Her First Time

IT WAS JUST ONE TIME

"Why are you making such a big deal of it, Troy? I don't love Randolph. It was just for sex, and it wasn't very good. So, I made one freaking mistake. After ten years of marriage and a kid, you should cut me some slack. For Christ's sake, it was just... one... time. It's certainly not worth a divorce over. Think about what a divorce would do to your relationship with our daughter. Just go calm down somewhere. We can talk later." I had been dismissed.

Her words kept ringing in my ears. 'It was just one time' like anything that happens one time isn't that important.' I didn't feel like arguing with her. Actually, I didn't feel much of anything after my wife confessed her supposed one-time fling with her boss. I left to consider what I should do.

She called to me as I was leaving, "Troy, do you want me to wait up for you so we can talk some more?"

"No, Constance. I don't know when or if I will be back."

"Good grief. What's with the melodrama? It was just one time. You and I have fucked hundreds of times. Put your big boy pants on and realize that you're overreacting."

I finished leaving in silence. As much as I would have liked something along the lines of alcohol to help me deal with my dilemma, I wanted my mind to be sharp -- because I wanted my revenge to be sharp. I stayed in a motel for three days, never answering the phone or telling anyone where I was or what I was doing. Finally, I was ready to act.

*****

Constance woke up in strange surroundings and her mind was in a foggy cloud. She realized that she had been drugged. She looked around at the old basement's stone walls -- cold, dark, damp and moldy. It smelled like wet dog. There were no windows and just one door which was closed. A single light bulb hung down at the end of a cord from the middle of the ceiling. There was an empty chair across from her. She was sitting in a chair like that one. There was no other furniture in the room. Her feet were taped to the legs of the chair and her wrists were taped to the arms. She was nude and freezing. Constance had no clue who had kidnapped her or why. There was no substantial amount of money in the household nor did either she or her husband work in jobs with any governmental or industrial secrets. She briefly thought it might be Troy, but quickly dismissed the idea. He would never do anything as cruel as this. She wondered if he had gotten a ransom note for her. Then she wondered if Troy would pay it.

Suddenly, she heard a man scream from another area of the basement. Her first guess was that someone had Troy and was torturing him. But for what? Nothing made sense. Constance tried to escape from her bonds, but her efforts were futile. She could do nothing but shiver and wait.

Connie wasn't sure how much time had passed since she awoke, but eventually the door opened and in came -- Troy. He was dressed in the clothes he usually wore when he knew he was getting dirty with yard work or fooling around with his car. He had a big gym bag with him that looked heavy the way he was carrying it.

"Son-of-a-bitch! Okay, Troy. You've had your fun. I get it that you're pissed off at me. I give it to you for using our imagination. But I warn you, you better not go much further, or you'll regret it."

"You know Connie, that's the first time you've ever threatened me. Obviously, things that happen for the first time don't matter much to you. That's what I want to talk about. I assume I have your attention.

"I thought back to the first moment I saw you at the Student Grille. You were with your boyfriend at the time. I fell in love with you at first glance. I considered that very significant. It took me a lot of time, effort and money to woo you and eventually ask you to marry me. That was the first time I had ever asked a girl to marry me. I was on top of the world.

"I don't remember much about the wedding. I was too excited about you agreeing to be my wife. A wife who was agreeing to be with me richer or poorer, sickness and in health, and, most importantly, forsaking all others. I'm sure that was the first time either of us promised to be faithful to another person as long as we both shall live.

"That night, I was the most nervous I had ever been. I wanted to make love to you better than any man had ever done to his wife. I listened to every moan you uttered. I noticed every response your body made to my touches. I made love to the first woman I had ever had sex with. I couldn't believe my luck.

"Soon, we had our first house. Before long, we had our first and only child. I cried for the suffering you had to go through to deliver Cindy. For me, you not being able to have more children was not as important as your health and that precious girl we created. That was the first and only time that you and I created another human being. I think we did good.

"The next few years, we both focused on Cindy's firsts -- smile, word, steps, kiss, tinkle in the potty and on and on. It seemed like she had a new first something or other daily. I hurried home from work every day just to find out what new milestone in development she had conquered. Those were the happiest years of our marriage to me."

"Me too, Troy. And we can have happy moments again. Let me go and let me show you how much I appreciate all you have done for me and for our daughter. I won't tell anyone."

I ignored her remarks. "I remember your first promotion. Your first nights working late. Finally, your first 'working trip' with your boss where you fucked another man other than your husband for the first time. When I found out what you had done, I had a first -- my heart was broken for the first time. I didn't know what to do. I was in a place I never expected to be. I was alone for the first time since we got married."

"I'm still here for you, Troy. You don't have to do anything except let me go. Troy, I promise I will make things right. I will quit my job. I will sue Randolph for sexual harassment. Anything you want me to do to make it right, I'll do it."

"Make it right? You can't make a wrong thing right. Cheating is not alike a bent nail where you can hammer it back straight so it can be used again."

"Then I'll let you get even. I give you permission to fuck any woman you want, and I won't hold it against you. What about that?"

"Me doing something wrong in response to you doing something wrong does not make things even. It means that we have done two wrong things between us. It worries me when you say you wouldn't hold it against me to fuck another woman. If you don't care about me fucking around with other women, that could only mean you have the point of view that it's okay for all married people to fuck around on each other. You just were the first of the two of us to do that and now you are waiting for me to catch up. Once I do that, then you get to go again with another man."

"No. I just want to get things back to where they were in our marriage before I made my stupid mistake."

"I don't believe it was a mistake. I believe you and your boss have been doing the dirty together for some time. The only mistake you really think you made was getting caught."

"Troy, how can you believe that nonsense?"

"Easy, Randolph told me."

"What? When did you talk to him?"

"Just a while ago. I can't believe you didn't hear him when he screamed. It's amazing what some electrodes to the testicles can do to encourage a man to talk. After a couple of jolts, he spilled the beans. Your weekend trip was him was not the first time and until I found out, it wasn't going to be the last time."

"All right. I lied, but I lied to protect your feelings and to keep alive our marriage for our daughter's sake. A normal divorce would give me primary custody, alimony and child support. If you have to divorce me, what if I give you any terms you want on custody for Cindy short of total custody. I promise I'll sign whatever papers you have drawn up. Just let me and my boss go."

"You know, there was one big first that I can't figure out when it occurred -- when was the first time you lied to me? I'm not sure when, but I do know you haven't stopped lying since."

"Troy, if you won't listen to reason, I'll fight you over custody and division of the assets. You will lose far more than you would if you had just forgiven me."

"That's what I figured. That's why I had to think up an option where I would get custody and come out with all the assets." He had a smirk on his face.

Connie quickly figured out what he meant. "You wouldn't. You couldn't. The law doesn't care if it was your first time killing someone if you kill me. They'll prosecute you just the same and then no one will be free or have Cindy."

"You're wrong about one thing Connie: killing you will not be the first time I will have killed someone."

When Connie figured out what that meant, she started crying. She now was truly sorry for what she had done -- for the first time.