Henry & Rene - Beyond Monogamy Ch. 02

This chapter offers stronger evidence of my wife's reviving sexual enthusiasm. She also shared with me for the first time her new interest in the possibility of extramarital sex in the future. I wondered if she was preparing me for what might be coming, what she needed, sex with other men. But I was already prepared for that and encouraged it. In fact I was looking forward to her having sex with other men much more than me being with other women.

Imaginings

While our sex together improved during these months I searched for creative new ways to translate our physical progress into a much higher level of sexual excitement including an interest in new relationships. After discovering the idea on a website, one night I suggested, and Rene agreed, we begin to play a kind of sexual fantasy game to stimulate ourselves in the weeks before were to leave for Barcelona in early June. We promised each other whenever one of us noticed someone highly appealing of the opposite sex we would share this, describing the person's desirability and how it made us feel. Two weeks had gone by when Rene said to me in bed one night, "Henry, I saw someone today I want to tell you about, someone who aroused me sexually. Do you want to hear about it?"

I responded I was eager for her to tell me about this experience. This sounded promising.

"I was having lunch with my friend June today when I looked over her shoulder to find a handsome older man alone at a nearby table staring at me. Each time I glanced in his direction his eyes were on me, looking directly into mine, making his interest very clear to me. He was very good looking, older, perhaps fifty, well dressed, self possessed, quite a compelling man. Maybe he noticed me first when we walked past his table as we entered. I realized I had on a tight navy skirt and today I was wearing nothing under it. Perhaps he guessed.

"Henry, I found his stares stimulating, more than just interesting, because he was very attractive and didn't seem like someone who would give his attention to just anyone; clearly I was holding it. That made me feel desirable--and his continuing looks told me I was desired. I haven't been feeling that and I liked it, Henry. I wished he could see more of me. I was very conscious of my nipples pressing against my very light bra visible against my white silken blouse.

"When we needed to leave, I walked past him and at the door I turned to look at him again. He was watching me intently. He smiled and nodded. I thought of going back to him then but June was saying something and I felt I had to listen. I almost expected him to follow me back to my studio, and at that moment I wanted him to. He did not. Henry, I have thought about him all afternoon and tonight. I will go back there for lunch soon hoping he will be there.

"How do you feel about me telling you this, Henry? Are you upset? Would you like for me to go back to that restaurant and, if he is there, to sit down with him? Tell him I find him very attractive? Let him know my studio is very near. If I do, he will know I am interested in him and understand the interest is sexual. What else could it be, Henry? If I see him again, what should I do? Is this what you hoped this game would lead to?"

Rene clearly was deeply engaged in our conversation, and so was I. I knew she had found this experience vey arousing, just as I had hoped. I turned toward her and began to kiss her. Almost immediately her tongue was pressing against my mouth. We began to play, her hands moving on my chest, then downward. Usually we had to work up to this, but we both immediately seemed turned on by talking about her experience that day. I was imagining that man watching her hips and legs move under her dress as she walked by and then, later, when he looked into her face, her wide brown eyes looking back, flushed. I pushed back the covers.

"Rene, I want to see you as I touch you. Open your legs for me. Are you are already wet from telling me about this man."

Even in the dark I could tell she was looking at me, wanting to tell me. "I am, Henry. I was earlier this afternoon, too. I touched myself then."

I began to stroke her sex. She was telling the truth. Very slick under my finger. I have always loved touching her while we talk about sex, slow and gentle, letting the pleasure build for her.

"How would you have felt if this man had followed you? Would you have let him into the studio?"

"I like to imagine that I would have. I find it sexy to talk about this with you. It's making me very horny. Keep touching me there. Henry, does it upset you, me thinking about sex with someone else, a stranger, talking with him, teasing him, making him hungry for me, wanting to have sex with me, taking me on the floor of my studio-- and me wanting it too, inviting him?"

