All Comments on 'Helping My Little Sister'

Story was ok but i kept cringing at the dialogue. Nobody talks like that. The amount of mansplaining by the main character is also annoying. And the way he imposes his view of what a relationship is, makes him no better than Tommy. Side note : it's ok to "fuck", even in a loving relationship. Main character needs to get off his high horse to have a chance to be slightly relatable (but definitely work on dialogue first).

Amazing story from start to finish. Wasn't sure about the length of the story but had me reading every word. Thank you. Keep up the great writing

Why did the father react the way he did, when he asked his son if he had a good supply of condoms for his sister?

WOW. Kind of hated to see the story end. Great job of writing.

I got to I think the third page before I had to stop. The main character talks like a Discord moderator/Reddit Neckbeard. Cunnilingus during one's period? Gross. And that he broke down the word for her was unnecessary alongside the gross.

No one talks that way. This story doesn't seem to be set in Victorian England.

You can do better.

The story over all was good, dialogue some have trashed but it was ok but could have been a bit more realistic. The length was for me too long, I would have liked to see this broken up into possibly shorter parts as reading the entirety too quite long.

I won't trash it as it was ok but with some tweaking in your future endeavors I think you could get a little better at a time a become maybe a good writer!0

This story doesn't really add up. The dad asks about condoms - assuming his son is fucking his daughter - then blows a basket when he finds out that his son is fucking his daughter? And the whole ending with look at how successful we are... ugh. Really?

It started off pretty good but I didn't understand why the father acted the way he did after offering the advice of condoms. The whole scenario between the kids and parents was shirt and awful. Both parents seemed to be caring and understanding willing to talk but you changed their whole attitude made them hateful. Then the whole cam girl idea wasn't for me.

Absolutely insufferable main character, his dialogue was awful. Learn to write for the character's age.

The first 3 stories were ok probably should have ended it after story 5 at the most.

Every time the male character opened his mouth I wanted to punch him in the face! What a total jackass lol. Other than that loved the story!

I liked the story up until the blow up with the parents. At that point I just started skimming it to see how it turned out. I would have left out the cam girl portion, and even with the parents blowing up, which is understandable, it would have been nice to see them reunite with their parents and work things out. Like some of the other comments mentioned, the parents seemed so caring in the beginning that the blow up and the disowning them that followed just didn't seem to fit. Overall, I did enjoy it. It would have been nice to see them experience more than just him on top or her on top. Keep at it and I am sure your stories will get better. Lastly, I think longer stories like this should be broken up into shorter chapters.

<p>Cool it with the exclamation points. If you want a sentence to be exciting, you have to write an exciting sentence, not try to force it with punctuation.</p>

<p>This story got significantly less interesting once they actually started having sex.</p>

It was a bit long, but overall I liked it. It certainly wasn't award winning, but the imagery worked for me. I can almost see her C-Cup Tits and round ass. It was fun to watch her transform.

Excellent writing, and your epilogue approach was a great approach to closure. Nice work.

Agree with other commenters. The characters didn't really talk like people talk. The reaction of the parents, who had been loving, up to that point seemed out of character for them. Especially after the father seemed to accept that they would be intimate, asking if the son had condoms. Also, Lisa and Matt seemed almost uncaring that they had upset their parents. Where was the normal familial love? Then the web camming? Lisa didn't want to do stripping because there were aspects of it that were what she considered prostitution. But web-camming is considered prostitution, even by the IRS. They are both 304. Just a fantasy but when you place in modern society in modern times it should adhere to modern expectations.

What an excellent story, as I kept reading I wanted more, it has fuelled many fantasies in the bedroom between me and my wife, thank you for writing a fantastic story that just kept me hooked, I will definitely look forward to you other stories and hope there are some new ones on the horizon

Fantastic story, loved it.

As falstaff mentioned, the parent's reaction was unexpected. Especially the dad, who seemed to understand there was something going on between the two of them was totally OOC...

But on the whole it was definitely enjoyable

Awful story really. It went on forever and was filled with repetitive sexual descriptions. The dad knew from the beginning but freaked out when they told him. The sister goes from virgin to nympho to a rich cam whore. You should work more on your story telling instead of repeating that they are coming together as one body and soul. I read some bad stories but this one takes the cake.

I liked the story and was torn at the end between like and love. It started out real well and could have also been written as an older man showing a young woman the ropes. however I started losing interest after they got kicked out of the house and some of the things they did, did not seem like it would work in the real world. And yes I realize that this is fantasy. Keep writing, keep refining and good luck.

I was really enjoying the story up until the parents were told it was hinted that they knew so their reaction was unexpected but it was tolerable the whole cam work aspect really made me dislike the rest of the story but the sex was good and i really liked the romance even if the wording was very repetitive a solid 3 stars nonetheless.

I enjoyed it.

I kinda lost interest with the cam business. Parents seemed like they knew or at least the mom so the reaction was waaay off expectations. And then ending with the several timeskips in a row made the ending look horribly rushed.

This should have ended before couples show since it got boring.

All in all a 5 star tale though. Fun & sexy.

Bill S.

Like so many stories,it starts out great and is ruined in the end. Two siblings in love but one or the other turns into nothing but a slut.