Her One Indiscretion

Fiona turned from the window and stalked into the bathroom. She turned the shower on and stood under the jets of warm water, which merged with the tears streaming down her face. "This is ridiculous," she muttered, "Get a grip, Fiona!"

She took her time drying off and pulling on a bathrobe, before listlessly scrolling through her email. Her inbox had continued to explode with birthday well-wishes, and for once, she was happy to go through them. Might as well get the thank you notes out of the way...

Just as she was about to go cross-eyed with boredom, Fiona grabbed her phone and called Mona.

"Fi!! Happy birthday, girl!" Mona picked up almost immediately, "I'm sorry we can't be there. All three kids have their end of school concerts today and tomorrow and we couldn't make the trip."

"I'd rather go to the concerts with you, believe me!" Fiona said bitterly.

Mona made a sympathetic grunt, "Cabin fever? Come on out to my place in Long Island - we're celebrating the beginning of summer this weekend! A whole bunch of us old ladies are getting together for a party - we're ditching reunion events and hunkering down. Come!"

Fiona turned when she heard a knock on the door. It was Paula, bringing in the gown Fiona was due to wear for the party.

"I might take you up on that. I was calling because I need a favor." Fiona waved her in and, seeing that Paula had hung up the dress, turned back towards the window. Marlo stepped into the room just as Paula was leaving.

"Name it," Mona replied on the other end of the line.

Fiona took a breath and said, "I need you to put me in touch with RJ. It's important."

Marlo couldn't believe what she just heard. She'd cleared her head during her run and had resolved to at least offer a friendly ear to Fiona, but now she wasn't so sure. She shut the door loudly enough and made it seem like she just walked in. Fiona gave her a small wave.

"Are you okay?" Mona asked.

"I just need to talk to her."

"Ok. She's back in New York now... Fiona, she... uh... she got married recently..." Mona's voice trailed off.

"I know."

"Okay. I'll send you her contact info. She's going to be at my place this weekend actually. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Mona," Fiona said into the phone, "I'll talk to you soon."

Fiona hung up and gave Marlo an apologetic shrug, "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"I didn't mean to interrupt..." Marlo wanted to ask Fiona about RJ but held back.

"No, no... I was just finishing up." Fiona said at the same time. Marlo looked good enough to eat, all lithe and glowing post-run.

Marlo shrugged, "Uh, I wanted to come by and wish you a happy birthday. Uh, happy birthday, Fi..."

"Thanks, happy birthday to you, too. Did you just go for a run?" Fiona wondered if Marlo would mention that she'd brought a woman as a date to the party that night.

Marlo nodded, "Yeah - ran out the kinks from the flight back."

"How was your trip?" Fiona hated how mundane this conversation was. Things with Marlo never used to feel rote. Still no mention of the date...

"Nothing to write home about. But I do I have some very, very good news," Marlo smiled genuinely for the first time since returning home,

Fiona narrowed her eyes, "Gilchrist Labs?!!"

Marlo nodded, "Our bet paid off. All that time people said we were wasting? Turns out it wasn't a waste at all. We are probably going to to triple - or even quadruple - the photovoltaic capabilities of panels today. Dr. Hammond sent me the proof yesterday. The Gilchrist team pretty much exploded with excitement. They want to fly out here to meet with you next week."

Fiona blinked. The news was stunning. First, that their hard work was actually going to pay off; second, that Gilchrist Labs may sign up to be their biggest partner. Together, there was the potential to leapfrog third generation solar cells with stable, high-efficiency solutions that would define photovoltaics for years to come.

"Everything's going to change..." Fiona mused.

Marlo nodded, "If we thought people have been crawling up our asses... it's going to be exponentially worse now."

"I'm Person of the Year - I should be able to figure out a way to not have ass-crawlers screw this up for us..." Fiona looked out of the window, "But let's simmer in the good news for now. My brain hurts too much today. We can strategize and plan later."

"Birthday blues?" Marlo walked into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. She slicked her hair back and buried her face in a towel as she flopped down on the sofa.

Fiona ran her eyes all over her friend's body. It was like appraising a big cat ... lean and muscular... beautiful and powerful. Without intending to, Fiona let out a big sigh.

Marlo looked up, just as Fiona looked away again. Marlo threw the towel over her shoulder and walked over to her friend, "What's up?" Marlo gave Fiona a friendly nudge.