"I like it very much Rene; I like imaging it too, of you excited by another man, of another man giving you pleasure. " I said this as I fingered her, wanting her to keep talking. Her soft moans told me she was enjoying my touches, surely picturing being with the man from the restaurant. I wondered how far to go.

"Rene, this is why I suggested we try this, letting our inhibitions go and our passions rise, sharing our sexual desires freely, no caution or shame. Do you want to tell me more about what you are thinking?"

"I'm not sure how far to go."

"How would you feel it he was here with you now, kissing you passionately? Tell me. In your mind have you already begun to spread your legs for him? Is his finger stroking you now like I am touching you? If he looked into your eyes and asked you to tell him what more you want to happen, what would you tell him, Rene?"

"Henry, I am almost fainting, thinking about what you are suggesting. I'm afraid to tell you more."

"This afternoon after you saw him were you thinking about what it would be like to make love with him? I feel certain you are thinking about that now. Is it hard to put words to the pictures in your head?"

"I can't do that yet, Henry."

"Should I do that far you?"

"I don't know. How can you do that?"

"I want you to think about what might happen if you see him again. You would want to bring him back to your studio, you would show him some of your paintings, maybe some of the nudes of Gerald, the black model you have used several times. Maybe the man would ask you if you were sexually excited while you did those paintings. Whether you had sex with Gerald. Maybe you would tell him what you haven't told me, you were very turned on every time Gerald posed for you, how you and your husband had some of the best sex ever on those nights and yet you never told your husband why you felt so turned on. The man would ask if you had ever had sex with an older man, someone who would not overwhelm you with strength but could satisfy you with softer and slower caresses, who knows how to use his tongue and his fingers to give a woman sweet orgasms. You would say you have not and he would say he would like to do that for you but you would have to ask for it.

"Do you like to think about such a conversation, Rene?"

"I like thinking about asking him to come with me. If he did I believe he would be a good lover. "

"And if he told you he found you lovely and asked if he could undress you--and you did not stop him. You knew that by not stopping him you were inviting him to go ahead. He went very slowly piece by piece until you were naked. And then he asked you to sit down on your couch and he began to kiss your breasts and tongue and bite your nipples and then nudge your legs apart. Surely by then Rene you would have readily opened for him. Imagine after stroking your sex he went down on you and brought you to a shuddering orgasm with his tongue on your clit. You asked him if you could do the same for him. You went slow, feeling him grow and harden, taking him deep in your mouth, feeling the head against the top of your throat and feeling his cock jump when he came, his cum sliding down your throat. You felt very proud of what you had done for him and pleased at his gratitude and his request to see you again.

"How would you answer, Rene? Would you say, 'Oh yes, I want to be with you again! Next time I want to feel you inside me.' Would you tell me about him? Would you be wondering how I would respond or would you think you would know? If I said I wanted you to see him again, would that make you more eager to have sex with him?

"What if soon after he left you realized you did not know his name and, despite going back to the restaurant, you never saw him again. You had only the memory of what you had shared that afternoon and how it made you feel. What if after that first experience you began more often to notice other men were looking at you with desire and more and more often you looked back wondering whether the same magic experience might come again for you and whether you would seize the opportunity. Think about that, Rene, about not being afraid to recognize desire and not being afraid to respond to it, to seize the opportunity."

"That is sweet and sexy, Henry. You are good at sexual suggestions and I can tell you like talking about new sexual adventures for me. I will look forward to more enticing suggestions."

Several days later I told Rene that at the country club we belonged to I had noticed a lovely and very sexy young blond woman at the indoor pool, surrounded by young men. Several times she glanced at me, then met and returned my frank stare. "Rene, I like to imagine my answering the door one Saturday afternoon and finding her there, asking if she could come in to talk with me. She must have made sure you were not there. She told me she had noticed me watching her, she liked that, found me handsome, was tired of the young boys who followed her but did not know how to seduce her. She thought it would be more exciting and she would learn more from a handsome older man. 'I am here for you if you would like to make love to me. Or we could meet someplace else if you are interested.'

