All Comments on 'Her Seduction Wasn't Her Fault'

A slut by any other name is still a slut. And, a cuckolded husband by any other name is still a cuckolded husband.

Probably a good story, but it is completely unreadable. Almost every paragraph is a single run-on sentence. Some going on for 8 or 9 lines. Actually the structure of each paragraph is several sentences, but they are linked into one by commas for some inexplicable reason. I know your period key is working, because the paragraphs end in periods.

It would be worth running a story through a Lit volunteer editor before posting the next one. As it is, the burden of sorting everything out is on the reader, not the writer where it belongs.

It would have been more interesting if she had told Tom about the birth father being Malc, and he told her that he knew. Tom had had a vasectomy and both he and Anne knew that her problem would be solved naturally if she and Malc could just get the pressure off of their lovemaking, and then the shared coupling opened up their marriage.

just had to fuck over the husband, a cheating slut that gets away with it. 1 star

She chose to cheat regardless of her ratinalzaton, they both had to be in on the choice. Clearly she made it her decision and therefore she chose to cheat. Excuses are still excuses. Marriage is partnership: she excluded his voice, his vote. She is not a loving wife.

Grammar, sentence structure, etc - total mess

Reading this gave me a headache, get an editor

She does realise she won't get pregnant that way, I hope.

I hope you aren't offended, but I'm going to assume English is not your first language because your grammar is dreadful. You have some interesting ideas, but readers will always be distracted by these errors. Please find an editor to help you.

Don't know if you are aware of it but it is perfectly acceptable to have more than one sentence in a paragraph. This story was very hard to read. Suggest you take advantage of this site's editor volunteers and resubmit.

Tom and Anne are total jerks.

I read some of the comments made her and cannot belive what I read.

I thought this peise was wonderful grammer wise as well as very readable.

I read many stories where it was downright obvious that english was not their primary language. Those reads were horable reads.

I also read or tried to read stories where the entire peice was one long paragraph. Those reads were impossible for me to read. I like it when different and unrelated thoughts are in seperate paragraphs. I also like it when different speakers are regulated to different paragraphs. its easier to understand who is speaking and what the train of thought is.

This persons grammer and paragraph structure is just fine so leave him alone.

Poorly written & not compelling or believable characters.

a meaty cock lustily smoked, a cornhole buggered, betrayed!

It was good but the ending seemed rushed along.

Just a couple of things ....

1) would have been nice if Anne & Malc's time together was detailed to see how he was feeling about betraying his wife, maybe a part 2 to this story would accomplish that!

2) I feel the ending around the baby's need to have a transfusion was quite rushed. I believe you could have built some definite drama and tension around this and even to the point where Brooke shares the details of her affair with Malc and in turn Malc shares about his affair with Anne. Then the truth comes about Malc really being the father. Then they can get on with their lives being truthful once again with each other. They can then decide whether to continue their open marriage or become monogamous.

I'm NOT an author, these are jUst my thoughts! Gave it a 5.

What would happen if... Anne was knoched up by Malc also? Hmmmm?

So poorly written that it was difficult to read.

Much of it felt rushed, particularly the ending.

I hope you keep trying, but with some help.

Well I guess she was faking him out all along. I am surprised she didn't pass out (faint). :)

Story is too one-dimensional. Has all the emotional impact of a three bean salad.

A slut who cheats on her husband should go down! Hope she gets HIV!!

5 stars.

Why did she feint? Did.he swing at.her? Why dodge. Another story of a whore written by an author who surely writes from her own experiences. Trash is as trash does.

Her seduction most certainly Was her fault, just as Malcs was.

4 characters and all of them bed hopping sluts.

Well, it was a great tale, with the usual bed-bouncing by all concerned, and well written, Right up until the LAST WORD.

FEINT --- Any distracting or deceptive manoeuvre (as a mock attack)

or

FAINT --- Pass out from weakness, physical or emotional distress.

A small but significant difference.

I don't get dropping the story there without the promise of a part 2. There was the blackmail on both of them so what happened with that?

A great unfinished story! 4 stars