Her Untold Secrets

"Okay I promise I won't get mad at you if I don't like what I hear."

"That's not good enough. I have a little 'contract' that you will have to read and sign before we go into this discussion of the past. I'll tell you this...I will hold you to the terms of this contract."

Jason was curious now so he went upstairs and read the contract. Oxana had written up this contract so that if he got angry enough to use any curse words or got at all violent like punching a hole in a wall he would have to refrain from any sexual activity for a year. He looked and said, "Ana, we haven't had any sex of any kind for the last 6 months so what are you talking about?"

"Jason, if you swear in anger or get at all violent I have a cock cage and you'll wear it for a year. You won't be able to masturbate for a full 365 days after I lock it on your privates."

Jason looked at her and she said, "I'm serious as a heart attack. I have the thing sitting in a shopping cart and all I have to do is place the order...so decide how badly you want your answers and how you will react."

"So I gather from this that I won't like what I'm going to hear and you are ready to retaliate if I do anything at all?"

"Yes, I love you dearly and we've been together and I want it to stay that way but...it is up to you to decide how badly you want to know." Jason picked up the pen and signed his name. He handed the contract to Ana saying, "If this is what you are threatening me with...if I don't like the answers this badly you won't have to lock me up I'll leave you."

"You would never leave me and you know it Jay."

"Well I thought I'd try to make it as dramatic as this contract of yours." Oxana smiled and asked, "So where do you want me to start?"

"The guy with the windows."

Ana took a deep breath, "Okay well that morning I was up at 6:30 or so and took a quick shower then dressed in a tank top and shorts. I had the kids up and eating breakfast when the doorbell rang at just after 8. They were at that little table in the kitchen and I went to the front door and opened it. The guy was standing there and said 'hi I'm here to replace the windows with my crew' and he gave me that look that guys give, you know. He looked me up and down and smiled. I knew what he was thinking, all women know that smile. The kids came up and asked 'who's that mommy?' and I said he's the guy that's gong to put the new windows in the house for us. Go back and finish your breakfast.'

They went back to the kitchen and the guy asked, 'where would you like me to start' as he stared at my chest. Then he said 'you have four windows on the first floor and five on the second floor, can I see the rooms and I'll decide where we should start?' and I let him in and he walked the first and second floor with me following him. He decided to start in the back of the house with the second floor windows as the kids finished eating. He sent the crew around to the back and I had the kids finish their cereal and sent them to the basement to play with their toys. (Ana took a deep breath here.) The guy, Jim asked me if he could take off his shirt and I said that was fine. While the crew started on the back bedroom he was removing the radiator covers in the other rooms. I was following him around and he kept looking at me. I saw the bulge in his shorts begin and I started to get wet. We 'bumped' into each other a couple times while walking from room to room. When we got to our bedroom he looked at the bed and smiled. 'You didn't get a chance to make the bed?' he asked me.

I said 'no, the kids needed attention.' He looked at me and asked, 'could you use a little attention as well' and he stepped up close and kissed me. I didn't stop him, I had been looking him over as he walked around; his muscles weren't really big but he was really nice looking. He took me in his arms and kissed me again and I moaned. We were both naked and in our bed within a matter of moments and he had his cock in me a few minutes later. I had a couple orgasms before he came and then he went to the bathroom and cleaned himself. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself and then went to check on the kids."

Jason was sitting at the table dumbfounded. He had reasoned that Ana might have made out with the guy and let him play with her but he hadn't expected the story he heard. He said, "And when I came home for lunch?"

"I was so worried you'd notice something different, that you'd KNOW what I had done. But you played with the kids and seemed oblivious to my indiscretion. Jim did walk around and he winked at me a couple times and I was annoyed but he went upstairs to 'check on the work the crew was doing'. You went upstairs and brushed your teeth and I thought you might have looked in our room and noticed the sheets really rumpled but you came back down and left after saying bye to us. I put the kids down for their nap at 1:30 while the crew changed out the front windows. Jim told them the kids were napping and to work as quietly as possible. He found me in the kitchen and we made out for a while and then he had me lean over the little snack table and he fucked me from behind. I had a couple more orgasms and then he went up to the bathroom and cleaned himself. I went upstairs and cleaned myself again but didn't go into the bedroom where the guys were changing out the windows. They did the living room last and left about 10 minutes before you got home. Do you remember I showered after you got in saying I needed to get the dust off me from the work and then I bathed the kids to keep up the charade. I asked you to vacuum every room while I washed the kids."