"Rene I like to imagine meeting her some day when you are away, not at our house but in a quiet hotel in the City. She has told her parents she will be with friends over night. In my imagination I am able to give her the pleasurable experiences she has been yearning for, going slow to bring her off the first time with my mouth, then with great restraint taking her gently through every position, then doing it all again but stronger and more assertively. Rene, does it upset you to know I have thought now about such a time with a young woman barely out of high school, someone who may be uninteresting to me except for her invitation to explore her ripe fresh body and reward her enthusiasm?"

"I would love to be there to watch you pleasure such a young woman, Henry. That would be beautiful. I like to think about touching myself as I watch, seeing her lovely yearning body opening up, receiving you, letting you do what you want, appreciating your patience and experience. I would like for you to have a real experience like that Henry. Picturing her makes me wonder if some time I might want to make love with such a girl. I think of that sometimes. Maybe I could teach her as well. Maybe she would teach me. Maybe she would bring a handsome young man to me in appreciation. "

"I like imagining that happening for you Rene, with both a young woman and a young man."

"Henry, we can each imagine whatever and whomever we wish as we enjoy one another. We can give each other great pleasure by sharing that freedom. "

"Rene, imagine not me, or a young girl, but that older man from the restaurant who has his arms around you, who kisses your breasts and suckles your nipples like I am going to do. Think of him when I am ready to come into you. I will imagine you saying to him, 'Please come into me now. I need it. I need someone new to fuck me, for you to fuck me.'

"Henry, come into me. It's you I need right now. "

Our loving that night was as strong and sweet and easy and satisfying as it had been in a long time. I had been hoping our sexual relationship could become more open and inventive and free and perhaps it was beginning to happen, at least in our hearts and minds. While I was moving in her I was wondering what pictures were in her mind. When I could wait not longer I gasped to Rene that I was about to come. After I did and we lay quiet for awhile, she whispered, "Henry, I'm happy that was good for you. For me too. I want you to know that I do enjoy thinking about both you and I being fucked by someone new. I get hot when you are telling me about how it could be for me. It makes me very horny. Maybe I will need it to happen to me. Isn't that what you have been thinking about, Henry? Me with other men. Is it what you want for me, Henry? Do you think it is what I need? Is it what you need? Maybe we both need something new."

I smiled to myself and said nothing, happy to know what I have wanted to happen is more and more on Rene's mind.

At the dance--and after.

For Rene a vivid further confirmation of her desirability and a new stimulation of her desire came during a late night spring dance party at the country club sponsored by the regional artists league of which she had become an active member, a way to make new friends in a new community. Rene mentioned the upcoming dance several times and I could tell something about it was on her mind. Finally, a week or so before the party, she told me she wanted to take advantage of this occasion to test herself. When I asked her what she meant, she explained she saw this as a kind of coming out party for her. "If I am brave enough, I want to make a statement, Henry, to see the reaction." We knew from this event the prior year it would involve heavy drinking and some of the crowd might be high on other things as well. Artists tend to let themselves go in the way they dress and act for social occasions, especially when they feel they are among friends.

All day the day of the dance, Rene seemed highly animated, eager for something to happen. Before we left the house she asked me whether the new dress she was wearing was too provocative. It was obvious to me it was a sexual statement she intended to make and the provocation was entirely intentional. Some people, maybe most, would be taken aback by the way she was dressed, though I didn't say so. I was pleased with this indication of how she was feeling and what she wanted to express.

"Rene, I love the way you have your hair up high so everyone can see your exquisite neck tonight with those dangly gold earrings, a new look for everyone to notice. The neckline on your dress and the way your bra lifts you up and out is an invitation to visual caresses. Your dance partners will find it hard not to drop their eyes to peek. I hope tonight you will feel as sensuous as you look. "

She had on a bright red form fitting stretch fabric midi dress which hugged and thereby revealed every curve of her body. It invited special attention to the shape of her breasts pressing against the very light bra she wore and to her newly flat and firm midsection. I knew as we entered all eyes would be glued to her lovely taut ass as it twisted with every deliberate step she took. As we left the houses told me she was wearing only thigh high stockings underneath. "That will make things more interesting for both of us," she said.

