

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If I want David to cum quickly all I have to do is beg for him to 'put a baby in me' while he's fucking me. I save that though, for when his orgasm is inevitable, or it will end him too quickly. But I can easily turn him on by talking about cheating, about using my left hand, the one with the wedding rings, to jerk him off. Which is awkward because I'm right-handed.

But I have to admit the sight of his cum dribbling down my fingers over my wedding and engagement rings is hot. Even hotter when he makes me masturbate afterwards and push his cum into my cunt.

It is hot when David cums inside me. Of course, but there is something even more perverted about taking his cum and pushing it up my cunt myself. I did that today out of curiosity. I think David liked it.

We were playing in the living room (his in case you're curious). Kissing and fondling. He was mostly dressed, me, as usual totally naked (although since I sent those pictures he often has me wear stockings and shoes. I have a dozen pairs of stockings now, and garters and matching lingerie).

Anyway, where was I ... so on this occasion I was naked, and I was kneeling on the floor kissing and playing with his cock, my head resting on his thigh. I was gently jerking him off and we were talking about cheating again. How it gets both of us hot to cheat on our spouses.

Suddenly he said he was about to cum, so I sat up and was about to wrap my mouth around him to suck him off again when I had a perverted idea. I just used my right hand to grip his cock and jerk him off, making him cum in the palm of my left hand. I made sure to catch as much of his cum as I could.

Then, as he watched, sat up, spread my legs and deliberately finger fucked myself with the cum soaked hand forcing his sperm into my cunt.

I felt so wanton doing that. This was more than just being fucked, more than just cheating and letting someone else fuck their cum into me. This was me symbolically telling my husband I was a cheating whore. It was me saying 'Brian not only do I need another man to fuck me, I can have better sex with just his cum than I can with you.'

I came hard again, my orgasms keep getting better, stronger, fiercer as I ratchet up my perversions.

David is my handler ... I admit that. He is the one that brought this side of me out. He controls this, he ... I'll do whatever David want's me to as long as this continues.

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David is a fucking pervert. I'm pissed at him ... I mean really fucking pissed. BUT...

He called me over to his house today. So, like the good little whore I am, jumped into my car as soon as the house was empty and drove over.

He kissed me, and we played on the couch in his living room. We were watching porn on television. Noting specific, random videos. We were talking about cuckolding and creampies and I confessed how much I enjoyed cuckolding Brian. We both agreed that bringing Brian into our games would be too risky.

We were watching two women go down on each other. David confessed that he found that hot. I laughed and asked how it was that lesbians, basically the one group of women men couldn't get with, were such a turn on to guys. He admitted the oddity but we came to the conclusion that it was the sight of aroused women as much as it was the sight of women licking pussy that got guys off.

He asked if I ever had or would.

I said I never have.

He said would I?

Do you know I haven't really ever thought about it. The idea doesn't disgust me, it's just never been part of my sphere of influence. I mean I lick my fingers while I've fingered myself. Can't be too much different than that, can it?

I was so turned on, and we were talking fantasies. I admitted to some curiosity about women. Not much, but some. He said it would turn him on to watch that. I said I liked turning him on. He said he'd like to see me with another woman. I said I wouldn't want to be with one for myself. He said what did I mean 'for myself'. I said that I'd do it to turn him on, like I'd do it with him in the room, but wouldn't want to fuck another woman with just her and me.

He was playing with my nipples, he was fingering my pussy...

Somehow I agreed to try and bring one of my friends to his house so we could put on a lesbian show for David.

FUCK. The things I agree to when I'm horny.

Okay, I'm not pissed at David, I'm pissed at me. I'm such a jellyfish.

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David surprised me and came to the house today. I thought, initially, that he was scared that he had frightened me off with his request to bring over another woman and wanted to make sure I was still eager to play without giving me the opportunity to refuse.

He must have been watching because Sharon had literally left moments earlier. He came into the house without knocking. I wasn't even dressed, just in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

He kissed me, messy hair, and all. He pushed down my sweatpants and underwear (cotton, reliable comfortable and hardly sexy) and bent me over the back of the couch.

He fucked me. I was wet, I admit it. I was wet from surprise and pleasure he was there, that he was using me so wantonly, that I was his toy.