"So Ana you did more than I expected to hear about." My voice was very calm but I was so turned on by this story.

"Jay you seem so...so calm about this, I'm so surprised. I expected you to be practically ranting at me."

"For something 30-some years ago? No it isn't worth the energy."

"You had another question you wanted to ask me?"

"Ana, please give me a minute to process what you just told me."

"Okay, would you like a cup of coffee? I can make that for you honey."

Jason didn't react to Ana's question since he was thinking about the revelation. Finally Jason asked, "Did you ever see him again?" Ana turned from the counter and looked at Jason and said, "Twice after that day and then I ended it because I started to feel really bad about cheating on you. I'm sorry Jason."

"It's okay Ana. You never left me and you always supported whatever I thought we should do." Jason stood up and walked over and hogged her which made her feel a bit guilty about what she had told him.

"Now about Karen and you knowing I'm an average sized cock. How did you know?"

Oxana took another deep breath and then a second. "I had hoped you'd forgotten about that but obviously you want the answer."

"Yes, it's all in the past and we're still together and I never felt anything but love from you. You are and were the best friend and lover a man could have ever hoped for." Tears were running down her cheeks when Jason looked at her. "Why are you crying Ana?"

"Not now Jason, I can't talk about this anymore right now. Maybe later or tomorrow but not right now, please" as she quickly walked out of the room and Jason heard the bedroom door close. He was sure there were more things he had never expected to hear from Oxana, the woman he had loved and married 43 years and 6 months ago to the day. With her revelation about the window guy he sat down in the living room and reflected on the opportunities he had refused over the past years.

When they had switched roles Jason had told Ana that he would understand if she decided to take a lover but he wanted to know about it because to him honesty was far more important than physical fidelity. Jason had seen his parents split because there were lies, cheating and he didn't want that. He had refused the advances of a woman, Kathy whose husband had left her for another woman. Kathy had told Jay the woman was short and dumpy. She had said she didn't understand why her husband had left since she wanted sex several times a week. She said she loved to suck his cock and have him inside her vaginally and anally. Jason was helping Kathy repair a hole in the ceiling of her family room where a hanging plant had ripped the hook and quite a bit of the drywall.

Each time Jason went to Kathy's house she talked about sex and he had a tough time avoiding his urge to take her into her bedroom and fuck the crap out of her. She wanted him to do that to bolster her feelings of inadequacy and Jay knew it. It took 4 visits to patch the ceiling and he managed to avoid his urges each time. Jason took Ana to bed each of those nights and took her hard, but not violently, needing to release the built up tension he was feeling. Ana never questioned why it happened but she seemed to enjoy the night each time.

A neighbor, Pam told him one day, "I'm very torn between a shopping spree and an affair because Chris is driving me nuts with his business troubles." Jay found Pam extremely hot, short at about 5'3, dark wavy hair and a wide smile. That particular day she was standing in the kitchen after coming in from her deck and sunning herself in the smallest of bikinis over her massive breasts. They were DDs or maybe larger and she wasn't skinny but she wasn't plump either. She had a body to die for in Jay's opinion and he had fantasized about taking her to bed BUT her husband was a good friend and he couldn't do it. He said, "Pam a shopping spree is just financial trouble if Chris' business is in trouble and an affair could wreck your marriage, do you want either of those? Talk to him and let him know you're feeling frustrated and maybe you can work something out to help your situation." Then he went home and jacked off. Now he kind of wished he had taken advantage of one of those situations...MAYBE.

Ana came to the living room a couple hours later, her eyes red-rimmed and still dreary. She sat on the couch and asked, "Jay do you want to continue now or tomorrow?" Her voice sounded a bit raspy and flat, very little of the usual lilt that seemed always present.

