All Comments on 'Helping A Friend'

Loved your story, When i read a story that I feel "I'm there" it is a great story. I can picture your lovely wife even. baller72001us@yahoo.com

The story is very poorly constructed. Could be more touchy and erotic.

Author is confused with time. He uses past and present tenses with no idea of which tense is appropriate. Here's an example:

"Heather answers the door wearing this flowery sundress. The dress showcased her body, her breast making the dress tight. Oh how I wanted to reach out and feel her breasts." (The dress showcases her body and it accentuated her ample breasts.)

Author is lazy in completing a sentence. Example:

"Wine is perfect. Has a great taste and is not over powering." (The wine is perfect. It has a great taste...)

He uses words improperly. Example:

"The house payment is a little to steep for them." (to should be too).

"Your so cute, we have to find a woman for you." (You're so cute that we have to find...)

He uses punctuations and prepositions incorrectly. Example:

"Gary, her husband has no clue how bad my crush for Heather is." (Gary, her husband, has no clue on how bad my crush on Heather is!"

The point is: if you can't write properly, please don't!

I'll trade a competent sense of verisimility

over grammatical perfection any day.

Good writer.

i wish my best mate would let me fuck his wife. she to is called heather.

And the husband watching keeps it from being sexy, but I rated it 4**** anyway.

Why would the couple want a donor that's dumber than a box of rocks? The guy also has the morals of a whore house dog.