I want to kiss you but I can't because there's some bimbo waiting for you in your room! Fiona wanted to scream. Instead, she shrugged, "Mom's in pre-party mode and is driving me crazy. My sister's in pre-party mode and driving me crazy. You were gone all week. None of my friends can come to the party because they all have kids and it's the last week of school."

"You're jealous because you want kids?" Marlo half-joked.

"No! I'm just saying... here we are again. Big party. I'm the guest of honor. But everyone else has things to do. I'm the wearer of the dress and the cutter of the cake. It's truly depressing, I tell you."

"Hmm," Marlo said quietly, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, "I have this teeny tiny violin that I can play for you... unfortunately, it's so teeny tiny it's literally impossible to find."

"Piss off," Fiona said, giving Marlo a little shove. She knew Marlo was right. She also knew she needed to get away for a while. Maybe I should go to Mona's for the weekend. Yes... that sounds perfect right about now.

"I speak truth to power," Marlo gave Fiona a little shove back, "Everyone's walking on eggshells because you've been so pissy. I know you can hold it together until after the party and you can go fly off on your own for a while."

Fiona stared at her friend, "Wow, it's like you were reading my mind or something. I was thinking about going to New York for a little bit."

Marlo's heart clenched with jealousy. She's going to New York to see that woman. Marlo turned and threw her towel into the sofa a little more forcefully than she meant to, "Of course. Why not?"

"What?" Fiona couldn't see Marlo's face, but there was no mistaking the bite of sarcasm in Marlo's comment.

Marlo shook her head, "Nothin'. Um, look, I'm going to go take a shower and stuff. I'll see you at dinner."

"Marlo!"

"WHAT?!" Marlo said much too forcefully. Marlo knew she was about to pick a fight, but the image of RJ and Fiona in bed together was mocking her painfully. It fueled the relentless hurt and anger that was exploding inside her.

Fiona was taken aback. "What do you mean 'what'? I said I was going to go to New York, and you act like I'm committing a cardinal sin or something. What's wrong with you?"

Fiona's tone was sharp and condescending and it only served to stoke Marlo's rising defensiveness.

"NOTHING!" Marlo snapped back, "Nothing's wrong with me. You're the one flying off to New York as a coping mechanism for your mid-life crisis!"

"You were the one who suggested I go on a trip somewhere! And where are you getting this mid-life crisis crap? Where's this sudden hostility coming from?"

It was all going sideways but Marlo was lost in a cyclone conjured by the green-eyed monster. Her eyes flashed angrily, "Hostility? You're one to talk! Haven't you been barking at everyone here all week, your highness?"

Fiona had never seen Marlo like this: her usually handsome, chiseled features were cold and full of resentment.

Marlo's rejected heart was fully unleashing years of suppressed frustration, "Yeah. Everyone thinks you're being a selfish bitch. So yeah, you jetting off to New York to satisfy some mid-life crisis is pissing me off, okay?"

"No! NOT OKAY!" Fiona raised her voice defensively, "And I'm NOT having a mid-life crisis. What's going on with you?"

"Whatever," Marlo spat out, "Like you care."

Before Fiona could respond, Marlo turned and left.

"Marlo!"

Marlo kept walking.

Fiona shouted to Marlo's back, "Don't bother coming to my dinner tonight, Marlo!"

Marlo shrugged but didn't look back, "FINE BY ME!"

Jacinta was coming down the hall as Marlo strode past, tears streaming down her face.

"Marlo... what happened?"

Marlo propelled herself towards the elevators, "She just kicked me off the guest list for tonight."

"I'll put you back on the list!" Jacinta said calmly.

Marlo stopped and turned, "Thanks, Jacinta, but I can think of a million things I'd much rather do than go to Fiona's birthday dinner. Sorry."

Jacinta watched Marlo leave. She sighed and headed to her daughter's room.

"You made Marlo cry," she began as Fiona's door yielded to Jacinta's card key.

Fiona was on the phone, but rolled her eyes dramatically in response.

Jacinta's eyebrows leapt upwards as she heard the next words coming out of Fiona's mouth.

"Yes, can you have Eddie get the jet ready for tomorrow morning? I'll fly out first thing. Destination is MacArthur Airport on Long Island, New York... No, only me... Fine. I'll take Tanya."

Fiona put the phone down and looked at her mother, "No, I didn't make Marlo cry. She got worked up all by herself... Wait, she was crying?"

Jacinta nodded, "Yes. She said you kicked her off the guest list."

Fiona's eyes narrowed, "She was being an asshole...!"

"Is that why you're going to New York?"

