All Comments on 'Her Deepest Desires'

I don't get any sense of passion for anal sex from the author. It's evident in some authors' stories that the topic / fantasy being written about has intense sexual appeal. I don't get that with this story. It seems mechanical with a generous dose of cliche statements to dress it up. I think that part of the problem is the narrative voice, that is, third person. Try writing in the first person. If you have a fetish for anal sex, let it come through in a genuine way through the development of a first person character. For example, "For many years I suppressed my desire for anal love. It wasn't something good girls are supposed to like. But that inhibition changed one night when Mason was fucking me from behind. He was pushing my ass cheeks apart and, in a way that sounded as if he was giving up some long hidden secret, he said "my god your little asshole is so beautiful." I nearly had an orgasm when he said it. Without even thinking I reached my hands back, placing them next to his, and pulled my cheeks even farther apart. I wanted his desire. I wanted his eyes, his fingers, his tongue, his cock."

If you like anal, it should be evident through your words. Readers will sense it.

Look this was the first story I wrote, but the second one to get published on here. I know I'm not the best writer, I did try which means a lot to me. I will however take your ideas and try for a third story.

Ey, dont worry bout it lass. Give it a better go next time.