He spread cool gel over my ass and gently eased his cock into that. I am such a whore for anal sex, he knows that. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, his cock deep in my ass. Then he started playing with my clit.

That drives me nuts. I'm jelly when he does this to me. He doesn't really fuck me, just lets his cock nestle in my asshole, throbbing away while he fingers my clit, and slips a couple of fingers up my cunt. We've done this with toys. He like's me using vibrators like this, mainly, I think because he can feel the vibrations in his cock through the thin membrane between cunt and asshole where his cock is buried.

He started whispering in my ear, perverted things, calling me a whore and a slut. I was his cheating cunt to use, to fuck. He kept saying things like, 'are you my slut?', or 'are you my little cheating cunt?' I just nodded, breathing hard, and panting 'yes,' to each question.

I think the idea of me with another woman had hooked him. I think he must have been thinking about it all night. I think that the purpose of his visit wasn't to ensure I was still his, but to reinforce the idea of me playing with another woman. I think so because his perverted whisperings turned from cheating cunt talk to 'I want to watch you lick a pussy,' and 'I want to watch you suck on her tits.'

I was hardly listening, just letting the words roll over me, so it was sometime before I realized what I was once again agreeing to. And I was agreeing as I was cumming for him. And somehow he has managed to tie arousal and lesbian sex into this and I don't know what to think.

All I know is that I'm turned on by the idea. Tamara or Heidi? They are my best bet.

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Okay so ...

Heidi. She's shorter and slightly chubbier. But she has long dirty blond hair that has a nice curl to it. She's married to Keith and they have three daughters.

Can I see myself going down on her? Well before this week, no way. But now? I think about it and have to admit that I wonder what it would be like to kiss her, to finger her. Is fingering another woman the same as masturbating? Does it feel different? Does she taste different to me?

I assume she shaves her pussy? Don't most women these days?

Would she be into it? I have no idea.

Tamara: She's skinny and has short dark hair. She's single, after a couple of failed relationships.

Same question, can I see myself going down on her. For some reason the thinner physique appeals to me. I have nothing else to base this on. I mean I like them both as people. But if you are talking about sex appeal, and we are here, then I think Tamara is the hotter of the two. The big advantage to Tamara is that I wouldn't have to convince her to cheat on her husband as well as to have lesbian sex.

OMG just saying that is starting to turn me on.

I'm going to eat Tamara's cunt.

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Fucking hell ... what a weird day.

I ... told Tamara about David. That's step one to all of this. I mean how can I convince Tamara that I want to have sex with her with another man in the room, that isn't Brian, without telling her.

I suppose I could have just tried to seduce her without telling her about David. And to be totally honest, my feelings about lesbian sex are more ambiguous than they were. A week ago, I told David I wouldn't want to without him in the room. Now? Now I think I'd be happy to be in bed with Tamara, alone.

Anyway, I told her about David. She didn't react how I was afraid she would. Rather it was ...

Okay, so Tamara doesn't believe in monogamy. The idea of one man for one woman for the rest of their lives doesn't make sense to her. Sex feels good, if you enjoy another person's company, then fantastic take advantage of the situation. Apparently, this is what lead to her two previous divorces. They were not into polyamory -- or whatever having two lovers is called.

I call it cheating. But get off on that idea as well you know diary.

So hurdle number one passed.

Hurdle number two was lesbian sex. A hurdle that was somewhat lower than expected. Tamara's last marriage ended because she had an affair with a woman. I did not know that.

Hurdle number three and four were jumped together shockingly. Three was the idea of kinky sex. If I was going to get her to ... forget the euphemisms, if I'm going to get her to agree to sex in front of David then she'd have to be a bit of perv herself -- exhibitionism isn't everyone's cup of tea.

So admitting to her some of the things that David and I got into, while embarrassing got into rather an intense conversation. That lead to some very experimental (in my case) kissing and touching. Which quickly got us over the fourth hurdle -- the two of us having lesbian sex.

Okay we didn't. Not yet, but it will now, inevitably, happen.

I'm both excited and nervous.

FYI she agreed to say nothing to Brian about either David or our plans.

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Fucking hell, oh fucking hell. Wow.