Fiona took a deep breath, "No. Marlo can throw as big a tantrum as she wants. I don't care. I'm going to see Mona. My friend from college. I need some space, and she offered me to stay at her house on Long Island."

"There're plenty of other places you can stay in - why Long Island? It's an awfully long way to go."

"Space. I need a lot of it." Fiona glared at her mother, "Don't start, mom. I'm going."

"Why? To go try and rekindle a love affair with the woman in the wedding announcements last week?" Jacinta looked her daughter in the eye.

Fiona's breath caught. What the fuck? She knows about RJ?

Mother and daughter were silent for a few moments.

Fiona felt immediately defensive, "It's not what you think. And it's none of your business, anyway."

"I'm your mother," Jacinta huffed, "And my daughter is my business, so watch your tone."

"Just please don't lecture me about being discreet. Nobody knows RJ and I spent the night together, okay? So don't even go there."

"Give me a little credit, Fiona," Jacinta glared at her daughter, "I don't care who you sleep with. I do care if you're going to try and break up a marriage. Because if you are, I would be shocked and disappointed. I thought you'd be better than that."

Eventually, Fiona sighed and said quietly, "No. Not to break up a marriage. I want to understand why."

Jacinta cocked her head, "Why what? Why she married someone else and not you?"

Fiona laughed after thinking through the assumption behind her mother's question, "Oh no! RJ and I weren't in love."

Jacinta crossed her arms skeptically.

"Really!" Fiona insisted, "Not even close. But I thought we both had the same attitude to relationships. It'd been comforting to know that she and I had that same understanding. I want to know what changed her mind."

"Hm," Jacinta walked over to the couch and sat down, "For... what? To what end? Whatever changed her mind, that's her business, right?"

Fiona sat down beside her mother, "Yes, but she was crystal clear that she'd never get married. It helped me stick to my decision to not get involved with anyone. But now it feels like I'm missing something..."

Jacinta took Fiona's hand, "Honey, I don't think you need to fly to New York to figure out what you're missing."

Fiona stared at her mother, "Oh, what, you have all the answers?"

"No," Jacinta tilted her head contemplatively, "But I don't think talking to RJ about her relationship is going to help you."

"Well, I think you're wrong," Fiona said with a shrug, "I'm going to New York. Mona's kids finish school this week and she's throwing a massive summer celebration at her house on Long Island. RJ's going to be there, it's not going to be a big deal. We're just going to talk. "

"You show up and it's going to be a big deal," Jacinta raised her eyebrows, "You showing up anywhere is a big deal."

Fiona let out a long, deep breath, "I know what I'm doing, okay?

Jacinta lifted a skeptical eyebrow, "You just told your best friend not to come to your birthday party... I hardly think you're in the right frame of mind to know what you're doing."

"I have no idea why she picked a fight with me, Ma, please don't look at me like that."

"You should go find her and sort this out. Right now. You've never fought like this before. Don't let it fester."

Fiona shook her head, "She's got a hot date. I'm not going to go and walk in on that." Fiona grimaced, the mental image of Marlo in someone else's embrace flashed painfully in her mind. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll see you at dinner, mom."

Jacinta sighed and left the room. If she's not going to talk to Marlo, I will.

But Jacinta was too late. By the time she walked towards Marlo's room, Marlo and another woman were headed out.

"Are you leaving?" Jacinta asked.

Marlo nodded, "Since my evening freed up unexpectedly, I'm going to take advantage of a rare night off from Edevane duties - Meghan has to leave in the morning, so we're going to hang out."

Jacinta turned and smiled at Meghan. Marlo winced, "Sorry. Where are my manners? Meghan, this is Jacinta. Jacinta, this is Meghan Randall, a good friend of mine from grad school."

"Ah! I remember Marlo talking about you," Jacinta never forgot a name, "You guys dated for a while, right? You were supposed to come to New York for part of the summer one year, if I remember correctly."

Meghan was impressed, "Yes! Wow. I can't believe you remember that. I got appendicitis so I couldn't travel. Wow. That was years ago! That was my sophomore year, right? When you were TA-ing?"

Marlo shrugged, "Sounds about right."

"I'm so glad you guys are meeting up; how nice that you've kept in touch!" Jacinta smiled warmly, "Any chance I can convince you to stay for dinner?"

Marlo cut in, "No, I think best not to rehash that. Meghan's moving out to New York and we want to do some catching up before she goes. We'll probably stay at my place in town tonight."

Jacinta nodded with resignation. This isn't going to be solved tonight, obviously. "Well, all right you two. Have good time tonight."