"Ana, it is totally up to you. If you feel you can go on with your story that's fine. If you need to strengthen yourself to continue we can wait but I need to hear it all at some point because not knowing is driving me places I don't really want to go."

Oxana took a couple deep breaths, "Okay then we'll go on. I don't know what it was about Karen but she seemed to be able to get me to tell her everything about myself...and you. She should have become a shrink because she got me to tell her everything. Remember when I started training as a DJ, the guy I did the double gig with in the afternoon and evening?" Jason nodded and Ana went on. "Well we had 3 hours from the end of the afternoon to the beginning of the evening. We broke down in 15 minutes and we only had to drive 7 or 8 miles to the next gig. That gave us a couple hours of free time. I was riding with him since we had to go past the office on his way home we left my car there. I noticed he was hard, he couldn't hide the erection he had at the end of the gig and in the car and I was wet and horny. I reached over, rubbed his cock and asked if he wanted to relieve some pressure that we were both feeling. We stopped in a park and found a quiet spot. It was already dark because it was early November. I moved my seat as far away from the dashboard as I could and reclined the seat back. He managed to get his pants down and get between my legs and he fucked me for as long as he could hold out. I had a couple orgasms because he was bigger than you in width and length. He came in me and we went to a McDonalds and I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up some before going to the gig.

After we got to the venue I went to the Ladie's Room and cleaned up better. We set up and did the show then broke down and he took me back to my car. He wanted to fuck me again but I didn't want cum seeping out of me when I got home so I said no. I told you how horny I was and how wet I had gotten and you didn't seem to notice I was a bit stretched when you slid into me. I didn't fake an orgasm...but I was thinking about him when I did cum.

The family party with the underwear contest; I met the guy after the party. I didn't do overtime like I told you...I had him fuck me. Then the bar on Wednesday nights ...the job ended at 11 not 11:30 like I told you. After the second time there I had a regular 'date' for the extra half-hour with a guy that was in the bar each time I was there. That's why I was never horny when I got home...because I had almost always gotten laid by Duncan. That's everything with DJ'ing Jay, all of it. I was hit on at almost every party but many times I said 'no' so I'd come home to you but there were times we weren't on the best of terms you know. You or I had a bad day, with school for you or with the kids for me, I'm sorry."

Jason sat there processing all this and after a minute Ana asked, "Jay what are you thinking?"

"I had no clue Ana what was going on...with you. Between teaching and the kids I thought we were okay, that everything was good between us..." Ana came to him sitting in the arm chair and knelt at his feet, "Jay everything was good between us. I was happy with my life except for your occasional...meltdowns everything was good."

"SO, why then were you out..."

"Because the opportunities were there and I was always horny after Jenn was born. It wouldn't have happened except the guys were right there asking me for it and I wanted to say yes so many times. I refrained a lot of the times but not always. I never stopped loving you, the kids or our life. I just liked the opportunity to try different cocks...like a sampler box." Ana could see the doubt in Jay's eyes and she said, "Like you said, I never left you because I love you."

"So then it stopped after we moved and you weren't DJ'ing any more?"

Ana stared into Jay's eyes and she knew she had to tell him everything because he wouldn't be satisfied with half of the story. She saw it in his eyes, the expectation now and something else. It wasn't pain, fear or doubts now. The set of his mouth said, 'give it to me now'. She'd seen the look on his face before.

"So you remember when I told you I had a dream about a couple playing with me? I was managing the drug store then."

"Yes, I told you it was your decision."

"It wasn't just a dream. It was Karen and her boyfriend, Evan. Remember I went out for a dinner with some of the people from the store. Well it didn't last three and a half hours. The last two hours I was at Karen's apartment and the three of us were playing. Evan has a big dick, Karen had said it was 9 inches and honestly I missed that after DJ'ing...so I took advantage of Karen's offer."

"So Karen wouldn't have been happy with my average size anyway."

"Oh Karen had wanted you but I was afraid to bring it up to you. I was afraid you'd figure out what I had done in the past and it would be all over."

"How many times Ana?"

"How many times with Karen and Evan? Just the one time."

"No, how many times have you had other men or more accurately, how many other men has it been since we got together?"