"And for everyone else!" In the car I said, "Rene, you will be making a strong statement when we walk in. 'Shock and Awe' is the phrase that comes to mind. Are you ready for the reaction?"

"I'm feel ready, Henry. Are you?"

"You look perfect, incredibly sexy," I told her as we entered the country club where the dance was being held. "I feel your new confidence. Everyone who knows you will understand you are inviting a fresh look."

Obviously she was well aware of that. I sensed when we walked in Rene already was feeling electric. It was like she brought her own field of energy and wanted to use it to charge the atmosphere for everyone. More or less that's what happened as the evening went on. When Rene and I danced for the first time I told her "I've already noticed men sneaking looks at you and several remarked to me how spectacular you look -- and how different. Isn't that what you wanted?"

She said she felt their stares, they made her feel desirable, what she needed tonight. I was exhilarated by the way the evening was starting.

"Rene, I overheard one man ask who is that gorgeous woman red? He said, 'She makes my mouth water.' A friend of yours, whose name I will tell you later, said your dress looks like it was painted on you, the way it embraces every curve so tightly."

As the evening went on a steady flow of men asked Rene to dance and several sought her more than once. I could see their enthusiasm when she accepted and it was plain to all she welcomed their attention. That, and a few drinks along the way, were making her much more receptive to close dancing than usual and she did not shy away when hands roamed more than she would ordinarily would have permitted. I noticed she danced with one particularly handsome man several times. I did not recognize him. Two fast dances with him gave all of us of a picture of a perfect body in motion. As she danced, her face flushed and her eyes bright, she seemed to be flaunting her sexuality. After one dance with the handsome stranger I watched her walk slowly to the bar with him to sit for a drink before she returned for a slow dance with the same man. The two of them pressed very close, her breasts against his chest, their lower bodies moving smoothly in tandem, seemingly expressing a mutual wish for something more. I smiled as I watched, continuing to make small talk. I knew people were wondering what I was feeling about this vibrant display of a "new" Rene. I hoped it was a sign of a sexual reawakening that would persist long after this occasion.

Much later, as we danced the last dance I made the obvious remark that she had turned on everyone with the way she looked and the way she moved, her sheer sexuality. "Men were excited and women were envious," I said and I whispered to her, "Rene, I had an erection watching you dance. I tried to hide it. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. Everyone took in how your slow dance partners enjoyed pressing against your breasts and that you seemed to welcome their looks as well, especially from the one man you seemed to enjoy dancing with the most. Do you know who I mean?"

"I know who, Henry. He was very attractive to me and he knew it and so he became very forward with me. He seemed to know my mood and what I was ready for. "

"Did that make you feel hot, Rene? What were you ready for? Were you thinking how it would be to be with him? Maybe you wished you could go outside with him, maybe to his car?"

"Don't make me think about that, Henry. I found him attractive when he first came up to introduce himself. His name is James Little. He and his wife Lea are new to the area. They moved up from the City. She is a photographer, he teaches American Literature at the Community College in the next town over. I told him my name. He immediately said to me, 'My wife and I watched you and your husband come in tonight. You are the most beautiful woman here, and the way you look, the way you are dressed and the way you dance tells me you feel like letting yourself go tonight. I hope I am right. I like to dance and it would give me great pleasure if you would dance with me.'

We danced a first slow dance. Then a fast one. I whispered to him it had been awhile since I danced to fast music but I would try. Henry, I did feel like letting go with him, so we danced fast and hard as everyone could see. I liked the smooth way he took control and whirled me around. I wondered what people were thinking about my dress and my body as I danced with him several times. Did anyone guess I was naked underneath? What were you thinking about when you watched us? It made me hot to feel eyes on me, including your eyes, while I was with him.