Okay, I went to Tamara's house today.

1. Women taste similar, or at least Tamara tastes similar to me -- does pussy change flavour with diet? Cum sort of does. It's all pretty damn salty anyway.
2. She does shave.
3. She has a couple of very interesting tattoos.
4. I find lesbian sex very hot, weird but hot. The weirdness makes it hotter.
5. I have a lot to learn about lesbian sex.

Lesbians do use substitute cocks. Or maybe that's bisexuals. Am I bisexual now? I'd heard that lesbians totally distance the use of any man shaped toys. That is apparently false, which when you think about it, makes sense. Cock shape is, after all, a good shape to enter a pussy.

Anyway ...

Tamara likes using dildos and vibrators and it is great fun to have her 'fuck' me with one of her toys, then for me to turn around and fuck her with the same toy, still wet from my cunt.

Do you know what tribbing is? Well, that's rhetorical of course. Tribbing is when two women sit facing each other on opposite ends of the bed, they angle their legs so that one leg is behind the other person and one is being hugged by the other person. This is good because it gives you lots of leverage when you push your labia together and grind down on the other girl's labia like you're humping her leg. It feels amazing.

Squirting as lesbians isn't as embarrassing as I feared, especially since Tamara is a squirter herself. We discovered this while tribbing and we each came on the other. We were quite honestly soaked and ended up showering together giggling.

Yes we have plans to do this again. No we aren't going to tell Heidi, or Lisa who definitely wouldn't understand.

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She agreed.

I was reluctant to bring it up to her. Mainly, I think, because I want more of the lesbian sex and didn't want to scare Tamara away. However David has been texting me and pushing me, so I asked.

She was rather nonchalant in her agreement, 'sure, sounds fun,' was all I got.

I asked her if she'd mind being fucked by David if he wanted her to?

She said not a problem, it's a while since she's had cock and could use a good fuck.

I asked about protection, she likes bareback too and is tied (one advantage over me).

I asked her why she was so eager, she said she likes sex and isn't as uptight about it as some people.

I asked her about David cheating. She reminded me about the polyamorous thing.

She kissed me, and asked me to stop asking questions. She was up for it.

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Okay, today it happened.

I fucked David again.

I got fucked in the ass again.

I ate Tamara out.

She ate me out.

She licked my ass (OMG).

David fucked Tamara while we 69'd.

I ate her creampie because when David came, my face was centimeters away from where his cock was buried in her cunt and when he pulled out, a large gob of cum came with his cock, which I caught on my lips before attaching my mouth to her creamy pussy.

We outlasted David. His two orgasms in the few hours were enough.

Tamara continued to play.

David likes watching us, and I have no problems with him doing so.

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I went back and reread this diary. I have a few observations.

I do not have good written English skills. I'm not going back to edit this though. Somehow the language and poor punctuation and grammar get across how horny I was and how hot some of this is.

I wish now I'd dated the entries so you could see how fast I slid so deep into this depravity. That's not a bad thing by the way. I'm enjoying myself.

The word 'golf' has become a euphemism in the language between David, Tamara and myself. To go golfing definitely does not have anything to do with fairways and greens anymore, but it is a safe way of planning around others or talk on the phone if overheard.

I'm definitely bi. I very much enjoy Tamara. We very much enjoy sex.

Squirting ... Squirting is now the challenge for us. We pride ourselves on the ability to make the other squirt first. Or to see who can make the other squirt the most. David likes watching us. The other day he had me lie in the bath, while Tamara stood over me and masturbated herself into squirting. She did, very successfully. I think she peed some too.

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Okay, something totally new. Not sure how I feel about this, but it turns me on even if it is disgusting.

Do you know what watersports are? It's peeing. Yes, being pissed on or pissing on.

It started with the squirting. David liked watching it. So we did it more and more. Only sometimes there is less squirting and more peeing and now ...

There is something degrading, hot, and fucking incredibly degenerate about lying in the bathtub while Tamara pees on me and David watches. We've ... started planning it. Like I'll have two coffees after I get up in the morning, then a big bottle of water on my way over to Tamara's or to David's. Then more coffee when I get there. Tamara will do the same. But the time it's ten or eleven our bladders are literally bursting to be emptied.