"I never kept count Jay. I wasn't interested in keeping score of how often I cheated on you. It was always a spur of the moment thing."

"Except at the bar on Wednesday nights? That was the same guy wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was."

"So that was an affair as compared to...once and done...just like Jim the window guy."

"Jay, please don't look at it that way, please. I didn't...wasn't in love with any of them...it was just sex with them and it kept me sane because...sometimes you drove me nuts. It was a convenient release of my tension, my frustrations...I didn't have to go looking...I was being paid and a perk were these guys that kept my head together so I could deal with you."

Jay sat looking at Ana for a couple minutes, very quiet and Ana saw several expressions cross his face. She saw anger at first, then hurt, confusion and then he was blank, totally blank like he wasn't feeling anything at all. She'd seen that when he got the news that his father had passed away. The reaction to the news was...nothing. Just like now he didn't seem to be feeling anything, positive or negative, no feelings at all. Then he raised his eyes to hers and she saw sadness.

"SO I drove you to do it, is that what you're saying? It was my fault?"

"It was a by-product of our relationship at the time Jay. Your teaching position was draining you emotionally and killing our relationship at the same time. That's why I told you I never wanted you in a classroom again. You became so much different after you left school."

"That sounds like you stopped playing around Ana. But you said you messed around with Karen and her boyfriend and that was after I took over the kids and house duties."

"I know...and that was because Karen can get information from a rock somehow and she and Evan wound me up slowly and then I snapped and gave them what they wanted, once and only once."

"Are you sure it was only once because that Christmas party when I dozed off and you were dancing with some guy...and another guy tried to stop me from talking to you. What was going on there Ana?"

"Oh, Trevor...he'd been flirting with me for a year at every meeting we attended. He waved me to the dance floor after you dozed off. It wasn't anything, really."

"Did it become something...later?"

"No, I steered clear of him as best I could after that. Karen said you looked like you were ready to stat a fight as you walked up behind me and I didn't want to push my luck or worse for you to get hurt."

"I need to process all this new information Ana...I'm not sure how I'm feeling about all this."

"Jason, I love you and I've never even thought of leaving you for someone else. It's been sex with any other man. None of them, including Jim the window guy and the guy from the bar, couldn't compare to you but I needed an outlet from the stress you gave me. I'm sorry it's hurting you now but I can honestly say it has been only you for a long time."

Jason stared into Oxana's eyes; the dark hazel was twinkling and Jason sighed. "How long has it been 'only me' Ana?"

"What?"

"How long has it been 'only me' as compared to your 'stress relief' with others?"

"Why is that important? Our relationship is stronger and I don't feel stressed any more, isn't that enough for you Jay?"

"Has it been 15 years, 10 years, 5 years, last year or a month ago Ana? When did you stop needing the 'stress relief'?"

"Does it matter when I stopped?"

"Have you stopped or do you still need the 'stress relief' now or yesterday or last week? When did it stop?"

"Jason, please let this end now. It doesn't matter when it stopped but it has stopped and I don't need any more 'stress relief' from others because you've been so much more relaxed...until now anyway."

"So does that mean you need to go out and get some 'stress relief' now...because this is a rather tense situation we're facing? Do you need 'relief' now Ana?"

"No, this isn't that stressful Jay. Please can we go cuddle up and relax in bed please honey?"

Jason sighed, "So you want to avoid telling me when the last time was that you needed 'relief' from me, don't you?"

Ana didn't say anything for a while then she stood and said, "I'm going to bed...are you going to join me honey?" Jay didn't answer but he thought 'I better do that or you'll be going out to find some 'relief' tomorrow.' He stood and walked to the bedroom and undressed.

Ana knew Jay wouldn't let this last question drop because it wasn't his nature to walk away from something he wanted an answer about. He would start going over every detail that he remembered over the last 20 years and he'd dredge up more questions and she wondered if this would lead to the end of their marriage because she knew Jay wasn't going to like the answers if he pressed the matter further. She had the feeling of impending doom to their marriage, to her self-image and to Jay's self esteem. She felt that the truth, all the truth might kill Jay if she told him ALL the truth. Ana didn't sleep well.