Marlo and Meghan walked to the hotel entrance in silence. The valet had Marlo's car ready and the two of them got in.

Marlo sighed loudly and finally said, "I'm sorry Fiona disinvited us from the dinner."

"No need to apologize! Not my drama so there are zero complaints from me!" Meghan was sincere; she was just happy to spend some time with Marlo.

Marlo zipped expertly through the streets of downtown San Francisco, stopping off at the end to pick up some dinner from her favorite bistro. Not long after, they pulled up to an apartment building in Lower Haight.

Meghan wandered through the living room with the food as Marlo went into the kitchen to grab some drinks. One wall was full of photographs, of Marlo with her dad, with Frederick and Jacinta, and with Fiona and her sister Sophie. The bond between the six of them was clear.

"I'm guessing you not going to the birthday dinner tonight is a big deal," Meghan offered when Marlo returned.

Marlo shrugged, "I don't really care, honestly."

"I'm also guessing that's not entirely true," Meghan said with a slight smile.

Marlo scoffed and sat down on the sofa, "Fine. It's closer to the truth to say that Fiona doesn't really care. Same difference, though."

"When was this one taken?" Meghan tucked her legs underneath her as she pointed to a photo frame on the table next to the sofa.

"Right before Fiona took over as CEO of the Edevane group," Marlo slumped into the sofa, "She was getting ready for a gala or something."

Meghan stared at the photograph. Fiona was seated at a vanity, facing the mirror but looking at Marlo's reflection. Marlo was standing behind Fiona, smiling at her. Even a fool would be able to recognize the love radiating from Fiona's gaze.

"She loves you very much," Meghan said, pointing at Fiona.

Marlo smiled bitterly, "Yeah, I know."

"Oh," Meghan misunderstood, "You don't feel the same way...?"

"Hm? No, of course I love her. She's my best friend," Marlo muttered. And I just picked a fight with her because I got jealous. I'm an asshole.

"No, no," Meghan tapped the photo, "She loves you. Look at the way she's looking at you."

Marlo wanted to look at the photo, but she couldn't get the image of Fiona and RJ out of her head, so she leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes, "You're reading way too much into that."

"I disagree. Did she look at you like this when we dated?" Meghan put the photo frame down.

Marlo scoffed, "Whatever. Probably not. I don't know. Why?"

"Because!" Meghan shook her head, "I think something's finally making sense. Look, I don't regret the time we spent together... and I think we really prefer being friends... But... um, you and me didn't work out for many different reasons, and I'm only now realizing the biggest reason was probably Fiona."

Marlo opened her eyes and stared at Meghan, "Huh?"

Meghan grabbed the photo frame and placed it in front of Marlo, "Stop kidding yourself, Marlo. She loves you."

Marlo looked at the photo, "She doesn't love me like that."

Meghan looked skeptical.

Marlo sighed, "She had an affair, years ago. With some woman. Earlier today, she made plans to go see that woman again. She doesn't love me like that."

"That's why you were disinvited from the dinner tonight? You confronted her about this other woman?"

"Nope," Marlo placed the photo frame face down next to her, "She doesn't know I know. I picked a fight with her. It's a mess." Marlo buried her face in her hands, "It's a total mess."

"Hm," Meghan scratched her head, "Quelle scandal... Messes can be cleaned up, you know?"

Marlo stretched, "Maybe."

"And from what I see, it's not that messy," Meghan mused, "You love her?"

Marlo nodded wordlessly. Jacinta knows, so who cares if everyone else knows that I'm the loser with the broken heart?

"Like, you love her a lot a lot?"

Marlo nodded again. Loser, loser, loser, loser...

"I bet she loves you back. Just as much."

"Then why is she going to New York to see a woman she had a fling with?" Marlo's voice shook.

Meghan was quiet for a moment, "Probably because she thinks you ran off with me tonight... You put me on the guest list, remember?"

"She's never given my dates a second thought," Marlo noted, "I think you're reading too much into it."

"Anyone looking at this photo would see what I see," Meghan insisted, "You're too stubborn to admit it. No wonder you can't commit. If Fiona's the love of your life, no other woman would ever measure up!"

"Food's getting cold," Marlo grunted, she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Before Meghan could say anything in response, an orchestra of pops cut through the quiet night: Birthday fireworks were exploding enthusiastically over San Francisco Bay. Marlo wondered how Fiona was doing. Meghan's words made her feel even worse. Maybe all this time, I've been pushing Fiona away... and tonight, I fucked up and made it ten times worse...